Sy
As she colored with Clint's daughter, passing brightly colored crayons across the worn and well used table top, Sy let everything around her filter away into the background. She could hear the distant murmurs of her friends, their whispers, the sounds of their fears and worries and doubts. She felt her heart rate rise while Natasha and Bruce plotted to run away, Clint and Laura fretted over the whole team like worried parents and Tony and Steve fighting again. She heard their subtle accusations, the carefully formulated responses, designed to cut deep. Tears pricked her eyes as she listened to the overly polite verbal war they fought with each other, pushing and pushing until they both shattered into a thousand pieces.
Sy couldn't hold in her stress anymore, her hands shaking, as she heard Steve's strained admission that his temper had always been his weak point, and after the formula, it had become one of his most dangerous and easily triggered flaws. How in his vision, he couldn't help but see that he'd never truly go home from the war. How he never would. Her breathing hitched loudly at Tony's painful confession to his uncertainty in the team's, and his own, ability to protect the earth. That the team isn't enough, because they can hardly get along. How he couldn't trust himself, let alone the rest of them.
"In another world, without Sy, we would never be friends Rogers. That kid is the only reason we can all stand to be in the same room as each other. Because when we all met, she was a teenager, and our fighting got her hurt. So we learned our lesson. But we're a team. Nothing more. Especially without her. And that was the point. Rogers. To end the fight. So we can go home. So that kid that holds us all together, can go home. So that she doesn't have to fight anymore." Sy flinched at the sound of snapping wood.
"You think -" Steve started to snarl back, when Laura interrupted. Sy was shaking, staring down at her half finished drawing, when a small hand landed on her arm.
"Sy? Are you ok? 'Cause you kinda look like Daddy does after the carnival came to town that one time and the music was really loud and there was this weird guy and-" Sy took one long deep breath and smiled down at Lila.
"Yeah, I'm ok. Just had some... funny thoughts. Nothing to worry about ok?"
"Ok." The seven year old chirped, and she immediately launched into a different story about some of her friends from school. Sy forced herself to just focus on the bright stream of nonsensical chatter from the vivacious seven year old, tuning out the various other conversations going on around the house. She just nodded and smiled and asked different questions about her friends, her chores, the pets she wanted.
"I'm going to make Auntie Nat a butterfly." Lila declared to her suddenly. Sy smiled at her, glancing at the little girl's freshly colored in page. There were already several completed crayon drawings scattered around the little girl, and the newest piece of paper had the shaky beginnings of the new picture.
"I'm sure she's going to love it. Can you pass me the yellow?" Lila grinned at her, handing over the yellow crayon before picking up the previous topic; getting her parents to agree to a puppy. Sy lightly colored in the smiling sun she'd doodled onto the construction paper. The team's voices continued in the background, but she kept them in the background, like white noise.
The sound of the front door opening caused Sy to glance up, her hands flinching instinctively towards the currently empty holsters on her side. A familiar set of footsteps creaked along the floor. She launched herself out of her seat towards the door before Fury even got to the kitchen. With a slight grunt, the spymaster caught her, wrapping his arms securely around her body.
"Syrinx." He said, relief coloring his tone.
"Hi Nick." She mumbled into the sweater he was wearing. It was strange to see him out of his usual leather, but it was nice to see him. She'd missed him when she'd woken up in the hospital, her memories nothing more than a colorful blurs in her head, but knowing that in the crowd of familiar strangers, one was missing.
"How are you holding up?" He asked her quietly. She just shrugged, still hugging him tightly.
"Sometimes I almost think it would have been better if I'd never remembered." She whispered, knowing that Fury would have heard the details of her condition and mental state when they pulled her out of Sokovia. Nick squeezed her once more before gently pushing her away.
"But you know better. You'll get through this. You're a tough kid, always were. Would take a whole lot more than Strucker to break you. Although I certainly would have liked to have been the one to shoot him." Sy folded her arms around herself. Tony and the others might have made themselves scarce, but they were all definitely listening. She didn't really want the whole team to know about what she was feeling at the moment, so she deflected instead.
"You're not here for me, are you? Something else has happened. What is it Nick?" She asked, forcefully pushing all her issues away for a later time. Fury fixed her with a knowing look, but he stayed quiet. He always did have a knack for knowing when to push and when to just let her be. It was how he'd gotten her to work for him in the first place. And now, he knows, in the middle of an emergency, he'd be better off helping the mission, than pushing her stability.
"I'm always here for you Syrinx. But no, that's not why I came here today. I thought it was about time I made myself useful again. I'll tell you all about it after dinner. For now, you need to rest." Sy frowned at him. He just shrugged back at her, his expression carefully neutral. Sy knew he wouldn't let her in until she was ok. But Sy wasn't sure that would ever happen.
She shook her head at him, the team melting back into the room. Lila raced back into the room, Laura trailing behind her apologetically, and dragged her back to the table to color. She could feel the smug look on Fury's face burn into her back.
Bastard.