Heyyyyy guys...
So... yeah my bad. I'm so sorry that this takes so long to update. Along with all my other stories. / I'm trying my hardest! I promise!
Dani3434: Haha Thank you! Darcy is very happy to be here!
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Lunar-Eclipse412: He really is. I love him. Thank you so much!
Alright, so I'm not gonna lie, this chapter feels a bit different than the rest. It's just because I keep waiting so long between chapters to write. But I still really do love this chapter and I hope you guys do too!
Sadly, though, this fic will come to a close soon. One, maybe two chapters from now. But it won't be the end of the story. Not by a long shot.
Please enjoy!
So many thoughts whirled around in Darcy's head. He couldn't believe that he was considering this. This was crazy. He was crazy. He couldn't do this. They couldn't do this. They could barely handle themselves, and yet here he was, walking up the steps of his home, a rehearsed conversation playing over and over again in his brain as he fumbled for his keys and stepped through the door.
The smell of fresh vegetables filled the air of the small house and Darcy smiled. He didn't speak as he made his way through the living room, dropping his briefcase and blazer by the couch and making his way to the kitchen. Normally he was never so careless. Everything had its place and purpose when it came to his things. But he simply had too much on his mind to care.
Making his way to the kitchen, the young man sighed in relief. He couldn't help but smile when he saw that someone standing over the stove, making dinner. Without a word, the lawyer walked through, careful but quick as he wrapped his arms around the other young man's waist. "Hey..." he sighed, burying his head against the man's neck and pressing a kiss to it, slowly and lovingly.
"Hey, babe. How was work?"
Darcy didn't answer right away. He just closed his eyes and breathed in his partner for a moment, glancing down to see the ring that was planted on his left finger. "Bill... I did something stupid today..." he stated, feeling the man — Bill — laugh beneath his arms.
"You do something stupid everyday," he responded easily. Darcy rolled his eyes.
"You're the one who agreed to marry me," he accused, spinning the man around for just a quick moment to give him a peck on the lips.
Pulling away, Bill smiled at him."Obviously, I was after your money," he stated with a shrug. Darcy laughed immediately, shaking his head. Bill's family was richer than his. Money had never made a difference to either of them. Not even a little. "One can never have too much money, dearest." The smirk on the man's face only made Darcy fall in love a little bit more every time he caught a glimpse of it.
Playfully rolling his eyes, Darcy stole another kiss before letting his fiancé turn back to continue making dinner. "Says the man who wanted to go backpacking across Europe with no money to help him out if he got lost..." he muttered in reply, quickly ducking out of reach of a spoon swung at him. He laughed, shaking his head as he reached for the tie around his neck and began to loosen in, moving over towards the small island of their kitchen and leaning back against it, letting his body relax even slightly. He knew if he sat down, there would be no getting back up. He couldn't sit down yet.
With a shake of his head, Bill just sent a glare back in his partner's direction. "We're still doing that one day, by the way," he stated firmly, reaching to turn the stove down. Then he turned fully around, leaning up against the counter across from the man he loved so much, crossing his arms over his chest. "So... what stupid thing did you do today?" he asked with a smile playing on his lips.
The other man tensed a bit, not sure if he should tell the truth or make something up really quickly and change the subject entirely. Then again, Darcy never was a very good liar. And he hated to be lied to himself. So, he reached back to scratch at the back of his neck. "Okay... so um... you remember a few nights ago... we we're in bed and you were talking about..." he hesitated.
Maybe he should change the subject. Maybe it would be better to just forget about this. To just move on from it. Because it wasn't logical. It wasn't smart to just do something like this. He'd rehearsed these words over and over again on the ride home. Because he had to be clear, he had to say everything exactly the way he'd planned.
A sort of panic trailed down the man's spine. He couldn't remember a thing he was going to say. "Darce? Are you okay?"
Nodding almost frantically, Darcy forced himself to think about it all over again, to remember the boy sitting alone, isolated in that office, scared out of his mind for whatever was to come next. And Darcy continued, letting the words just fall from his lips. "Do you remember the other night when you were talking about... about maybe... maybe wanting to have kids?" he asked, looking up into his fiancé's eyes to try and gauge his reaction from just that question. "Someday?"
The shorter man's eyebrows raised up a little, curiously. "I remember talking. I remember you pretending to sleep," he lightly scolded, leaning towards him just a bit. "Multiple times," he added.
It was true. The subject scared Darcy to death. Every move he made was carefully calculated. Hell, he'd had the ring that was now resting comfortably on his fiancé's finger for a full year before he was ready to get down on one knee. Thinking about having kids was something they didn't need to think about for a long time.
But then he'd met that kid. "Bill... I was... down at the station today. And I met this... this kid..." His partner, his beautiful fiancé didn't say a word. His eyes only widened a little bit in shock. But he kept his mouth shut. He stood, ready to listen. So Darcy kept talking. "He was sitting all alone in the Chief's office, so I went in to talk to him and... when the Chief got back I asked about his situation-"
That was what got Bill's attention. Not that he hadn't been listening, just that this had not been what he was expecting. "Wait, what?" he cut in, pushing himself up so that he was standing taller in front of the other man. "You met one kid and now you want to... what? Take him in?"
"It wasn't my intention! But... you would've done the same thing, and you know it!" Darcy argued. He knew Bill would've. Bill wouldn't have waited as long either. He would've seen that little boy and it would've wanted to scoop him up and make him soup immediately. "His situation is complicated and he needs a place to go, and I know you and I know that you would love this kid and yes he's troubled and yes-"
"Okay. Okay! Okay," Bill caved, raising up his hands in a sign of surrender. "I'm not saying you're wrong. But let's not forget that you met him in a police station. Obviously he had to do something to be in there," he mused. "So... what'd he do?"
Opening his mouth to respond, Darcy opted against it, remembering the words that had come out of the kid's mouth. He shouldn't lead with that. "Can I tell you about him first?" he asked hopefully. But that only seemed to make Bill more anxious. "Listen, he's a good kid. I talked with him for a while. He loves to read. He's smart. He likes art and told me that he wants to learn how to cook. And, the kid has never seen so many movies that I know you'd want to show him-"
"Darcy! What did he do?" Bill asked again, slowly and calmly, reaching to place his hands on his love's shoulders, trying to tell him to slow down. "C'mon, normally you're off ranting about things that I can hardly keep up with. This kinda thing is supposed to be my territory. So... what did he do?" His voice was gentle, just like it always was.
Taking a breath, Darcy lowered his head, trying to figure out how to word this. He knew it was a long shot. He knew it was. But there was just something about this kid... something so good about him. Darcy wanted to help him. "He... sort of... he sort of shot someone..." he finally forced out, scratching at the back of his neck, knowing it was pointless to try and skirt around that little detail.
At that point, Bill didn't know weather he was supposed to laugh or be worried out of his mind. Shooting someone was kind of a big deal. He knew that his fiancé tended to overlook things like that. After all, he was a lawyer. People shot people for all kinds of reasons, but to defend their morals and to invite someone like that into their home were two completely different things. "Darce-"
"He's fourteen. He shot his foster father who was beating on his older brother. He saved the kid's life, Bill... I saw pictures. It was bad... really bad..." Darcy explained, quietly. And right when his partner tried to argue, he pulled out his phone and opened it, turning it so that the shorter man could see the screen.
There were three boys. They looked happy. They practically clung to each other. The tallest of them was looking down at the two blonds held close to his chest with such a love in his eyes it made Bill's heart melt immediately. "Oh, c'mon... why do you have to show me that?" he whined, taking the phone immediately, and staring down at those precious kids.
A small smile spread on Darcy's lips. "Chris is the youngest... then there's Anthony and Jack, but they wouldn't be staying with us... if we agree to take him in... you know... if... if you want to..." he added quickly. Bill looked up at him with such a desperate twinkle in his eyes. "Look... I know when you were talking about kids... this is not what you had in mind and you certainly did not meant it this soon... but we could do so much good for this kid and I know you and I know that you want to help him, but this is a big decision so I want you to take a little time to think about how much this would change-"
"You know I can't say no! What the hell, Darcy? Why are you like this?!" Bill cried out dramatically, looking back down at the picture and letting his thumb hover over it.
But all Darcy could do was laugh. "Okay, well I mean we are getting married... so there's that to think about. Stress levels are already going to be high. But... you should meet him," he decided, reaching up to caress his lover's cheek even as he continued staring down at the photo that he'd gotten earlier that day. "They're close with the Chief. He told me if we wanted we could go down to the hospital tomorrow to meet all three of the boys... and we could decide for sure then. We don't have to if you don't want to..."
At that, Bill actually glared up at the taller man. "You are an asshole," he stated, hardly able to keep himself from looking down at those poor children again.
He was already in love with them. And Darcy couldn't help but fall even further in love with him. "I'm going to go ahead and take that as a yes," he sighed, simply watching the other man.
They were really doing this.
Holding onto them was all he could do. Cling to them, more like. Make sure that this time, he held tighter. Tighter than he ever had before. It was all he could do.
The apartment was small. There was no small thing special about it. It was just another home. Not a real home, of course. No. Home was supposed to be safe. Home was supposed to be where he wanted to be all the time. No. This was just another place. Another place for someone to pretend. To use them. To exploit them. To make them feel like mere objects. But it would have to do. Because he couldn't lose them.
They were all he'd ever had.
Three little boys. That's all they were. He knew that. He knew he was small. He knew he was weak. He knew he was scared. But he couldn't be. Not while they were here. Because they depended on him. They needed him to keep them safe; to do anything and everything he could to keep them together and alive. He'd seen things. Things too much for his young mind to handle. Things that would scar him and impact every move he made for the rest of his life. Things that he could never unsee.
He clung to them. Tighter than he ever had before. Because they were what he had. All he'd ever had. And this? This small, dark apartment was the only chance they had left.
One slip up and it was over.
"What the hell is this, Ian?"
The voice was harsh and loud and his baby brother whimpered against him. The littlest one. He didn't like the noise. Not anymore.
"You said one. One kid and this would go away."
Holding onto them was all he could do. Arms circled around his waist and a head snuggled into his shoulder. He tried to tune out the words. If he couldn't hear them, if he ignored them, maybe they'd stop. Maybe they wouldn't try to tear them apart again. Because he couldn't do it. Not again.
The apartment could work. They could survive here. Maybe it would be hard. Maybe it would be rough. But he'd make sure it could work. For them, he'd make it work.
There were little trinkets everywhere. Glass. Things he knew would get him in trouble if he ever tried to touch them. Things he'd have to keep them away from. They were just little kids. That's all they were. But they didn't have the luxury of warnings. One slip up, and hell would break loose. It would be their fault. Because they were supposed to be perfect angels. They were supposed to be mature and grown up and perfect little foster kids even though they had no one. No one to teach them right from wrong, good from bad or real from fake. They had to learn that all on their own. They had to learn things that no child should have to learn before they were old enough. They were just kids. Yet, they were held to bizarre expectations and standards. Like they knew better.
The glass was hardly touched by the light. He let his eyes wander around the colorful marks they made on the ceiling with the small amount of sunshine allowed in through the closed curtains. It wasn't much. But it was enough to make some beautiful kind of art across the room. Though, it was so small and easily overlooked, it was the only thing that was enough to let him tune out the arguing grownups. The ones who thought they knew it all. The ones who thought they had it all together.
They didn't. No one truly did.
He watched the small, colorful lights dance around on the ceiling as the grownups kept arguing. They seemed to be distressed and angry and all he could do was cling to his little brother and watch the small lights. He wasn't sure why they were so fascinating. Maybe it was because the glass elephant that they came from was so small and so fragile. Maybe it was because the light made his chest feel a little less clenched. Maybe it was because it was something to distract him. He didn't know. He didn't care. He just let himself watch them.
Someone sniffled at his side. His little brother. Not the baby. But still little to him. He tore his gaze away to look down at them. Two blond little boy's curled up on either side of him, waiting for the bad to come and take them again. Waiting for the hurt that he couldn't stop. He tightened his grasp. He took a steady breath.
"I got you..." he swore, just loud enough for them to hear him. The adults were still talking. Yelling. Angry at each other.
If there was anything he'd learned in his young life, it was that anger was what was always somehow turned on him. It was always taken out on him. Because he somehow wasn't good enough. Because somehow, standing up for himself was talking back. Somehow a single mistake was a deliberate attack. It always resulted in some kind of smack. Some kind of threat. Something to scare him.
But he couldn't be scared right now. Not while they were here. So he clung to the only two things in the world he had. The only two kids in the world he'd ever had and quite possibly might ever have. He was alone in protecting them. No one else would. No one else typically gave them a second glance. But he'd protect them.
This apartment would have to do. Because it was what they were being given. And this was their last chance.
One slip up and it was over.
The apartment was dark and cold and dirty and more empty than it had ever felt before. It hadn't been touched in two weeks. Jack Kelly stood there, a scowl on his face as he took it in. He tried not to look down. Not to see the blood than stained the carpet and the walls. Not to imagine how hard Race fought to get away from their foster father when he went at him. He tried to breathe. But the air seemed toxic. And all he wanted was out.
There were people behind him. Waiting for him to move. To let him in. To just suck it up and move forward. He couldn't. He felt frozen, unsure of why he felt so bitter and angry that this was the last time he'd ever step inside this apartment. Unsure of why it was bothering him so much.
He hated this apartment. Hated the memories that came with it. He hated the way it made him fear for his life. He hated the way all he'd ever remember when he thought about it was his brothers crying and screaming. He hated this place.
But once they left, that's when the change was coming. And he wasn't ready for that.
"Kelly..." a voice whispered behind him. Jack only vaguely recognized it as May. He let his eyes wander around the place for a moment more. He took in the darkened dump before he hesitantly took a step inside.
Glass broke beneath his shoes, shattering even more than it had already beneath his weight. Jack only sniffled a little bit before he forced himself forward again, slowly but surely making his way inside.
A herd of people began to trail in after him. And somehow, Jack still felt alone.
"Jesus, this is the place?" someone whispered in disbelief. Jack couldn't turn around. He couldn't look at the people that were there with him. His brothers both limped up to either side of him. Race with one crutch and an arm cast and Crutchie with just his crutch. The rest of the folks behind him were... well, just there to make sure Jack didn't try to make some kind of run for it. Not that he could. He couldn't drive. Now had two little brothers who couldn't physically run. But he supposed they were right to be there.
Because he wanted away with the only two people he'd ever had.
There were five adults behind them. Two they knew and three that were strangers. May and Medda, Kloppman, and Darcy and his fiancé. They had a plan. But Jack wasn't ready.
"C'mon, babies... let's go get your things..." Medda coaxed.
Their things. It was almost funny. They hardly had things to get. It was mostly just clothes. Maybe a few books that Crutchie had managed to hide. But other than that, there wasn't much. But they had their backpacks. The same ones that May bought them for their first day of school. It was all they had.
The second they made it to their room, the reality of the situation seemed to hit his brothers full force. Race froze completely while Crutchie hesitated by the bed. The only two that followed them in were Medda and Kloppman.
Crutchie sniffled. He didn't know what to say. All he could do was sigh and collapse back on the bed behind him. Their bed. The one he'd shared with his brothers for the past four years. The one that Jack always held them in. The one that Race passed out in most nights. The one where they were always together.
The old man in the room walked over to the single dresser that was up against the wall. An empty bottle of concealer was still left, disregarded on top. Other than that, there wasn't a single decoration. Not in the entire room. Just a bed and a dresser. Beginning to open the thing up, he found there was little clothes that they had to wear. Most everything were sweats. Baggy clothes to hide scars and bruises, no doubt.
He turned back around to try and say something as he saw Race leaning his crutch up against the wall. Before he could even try to warn him against it, Jack was rushing over. "Racer, ya can't-"
"I'm fine, Kelly," the boy insisted. Jack flinched a little at the tone, but quickly moved in anyways to carry some of his brother's weight.
"Calm down, kid... c'mon..." he soothed, leading his brother down to the bed, next to Crutchie. Then he leaned down to press a quick kiss to both of their heads before resting his cheek on Crutchie's hair. "I gotcha..." he swore. "It's gonna be okay..."
A sniffle made its way to Jack's ears. "I wanna go ta Santa Fe..." the littlest boy in the room whimpered. "I thought we was gonna go ta Santa Fe..." The boy was beginning to break. Again. As if they hadn't cried enough in the last couple of weeks. With Race completely bedridden. Crutchie being questioned over and over again, asked to describe what happened in explicit detail. They'd been told what was going to happen to them. They'd been told that this was going to happen.
That they were going to be separated.
"I know, Chris..." Jack whispered, running a hand over his hair and sitting down next to him. "I know..." It broke his heart. Santa Fe had never felt further from him. He still couldn't help but wish he could just scoop them up and take them there. Out west. As far away from here as they could get. But he couldn't.
Curiously, as Kloppman took some of the clothes out, and began to unzip all three of the backpacks in his hands, he looked up, just as Medda began to fold the clothes from the drawers and place them in neat piles on top of the dresser. "What's in Santa Fe?" he asked quietly, not quite understanding. At the very least, he knew the kids wanted to get away. He knew this is not what they wanted. He knew they still didn't fully trust him, or any of them. Expect, maybe Medda.
But the question seemed to float around in the room for a moment, like what was there was almost too precious to talk about. Kloppman watched as the boys seemed to lean closer to each other. But finally, Race spoke up. "Our mamma w's from Santa Fe..." he stated, his voice only barely audible. "She's said... she said she was gonna take us... afta' she got the money... n' we was gonna ride the horses n'-"
"N' ride into the hills on a palomino, bareback and wild, huh?" Medda smiled, glancing back at her boys and offering a quick wink.
Curling up even further into Jack's side Crutchie nodded, allowing his big brother to maneuver him so he was laying with his head in his lap. Race just reached out to massage his leg. "Mamma had a horse when she was younger. She n' Medda used ta ride him everyday..." he recited, the story making him smile, despite the situation. "His name was Beau."
Though Crutchie had been young when they'd lost their mother, that story always remained with him. Not to mention he had Jack and Race to tell him all of their mamma's adventures from her childhood. Back when she'd been innocent, she'd used to say.
With a small laugh, Medda nodded. "Yeah... we used ta ride all the horses back in Santa Fe. We didn't care who was callin' us 'r tellin' is ta get on inside, we just rode... sometimes all night," she recalled, allowing herself to cherish the memory of her best friend for just a moment before turning around to her boys. There were sad smiles on their faces. She knew this was hard for them. This might be one of the hardest things they'd ever had to do. It was hard for her too. But they weren't being torn apart. Not like before. Not at all like before. "Ya know what else your mamma loved ta do?" she asked, taking a few steps closer to her boys. Before anyone could stop her, she squeezed at Jack's sides, causing him to gasp and jerk backwards, though a smile spread over his face. And Medda didn't stop there. She grinned as she tickled him relentlessly, causing him to burst into a fit of giggles. "She loved makin' you laugh," she yelled as he writhed around on the bed, careful not to hit either of his brothers. He tried escaping her fingers, but she was too quick. And his brothers turned on him immediately.
Race crawled over to grab Jack's arms and Crutchie simply sat and laughed at him. "What the hell?" Jack laughed, tears coming to his eyes as he giggled and tried to gasp for air.
The fit of laughter seemed to get everyone's attention. The three men from the other room wandered into the smaller space, watching with small smiles as the oldest of the three brothers laughed, actually laughed. None of them were sure they'd heard it before. Jack laughing. Just laughing. And his brothers laughing right along with him.
"H-hey! Stop it!" he wheezed out, rolling over somehow and tackling his brother on the bed. Race yelped. Jack's heart dropped for a moment as he thought he'd hurt the boy. But Race just started laughing. So the older kid straddled his hips, reaching down to tickle his little brother just as Medda has tickled him. And when Crutchie started laughing even harder, Jack turned on him too. "You little traitors!" he accused with a grin, letting his fingers travel around their torsos, knowing exactly where their weak spots were.
For a while, they continued on, laughing and giggling on their bed, relishing in the moments they had together. And, when Jack got tired, all three of them collapsed back onto the mattress, breathing hard and letting their giggles trail off. Every adult in the room watched them, their hearts lightening just a bit when they saw the boys having a good time together. Forgetting for just a split second what was about to happen.
And then that moment ended.
None of the adults wanted to do this. They were all so hesitant to speak. It was heartbreaking what they had to do next. Race and Crutchie looked up to Jack. Too much. They hated to admit that that was dangerous. That Jack was only a kid and that they needed stable, hardworking adults to teach them right from wrong. They hated what had to happen next.
May was the bravest of them all. The one who cleared his throat. "Boys... We should get going..." he urged, watching as the backpacks were zipped up.
It was immediate, the way Jack held onto his brothers tighter. The way the laughter dissolved. The way the boys began to panic.
Jack sat up slowly. Crutchie was curled up, his head in the older boy's lap. Race was curled up with his head above his big brother's hip. He looked helplessly up at the adults in the room. And then his eyes travelled back down to the kids in his lap. His brothers. All he'd ever had.
There was nowhere they could go. This was the best they could get.
So, with a heavy sigh and one more kiss to each of his brother's heads, Jack looked back up at the five adults.
And he gave in.
It was a compromise they could all live with.
Hopefully.
Alright friends, I really hope you all enjoyed that chapter! I know it's a bit on the shorter side, but unfortunately, it had to stop somewhere.
As always, thanks for reading! Make sure to tell me what you liked, what you didn't, what you'd change or what you'd improve by leaving me a review! Love ya, friends!