A/N: Hey all! Sorry for my varying updates lately. It's dumb. I know.

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"You have got to be kidding me!" Sasazuka shouted at his computer screen. He was so tempted to just smash the whole thing on the floor. "Stupid fucking quarantine! How are there no apartments available?! There are so many abandoned buildings!" Muttering every expletive that came to mind, he pushed himself away from his makeshift desk. "How long am I going to have to sleep on a goddamned couch?!"

"What's wrong this time, Takeru?" Shiraishi nonchalantly inquired, stepping into the living room. "Is something wrong with my couch?"

"Is something wrong with your….Can you not see that literally everything is wrong?! How are you the most fucking dense profiler that I have ever had the displeasure of meeting?! It's like you're from an entirely different planet! Why are you the strangest fucking person in Shinjuku?!" He closed his mouth for fear of not being able to stop once he truly started going. His mind would eventually stop thinking up witty insults, but until then, he decided to clamp his lips shut.

"You don't have anymore insults for me?" he asked. "That's almost disappointing. Your creativity amuses me." His mouth fell into a frown as he crossed his arms over his chest. "So you're sick of my couch, Takeru? How do you suppose we fix that?"

Sasazuka rolled his eyes so exaggeratedly that he was surprised that his eyes hadn't actually rolled back into his skull. Why had he implied a team effort? He wanted nothing more to do with that man! The only way to fix things was for him to get out of there! But if he left, where would he go? Yanagi already had his hands full with Enomoto, and he'd rather die than ask that stupid cat Hoshino for help. No matter how he looked at it, he was most definitely screwed.

After nearly a minute of awkward silence, Shiraishi finally spoke up. "If you have no suggestions, then shall I take matters into my own hands?"

Feeling his temper rising, the other man crammed his laptop into its carrying case and headed toward the door. "Do whatever the hell you want. I'm going to the office." He then turned to his roommate and sighed deeply. "Just don't go too overboard." Unsure of whether or not his words fell on deaf ears, he left the apartment.

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Delaying his trek home from the office as long as possible, he decided to ask Sakuragawa out for drinks. He arrived earlier than she did and didn't wait to start drinking. He was on his second glass by the time the lavender-haired woman arrived, friends in tow.

"Hope you don't mind, but I invited Hoshino and Mukai to join us," Sakuragawa stated with a grin. She sat across from Sasazuka, Mukai taking the seat next to her as Hoshino sat next to him. "Besides, you're living with the Director, and as the Shiraishi Bashing Coalition, we are here to support you!"

Sasazuka rolled his eyes. "That's comforting," he dryly stated, taking a sip of his drink. He shot a quick glance toward Hoshino, who looked just about beside herself with nerves. With a heavy sigh, he pushed his drink toward her. "Settle your nerves, you stupid cat. You look like you're going to pass out or something." Signaling for the waitress to bring him another drink, he turned to Sakuragawa. "So, do you just squad up when a guy invites you out, or what?"

"Oh, shut up," she groaned back. Sakuragawa grabbed his new drink out of his hand and took a gulp before handing it back. "It's not like this was a date or anything. Relax."

He rolled his eyes. "So this Shiraishi Bashing Coalition….What the hell even is it?"

Mukai clenched her fist tightly and slammed it on the table, causing the other two girls to flinch. "I hate that man with a burning passion! Today, he left all of his work to me! Apparently, something came up at home, so he couldn't come in, but I find that odd, considering that you're sitting right here! Aren't you his roommate, Sasazuka?! What the hell happened?!"

Sasazuka suddenly stood up, pulling on his coat. "I have a bad feeling about all of this," he stated, fishing around in his pocket for his wallet. "I have to go." He then rushed to pay for his drinks before running out the door, ignoring Mukai's protesting shouts of, "Get back here and explain yourself, Sasazuka!"

Never in his entire life had he ran as fast as he did while racing back to the apartment. Before reaching his destination, he could already sense the danger of the situation. How could he have been so stupid as to leave Shiraishi to his own devices? His mind was screaming at him as he burst through the front door of the apartment like an avalanche.

Shiraishi stepped into the living room, a troubled expression on his face. "Takeru?" he asked. "What brings you here in such a manner? Were you exercising?"

"Exercising, my ass!" Sasazuka growled at him, narrowing his eyes. He bent over, placing his hands on his knees to hold himself up as he struggled to catch his breath. "What the hell have you been doing all day?!"

The other man's normally-dull, lifeless eyes seemed to light up with excitement. "Yes! That's right! Follow me, Takeru!" He turned and headed toward his bedroom. "Don't take all day!"

Fed up, Sasazuka stalked off toward the bedroom. "That doesn't answer my question, idiot! I swear to God, if you…." His voice trailed off as he looked into the bedroom. Nothing could have prepared him for that moment. "What the hell have you done?" he breathed.

Where Shiraishi's bed once sat stood a large, full-sized bunk bed. As comfortable as it looked, Sasazuka internally battled over whether or not to accept the bunk.

"I got a bunk bed," the blond stated. "Now you no longer have to sleep on my couch. What do you think? Aren't you grateful for my consideration?"

Sasazuka took one look at the bunk beds that Shiraishi was so proudly gesturing to and could only utter one dry response. "Thanks, I hate it."