Tonks,

Happy Christmas! I know we haven't spoken since our dispute outside the Burrow a week ago, but that needs to change. Since a few gentlemen we'd rather not see will be attending the Weasley Christmas party, I thought we could have our own.

All my love,

G.O.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was indeed a very lovely Christmas. The two girls decorated the tree in Gwendolyn's living room together and made Christmas dinner. Neither of them knew how to cook very well, but it didn't matter anymore. They were friends again and everything was well.

Around eleven, they went to Tonks's house to watch movies on the telly. Near midnight, a little owl appeared at the window carrying a note:

Gwendolyn,

Happy Christmas

S.S.

She smiled and scribbled a reply

XXXXXXXXXXXX

A week after Christmas, Mrs. Weasley owled Gwendolyn informing her that if she did not attend the New Year's Eve party, she would have her head. Tonks had come over that morning for breakfast and informed her that she too had received the same owl.

"Should we go?" Tonks asked, playing with the rather dry eggs Gwen had attempted to make.

Gwen took a sip of her tea. "I don't suppose we have much of a choice," Gwen said grimly.

"I can't face him again," her friend whispered, dropping her fork and staring at the mess of a breakfast. Gwen didn't say anything. It was a year ago on New Year's that Bill had broken up with her for Fleur Delacour. "Maybe we can fake sickness." Tonks suggested.

Gwen shook her head. "She won't buy it. Not after we missed Christmas." Tonks sighed and attempted to eat the food. "Maybe we should go and just stick together. It'll be fine. I'm sure Bill and Remus will avoid us like the plague."

"If we get wretchedly drunk, perhaps we won't remember seeing them!" Tonks suggested with an air of false cheer. Her hair was brown today, hanging limply around her face. If Tonks was less sad, she could manage to morph. Today was not yet a day for morphing, but perhaps it could become such.

"You ought to try morphing today," Gwen suggested, taking their plates and tossing out the food. "It would look extremely festive and it would show Remus you can live without him."

Tonks looked rather miserable and shrugged at the notion. They sat at the kitchen table, silently sipping their tea.

They spent the day inside. They did some paperwork for their jobs and occasionally continued to debate whether or not they should attend the party.

Gwen wasn't sure how she felt about Bill anymore. She knew there were still feelings lingering in the corners of her mind. She was so distracted lately that if she thought of him it was only at night, when she was alone. She felt rather hollow without him, sometimes.

Before they knew it, they had run out of time to decide.

"I think," Tonks said softly. "We ought to go for Molly."

"Yes!" Gwen agreed. "We shan't even acknowledge the others' existences!" The girls smiled smugly at each other and Tonks announced that she was going home to get dressed.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Gwen! I'm so glad you could come! Hurry now, inside!" Mrs. Weasley rushed her in and Gwen handed her the bottle of firewhiskey she had brought. "Everybody, Gwen's here!" she shouted into the living room. Gwen smiled and went to greet everyone. Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Remus, Bill, Arthur, and the kids. "Is Tonks coming, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Yes," Gwen said happily.

"Wonderful!" Mr. Weasley cheered.

"It'll be good to see Tonks out of the office," Kingsley said, his deep voice echoing throughout the room. He gestured for Gwen to sit with him, Remus, Arthur, and Harry who were talking. Harry hadn't noticed Gwen as he was engrossed in his conversation with Remus.

"…got you fired, so I don't see why you're defending him!"

"Harry, it would have gotten out some other way, you know that," Remus said calmly. Gwen glanced over at Kingsley with a raised eyebrow.

"They've been talking about Snape for about half an hour," Kingsley said quietly.

"Harry is very convinced Snape and Draco Malfoy are up to something," Remus explained.

"So I've heard," Gwen said.

"What's your opinion, Gwen?" Arthur asked. "Harry usually agrees with you."

She looked over at the pair of green eyes that were on her. It was very odd, being a type of role model to someone, especially when she still felt that she needed a role model. She cleared her throat.

"I don't think Snape is a particularly nice person," she started, trying to sympathize with Harry. "But I don't think he's evil. And I certainly don't think Dumbledore is wrong in trusting him."

"Do you trust him?" Harry asked.

"Of course I do. We're fellow Order members. We need to trust each other." She looked at the others for affirmation and they nodded.

"We can't win a war turned against one another," Kingsley agreed.

The front door open and in came Nymphadora Tonks, tripping over thin air. Instinctively it seemed, Remus Lupin stood up to go help her up. Gwen heard her mutter an "I'm fine". She tried to not watch them and started to make small talk with Kingsley, but she couldn't help but notice that the two started talking. He helped her take off her cloak and hung it for her, then the two disappeared into a side room. So much for sticking together, she mused.

The slowly passed by and she found herself downing one too many drinks to distract herself. She had no clue as to when Tonks would come back. It was nearing midnight when Gwen stumbled into the kitchen to find some water, when she felt and saw a shadow fall over her. She turned around and there he was. Bill Weasley, smiling in all his glory, waiting for her. "Hello, Gwen."

"Hi," she said, trying to sound casual. She went back to pouring herself a glass of water.

"How are you?" he asked, leaning against the counter, looking at her.

"I'm alright," she said, smiling at him. Dear Merlin, these feelings had not evaporated, that much was for sure. It took just standing beside him for a few moments to feel it. "And you?"

"Pretty good," he said with a shrug. Gwen realized that she hadn't seen Fleur this evening.

"Where's Fleur?"

"In France, with her family. She stayed here for Christmas and got a little homesick, so she went to visit them." He was rather close to her and she stumbled back slightly, water in hand. She could smell the liquor on him as well.

"That's nice," she said quietly.

"It's rather stuffy in here," he commented. "Care to step outside?"

Her heart was beating rapidly. She nodded silently and they slipped out the kitchen door.

The stars were twinkling brightly and the air was cold and clear. She shivered slightly and he took off his sweater and wrapped it around him. She looked at him curiously, not understanding why he was being this way. "How are you, Gwennie?" He asked as they leaned against the house and looking up at the sky.

Gwennie. "You already asked that," she said with a smile. He laughed.

"Perceptive as always." She chuckled and they fell into another silent. "Why didn't you come to Christmas?"

"Me and Tonks weren't up to it," she admitted, not wanting to go into detail.

"It was because of me and Fleur, wasn't it?" He asked. She looked over at him and in his eyes she saw the teenage boy she had fallen in love with. She brushed the long red hair out of his face and behind his ears.

"It doesn't matter," she whispered softly. He drew closer to her. Merlin, the stench of the liquor was strong, but she was caring less and less. She raised an eyebrow at his closeness.

"It's rather cold," he explained with a grin and she shuddered and smiled. "Gwen, it's been a year."

She stared at him, surprised that he had just come out and said it so blatantly. "Please, Bill."

"EVERYBODY! IT'S NEARLY MIDNIGHT!" They heard Mrs. Weasley shout from inside the house, but neither of them paid mind to it.

"You know I regret it," he said softly, playing with her tiny brown curls. "I like your hair short, Gwennie."

"I thought you liked long hair."

"I've never seen short hair so nice." He continued to stroke her hair. "Never seen a girl so nice."

She pulled away suddenly, her drunken mind confused. "Stop. You're engaged!"

"She's not here."

"That shouldn't matter, Bill." She said firmly. He leaned in closer again.

"Don't tell me you don't love me anymore, Gwennie," he said, his words sounding sad. Her eyes widened.

"Why should you care?" she spat, cold and bitter.

"You know why I care," he whispered and she felt her heart soar as he stroked her face. She was melting in his hands.

"5!"

He put his hands on her face and bore his blue eyes into hers.

"4!"

"We shouldn't," she tried.

"3!"

"Hush," he whispered.

"2!"

He leaned in.

"1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Their lips met, exactly a year since they had last touched. He grabbed her waist and pulled her in as the cheers and drunken singing could be heard from the living room. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," she said, without hesitation. He grabbed her hand and they snuck into the house as everyone cheered, not noticing them hurrying up the stairs.

XXXXXXXXX

She woke up in the middle of the night, her eyes still closed. She felt Snape's arm around her waist, which was odd. She and Snape never "cuddled" or touched after sex. She had her side of the bed and he had his. He would never ever do something like that.

Then the flood of memories came back to her and her eyes flew open and there was Bill, sleeping beside her, not Snape. She smiled at his sleeping face. It was a lovely sight that she hadn't seen in so long. She stroked the lovely red hair softly and a sigh escaped her lips. This was lovely.

She dozed off again only to be shaken awake. Her eyes flew open and there was Bill, awake this time, a piece of parchment in his hand. "You've got to go!" he whispered hurriedly, sounding afraid.

"W-wha? Wha's happenin'?" she said groggily, shakily sitting up. She grabbed her glasses and glanced at the clock. "It's 3 am!"

"You need to get out of here. Fleur's Apparating here in half an hour! You need to leave!"

Her heart had been soaring in the clouds, above the mountains, into the heavens. But Bill had shot it out of the sky, yet again, and it fell and fell and fell until it hit the pavement and shattered into a million pieces.

Not saying anything, she dressed and wordlessly left the room. She assumed everyone was asleep or home, but when she reached the living room, Remus and Kingsley were still sitting on the couch. They looked at her and she knew that they knew how stupid she was. Kingsley said something to her, but she didn't hear him. She grabbed her cloak and Apparated away.

XXXXXXXX

She stood atop the Astronomy Tower the next night, after her shift patrolling the school. She knew he was coming before she heard his voice. She heard his shoes against the stone floor and smelled his scent, but she kept her mouth closed and her eyes on the cloudy sky, for she could not bear to see him. Not after she had been so stupid. She scanned the sky, trying to distract herself. Not a star was visible this night.

"I knew you would be here," Severus said, sounding unemotional, as usual. A sense of unwarranted guilt flooded over her. She wasn't dating Snape. There had never been any talk of them being monogamous. But why did sleeping with Bill make her feel horrible? She felt as though she had betrayed Severus. "Let's see how well I know you, Gwendolyn."

She said nothing. Her eyes stayed on the clouds, desperate to see a star. None appeared.

"I'm quite positive you attended the New Year's Eve gathering at the Burrow," he continued. "You couldn't miss it, especially after you missed Christmas." She didn't ask how he knew. He always knew everyone's business in the Order. That's what spies were meant to do.

She expected him to play his mind games with her. But he didn't.

"Did you sleep with Bill Weasley?"

She turned to look at him for the first time and stared into his black eyes.

He didn't even need to use Legilimency on her; her silence was enough. "I suppose I know you quite well, then," he said. He seemed emotionless as he left the Astronomy Tower. She heard the door slam furiously. She turned back to the sky, still searching for a star to comfort her.

But there were none.