"Happy Birthday, Harry!"
"Gwen!" Harry Potter went over to hug her and he gripped her rather tightly. They broke the hug and Gwen held his hands and looked him over, smiling. He seemed thinner and paler.
"You've cut your hair!" He noticed.
"I nearly forgot about that," Gwen laughed. She handed him a bag with tiny little broomsticks on it. "Open it later," she whispered mischievously. "Everyone will be upset they didn't get you the best present." Harry grinned.
"Thank you. You didn't have to." She waved it off.
"How are you? How was your summer?" She asked as they walked over to the sitting room, away from everyone else eating Snitch birthday cake in the kitchen. Gwen remembered her assignment of counseling Harry and felt guilty. She would have done it anyway, even if she didn't have to.
"It was… alright." She raised an eyebrow.
"Harry, you don't have to pretend with me. It was a difficult summer for us all." He sighed.
"I can't stop thinking about Sirius. I can't help feeling guilty…"He faded off and Gwen took his hands again.
"I felt guilty too. But… then I realized that it won't bring him back." She felt a lump in her throat. "I miss him too, Harry, but he wouldn't want you or me or anyone to be miserable." She forced a smile.
"I know you're right," Harry admitted. "I just feel awful. It's hard to get better."
"It takes time. Sometimes longer than we expect…" She faded off.
"Well, what have you been up to this summer?" He asked. Great. He was doing a better job at making them feel better than she was.
"Working a lot, writing a lot, planning to move," she said with a shrug. "Nothing very interesting, just boring adult stuff."
"Moving? You won't be in Hogsmeade anymore?"
"I'm scheduled to move to the London Prophet office by next year," she explained. "I've always wanted to live in London so this is the perfect excuse to finally do it." He nodded slowly, seeming slightly concerned. "Don't worry. I'll still be around the village. And if you ever want to meet in Hogsmeade, I'm only an owl away." He gave a reluctant smile. "Come! It's your birthday! You've got a whole month left before term starts and a party in the kitchen. I want to taste some of that Snitch cake Mrs. Weasley said she was making." Harry led her into the kitchen, where the gathering was. Mrs. Weasley quickly ran up to her and embraced her and had her sit by Hermione. It was a small affair. Ron, Ginny, and Arthur were there- of course. Fleur and Bill were talking to Remus.
Seeing Bill gave her a lump in her throat. She had thought that his relationship with Fleur would be temporary. But engagement…
She pushed the thoughts away. It was Harry's birthday, for Merlin's sakes! This wasn't about her!
"How have you been, Gwen?" Hermione asked as Mrs. Weasley gave Gwen a piece of delicious looking Snitch cake.
"I'm well," she said, eating her cake. Hermione was a nice girl. Perhaps… too nice. But she was a lovely, bright, and brave girl and while Gwen found her rather dull, Hermione reminded her of herself at that age.
"I've seen your articles in the Prophet," Hermione said. "They're the most truthful of them all, I think. And very well written."
"Even though we all know the Prophet is a rag," Ron muttered.
"Ron, you're so rude!" Hermione snapped.
"Don't worry, I know it belongs in the bin," Gwen said, sipping her tea.
"It's become a bit more reliable as of late, I believe," Remus said matter-of-factly. "No doubt, thanks to you, Gwendolyn."
"Thank you, Remus," she beamed. "Mrs. Weasley, that cake was fantastic!" Mrs. Weasley took her dirty dish and Gwen turned back to Remus. "Where's Tonks? I haven't seen her in awhile."
Remus's face turned dark suddenly and he seemed rather awkward.
"She's, er, not feeling too well tonight. Wasn't up to coming." Bill said suddenly and Gwen looked over at him. It was the first time he had spoken to her all summer. They locked eyes for a moment before Gwen quickly looked away.
"That's unfortunate," she said quietly. Ginny seemed to notice the tension in the room, so she changed the conversation.
"So I take my OWLs this year," she informed them.
"You have to start studying now, Ginny!" Hermione reprimanded. "You need a study plan- I can help you, if you'd like."
"Bloody hell, Hermione-"
"Ron!" his mother snapped.
"Sorry, mum. Hermione, term hasn't even started yet!"
"What classes are you taking this year, Harry?" Gwen asked, noticing the boy had been unusually quiet.
"Defense, Charms, Herbology, and Transfiguration," Harry said.
"Not enough, Harry," Hermione tutted.
"I was awful at Herbology," Gwen said with a smirk. "Hated that class."
"I don't mind any class, as long as I don't have to be in Potions." Harry said, sounding absolutely exasperated and Gwen grinned at Remus. She remembered what Snape had said about teaching Defense this year. Obviously, Harry had no clue. He was certainly in for a surprise this year.
"Merlin, I hated Potions," Ron said, sounding relieved that he would no longer have to take it.
"You really hate Snape, huh?" Bill said, grinning. Gwen remembered how much the two of them dreaded going to Snape's class.
"I can't stand him!" Ron exclaimed.
"At least you can drop his class," Ginny moaned. "I'm stuck there for another year."
"Well, you'd have done well to keep taking Potions," Hermione said. "It's an important class, Harry, especially for future Aurors."
"I was going to, but I couldn't. My OWL wasn't high enough."
"I took Potions all seven years," Gwen said, remembering how much work NEWT level Potions were. She was ready to complain about it, but then remembered that she should encourage Ginny to take it even when it wasn't required. "It wasn't so bad."
"Were you a Slytherin?" Ron asked, sounding shocked.
"No, I was a Gryffindor."
"Did Snape like you?"
"No."
"Then you're lying."
"Ron, you're being so rude!"
"Oh shut it, Hermione!" The two started fighting rather loudly and Gwen mentally sighed. Some party this had turned out to be.
The kids eventually went upstairs and Gwen felt a need to see Tonks and bring her some cake. She bid everyone farewell, then Apparated in front of her friend's flat. She rang the bell and waited. She felt a bit rude appearing unannounced, but the way everyone had seemed so… uneasy when her name was mentioned had made Gwen curious.
Finally, the door opened and there was Tonks. Gwen gasped.
"Tonks… your hair is… brown!"
"Come in, Gwennie," Tonks said softly, her eyes looking slightly red. Gwen entered Tonks's flat. The lights were all off and the telly was on. There was a carton of Chinese food on a table in front of a couch and Tonks motioned for Gwen to sit down.
"I brought you cake," Gwen said awkwardly, placing it on the table.
"Thanks," Tonks muttered with a sniffle.
"You must be really sick," Gwen noted, seeing a bunch of used tissues on the floor. Something seemed off…
Tonks picked up the remote and muted the telly. "I'm not sick."
"Then what's the matter? Everyone acted so oddly when I inquired after you."
Tonks grabbed a tissue from a box on the couch and blew her nose. She crumpled it up and tossed it on the floor. She then sighed.
"Remus… Remus and I broke up last week." Tonks's eyes began to water.
"What… why? I thought you were getting along!"
"We were," she said softly, a tear streaming down her face. "But then he started talking about how he's leaving to live among the werewolves as a spy and how he's dangerous and poor and we had an awful fight and-"
"Tonks, relax, please!" Gwen begged as her friend burst into tears and fell into her arms. She held her tightly and felt water seeping into her blouse. "Oh, darling…" Tonks sat up, wiping her face vigorously.
"Don't tell the children," she said softly. "I'm so embarrassed."
"I won't," Gwen promised.
"After we broke up, I started realizing that Sirius was dead and how bad this war is getting," she whispered, sounding nearly frightened. "And I've been so miserable I can't even morph!"
"How do you fix that?"
"I don't know." She grabbed another tissue and started dabbing her face. She tossed it down and looked at Gwen. "Thank you for coming to see me."
Gwen smiled sadly at her best friend. "Tonks, you did the same for me, remember? And I've survived. You will too. I promise."
"I know," Tonks said, her voice cracking. The tears started to flow again. "It's just so hard!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
One month later, the Hogwarts Express rolled into Hogsmeade station after a long voyage. The train doors opened and Gwen rushed out onto the platform, looking frazzled. Tonks, brown-haired still, approached her immediately. "Are you alright?" Tonks asked.
"Can you check the train for me when the kids get off?" Gwen whispered, almost shaking. "I have to go." Before Tonks could answer, Gwen rushed away into the village. The autumn wind whisked her short locks into her face as she hurried through Hogsmeade to her flat.
She burst into her home and threw herself on the couch and began to cry. Damn you, Dumbledore!
It had been a disaster! Absolutely horrible! Dumbledore had been so wrong to have her paired with Bill on an assignment.
It began a tad bit awkwardly. Pacing the corridor together, breaking up little fights. Making small talk about the weather and about how the train hadn't changed.
Then Bill apologized for his displays of affection towards Fleur in front of her. She brushed it off, as though it had not mattered to her. It didn't bother her anymore, she had said. In fact, she had seen other people since New Year's. Bill seemed genuinely happy for her. And since she no longer cared for him, he felt no guilt in talking about Fleur.
And that was what he did for the rest of the trip. Fleur was the love of his life, he had said. They were in the process of planning their wedding- it was going to be fantastic. Everyone in the Order was invited. Gwen should get to know Fleur better- they would most definitely get along.
Gwen smiled and nodded and laughed and repeated. But inside she was dying- he was taking her already wounded heart and shredding it painfully, bit by bit. By the time they had arrived, she was about to burst, so without as much as a goodbye, she dashed off the train.
She sobbed hours' worth of emotional agony into a couch pillow. The clock struck 9 and Gwen remembered today was the day that she began lessons with Snape. The thought made her want to lock herself in her room and never come out again. But if she missed or was even late to her lesson, he would never help her again. Her eyes were puffy and red and her face was soggy from the tears. She washed her face viciously, trying to remove any hint that she had been crying. Snape would know exactly what was wrong if he noticed.
She was preparing dinner, when the doorbell rang. Since she wasn't expecting visitors, she grabbed her wand and cautiously approached the door.
"Who is it?" she asked loudly, trying to sound as threatening as possible.
"Tonks," replied a miserable sounding voice.
"What's your favorite animal?"
"A chameleon. What was your father keen to name you?"
Gwen opened the door. "Bridgette. I didn't know you were coming. I was just making some chicken."
"I feel like shit," Tonks muttered as she flopped down on Gwen's couch. Gwen glanced at her Defense book on the counter. She ought to review some material before leaving…
"Why? Do you want anything to drink? I have Bing and the tea's on."
"No thanks." She got up and kicked Gwen's coffee table. "I hate Snape!" she shouted.
"Don't take your anger out on my table," Gwen sighed, pouring herself some of the orange fizzy drink. "What did he do now?"
"He called my Patronus weak!" she shouted, tears streaming down her face.
"Why?" Gwen asked, her head beginning to ache. She wasn't in the mood for this- she had her own problems and nobody seemed to realize that. She gulped down her Bing and tossed the glass in the sink.
"Because it changed to a wolf," Tonks whined. "He saw it today. Harry was left on the train so I sent a message up to the school so someone would fetch him and of course it had to be Snape!" She sounded bitter.
"Why do you hate him so much?" Gwen asked, stuffing chicken into her mouth despite not really being hungry. "He's a git, but who cares?" Her friend was being rather sensitive over something so small.
Tonks sighed, running her hands through her hair. "He's fine. I trust him and all, but he's not nice. He just always has to be so nasty." She wiped away her tears and walked over to Gwen, grabbing a piece of chicken and popping it in her mouth, to Gwen's disdain. "My Patronus changed because… well, I love Remus. I hadn't cast a Patronus since before I fell in love with him."
"Oh Tonks," Gwen sighed, getting the tea.
"Can I have some tea?" Gwen started to make them two cups as Tonks blabbed on and on about Remus. He had just joined the werewolves as a spy. It was scary and Gwen missed his company, but she had faith that Remus would stand his ground quite well.
The two drank tea while Tonks kept talking, occasionally tearing a bit, while Gwen blankly nodded and murmured things that sounded like they made sense. Her head was pounding and her heart was aching and all she wanted was to sleep.
"Tonks," Gwen said suddenly. "I've got to go. I'm supposed to be somewhere in half an hour."
"Oh," the girl said softly, sounding sad. Gwen put the teacups in the sink and threw on her cloak and put on her shoes. She was immensely glad that Tonks didn't ask where she was going.
They said their goodbyes and Tonks Apparated away, while Gwen trekked on to the castle.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"I don't believe I ever discovered the grades you received on your Defense OWL and NEWT," Snape said, sitting across the desk from her.
"Es on both."
"Could have been better. I would like to believe that you have reviewed some basic spells before coming here tonight."
"I would have," she muttered. "If you hadn't made Tonks cry."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"
"She got so distraught because you told her that her Patronus is weak. She came crying to me when I was about to study."
"Well," he stood up, walking to the door of his office. "It isn't my fault she has allowed her broken heart to weaken her. She will get herself killed in this war if nobody tells her that she is being weak."
"There are nicer ways to say such things!" she countered. "Really, Snape, it just made her worse."
"I'm sure she will make a full recovery," he said nastily, opening the door.
"Where are you going?"
"We're going to my chambers. I have some rather delicate objects in my office that risk being damaged if I teach you in here."
They went down the damp and dark hallway to where his chambers were. It was a sitting room with a door on the opposite wall which she imagined led to his bedroom. It was dark, covered in bookshelves. There was a sofa in the middle of the room and a few coffee tables. He waved his wand and the couch and tables moved to the corners of the room.
"Now. At the Department of Mysteries, what approach were you using?" He asked, his back to her as he was looking for a book on the shelf.
"Er… well, I used a lot of Shield Charms." He sighed rather loudly and turned back to look at her, book in hand.
"Since you obviously need refreshing," he said, his disdain for her lack of knowledge very evident in his voice. "You are to read this before our next lesson. If you don't… well, then I suppose I'll know how much you want to improve." He put the book on the table, then turned to face her.
"If you listen to what I tell you and do what I ask, I guarantee that you can stand your ground in any battle or duel you participate in," Snape continued. "The Death Eaters are not particularly clever people nor especially skilled. There are few, however, who could kill you very easily if you do not know what you are doing. So right now, we're going to duel."
"What? I thought you were going to teach me!" Her eyes widened.
"And how on earth can I teach you if I have no idea where to start?" He said, sounding exasperated. She suddenly became extremely nervous and he seemed to notice. "I won't hurt you." He said, his voice slightly softer than usual. "I only need to see how you react to being attacked. So take out your wand, Gwendolyn."
She took out her wand and grasped it tightly in her hand. He flicked his so subtly that she almost didn't realize the spell shooting towards her. She dodged it quickly and he did it again.
"Protego!" she shouted, but Snape sent another spell and she dodged it again and was about to send a stunner when he sent another one and it hit her, disarming her and sending her to the floor.
She was breathing heavily and still shaking slightly. He walked over and offered her his hand. She accepted it. "Since when have you been a gentleman?" she asked harshly, as he helped her up.
"No need to be rude," he countered, handing back her wand. "It might surprise you to know that dodging spells is not always the best tactic."
"Really?" she said, sarcastically. "I had no idea."
"My, my, someone is upset." He gestured for her to sit on the couch in the corner and he stood by her. "If you work hard, you will succeed," he assured her and she looked at him skeptically. "To be a successful duelist, you must be quick, subtle, expect everything, and deliver the unexpected. We will work on those four things in that order. Read the book, Gwendolyn. You will find there are much more useful spells than the Shielding Charm."
"Even if I learn stronger spells, I still always end up getting hit," she said. She was discouraged. She wanted to improve immediately.
"You reacted too slowly to my spells," he explained. "When you cast the Shielding Charm, I knew exactly what you were going to do."
"Because I said it," she muttered, feeling rather disappointed in herself.
"And because you moved your wand in a manner that allowed me to know. You also had no idea what I was going to throw at you and you weren't ready for it. Learn more spells and study the ones you know until you can recognize the wand movements for them instantly. Practice casting them silently."
She stood up suddenly and looked at him intensely. She didn't know what she was looking for in those black eyes, but she kept searching. "What are you looking for?" he asked quietly.
"I don't know," she whispered. She grabbed him suddenly and kissed him hard. He reciprocated, but after a while pulled away.
"So I must conclude that whatever happened with you and Bill Weasley on the train this evening was not in your favor," he said with a sneer. She said nothing but kissed him again. "Well," he said, nearly smirking. "It certainly was in mine."
She stayed the night.