I cannot even begin to say how sorry I am for taking this long to update. But studies and university became quite a handful and I couldn't help but postpone the updating week by week. But I'm back and hoping to post as often as I am able to. Thank you all for bearing my absence.

Chapter 14

Robert looked up from his book at Cora who was lost in her needle work. He watched her delicate hands gliding gracefully over the silk. He didn't want to disturb her beautiful work but his thoughts were eating away at his mind and he couldn't bear to keep them in any longer.

"Cora?" he called out softly and she looked at him with a questioning look. He never really disturbed her needlework unless it was something extremely urgent.

"I was wondering…" he began after making sure that she was focusing on what he had to say, but he suddenly lost the strength to continue and she urged him on gently with a slight nod of her head and an enthusiastic smile.

"That is… I am quite disturbed that I didn't say anything when Mary… you know… went a bit overboard, so to say," Robert finally voiced out but Cora couldn't quite get his point so she kept on watching him, waiting for an elaboration.

"I mean, Carson, I should have said something. Carson and Mrs Hughes are great friends and it must have hurt him to hear Mary say such things about Mrs Hughes. Of course my dear you would have noticed how much he cares for her. I felt I owed that to Carson. To say something to show that I didn't share Mary's opinion at all and I fear that my silence might have proved otherwise," Robert finished heaving a sigh.

"Well, that is not the first time you've been lost for words. Perhaps it's your mother's abundance of them that have placed you at a minor disadvantage in that aspect," Cora couldn't help but giggle.

"Cora I'm serious!"

"Well, I think Carson knows what is in your heart. You've been employer and employee for years and I might even dare to call you great friends," Cora replied raising an eyebrow.

"You may say that. He did cover up a lot of the scrapes I got into from Mama, when I was young. I would have been skinned alive had she known. But I'm sure if he knows you called him my friend he'll be shocked about the impropriety of all of it," Robert said with a chuckle.

"There you are! He knows who you are at the bottom of your heart. And I know he respects you for it," Cora smiled gently, lighting up a smile on Robert's face.

"Have I ever told you what a wise woman you are my darling?" he asked looking at her adoringly.

"I believe you have but one never gets tired of hearing it," Cora replied with a mischievous smile.

"Wise and cheeky indeed!" Robert laughed.

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Upstairs dinner was finally over and Charles Carson couldn't have been more grateful that the Dowager Countess did not stir up any arguments at the dining table and left straight after dinner back to the Dower House. His feelings were a hurricane today and he really couldn't stand one of those legendary arguments at the Crawley family dinner table. Downstairs dinner was all well except for Mr Watson, His Lordship's valet stirring up conversation about the current politics and not letting him escape the enthusiastic political views. He could barely catch beyond a word or two with Mrs Hughes and once it was all thankfully over some urgent paper work called for him so he decided that tonight he'd just have to catch up with her over a glass of wine very late at night.

But the cyclone of emotions inside him was too much to bear in her presence. He was deeply wounded by Lady Mary's words. He assumed she never actually meant it but nevertheless it hurt him. Mrs Hughes worked so hard for everyone and by that he meant everyone. And she was the kindest person he's ever known and he couldn't help but wonder why Lady Mary considered her just as a servant. But after all she's just a child and children didn't always think twice about what they said or did.

But her words stirred something inside. His shock on hearing Mrs Hughes referred to so crudely, the sudden urge to defend her, made him realise something. He had always like Mrs Hughes. He even dared to think that he loved her. Of course he loved her! How could he pretend otherwise? But isn't that exactly what he did for the sake of both their positions in life and also for the fear of losing her friendship?

Strong feelings had been stirred inside him and he was in quite a quandary. He wanted to see her, talk to her, at least about simple matters in the household and be at peace with her. To watch the light of the lamp flicker across her face and watch the soft shadows play on her face and darken her auburn hair. Watch her blue eyes twinkle in the yellow light as she drew her bottom lip between her teeth when she was trying to stop a giggle. To hear her melodic lilt float across the night air in her sitting room. And sitting with her with a glass of wine or a cup of tea in her sitting room, which had a much more relaxed appearance than his pantry and filled with little intricacies that were part of herself, made him feel at home. At home with her.

But tonight je was afraid of his feelings. He felt over protective of her. To make her happy. To keep her away from the evil of the world. And if he was daring enough to think so, to make her his. He might be butler, specially trained to hold back emotions and never show them, added to which his personal experience of the one serious previous romance. But he was a human above all and when it came to the woman whom he loved with all of his heart, he wasn't sure whether he would be able to confine his emotions to the dark chambers of his mind and his heart. Specially following today's events which had a lasting effect on him. He ached to speak true his heart to her and tonight it was what he feared that he might involuntarily do, if he was not careful.

But love is not written for some people. And he knew it for he knew that with their place in the world it would be beyond him to try. Though feelings ran like a river for her, eroding the depths of his heart, the life he chose made sure that that river never ran free. Its light green waters possibly never able to reach out to her blue sea. Fate wasn't very kind and the last time he was tempted to change it, he ended up a penniless, broken young man walking the streets of a city he didn't know well with the harsh rains of an English summer soaking him to the bone. And like that day, today too he was lost, but in a much different way.

And he looked ahead watching the wall of his pantry where a bookshelf stood but seeing nothing at all and he rose from his chair with a sigh.

To be continued…

Thank you so much for your reviews. Though time doesn't permit me to thank each and every one of you personally I would like to say that I am grateful for all of you for encouraging me. And I'm so sorry for taking too long to update. I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again. Thank you! See you in a new chapter!