Wow, this chapter turned out longer than I'd anticipated. Would you believe the majority of this chapter had been jotted down in my notebook? Now my brand-new notebook I only bought a couple weeks ago is more than halfway full. That's how slow it's been at my job.
With Lita and Black Hat being the only two living beings in the household—that had the ability to speak, anyway—domestic hilarity was bound to ensue. One day, Lita was on a tall ladder in the hallway, dusting the frames of Black Hat's many portraits. In this one in particular, he was standing on a pile of skulls. Though honestly, Lita had been here so long that even the slightest suggestion of murder didn't even make her flinch.
The mansion was extra quiet without Flug and Dementia running around trying to kill each other, so Lita did her chores with her earphones plugged into her phone, listening to music. She was getting a little too much into Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off," shaking her feather duster and her hips to the beat.
"Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, baby," Lita sang absentmindedly along.
"I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake!
I shake it off!
Shake it—AH!"
She screamed upon seeing the eyes of the portrait snap towards her. It startled her so much that she fell backward from the ladder! Thankfully, Black Hat teleported out of the portrait and to the floor in time to catch her.
"Oh, don't stop singing on my account," he said. "Your voice isn't half-bad."
Scowling, Lita thrust the feather duster into his face, as if to dust off that smug grin of his. "I almost fell to my death, you jerk!"
"You're welcome," Black Hat said, dropping her legs so she could stand. "If you're going to whistle while you work, at least choose a tune that's less…peppy. A client might've overheard and gotten the wrong idea."
"Well," she said, crossing her arms with the duster still in hand, "what would you suggest, Mr. Debby Downer?"
There was a dangerous glint in his eye that made her regret her question. "Perhaps you could try something along the lines of…"
Then he did the last thing she expected Black Hat to do. He opened his mouth wide and sang. With the voice of an opera star.
For a moment, Lita stood there stunned. She did not think it possible for something so angelic to come out of a demon's mouth. Soon it became clear that there was nothing angelic about it. After a few arias, spots appeared before her eyes and there was an incessant ringing in her ears. When he hit a particularly high note, which sounded like a melodic screech, the feather duster spontaneously shattered in her hand.
Putting a hand to her dizzy head, she fumbled forward into Black Hat's arms.
"Should've warned you about that," the demon said, though his chuckle suggested he'd fully intended for this to happen. Summoning an easy chair, he carefully sat her down. "You may return to your duties once the ringing stops."
"What?" Lita shouted, trying in vain to unclog her ears.
Laughing, he lifted her chin to make sure she could see his five fingers. "Take five."
After using his magic to reassemble the feather duster into her hand, Black Hat casually retreated down the hallway. Once her vision cleared, Lita stared at the duster and then down the now empty hall.
Either Black Hat's singing had caused her to hallucinate, or he had been uncharacteristically nice just now. If not making fun of her after giving her a migraine could be considered nice.
Lita got her unplanned revenge the next day.
She was carrying the laundry to the laundry room in the basement, when she heard a muffled voice that sounded like…cooing? She was in the area where Flug's most dangerous experiments were kept, so it wasn't a sound to be expected.
Curious, she followed the sound to a tall metal door labeled Lil' Jack. Sliding the slot in the door, she peered inside. What she saw caused her eyes to widen.
In a sort of rainforest enclosure, Black Hat stood with a great black snake the size of a boa constricted around his shoulders. Lita had known about his snake, Lil' Jack, but had never seen her, as she apparently had an appetite for human flesh. The demon's back was to the door, but she could see him tickling the snake's chin. Lil' Jack seemed to be enjoying it as her eyes were closed and she was leaning into the touch.
"Did you enjoy your meal, my pet?" Black Hat said in a disturbingly affectionate tone. "Did you enjoy it? Of course, you did, you beautiful, vicious, unholy beast, you!"
Then he actually kissed the snake on the lips! Lita dropped her basket of laundry. Hearing this, Black Hat stiffened and his head spun around. She quickly slammed the door slab shut, but it was too late.
The demon teleported in front of her, the snake still around his shoulders. "YOU SAW NOTHING!"
In turn, Lil' Jack thrust her face into Lita's with an open-mouthed hiss. The woman should've been afraid of the giant thing, especially with those fangs. But this snake was pretty small change compared to all the scares she'd gotten from Black Hat.
"W-What do you mean, boss?" she said, not taking her gaze off those reptilian eyes. "A-All I see here is this big, deadly…snakey-wakey!"
Unable to control herself, she scratched Lil' Jack's chin, much to the snake's and Black Hat's surprise. Lil' Jack's tongue stuck out in contentment as her head relaxed into Lita's hands.
"Aw, look at you!" the woman cooed, rubbing the scaly but smooth head. "Now I know why Black Hat has us take care of you! You're just a big old softy, aren't you?"
"No, she isn't!" Black Hat said hastily, pulling the snake out of her grasp.
Lil' Jack hissed at him furiously.
"What do you mean, 'don't let her stop?'" the demon said in confusion. "You're supposed to be a fearsome guard snake, not a sappy house pet!" That earned him another hiss. "No, I don't want you to eat her! But you could at least try to be terrifying! What would my clients think if I had a friendly snake?!"
This time, Lil' Jack bit down on his wrist, causing him to yelp.
"That's it!" he shouted, psychically unlocking the door to her enclosure. "No dinner for you tonight!"
After tossing the snake inside and shutting the door, Black Hat pointed a warning finger at Lita. "Tell anyone about this, and I might change my mind about not having my snake devour you whole!"
"Alright, alright!" Lita said with a smirk. "Don't get into a hissy fit."
He turned away from her so she wouldn't see his darkened cheeks, and stomped away. He didn't have to worry about Lita telling anyone. Seeing her demonic boss acting like a big softie towards his pet snake was a memory she wanted to keep to herself.
Because it was just too precious!
"Do I find it weird that the boss has invited me to lunch every day for the past few weeks?" Lita said to 5.0.5. as the two of them sat on the living room couch playing Super Smash Bros. "Yeah, a little. Do I sort of enjoy it? Of course! I mean…he's not really that bad company once you get on his good side. And it's a good thing the boss and I are getting along! It's better than him trying to murder me!
"I think he's just lonely, you know? I mean with Flug and Dementia away, he doesn't have anyone to yell at." She paused as she made her Pikachu zap 5.0.5.'s Kirby. "Okay, so…he hasn't really yelled at me in a while. But that's not something to worry about, right?"
"Bao?" was 5.0.5.'s response.
Lita sighed. "You're cute, chico, but not much for conversation."
Just as the bear miraculously won the battle with his Kirby, Lita's cell phone pinged.
"Gotta go, 5.0.5.," she said after reading the text. "Boss wants me to help him with some paperwork."
With Flug gone, Lita had been tasked with more clerical work than usual. For some reason, Black Hat made her do it in his office. She didn't think too much of it, as she didn't exactly have a desk of her own.
"Rematch tomorrow?" Lita asked 5.0.5.
The bear nodded with a smile. Then he watched the woman leave the living room, an excited grin on her face. The unusual amount of time Lita and Black Hat had been spending together had not gone unnoticed by 5.0.5. His innocent mind had concluded that they were best buddies now, and were probably having fun playing video games in Black Hat's office.
Although, innocent as he was, he hadn't dismissed a few other theories.
After saving his game, 5.0.5. glanced around and went over to his laptop on the desk in the corner. Opening it up, he clicked on a file labeled "5.0.5.'s Secret Fanfic Folder."
"What's the deal with this Doofenschmirtz guy?" Lita asked as she read through the next order form. "Who needs a hundred and four self-destruct buttons?"
"As long as he's paying me," Black Hat said, moving onto the next form, "I don't care."
The two of them sat across from each other at Black Hat's desk. Large stacks of order forms sat on either side of them.
Lita's eyes fell upon the clock on the wall, indicating that it was nearly one in the morning. "Oh geez, is that the time?! I didn't realize we'd been at this for five hours!"
"You can retire to bed," Black Hat said, waving his hand dismissively. "I can handle the rest."
"Thanks," she said, glancing at the piles of papers "Guess you need something to do the rest of the night anyway, huh?"
He smirked as he leaned back in his chair. "You know me well, my dear."
Smiling, Lita stood up from her seat. "Just call me if all that gets too boring for you."
"Paperwork is always boring, Lita," Black Hat said, glancing up at her. "But necessary."
"And less boring when I'm around, right?" she said teasingly.
He rolled his eye. "Go to bed, would you?"
His smirk didn't go away though as Lita left through the double doors. Indeed, even the mundane felt less so whenever she was around. Lately, he'd been coming up with numerous excuses to see her, not just with their daily lunches. Last week, he'd asked her to organize his filing cabinet, after mixing the files around beforehand. And yesterday, he'd spilled an inkwell just so she could come in and clean it up. Anything to cure him of his constant yearning to be in her presence!
If she had been suspicious of his behavior, she hadn't let on about it, nor had she complained. He had a feeling she was enjoying their time together too. He'd fully succeeded in gaining her trust, and she had unexpectedly gained his. Now they found they couldn't stop talking to each other. About themselves, about their favorite things, even the weather!
Black Hat didn't know what to call their relationship at the moment, but it had certainly changed. And as long it wasn't interfering with his villainy, he had no intention of ending it anytime soon.
Just then, the landline started ringing. Black Hat watched as the old-fashioned, spider-legged phone hopped onto his desk, the handset vibrating on top as it rang. Grinning at the thought of a possible business deal, the demon picked it up.
"Black Hat Organization," Black Hat said. "Lord Black Hat himself speaking."
"Lord Black Hat?" came a familiar male voice. "It's Ricardo Gris!"
"Ah, Ricardo." His grin faltered. "If this is about your daughter—"
"No! Well, yes, I mean…I'm calling from the police station!"
He put down the form he'd been looking at, his grin returning. "Gotten yourself into a pickle, have you, old friend?"
"I didn't know who else to call." The man sounded tired. "You have my daughter."
"And I suppose," Black Hat said, leaning back in his chair, "you expect me to bail you out of this situation."
One of the benefits of being a member of Black Hat Organization was legal immunity. Which actually meant assistance in breaking out of prison.
"I'm still a member! I'm only in here because I was trying to pay off my debt!"
Black Hat only chuckled. This was all too humorous for him.
"You forget, Ricardo," he said, lifting his feet onto his desk. "Your membership privileges were revoked the moment your daughter signed her soul away in place of yours."
There was a pause over the phone. "I'll sell my soul again!"
Laughing, the demon crossed one leg over the other. "I don't want your soul, Ricardo. I already took all I wanted from you. And because your daughter has proved to be a valuable asset to my organization, I am no longer interested in your little debt to me, so consider it forgiven."
"W-What are you saying?" Ricardo asked, sounding terrified.
"I'm saying that whatever you did to land yourself in this situation…was a complete waste of your time!"
There was a heavy sigh. "Alright, don't get me out of jail! Just please, let my daughter go! I'll do anything!"
"You don't seem to understand, Mr. Gris. I have no interest in letting your sweet, charming daughter go." Black Hat grinned further as he glanced at the door Lita had gone through a few minutes earlier. "You should have introduced me to her earlier, old man. She is such a…delight."
That seemed to anger Ricardo. "If you have so much as touched her, you…you bastardo!"
"I could cut out your tongue for that, Ricardo," he said nonchalantly. "But considering where you're calling from, I won't waste my energy. Now, if that is all you have to say, I think we're done here." He snickered. "If you ask me, prison might be an improvement for you. You get room and board, free meals, and won't have to worry about bills."
Honestly, Black Hat didn't care what happened to the old man. With him out of the way, there would be nothing left tying Lita to the outside world. She'd be fully dependent on Black Hat.
Ricardo fumed on the other end. "If you don't let Lita go, I'll…I'll…"
"You'll what?"
"I'll…I'll kill myself!"
Black Hat snorted. "Go on. I'll be sure to visit you in whatever hellish realm you end up in."
"Have you really forgotten your own contract?" Ricardo's voice sounded bolder. "If I'm dead, you'll have to let Lita go!"
That caused the demon to drop the phone.
He remembered. Because of Lita's distrust, he'd carelessly added a clause he didn't think was going to be of any consequence. Until now.
The condition was that Lita belonged to him…as long as her father lived. Prisoners found ways to commit suicide all the time. All Ricardo would have to do was find a razor blade or smash his head against the wall. Then Lita wouldn't be bound to Black Hat anymore. By the ancient rules, he'd have no choice but to release her. A demon's word was his law.
Picking the phone back up, Black Hat tried not to convey his fear. "You wouldn't dare. You'd have no chance of seeing your daughter again if you're dead!"
"It'll be worth it," Ricardo said with conviction, "as long as Lita's safe and free."
Shit, he sounds serious! Black Hat was truly panicking. He couldn't lose Lita. He didn't want to lose Lita! Never mind her skills, he'd grown…fond of her, to say the least. Without her companionship, he'd return to his perpetual boredom! And he still had yet to learn exactly what made her his equal, and what that meant for the future.
No, he couldn't lose her. Not yet.
"B-Before you do anything drastic, old friend," Black Hat said, trying to sound calm, "hear my proposition." He put down his feet. "If you promise not to take your own life, I will not only assist you out of this situation, but I just might let you see your daughter. And I say might, because I'm not so convinced that you won't try anything idiotic again!"
There was silence for a long while. "Prove to me that she is unharmed, and I will remain the same!"
Black Hat pulled the phone away so he wouldn't hear his sigh of relief. "Your daughter's asleep at the moment. I'll come fetch you in the morning."
"Morning? But—"
"Take it, or leave it! Perhaps a night in a cell will put some sense in that irrational brain of yours!"
As the demon slammed the headset down, he groaned in exasperation.
He was being more than generous, but he could not afford to lose Lita. If that meant doing favors for her idiot of a father, then so be it! Ricardo had to live in order for Lita to be Black Hat's. And at the moment, the fool was more a danger to himself than anything else.
But Ricardo's promise not to harm himself did not eradicate Black Hat's fear entirely. At some point, the old man would die. Lita's contract would not last for eternity. Was she aware of this loophole? No, Black Hat would not tell her for the time being.
For now, he had to keep Ricardo alive, if he was going to keep Lita.
Lita was just leaving the kitchen after having finished breakfast, when Black Hat appeared in the doorway.
"We're going out," he said gruffly.
She took a step back. "Out?"
"We have business to attend to."
"Should I change into my uniform?" Lita asked, glancing down at her purple t-shirt and brown slacks.
"No," he said, his coat swishing as he turned. "You can come as you are."
His cold demeanor bewildered her. He'd been so amicable the past few weeks, that she wondered if something had upset him.
It wasn't until they were sitting across from each other in the hearse that she started asking questions.
"So, we meeting a client?"
She knew it was a stupid question. If this were a client meeting, Black Hat would've had her change into the outfit he'd bought her in Paris. As it wasn't suitable for cleaning or thieving, the only other times she wore her uniform was in commercials, which she'd had to participate in with Flug being away.
"A former client," Black Hat said, his eye directed out the window. "He requested bail."
Lita nodded, knowing of his jailbreak services. "You're not just gonna break him out?"
He shook his head. "Draws too much attention. And I'd rather not have the press be aware of my involvement in this. Besides," he said, turning towards her, "fewer questions are asked when the daughter posts bail."
"Wait." Her face paled as she put the pieces together. "My father's in jail? W-Why didn't you tell me?"
"He only called me last night," he said, lifting his palm slightly from the hilt of his cane.
"What did he…?" Her tone became worried. "He said he was getting into thieving again."
"Apparently, he's lost his touch." Black Hat huffed. "As is expected with age."
She scowled at him. "Says the two-thousand-year-old demon."
"Yes, but I don't age."
The hearse stopped in front of the Hatsville Police Precinct, a building Lita had come to know well over the years. Reaching into his coat, Black Hat produced a yellow envelope.
"You're familiar with the bailing process, are you not?" he asked as he handed it to her.
"Yeah," Lita said, feeling the weight of the cash in her hands. "Mom and I had to get Papi out a few times ourselves."
"Then I don't have to explain it to you." He leaned back in his seat. "Just go in there quietly, bring your father straight out and return to the car. I'll be keeping an eye on you, so no funny business."
She rolled her eyes. "Like the first place I'd run to for help is the police station. Even if they were remotely helpful, you'd explode the place."
"We have an understanding then. And leave my name out of this, alright?"
Lita scooted towards the door. "What's the point of even having police on this island, anyway?"
Black Hat shrugged. "I like to make the humans think they have some security. Plus, if there were no law and order at all, it'd be all too easy."
She shook her head. "I really don't get you sometimes."
Opening the door, she stepped outside. She could feel Black Hat's gaze on her as she walked to the police station, hugging the envelope to her chest.
It didn't matter how long it had been since her arrest. Walking into a police station made her nervous. After all, she was more than just a common thief now. She was a member of Black Hat Organization. She glanced back subtly at the hearse, suddenly craving Black Hat's company.
But she understood why he had asked her to go in alone. She wasn't that well-known in the villain community yet, and everyone who had been involved in her arrest fifteen years ago had probably left by now. To a stranger, she was just a girl trying to bail her father out. No fuss would be made.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the glass door and went inside.
It was like walking into a high school reunion, with familiar people and sights all around. Officers bustled back and forth, handcuffed prisoners waited on the bench to be booked—she might've known some of them from juvie—telephones rang left and right. The smell of fingerprinting ink, coffee and donuts filled the air. Her wrists got a little tingly, thinking about the last time she'd been brought here, right before being hauled off to juvie.
Clutching the envelope tighter to her chest, Lita walked up to the front desk.
"Um, excuse me?"
The receptionist was a middle-aged white man, whose tired expression told her that he didn't want to be here.
"Yes?" he said with a groan, not even bothering to look away from his computer.
She leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the screen, and saw a window open on Minecraft.
"Err, I'm here to bail my papi out," she said, setting the envelope onto the desk. "His name is Ricardo Gris?"
The officer stopped his playing and finally turned to her, his eyes wide. "Did you say Ricardo Gris?"
Lita bit her lip nervously. "Um, yeah. G-R-I-S?"
He glanced her over. "That would make you…Adelita Gris, right?"
Uh-oh, she thought with panic. He knows.
She tried to play it cool. "W-Well, my friends call me Lita, but…"
The officer pressed a button on the landline. "Hey, Chief? Remember that diamond thief you were briefing us about the other day? Well, she just walked in. Apparently, her dad's in here."
Lita started backing away.
"Hey, someone stop her!"
Sure enough, two especially muscular officers moved to block the exit.
"Adelita Gris," the receptionist said as he stood. "You're under arrest for the grand theft of the Black Diamond of Bombay."
"Wait, what?" Lita said in surprise.
"Your dandruff was found at the crime scene," said one of the officers behind her as he got out a pair of handcuffs. "We still had your DNA on file from your juvenile record."
Finding herself cornered, Lita did the only thing she could do. Kicking her feet up one at a time, she whipped out her knives and pointed them at the cops on either side of her.
"I don't want any trouble, officers!" she exclaimed. "I'm just here for my father!"
The officers only laughed as they produced their handguns.
"A little late for that, honey," said the receptionist. "Drop the knives."
Right. She blushed as she dropped the blades to the floor. Never bring a knife to a gun fight.
How could she have been so stupid? Then again, how was she to know the police would actually be competent for once? She thought she had left no trace while stealing that diamond! And it had been months ago, she'd thought they'd given up on it by now! But it seemed they already knew about her.
But wait. Do they know everything?
"That's right. Now put your hands above your head."
Lita obeyed them with a smirk. "You really don't wanna do this, boys."
"Now get down on your knees. Nice and slow."
"I mean it. See, I got this new boss with a hell of a temper, and he's right outside watching. And I don't think he's gonna like seeing his employee in cuffs! Maybe you've heard of him!"
Just as she said this, she felt Black Hat's claws on her shoulders. Terrified, the officers jumped back and dropped their guns. Relaxing, Lita lowered her hands and let the demon do his thing.
"Now, now," Black Hat said, moving away from her as he approached the quivering receptionist. "Is that any way to treat a customer?"
He slammed his hand on the table, causing the receptionist to fall back into his chair. The demon's fingers danced across the envelope of cash.
"I'm a very busy man," Black Hat said with a sickening grin as he pushed the envelope forward. "So why don't you take this money, release this girl's lazy bum of a father, and I'll forgive this…little transgression? However…"
Frowning, his arm shot forward and picked up the receptionist's gun. "Point a revolver at one of my employees ever again, and I will personally SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"
Lita watched in awe as he crushed the weapon in his grasp. There was no denying the amount of power he held over everyone else. Even his mere presence had the soon-to-be convicts shaking in their chains. The cops didn't even bother putting up a fight.
Lita found herself wishing for even a fraction of that power.
Five minutes later, Ricardo Gris was brought out of the holding cell, looking worse for wear. His black hoodie was covered in grime and had a tear in the right arm, as if it'd been snagged on something. He was also thinner than last time Lita had seen him, and had dark circles under his eyes. But the minute he saw his daughter, life returned to that dead expression on his face.
"Mija?" he said in disbelief.
"Papi!" Lita cried, not caring if others were watching as she ran to her father.
The two embraced, holding each other close after being apart for many months.
"Oh, princesa, I didn't think I'd ever see you again!" Ricardo said through his tears.
"Neither did I!" Lita said, holding back tears of her own. "I definitely didn't think I'd see you here! Papi, what happened?"
Black Hat cleared his throat, reminding them of his presence. The father and daughter broke apart, the former giving the demon a furious glare.
"I believe we've overstayed our welcome," Black Hat said, gesturing to the cops cowering under their desks. "Let us return to the car before any heroes show up."
Ricardo and Lita held their joy in until they were seated in the hearse. Not caring who they were sitting across from, the two embraced each other again.
"Let me look at you," Ricardo said, pulling away slightly. "Mija, your muscles!" He squeezed her arm. "Have you been working out?"
"I could ask you the same question," Lita said, poking his belly.
"Well, I couldn't get back into thieving when I was so out of shape!"
Her face became serious. "So, what exactly landed you back in jail?"
"I got too ambitious." He shook his head. "I got into contact with one of my old clients. He wanted a Rembrandt from the museum. But it seems I'm even more out of practice than I'd thought. And the museum's security has increased since my day."
Lita sighed. "You should've stuck with holding up grocery stores, Papi. I didn't sell my soul just so you could get yourself killed."
Ricardo glanced nervously at Black Hat, who was staring hard with his hands gripping the hilt of his cane. His glare warned the man not to say anything about the contract.
"I…I will keep that in mind," Ricardo said, looking back at his daughter. "But I did not think you'd be coming for me. I overheard the guards talking about you. Apparently, they linked you to that diamond robbery."
"Yeah," she said, slumping her shoulders. "Guess I got sloppy."
"It's not your fault. We can't help it if a little hair or dandruff falls."
Black Hat stared as the two of them continued to talk, as if he wasn't even there. The bond between the father and daughter was a strong one, despite them being separated under dire circumstances.
He would never admit it aloud, but the demon envied them. After all, the closest thing he'd ever had to a father figure was an abusive pimp. That was all he'd been left with after his mother had passed away. While Lita had lost her mother too, she still had her father. That was the difference between her and Black Hat. If there hadn't been another she cared about, she would've become as cold and ruthless as him.
If it weren't for the contract, Black Hat would be wringing Ricardo's neck right now. Then there'd be nothing attaching Lita to the outside world. At the very least, he shouldn't be allowing this happy father-daughter reunion. But Ricardo's threat weighed on the demon's mind. Even if the fool was out of jail, that wasn't a guarantee he wouldn't try anything in the future.
Black Hat had to ensure that that wouldn't happen.
The hearse stopped in front of Lita's childhood home.
"W-Well," Ricardo said, hesitating to let go of his daughter, "this is my stop."
The two of them sat there in silence, neither moving another inch away from each other. Sighing heavily, Black Hat psychically opened the side door.
"One hour," he said gruffly. "Not a second more."
Lita looked at him in disbelief. "R-Really?"
The demon met her gaze coldly. "Fifty-nine minutes and fifty seconds."
Overcome with joy, Lita practically leaped out of the car, dragging her father with her. "Thank you, boss!"
"I'm watching you!" Black Hat shouted as he psychically slammed the door closed.
The first thing Lita noticed when coming into the house that it was a lot tidier than she'd left it.
"Papi?" She glanced down at the bare, vacuumed carpet. "Have you…you cleaned?"
Ricardo shrugged. "Well, with you gone, I realized…I had to start taking care of this house. And myself."
She noticed the small barbells in front of the television. "You have been working out!"
He smiled softly. "I'm so happy to see you here, mija. The place has been so quiet and…empty without you."
Lita faced him. "I wish I could say the same, but…let's be honest. It's never quiet at Black Hat Manor!"
He laughed. "Fair enough."
Ricardo's expression then became serious as he glanced over his shoulder. He knew Black Hat was listening somehow, so he had to choose his words carefully.
"Mija," her father said, leaning forward. "Be honest with me. Are you…has he…?"
Lita knew to what he was referring. "He hasn't hurt me, Papi, if that's what you mean."
It was almost true. Since that incident with the Disintegration Ray, Black Hat hadn't tried any corporal punishment. Come to think of it, she couldn't remember the last time he'd even threatened her. Sure, his temper was still hot, but rarely directed towards her.
But her father didn't seem to buy it. "I don't care if he's listening. You can tell me. He hasn't…he hasn't tried to…I mean he is a man."
Lita rolled her eyes. "No, Papi. He hasn't raped me. In fact, by this point, I'm pretty sure the dude is somewhere on the asexual-aromantic spectrum. Seriously, in all the time we were alone in Paris, he never once tried to—"
"You went to Paris?" Ricardo asked in surprise.
"Uh-huh. Oh, Papi, it was incredible! The buildings were so huge, and everything was so bright and colorful and we went to the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and—oh!"
Setting her backpack onto the couch, she opened up one of the smaller pockets and dug around.
"I, um, snagged one of these," she said, taking out a keychain of the Eiffel Tower. "I was gonna keep it for myself as a souvenir, but…"
She placed it in his hand. Ricardo was still flabbergasted.
"You went to Paris? With Black Hat?"
"Oh, yeah. Business trip with a client. Not supposed to tell you who, but wow did that guy have the cliché bad guy monologue down to an art! Oh, hey! Have you eaten today?"
Ricardo shook his head.
"Then let me fix you something!" She glanced at the clock. "Hmm. We still have fifty minutes. That's plenty of time to make an omelet."
The man's eyes widened as his daughter skipped into the kitchen. "Since when do you know how to make omelets?"
"Flug and 5.0.5. taught me," Lita said as she got some eggs out of the fridge. "Everyone in the mansion cooks, so I had to learn. Hey, where do you keep the skillet?"
Ricardo opened one of the lower cupboards for her. "You…you cook for them?"
"Yeah, but I'm not as good as them. Well, Dementia's a lot worse, but you should try 5.0.5.'s baked goods! Seriously, it's no wonder villains keep having him cater for them!" After finding a mixing bowl and some more ingredients, she got to work on the omelet. "Flug's pretty good too, especially when it comes to pasta. And I don't know if Black Hat studied from an evil gourmet chef or what, but whenever it's his turn to cook, I feel like I'm eating at a five-star restaurant!"
Hearing his daughter talk about her villainous co-workers with such praise and elation was…disconcerting for Ricardo. She had sounded healthy over the phone, but he had been so sure she'd been faking it for his benefit. Or because the phone was tapped.
In fact, Ricardo had never heard Lita talk about any of her co-workers this way. She'd never worked at a job long enough to get to know anybody, and thus had never tried. Even before her arrest, Ricardo had been aware of Lita's social isolation. She hadn't even insisted on a birthday party. There had been no friends to invite.
Normally, Ricardo would've been thrilled that she was making friends. But these weren't the kind of friends he'd had in mind.
"Mija," he said slowly. "Do you mean to say you're…getting along with those…those villains?"
"Um…yeah, I guess so," Lita said, beating the eggs in the mixing bowl. "I mean… Dementia and I are still on the fence, but they're all really not so bad once you get to know them. Especially 5.0.5. There's not an evil bone in his body."
"The bear, I understand, but…even that doctor?"
Ricardo shivered at the memory of Dr. Flug's electro-convulsion therapy.
"Don't get me wrong." Lita poured the mixture into the skillet. "He's as sadistic as the rest. But he's a real sweetheart deep down. Like he's always giving me good advice and is really helpful every time I get injured." Seeing her father's horrified expression, she quickly added, "From sparring!"
"What about…Black Hat?" he whispered the name. "Isn't he…aren't you frightened of him at all?"
Lita paused to think about it. "No. I mean…I guess he scared me a little at first, but…"
Embarrassed to be talking about this, she went back to smoothing the edges of the eggs out with her spatula. Ricardo mistook her nerves for something else.
"Mija, if he has hurt you—"
"Stop it, Papi!" Lita exclaimed, pointing the spatula at him like a knife. "For the last time, he has not hurt me! I know he can break my bones with a snap of his fingers, but he hasn't! Yes, he's a villain. Yes, he's a demon. But he's also a person with a conscience, and because of that, I have no reason to be afraid of him!"
His daughter's passionate outburst had Ricardo taken aback. Realizing she had shouted, Lita bit her lip and returned to her cooking.
"Sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to…" She sighed. "You don't have to worry about me. I can handle Black Hat."
He was still skeptical. "What…what makes you so sure about that?"
"You know how Mom always said there were no good or bad people in this world? Just people who sometimes did bad things? Well, it's the same with Black Hat."
Ricardo shook his head. "Your mother was…incredibly tolerable. More tolerable than she should've been. But just because people aren't all bad, doesn't excuse the things this demon has done."
"Maybe." Lita focused her gaze on the eggs. "But it makes him human."
Outside, a few civilians had come out of their houses, but had quickly retreated back inside upon seeing the distinct vehicle parked there. No one even bothered calling the police or Hero Organization, for they knew not to get in Black Hat's way. The demon in question paid them no heed as he waited in the hearse, his hearing focused on the conversation in the Gris' home.
To hear Lita defend him was surprising. Yet his chest felt lighter from it. She sounded genuine, even though she knew he was keeping tabs on her.
He almost had her. He had her loyalty, but there was still the matter of her mixed morality. Not to mention the loophole that came with her father's death. Even if he didn't take his own life, he would still die eventually. Whether it was from hunger, sickness, or old age. Perhaps Lita was content with working for Black Hat for now, but what would she do the moment her contract was up?
Instead of thinking about how he would handle that inevitability, he decided he would do what he could to postpone it.
Three seconds before the hour was up, the front door to the house opened. Black Hat sighed, relieved that he wouldn't have to go in after her. He watched as Lita gave her father one last hug. They were whispering, but the demon could still hear them.
"Let me know if that bastardo hurts you," Ricardo said.
"Don't call him that, Papi," Lita said. "And I told you. I'll be fine."
When their hug went on for a few seconds longer than Black Hat would've liked, he rolled down the window and cleared his throat. Lita kissed her father's cheek before breaking away from him and returning to the hearse. As soon as she opened the door, Black Hat stepped out.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"I have some business to discuss with your father," he replied bluntly, not even looking at her as he walked to the front door. "Wait in the car."
Watching him warily, Lita sat down in the hearse. Ricardo stepped aside to let the demon through before shutting the door. For a long while, Black Hat was silent as he kept his back to the man. Then, turning around, he handed Ricardo a sealed yellow envelope.
"What's this?" Ricardo asked, taking the envelope.
"Insurance," Black Hat said, placing his hands behind his back.
The man opened up the package. His eyes widened upon seeing a wad of pesos.
"I…don't understand," Ricardo said in bewilderment.
"I'm giving this to you in confidence," Black Hat said, poking the man's belly with his cane, "that you use it to get your sad, sorry, little life together. And that you won't put yourself in harm's way again." His eye flitted towards the door. "Even if you end up freeing your daughter, I don't think she'd appreciate her father abandoning her, leaving her all alone with nothing but an empty house!" His voice became softer. "Even I'm not that cruel."
His words confused Ricardo. Black Hat was not known for charity. The demon he'd worked for all these years had never given anyone money without demanding something in return. The bail money had been one thing, but this? Even if this was to ensure that Lita remain in Black Hat's employment, this was unexpectedly generous.
Ricardo looked the demon in the eye. "Why do you want her so much?"
Black Hat cocked his head, as if the answer were obvious. "Your daughter is very talented. I plan to mold her into the villainess I know she can be."
The man did not break eye contact. "She claims…you haven't harmed her."
The demon leaned forward onto his cane. "Is that a problem?"
"It's suspicious." Ricardo crossed his arms. "The way you treat your employees is no secret. Even that lizard-girl in love with you is afraid of you. But Lita…she doesn't seem to be scared of you at all."
"Then there is nothing to concern you," Black Hat said rapidly with a tip of his hat. "Good day, señor."
The demon moved past him. His hand was on the doorknob when Ricardo spoke again, his voice cracking.
"Are you in love with her?"
Black Hat stiffened. "What?"
Ricardo turned to him fully. "Are you in love with my daughter? Because if you are, just know that…my Adelita's not like the henchgirls you normally keep! She's not a fool, and she would never allow you to—"
With the speed of a cheetah, Black Hat spun around and gripped a claw around the short man's neck. It was tight enough to make him struggle, but not enough to block his windpipe.
"If it weren't for that blasted contract," the demon growled, "I'd slaughter you, old man! You know as well as anybody that there's no room in my lifeless, black heart to love anybody or anything!"
Ricardo stood his ground, no longer afraid of dying. "If my daughter means nothing to you, then why are you so adamant to keep me alive?"
Scowling, Black Hat dropped the man to the floor. "Your daughter is but a pawn. A means to an end." Leaning on his cane, Black Hat loomed over him. "And if you so much as suggest that she is anything more, remember that there are fates worse than death!"
"Go on," Ricardo said, standing up. "Make my life a living hell. See how Lita thinks of you then."
They stood there for a long while, glaring at each other.
"Let's keep this little conversation between us, shall we?" Black Hat said in a mock-civilized tone as he held up a finger. "And not a word about the contract to Lita. Or perhaps you'd like to explain to her that you'd threatened to off yourself for her benefit?"
Ricardo didn't blink. "If you hurt her in any way, our deal is off."
Black Hat clenched the hilt of his cane. "Understood."
No longer able to control his rage, Black Hat psychically swung the front door open and stomped through it. Lita was still waiting in the hearse. Of course, it would've been pointless for her to have made a break for it, but it relieved him that she hadn't at least tried.
As he joined her in the car and barked for the auto-drive to take them home, Lita noticed his frustration. He noticed her sadness. Not wanting to seem like he cared, Black Hat focused his gaze out the window. But Lita just couldn't keep quiet.
"You didn't have to do that," she said softly.
He snorted through his nostrils. "Actually, I did."
Lita sighed. "You could've left my dad in jail. And you didn't have to give me time with him. And even if your reasons were totally selfish, I…thanks."
Black Hat gripped the hilt of his cane. "Why do you still care for him?"
She blinked at the question. "He's my father."
"He's the reason you're in this situation," he said under his breath.
"Well, yeah, but…you don't hate your mother for the things she did, do you?"
His cane splintered between his fingers. "My mother had no choice."
"Papi doesn't have that many either. He grew up an orphan, you know? He only started stealing because he was trying to survive the streets. Not much different from you."
This time, he did look at her. "Except that I moved past all that and made something of myself! But that man…that man's actions condemned his own daughter!"
Lita narrowed her eyes. "If there's anyone to blame for my situation, it's me. I sold my soul because I wasn't willing to see him die."
"You would've at least done fine on your own!"
"Not without him," she whispered with a shake of her head.
Black Hat's expression softened as he started to realize something else about Lita. She wasn't simply attached to her father. She was dependent on him. Now that the demon thought about it, every big decision she'd made in her life had been for her father. She'd started stealing for him, she'd stopped stealing for him, she'd sold her soul for him.
"When's the last time you've done something for yourself?" Black Hat asked abruptly.
Lita stared at him, unsure of what had brought this question on. Her mouth opened, but she had difficulty finding an answer.
"Villain or not, Miss Gris," he said slowly, "if you never do anything for yourself, you'll be a martyr for life."
She crossed her arms. "Is it wrong to want to help others?"
"Not to a point of self-annihilation."
Snorting, she turned her face towards the window. "Well, what I want doesn't matter now that you own my soul."
"True," Black Hat said with a shrug. "One cannot always get what they want. Villains simply aren't afraid to try."
"Guess I'm not a real villain then," she said under her breath.
"You will be. When you start thinking about yourself."
"What if I don't wanna be a villain?"
"It's a little late for that, my dear." He smirked. "You're already a branded criminal."
"Criminal is one thing. I've never hurt anyone." The rest she mumbled. "That didn't deserve it."
Black Hat grinned, knowing this meant she had hurt someone. "You see? You try to justify your crimes, just as a villain would."
"But you never think about it," Lita said, facing him, "when you hurt someone. How they'd feel. Whether or not anybody would miss them. If they had a mother like you did."
He scoffed. "Did you think about others when you stole from them? How they would be affected by your crimes?"
"W-Well…no, but…" She hung her head. "I was just trying to—"
"Maybe they had some debts to pay off, families to care for. But you never considered that when you robbed them, did you? Face it, Miss Gris. You're aware that it's either kill, or be killed in this world." Feeling triumphant, Black Hat leaned back in his seat. "You're a villain in denial."
Fuming, Lita also leaned back in her seat. "And you're a human being in denial."
"If you'll recall," he said through his teeth, "I haven't been human in nearly two thousand years."
"Doesn't change the fact that you were one. Which means you're just as capable of doing good as you are of doing evil."
His grin dropped. "Watch your mouth! I was never good to begin with!" He leaned forward. "You think I was a saint when I was human? I was headed for a hellish afterlife long before I made that deal!"
"I never said you were good!" Lita leaned toward him. "But you still do good every now and then!"
"I do not!" he snapped.
"Then why give me time with my father?"
"That wasn't for your benefit, but mine!"
"How?!"
He gritted his teeth together. "I don't need to tell you!"
The cane shattered in his grasp, causing Lita to jump back.
"I've had it up to here," Black Hat shouted, bringing his hand up to his neck, "with your," he lifted his voice an octave to mimic her, "'there's no such thing as good or evil' mantra! You signed your soul over to me, and you are going to be a villain, whether you like it or not!"
Lita was so angry, she couldn't stop her hand from going to her boot. Faster than either of them could think, Lita threw one of her knives at him, striking the demon in the chest. Right where his heart should've been. Black Hat looked down at the knife with a mixture of shock and awe.
"You want me to be a villain?" she said, breathing heavily. "Fine. I'm done being nice."
As she slumped in her seat, Black Hat slowly pulled the knife out of his chest.
"That's what I wanted to hear," he said with a chuckle.
But his mirth was short-lived when he caught sight of the woman wiping a tear out of her eye. It wouldn't be the first time he saw her cry, but this would be one of the few times he was the cause. As it should be.
Why did he not like it?
Lunchtime was tense. Neither Black Hat nor Lita spoke. The only sound was the occasional scraping of forks against their bowls. The demon watched as the woman across from him sat hunched over, stabbing her fork into her salad before crunching on it noisily. He understood the emotion behind this body language all too well.
"You're angry," he said after five full minutes of silence. "Anger is good." Glancing downward, he picked at a cherry tomato. "It motivates you to get the things you want."
Lita brought her fork down hard. "You don't give a flying fuck about what I want!" She glared up at him. "You only think about yourself!"
He met her eyes with a cold stare. "It's what villains do."
"Right." She snorted. "You said that. Well, you know what this villain wants right now?" She sat up so quickly that she knocked her chair over. "Not to eat lunch with you!"
Black Hat dropped his fork as his eye narrowed. "Sit back down."
Ignoring him, Lita grabbed her bowl and headed for the door. Black Hat materialized into her path, his patience wearing thin.
"I said," he growled, the room darkening as he increased his height slightly to tower over her. "Sit. Back. Down."
"Why?" Lita said, boldly glaring up at him. "You wanted me to act more like a villain, didn't you? Well, here I am!" She spread her arms out dramatically. "Thinking about what I want!"
Black Hat bared his teeth, reminding her of their sharpness. But he didn't have to inhale to tell that this did not faze her. She'd been unafraid of his threats for a long time. He'd come to accept that by now.
What angered him was that she was speaking to him so disrespectfully! And after he'd had her visit her father! Why was she acting so ungrateful?!
Gripping his claws into fists was all he could do to stop himself from wringing that pretty little neck of hers!
"You also signed a contract, Miss Ladrona," he said in a warning tone, "swearing to obey my every order! You are still a henchgirl, and no matter what your desires, you must NEVER DEFY YOUR BOSS!"
They stood there for a while, engaged in a heated staring contest. All the while, Lita tried rationalizing her anger. In the car, Black Hat had told her to start thinking about what she wanted. The truth was she had no idea what she wanted! She knew she wanted to be with her father, but at the same time, she didn't think she could go back to that old routine of endless job-searching and trying to make ends meet. She didn't want to be a villain, but now that the cops knew she worked for Black Hat, all chances of following a legitimate career had been thrown out the window.
There was also the matter that as long as Black Hat owned her soul, being a criminal was her only option. As had been demonstrated at the police station, she couldn't go anywhere without this brand. But unlike her boss, her name didn't strike fear into people's hearts. She couldn't take down a whole precinct with very little effort. She worked for the most powerful villain there was, but was still on the lowest rung of the ladder. Just as she'd always been.
"Alright," Lita said after much consideration. "How about a compromise?"
Light returned to the room as Black Hat cocked his head curiously. "Compromise?"
She nodded. "I'm tired of cleaning most of the day, when heists are so infrequent. I…I wanna do more." Placing her free hand on her hip, she firmly said, "And I want you to start paying me. Doesn't have to be much, given that I live here rent-free. Just enough to make me feel like less of a slave and more of an employee."
Fascinated by her request, Black Hat shrank back to normal size. "Is this your way of asking for a promotion?"
She paused to think about it. "Yes. That's exactly what this is."
She waited for him to say no. After all, she'd never been offered a promotion in her life. Not even a raise. But Black Hat gave her a satisfied grin.
"What brought on this sudden ambition?" he asked.
"Well…" She lowered her head. "At the station, if…if you hadn't shown up when you did, I…I would've been screwed. You've…you've kept me under wraps. I've only been in a few commercials and to a couple of meetings. Not enough for the public to know me. And I know I said a thief shouldn't draw attention to herself, but…I want people to know who I am." She met his gaze. "Who I work for."
The demon nodded in understanding. "You want to be feared."
"Respected," she said quickly.
He shrugged. "Same difference."
She shook her head. "I just don't wanna have to wait for you to swoop in next time someone pulls a gun at me. And someone will." Decidedly, she straightened up. "I'm already affiliated with you. Might as well go all in."
If only it were possible for the corners of Black Hat's mouth to go up any further.
"You make a convincing argument," he said, placing his hands behind his back. "Of course, you've taken me completely by surprise with this request. I'll need some time to think about exactly what position to give you."
Lita relaxed under his gaze. "Fair enough."
Having said her peace, she turned and set her bowl back onto the desk. Quietly, she lifted her chair from the floor and sat back down. Black Hat chuckled to himself as he moved around the desk to rejoin her.
Caught you at last, my little villainess. Hook, line, and sinker.
I read on the Villainous Wiki that Black Hat is actually a proficient singer, but his singing can make people go mad.
"5.0.5.'s Secret Fanfic Folder" is another little idea I have. Who'd be up for it?