Short chapter, but that's because the next couple will have a lot more going on!

The title should suggest a few things.

"This is the last time I let you navigate!" Flug shouted back to Dementia as they entered the mansion, the two of them still in their camp attire. "I swear, you're directionally challenged, among other things!

"Wasn't my fault the GPS broke," Dementia said with a shrug. "And we got here, didn't we?"

"You led us through a hurricane!" Flug struggled to bring their luggage in, as his right arm was in a cast. "Can you at least help me with these bags?"

"I dunno," she said, crossing her arms with a humph. "I might be too directionally challenged to carry them!"

Dropping the bags, Flug waved his fist at her. "Why the hell do I put up with you?!"

"Cuz everyone knows I'm the cute one!" she exclaimed, poking his goggles with her fingers. "And you're the dumb one!"

The scientist growled in frustration. "Dementia, I swear, one of these days—"

"FLUUUUUUUUG!"

He turned to see Lita and 5.0.5. running towards him with open arms. It relieved him to see that they had survived the past six weeks alone with Black Hat. Before Flug could warn them about his broken arm, he was swept into a very tight group hug.

"Yes, yes, I've missed you guys too!" he screamed, wincing at the cracking sound. "But you see…my arm!"

"Oh my gosh!" Lita exclaimed as she and the bear broke out of the hug. "What happened?"

"Arts and crafts," he replied dryly.

She cocked her head. "What were you crafting? Pistols?"

He shook his head. "Macaroni collages."

Utterly baffled, she didn't press for any further details.

"What did I say about affectionate gestures?" Black Hat said, popping up behind Flug and giving the poor man a fright.

"M-Morning, s-s-sir!" Flug said with a shaky salute.

"Aw, come on, boss!" Lita said, placing one hand on Flug's shoulder while lowering his good hand. "We haven't seen Flug in ages! Just give us this?"

Black Hat huffed. "If you ask me, it was a lot more peaceful without you two idiots running around and wrecking things."

"Did you miss me, baby?" Dementia asked, leaping towards him with her arms open.

The demon didn't even look at her as he shoved his claw into her face and extended his arm so that she was on the far side of the hall. "That's quite enough of that. Don't you two have work to catch up on after your time off?"

"Time off?" Lita put her hands on her hips. "You sent them to work at your summer camp!"

His eye rolled tiredly towards her. "Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?"

She scoffed. "With you, it's hard to tell."

He shrugged. "Fair enough. You all still have work to do, so change out of those ridiculous outfits and get to it." He grunted as he sauntered away. "Remind me to design new camp uniforms."

Once he was gone, Lita and 5.0.5. picked up Flug's and Dementia's luggage.

"So, how was camp?" Lita asked as they all walked towards the elevator.

Flug grumbled. "The little monsters tied my underwear to the flagpole!"

"That was my idea!" Dementia said proudly. "Such good listeners!"

He leaned towards Lita to whisper, "Could you imagine me dealing with that for six weeks? Took all my willpower not to murder her."

"Sounds like you had fun," Lita said dryly.

"Anyway, how have you been doing? I saw your new outfit in the commercials. You looked so evil!"

"Thanks." She blushed. "The boss bought it for me while we were in Paris."

Dementia's deranged smile dropped. "He…he took you shopping? In Paris?"

Lita shrugged. "He said all my outfits were too 'cutesy' for a villain meeting."

The mutant's eyes narrowed. "He called you cutesy?!"

"P-Pretty sure he meant it sarcastically, Dementia!" Flug said rapidly.

"Yeah, yeah, sarcasm," Lita said. "Just like when he told everyone in Paris we were on our honeymoon."

Now Dementia and Flug looked at her in shock. "WHAT?!"

"Just pretend, of course!" she added quickly. "Undercover and all that!"

Of course, she left out the fact that she and Black Hat had unintentionally shared a bed for one night.

"R-Right," Flug said, shaking his head. "But…he didn't try anything funny, did he?"

The scientist knew his boss wasn't the type, but he was also unpredictable sometimes, and Flug didn't want Lita to be hurt. Especially in that sense.

"Nope," she said, much to his relief. "Perfect gentleman. Or…you know, as gentlemanly as Black Hat can get."

Except that he stayed awake all night watching me sleep while my head was on his shoulder. She left out this detail as well.

"Well, you don't have to worry about being alone with him anymore now that we're back," Flug said as the elevator doors opened.

"Yeah," Dementia said, glaring at the other woman. "So, no more schemes about coming between me and my darling! I'm watching you!"

Using two fingers, she pointed at her eyes and then at Lita.

"Oh, please!" Lita said, rolling her eyes. "Like he'd give a flying—"

She was cut off as everyone tried to squeeze into the elevator at the same time, resulting in Flug having a few possible new injuries to worry about.

"Remind me," he wheezed, "to build a bigger elevator."

"Híjole, I've missed your cooking, Flug!" Lita exclaimed at lunchtime.

"Good thing I've had a lot of practice using my left hand," Flug said, scooping a slice of lasagna onto a plate on a tray. "Just in case something like this happened." He struggled to pick up the tray with one hand. "I'll join you once I've taken this to Black Hat."

"Don't trouble yourself," Lita said, snatching the tray from him. "I'm on my way up there, anyway."

At the table, Dementia's jaw dropped, bits of chewed lasagna spilling from her mouth. Flug was equally surprised when Lita placed her own plate on the tray.

"You're…what?" he asked.

"Boss texted me to have lunch with him," Lita said, a big smile on her face as she grabbed arsenic from the spice rack and sprinkled it onto Black Hat's plate.

Dementia closed her mouth. "He…invited you to lunch?!"

"He texted you?" Flug questioned.

"Mmm-hmm," Lita said, not seeming to notice their confusion. "I know we have a lot to catch up on, but you know, can't defy the boss! But don't worry, I'll see you guys at dinner!"

The two of them stared wide-eyed as Lita picked up the tray and practically skipped out of the kitchen. 5.0.5. was the only one who didn't seem concerned, humming as he sat at the table with his food.

"What is happening here?" Dementia asked after a long period of silence.

"For once, I agree with you, Dementia," Flug said. "Black Hat's actually eating with someone? And texting?! Usually he just pulls us out of nowhere when he wants to see us! And…is it my imagination or did Lita actually seem…excited?" He scratched his head. "What exactly happened while we were gone?"

5.0.5. grunted happily as he took a bite of lasagna.

"They've been having lunch every day now?" Flug said in bewilderment.

"Bao!"

He put his hand to his already covered mouth. "What do you mean they've been doing more than that?!"

"I told you!" Dementia screamed, slamming her fist onto the table. "She's a homewrecker!"

"For the last time, Dementia!" Flug said, facepalming himself. "Black Hat is not into women, men, or anything, with or without a pulse!"

She gestured to the doorway. "Then why's he lunching with her, genius?"

"It's…true." He lowered his good hand. "Black Hat has never invited anyone to lunch before. Unless it was to be lunch. But if that were the case, Lita wouldn't be so eager to…I mean no one's eager to see Black Hat! Except you, but you're in…uh…"

With a hand on her hip, Dementia stood. "Wanna go spy on 'em?"

"Yes, let's."

They bolted out of the kitchen, leaving 5.0.5. with a forkful of lasagna in his mouth. Glancing around, he made a noise, as if to say, "Where did everybody go?"

"What are they doing? What are they doing?" Dementia demanded, peering over Flug's shoulder as she tried to get a view of the live feed on his laptop screen.

"Nothing's happened yet!" Flug exclaimed, scooting to the side to give her room. "She's just bringing the boss his lunch!"

Onscreen was a bird's-eye view of Black Hat's office. Flug and Dementia watched curiously as Lita set a plate of lasagna in front of their employer before sitting across from him at his desk.

"I'm telling you!" Lita said, picking up her plate. "I've missed Flug's killer lasagna!"

Black Hat sniffed the piece of pasta on his fork. "With arsenic in here, it certainly is killer."

"Oh, that was my personal touch. I know how much you like poison."

"So thoughtful," he said, placing a hand over his chest.

Dementia growled. "That dirty little boyfriend stealer!"

"One," Flug said, holding up a finger, "he was never your boyfriend to begin with. Two, unlike you, Lita is a responsible, sensible adult, and there is no way she is insane enough to even so much as touch—WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING?!"

He brought his covered face close to the screen to check that he wasn't imagining things. He wasn't. During their conversation, Lita had reached out and touched Black Hat's hand. The weirdest part was that the demon wasn't pulling away.

"See?!" Dementia said, pointing. "Look at that bitch! She's all over him like the sweat in your pits!"

"Th-That doesn't mean anything!" Flug said, self-consciously covering his pits. "Th-There could be a number of reasons why she's touching his hand! And why he's…letting her." He could feel the sweat coming. "L-Let's just keep listening and get to the bottom of this!"

In the video, Black Hat finally retracted his hand as he grinned toothily at Lita. "By the way, I've been thinking over your request for a promotion, and I believe I know just the position for you."

"Really?" Lita looked excited for a moment before frowning. "Wait. If it's President of the Garbage Department, or something, I'm putting holy water in your next meal."

Black Hat chuckled, which confused the onlookers. Normally, he'd punish someone for such a remark.

"No, no, no." He shook his head. "That role's already been filled by Dementia."

"Hey!" Dementia shouted, while Flug snickered.

"Your skills go beyond the physical, Lita," Black Hat said, standing from his seat. "From what I've seen, you could do well in management. How about…Head of the Sales Department?"

"What did I tell you?" Flug said with relief. "He's not romancing her. He's just promoting her. And she deserves it, after being here for…only…six months."

"It'd be a fitting role for you, don't you think?" Black Hat said, coming around the desk. "You've already proven yourself to be a natural at sales."

"I do have a lot of experience in retail." Lita bit down on the prongs of her fork, as if thinking about it. "Well…what would I have to do?"

He waved his hand as he walked behind her seat. "Answer calls, keep track of the budget, submit daily sales reports, pitch new products, handle shipments…"

Flug's shoulders sagged as Black Hat listed these duties. "But…I do all that."

"What's the catch?" Lita asked, folding her arms.

The demon rested a hand at the head of her chair and peered around at her. "The catch is that these will be added to your current duties. And you will have to wear that uniform I bought you more frequently, given that you'll be attending more meetings and business trips. Do you think you can handle all that extra work?"

She gave him a skeptic look. "Who do I have to kill?"

"No killing necessary," he said, holding up his free hand. "This time."

She nodded. "Yeah, I think I'd be okay with that."

"Excellent!" Black Hat exclaimed, clapping his hands together as he moved to her side. "Now as for that salary you requested, how does five thousand pesos a month sound?"

Lita's jaw dropped. "Five thousand?! That's…that's more than I've ever made at any job!"

"That's," Flug said, his hands clenching, "more than I make."

"Wait," Dementia said, turning to him. "He actually pays you?"

"How do you think I'm able to buy you those phones?"

She shrugged. "Steal 'em?"

He smacked his forehead. "You can't exactly steal an unlimited data plan! Not to mention you have to set up an account and—"

"Shush!" Dementia said, shoving Flug so hard he fell out of his seat. "They're talking again!"

"I…really don't know how to thank you, boss," Lita said.

"Then don't," Black Hat said as he returned to his seat. "It also occurred to me that you should have your own desk, considering you'll be doing a lot more paperwork."

She leaned forward excitedly. "Don't department heads usually get their own office?"

"One step at a time. You could do your work right here."

Snapping his fingers, he made a bare desk half the size of his appear in the corner, right beside the double doors. Lita gasped as a nameplate materialized a second afterward.

"This way," Black Hat said with a smirk, "you won't be cluttering my desk when we're working together."

When Flug stood back up from the floor, Dementia's face was raging red.

"D-Dementia," the scientist said slowly. "C-Calm down. It's not what you—"

"THAT LITTLE BITCH IS OUT TO REPLACE US!"

"She is not—"

"Didn't you hear him, Fluggie?!" she cried, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. "First he has her stealing—which was my thing—now he's got her doing your boring but totally-your-thing paper junk, next thing you know she'll be the one making all the fancy gadgets and MARRYING MY BLACKIE!"

Without even thinking—as Dementia normally does—she snatched Flug's paper bag right off his head and started hyperventilating into it. The scientist cried out as he hastily reached into his lab coat for one of his spare bags, silently cursing that he only had one free hand at the moment. He turned his back to the panicking mutant as he put it on.

"You," he said, swiping the first bag from her with a scowl, "are overreacting."

"You're one to talk!" Dementia barked. "You were the one complaining about how she's taking half your job and getting paid more than you! And how come he doesn't pay me?!"

"You're more a pet than an employee," Flug said dryly, tucking the now crumpled paper bag into his lab coat. "And yes, I will admit. The, um, extra attention Black Hat is giving her lately is…concerning. But it's not our place to question our boss' decisions."

"If you do well in this position, Lita," came Black Hat's voice from the laptop, "who knows? Perhaps one day you'll become my second-in-command."

"Second-in-what-now?!" Flug screeched, his head snapping towards the screen.

"Isn't Flug your second-in-command?" Lita asked.

Black Hat huffed. "You're much more competent. You actually get things done."

The scientist's goggles seemed to crack at that comment.

"Still think I'm overreacting?" Dementia said, gesturing to the computer. "And it's not just my jealousy talking! Even the fucking bear can see that they've gotten chummier since we've been gone!"

Trying not to explode from frustration, Flug took a deep breath. "We…don't know these things for certain. Y-You know how Black Hat is. He likes to manipulate people. This could, uh, be his way of manipulating her! I mean," he forced a laugh, "it took me five fucking years to become Black Hat's second-in-command! First, he shipped me off to that fucking institute of his, then that fucking crime university while she doesn't even have a fucking high school diploma and hasn't killed a single person while I killed four hundred and fifteen people when I was a fucking teen and she's only here for six months and getting paid more than me! What does she even need that money for if I'm the one doing all the shopping?!"

Seeing that he was wheezing for air, Dementia took off his bag and put it to his mouth so he could start hyperventilating. It wasn't until after five breaths that he realized his face was uncovered.

With a shriek, he hastened the bag back on. "Stop doing that!"

Thankfully, he had been facing away from Dementia, so she hadn't seen.

"Stop using a paper bag for a mask!" She placed her hands on her hips. "Anyway, what are we gonna do about this?"

"What do you mean?" Flug asked, smoothing out the wrinkles in his bag.

Putting his arm around him, she whispered, "You wanna be the one to hide the body, or should I just eat the remains?" She giggled wickedly. "Please, please, please, pick the second one!"

"We are not," Flug said, pushing her away, "murdering Lita!"

"Suit yourself," Dementia said with a shrug. "I work better alone, anyway."

"Not so fast." He grabbed the front of her hoodie. "You do realize that killing a fellow employee is strictly forbidden unless Black Hat permits it, right? If you kill Lita, and Black Hat finds out—which he will—your relationship status will be the least of your worries!" He mumbled under his breath. "It's the only reason I haven't killed you yet."

"What do ya want me to do?" Dementia said, gripping his wrist so tight, forcing him to let go. "Let the little tramp trample all over us until we're like those lab rejects you throw out every week?!"

"This was my good hand," Flug grumbled as he struggled to flex his now sore wrist.

"You may be too chicken to try and do anything, but I'm going to make sure things get back to the way they were before that harlot—"

Just then, Black Hat materialized between the two minions, causing them to jump back in shock. What was even more shocking was that Lita appeared with him, clinging to his arm.

"We could've just walked," she said, glaring sideways at the demon.

"Then we wouldn't have gotten to enjoy this," Black Hat said, pointing to Flug as he rushed to slam the laptop closed before they could see what it was open to.

Catching Dementia's narrowed glare, Lita let go of her boss and stepped to the side, only for Black Hat to put his arm around her.

"Lita is our new Head of Sales," the demon said bluntly. "Flug, she will be taking over some of your duties, specifically those concerning money and marketing, so answer any questions she might have." Gently nudging Lita towards the scientist, he whispered, "I certainly hope you won't disappoint me, my dear."

"R-Right," Lita stammered, feeling the uncomfortable stares from both Dementia and Flug.

After magicking her uniform onto her body, Black Hat teleported out of the lab. There was a long, tense period of silence as Lita glanced between her two colleagues.

"Um, so…" Lita bit her lip. "F-Flug, I…I'm supposed to be…budgeting and stuff, but…it's been so long since I've made any complicated calculations like that, so…I was hoping you could…show me how you do it, so I don't make any mistakes?"

Flug's bag unwrinkled, as if his expression underneath were softening. He'd been so busy getting jealous over someone doing better in the organization than him, he had forgotten just who that person was. Lita was a decent person, at least in the sense that she wasn't out to get him like every other villain he'd met. She had been the first one, other than 5.0.5., to treat him like a human being for a long while. And she certainly didn't tease and torment him like Dementia and Black Hat.

The scientist had been thinking about this all wrong. He shouldn't be jealous over Lita taking over half his duties. He should be grateful that he had less work on his hands! And that he'd be collaborating more with a colleague he respected. The pay discrepancy was still a bummer, but he knew talking to Black Hat about it was a lost cause. And for the sake of their friendship, Flug chose not to bring it up with Lita.

Yes, it was surprising that he could actually admit this to himself, but Flug very much considered Lita to be his friend.

"Yeah?" Dementia scoffed, poking Lita in the chest. "Well, Flug's just got one thing to say to you! Don't you, Fluggie?"

After sending the mutant a blank stare, Flug gently led Lita away from her. "So, how much math do you know?"

Dementia's jaw dropped as the other two walked away and began conversing about numbers. Once their voices were out of hearing, she growled furiously.

"Doesn't anyone fucking listen to me in this fucking mansion?!"

As much as I love writing romantic fluff, I was missing my evil bickering siblings.