Chapter 16.

Beth was ready to go home.

Picking up her cup, she took a long drink as she continued to stare out the window. The sun was setting, splashing a beautiful display of colors throughout the sky. Another beautiful painting, she thought with a smile. Her dad would have loved it.

It had been a couple of weeks since she'd received a letter from her parents, and the lack of communication was starting to get to her. Not that she wasn't entertained by the people she had here; in fact, she was sure that this was the closest thing to home she'd ever find. She had gotten much closer to Remus, often meeting up with him for coffee before she left for work in the morning. Lily often asked for her help arranging small details for the wedding ("It's not like I can trust the boys to create the place settings"). Peter had helped her make one of the most delicious batches of cookies she'd ever had for her coworkers, and James would come into her room some nights and tell stories that would make her laugh until she was crying.

And Sirius…

She shook her head, picking up the shirt she had been folding and setting back to work. As great as the family she had here was, she missed her family back home. Being gone from them for so long was a lot more exhausting than she would have thought, especially considering the cost of a long distance call. Letters worked, but letters took time: time to write, time to send, time to wait for the other person to write and send, then time to receive the letter that they had written and sent, only to have to start the whole process over again. She hadn't liked waiting for letters when she had been writing James for the past several years, but she hated it now. Three months without even hearing her family's voice was too long.

Which, of course, certainly gave her mixed feelings on this job offer she'd gotten.

If she was being honest, she'd known it was coming. With the insane amount of overtime she'd been forced to work, it would have been ridiculous to not offer her something. She was going above and beyond what she thought she'd be doing: attending meetings, taking notes, gathering information, processing it, then relaying her takeaways to the lady in the pink pantsuit. As of lately, the meetings had required her to offer her own input into how to address whatever issue they were discussing at the moment, which also required her to analyze how her ideas could better the situation, which then needed to be typed into a report to give to the lady in the pink pantsuit, who would then determine whether it had any validity, which would then bring her and anyone else's ideas to the attention of the next meeting, and then it would start all over. By the time she staggered home, her stamina was typically nonexistent, her brain fried, her eyes shot.

And yet each time she brought up something new, the lady in the pink pantsuit would acknowledge her work with a smile. Once she'd even said, "I think you made the right career choice." And somehow, in the midst of all of the paperwork and meetings she was forced to take care of, those small actions and stamps of approval made the whole process worth it. In fact, it had gotten to the point where she was excited to go to work, even if they did spring a last minute overtime spree on her.

Sirius was the only one who seemed bothered by it.

Sighing, she picked up another shirt. When Remus had told her during one of their coffee runs that Sirius was going to be gone for a couple of days, she'd breathed a sigh of relief. They'd fought the night before about her coming home late and supposedly ruining a date that she didn't know they had, and honestly, the space from him was what she had needed. When he came back, she had been ecstatic, having missed him terribly and spent the night reminding him over and over again how happy she was that he was back. But then one of her ideas had struck, and the lady in the pink pantsuit was never fully convinced that she was presenting her best work, and she'd spent an entire week tweaking just the one report. The report represented her, and if the lady in the pink pantsuit thought that it wasn't to where it needed to be yet, then by God she'd work on it until it was. She'd thought that Sirius would recognize that, and for a couple of days she thought he had.

He hadn't.

Then there was the whole debacle with the last date they went on and him insisting that, despite not showing any prior symptoms, he didn't feel well and that they had to leave right then. She called his bluff, and he admitted something else was wrong, but not until they were back in James' flat. It took another ten minutes for him to blurt out that she wasn't safe, which only made her more angry at the fact that he didn't think he could protect her, which made him angry for her to suggest that was the reason why he was worried, which had caused him to storm out of the flat, leaving their fight on pause and without a resolution. It had mentally destroyed her watching him simply walk away from it all as if that was their only option for peace, and she'd retaliated by throwing herself into her work, staying out as long as possible to avoid seeing him.

It hadn't worked. She still saw him.

Beth looked up when she suddenly heard the door shut close, putting the shirt back down on her lap. "Hello?" she called.

There was a momentary pause before she heard, "Hey, Beth."

She closed her eyes. Of course it was him. "I'm in the bedroom," she responded, picking the shirt back up.

They'd seen each other, sure, but they hadn't really spoken to each other since that last fight. He'd been around the flat every night she'd finished work, but someone else had always been there. Both she and Sirius had mentally decided to make it look like everything was fine between them, but she knew that everyone was aware of the growing tension building. It figured, then, that this time they were completely alone, as James had chosen to spend the night at Lily's and Peter was helping take care of a sick Remus.

They probably planned this out, she thought to herself. She wouldn't put it past them.

Sirius came into the room and smiled at her before leaning down to press a small kiss to her forehead. She gave an unsteady grin back to him, unsure of how this conversation was about to play out. Deciding to put her focus back on the shirt, she asked, "How are you?"

"I'm alright," he said, nodding his head slightly. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said, adding a smile in for extra effect.

He moved to sit on the bed with her. "Good."

"Good," she repeated.

And then they just sat there. No moving, no talking, just Sirius turning to gaze out the window and Beth finding a sudden interest in the carpet. It was weird. She'd hoped it wouldn't be, but it was. They were still on pins and needles around each other, the fight was still on pause, and they both knew it. It was weird.

After a few moments, Sirius cleared his throat. Oh, thank God, she thought. "How was work today?"

"It was good!" she said, folding up the shirt and picking up another one. "Yeah, no, I got a lot done today and I got some things prepared for Thursday's meeting, so it was good."

"Got a lot done and settled in by six, wow."

Beth looked at him, biting her cheek to keep from saying something she'd regret. He seemed to understand what her look meant, though (had to give him that), because he asked about her report only seconds later.

"The official draft got turned in today," she stated. "They're going to address it on Thursday."

"Are you nervous?"

She shook her head. "No, they pick apart everything that people turn in. I'm used to it. I'll be fine."

"It doesn't hurt to be cautious, though."

Her brow furrowed at that. Doesn't hurt to be cautious? she asked herself. "I'll be fine," she declared firmly. "They all like me, they're not going to intentionally hurt me."

"Oh, do they?"

Beth nodded sharply, refusing to look up from her shirt. "Yeah, I'd say so. They offered me a job."

Though she kept her focus on the shirts, she felt Sirius staring at her. Steeling herself, she willed herself not to look up. She didn't want to see his reaction. She honestly hadn't wanted to tell him. It was out now, though, so she waited for his response.

"A job?"

Not a bad response to start with, she thought. "Yeah, they want me to graduate, come back, and work for them. Apparently I have 'potential'." She made quick eye contact with him, then dropped her head back down.

"Come back to England?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I mean, I'd have to think about it, for sure, and talk to my parents, but it's an option." Putting aside the shirt she was working on, she looked towards him. "I mean, it's not most people who can say that they have a job lined up before they graduate."

He paused for a moment before moving to stand up. "Very true," he confirmed, walking over towards the kitchen. "Is that something you'd want to do?" he called out. "Leave everything, everyone you know, to come live here in drabby old England?"

Beth took advantage of him being gone and rolled her eyes. "Gee, don't sound too excited."

"No, no, it's not that." She could hear him mucking around in a cabinet, no doubt making a mess while at it. She really didn't like having to clean up after him. "The US just seems more like the kind of place to live, and England—or really, the whole UK—is more the place you go to visit on holiday. Don't you think?"

Confusion draped over her face. She stood up. "Haven't you lived here your entire life?"

"Yes, but—"

"And James and Lily and Remus and Peter," she continued as she walked towards the kitchen to meet him, "I don't think they have any intention of moving."

"Yes, but there's something different about relocating yourself here and living here your entire life."

She scoffed. "I did live here for seven years, don't forget."

"Yes—no—I know," he said, shaking his hand. "But you haven't lived—it's just—I would think about this before you made any rash decisions."

"Yeah, I know how big decisions work," she said.

"Beth, I'm not trying to—" he took a breath. "I just want to make sure you're thinking about this. To uproot your entire life to move here, is that really something you want to do?"

She stood there, silent for a minute, pondering on what he was saying. It all made sense. It was what she'd been thinking too. Then why did it sound off to her? Why was she bothered by this? Why was…

"Oh, my God," she breathed out, realization hitting her like a brick. "You don't want me to move here."

Sirius hesitated, and in that short moment, she realized her suspicions were correct. Laughing to herself, she turned and started walking down the hall, knowing the pause had ended.

"Beth—"

"No, no," she called back, still walking. "I hear you. I get it."

"Beth, of course I would love it if you were here."

"No, you wouldn't. You don't want me here," she said, turning around to face him. "Because you know that if I decided to move it would mean I would constantly be working, which would mean I would constantly mess up your plans, and God forbid we—"

"Oh shut up, Beth," Sirius snapped, causing her to falter for a moment. "Are we really going to have that fight again?"

"Well considering you're obviously still mad at me for having goals and ambitions and a career—"

"Why would I be mad at you for doing something with your life?"

She scoffed. "You get mad at me every time I call you!"

"Yeah, because you're putting your job ahead of everything else, not because you have goals and ambitions."

Beth nodded, her mouth tightly pressed together. "So I'm supposed to put you ahead of everything else, is that it? This three month fling is supposed to take precedence over my future?"

"No!" he yelled out. "Of course it's not! But you didn't come here for a future job, you came here—"

"What, to start a relationship?"

Sirius was clenching his fist tight, but he continued, "You came here to watch your friend get married."

"And I happened to get a job offer along with it!" she fumed. "Just like I happened to start dating you! Why does this have to be an issue? I haven't even thought about this enough to have an answer. I was literally just telling you that I got offered a job. Why do you have to…" Beth shook her head and brought a hand to her face.

"Why do I have to what?" Sirius demanded after a moment. "Don't get weak on me now."

Beth brought her eyes up, flaming with stress and anger as she glared at him. "Why do you have to make this about you?"

Sirius laughed loudly, disdain filling every chuckle that came out, as he turned around briefly. "How the hell am I making this about me?"

"Are you kidding me?" Beth taunted, moving closer to him. "You expect me to be at your every beck and call, you expect me to drop everything, and anytime I choose to focus on me and the things that are important to me, you make me feel like crap for it. Then one night I go out of my way to make sure everything goes according to your plan, and you decide that you want to leave. How is it not about you? When has this 'relationship' ever not been about you?"

His back was still to her, but she saw his head shaking. "You can't, you can't use that night against me."

"Why not?!" Beth yelled. "You have no problem making me feel horrible. Why is it different for you?" He went to respond, but she interrupted, "Could it possibly be that you're making this about you?"

He turned around at that, stepping towards her with a rage that momentarily terrified her. Steeling her nerves, she stood her ground, matching his eye contact. "Don't you dare use that night against me! I bloody well could have saved your miserable life that night. You have no idea, you know nothing about me."

Unmoving, she answered, "And whose fault is that?"

Sirius stopped at that, choosing to stare down at her as she glared up. Beth could feel his frustration radiating off of him as he thought about what to say next, how to somehow claim that she was the one to blame for all of this. He wouldn't be able to though, they both knew it, and she knew that would hurt him more than any other thing she had said. It was his fault that she knew nothing about him. It was his fault they were in this argument.

But she supposed it was slightly her fault for what he said next.

"This shouldn't have ever happened," he said, taking a step back and moving towards the couch in the living room.

"What? This argument?"

He shook his head. "This relationship."

And suddenly, despite all the past fights, the hurtful words, and how much she'd been thinking the same thing lately, Beth's heart dropped into her stomach. Forcing herself to look unaffected by what he said, she walked towards the chair opposite him. He momentarily looked up at her, but quickly brought his head back down. "I don't know what I was thinking," he said. "I knew it wasn't going to work. They all knew it wasn't going to work."

He looked deep into her eyes then, and her heart sank even lower as she prepared herself for the words she knew were coming.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Beth."

She bit her tongue, bringing her eyes away from his face as he continued to speak. "I'm done fighting, I'm done—I just—I'm done. I want to be done."

Beth kept her eyes focused on the ground as she processed what he was saying. A mixture of actions and remarks flooded into her brain, but she remained silent. Emotions, so many different emotions, clouded her soul, covering out any ray of happiness that had been left as she ran his words through her brain. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done fighting. I'm done. I want to be done.

He wanted to be done.

"Beth," he whispered, but she shook her head. I want to be done, he'd said. I want to be done.

Was this his fault too?

"Beth."

His hand was cradling her cheek before she realized it, and she brought her gaze up. He was kneeling beside her chair now, looking just as shaken by what he said as she was sure she did. She gently nudged her face away, closing her eyes tight. It wasn't helping. He wanted to be done.

"Please, just go," she whispered.

He took his hand away but remained beside her for a moment longer. She was still angry, still upset, but this new heartache was pounding away at her resolve to stay strong. She knew if he stayed much longer that she would probably cry, though more out of frustration than sadness. He would become that sweet, caring person he was on that day he comforted her when he saw her crying on the couch, she would cling to him desperately for relief, and it would only make the situation worse. So she remained motionless, staring at the floor beside him until she felt him stand up and leave, not bothering to say another word to her.

As soon as the door closed, she lifted her head up to the ceiling, taking a deep breath as she felt her first tear fall. Oh yes, she was really ready to go home now.

A/N: Now before any of you get mad or upset, I want you to go back and read the summary for this story. Don't worry! Things will get better, but sometimes we have to go through a valley in order to reach the mountain. Fictional characters are no exception.

Nimblescrivener put in some work to help me with this chapter, so a round of applause for her, please (*scattered clapping*).

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