FREEDOM.

When Beth had first learned about the Declaration of Independence, she had been floored at the ability to just suddenly declare themselves free. It always seemed a bit presumptuous to her, simply stating that you were no longer bound by the demands of someone else. No, in her mind, it made more sense to work towards freedom, not to suddenly just demand it. And then, as time had gone on, she recognized that the Declaration did not come unexpectedly, but had been a thought, a small bloom, sitting across the ocean and needing a months-long voyage and a new land to get out. She'd heard about the battle for freedom, the cost of the war, and how long and arduous the process had been to get to the point they were at now. That was when she realized that freedom had not been demanded, it had been earned, through hard work and sweat and determination.

And yet she was almost certain that the liberty she felt from ending her internship was infinitely more triumphant than how those revolutionaries felt.

Her internship was done, James was getting married tomorrow, and she was going home. She sighed happily as she walked towards his flat, determined that today was going to be the best day she'd had all summer. All of the boys were going to be out tonight. Lily was going to the hotel. She was going to have a lie in, basking in her success and triumph, eating Chinese takeout, and watching bad television, all while packing to get ready to leave, and it was going to be glorious.

Nearing the door and reaching out to unlock it, she thought to herself that there was nothing in the world that could diminish her mood right now, nothing that could stop her from enjoying today, nothing that would—

Oh, bloody hell.

"Hi," she said, trying to control her erratic heart rate at the sight of him. Sirius looked just as disturbed to see her as well, flustering around the objects on the table before looking at her fully.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I wouldn't have been here if I had known—"

"And I wouldn't have come if I had—"

"Right, right."

"Right," she repeated.

It was only after several moments had passed that she realized they had just been staring at each other, both having not moved since she'd entered.

God, this was awkward.

She moved to place her bag down, settling it down by another bag and trying to play out how to best handle this situation and, subsequently, all the plans she had made for the night. She could retreat to her room, claiming tiredness, but that was the furthest thing from the truth. She could insist that he leave, but that would only create unnecessary drama. She could try to pretend as though nothing had ever happened between them, pretend that they weren't alone for the first time in weeks, pretend that this was just a friend and not someone that had broken up with her on the couch in the room next to them.

She wasn't sure which one she would rather endure.

"I thought," he cleared his throat, clearly feeling just as awkward as she was. "I thought you wouldn't be back until later."

"They let me leave early," she said as brightly as she could, turning around to face him but remaining still in her spot.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I guess after you've worked the entire summer for them, they'll let you leave early on your last day." She flashed a small grin but immediately brought her head back down, unwilling to see his reaction. "Could have come in handy a couple of weeks ago, I know," she added quietly.

"You're entirely finished then?" he asked, and Beth breathed a sigh of relief at not commenting on her last statement. "No more long hours, no more projects, no more meetings, it's all done?"

She nodded. "There's not much else I could do considering I leave on Monday."

"Monday?"

She met his gaze at his clarification, finding an unnerving amount of tenderness in his eyes. Brushing it aside, she nodded again. "The wedding tomorrow, a day to pack, and then back to the States. Always been the plan."

He shook his head slowly as if absorbing the words that she was saying. "That's a rather eventful couple of days."

"Yeah," she laughed, crossing across the room, daring to stand closer to him. "I don't know if I could handle something else dramatic happening during that time."

Sirius froze a moment, his eyes remaining glued on hers. She furrowed her brow, uncomfortable at the sudden look he was giving her. Breaking the eye contact, her eyes landed on the pieces of paper spread out before him, covered in what looked like scribbles and arrows pointing each and every way. "What's that you're working on?" she questioned, desperately wishing to end the moment.

It apparently worked, because Sirius immediately brought his attention back to what was in front of him, ending the weird tension between them. "This is a seating chart that I was supposed to have finished a month ago."

"A seating chart?" Beth walked closer to the table, peering over it from the opposite side of where he was sitting. "For what?"

"For the wedding."

Beth stopped, still staring down at the papers. "The wedding that's happening tomorrow?"

"One and the same."

She chanced a glance at him, finding him stifling back a laugh and rubbing his face with his hands. "Why are you doing it?"

"I offered to help ease the burden of planning and Lily thought that this was the only thing that I would be able to finish on time and with 'excellence'," he put quotes around the words.

"And you're finishing it now?"

"And I'm finishing it now."

"And Lily hasn't killed you yet for not having it done?"

"It's not my fault," he said, holding his hands up. "As luck would have it, I was a little busier than we all expected this summer."

Beth bit her tongue when he met her gaze straight on, relief washing over her when she realized his eyes were twinkling in amusement. He wasn't accusing her. The sensation of realizing he was joking with her again coiled into the pit of her stomach, settling like a rock as she realized that she had missed it. Unable to hold back, she responded, "So it's my fault, is it?"

"It's definitely the excuse I gave to Lily."

She laughed, looking down at it. It looked as if half of the names had been accommodated for, and if it had taken him this long to complete that much, she could only imagine how much longer he would be there. She wanted to have her day alone—desperately, honestly, and truly she did—but now he was sitting there and he was joking with her again, and she watched her plans suddenly shift in her head. If he stayed, that would be … bad, right? Yes, it would be, she tried to remind herself. Horrible, awful, bad.

But if she were to offer to help him, that would simply be to help him leave quicker, right? Not for any other reason. Solely to have him leave as soon as possible. Steeling her nerves, she asked, "Should I help you, then?"

For the sake of helping him leave, she reminded herself. Not for any other reason.

"Do you want to?" He seemed startled by her offer.

She nodded. "It does seem to be partly my fault that this happened."

"Yes," he replied, and Beth watched as his eyes took her in fully, moving from her head to her toes before finally settling back on her face. "I mean no, no, I have everything under control."

Beth bit her lip. That certainly was not the answer she'd expected. She supposed she could just go into her room, sit there, and wait until he finally left. It certainly wouldn't be a problem, and both of them would probably be grateful for the lack of contact, and she'd still get to have her day to relax. And yet, he was here, he was sitting there, he knew she was there, and what would be more awkward? To be involved in the middle of an awkward situation and make fun of it all? Or to attempt to continue in ignorance, pretending as if nothing had ever happened, and feel the weight of the burden of hiding?

"I mean," he cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. "Unless you just want to help."

Her face brightened at the invitation, and she silently chastised herself for getting so excited. "You don't think it'll be awkward?"

"Oh no, I fully intend for it to be one of the most uncomfortable experiences ever," he teased. "But we might as well get that first uncomfortable talk out of the way, right?"

"The first uncomfortable talk?" she asked, pulling out the chair directly next to him and sitting down. She tried desperately to not let the sudden proximity affect her, and continued, "Are you planning on having more than one?"

That face happened again. His features froze again, and because of how close she now was, it was nearly impossible to look anywhere else. He looked so pained, so hurt, and she couldn't place her finger on what it was that was affecting him so. It obviously had something to do with her. What had she done to make him feel that way? Was it even her fault at all? She kept his gaze, nervous to say anything that would bring her away from him, for even in the midst of this awkwardness, she felt a little bit of life restored in her at the familiarity. Maybe it was selfish, but she didn't want it to go away, no matter what was on this man's mind.

After what felt like hours of his gaze boring into her, he turned toward the sheets in front of him, fidgeting with it unnecessarily. "No," he said, and it was spoken with so much command of the situation that Beth knew it was out of sight and out of mind. She wasn't to ask about it. So, instead, she picked up a page of names listed, focusing all of her attention on the names not marked off and not on how good he smelled.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

We can't sit him there," Sirius protested, pointing to a table on the opposite side of the room. "This is the one to go with, I promise you."

"But you said that he's married to one of the bridesmaids," Beth protested, pointing to her original idea. "If he sits here, he's at the table directly next to it."

"But if he sits there, he has to sit with Molly and Arthur, and Frank doesn't have the patience to sit by them for the entire night."

They were nearing the end of the list, putting the final finishing touches on the last couple of names that had yet to be crossed out, and it was surprisingly … not awkward? Not uncomfortable, not unpleasant, not weird at all. It felt as though she had just met him all over again, and the constant playful bickering over where to seat everyone had been a sigh of relief after all the yelling that had occurred the day they had ended their relationship. Granted, she was reminding herself constantly that if she ever wanted to visit James again, she'd have to be on friendly terms with Sirius. That was certainly a motivating factor. That and she knew now that it would have been worse if they had decided to ignore each other.

But it was good talking to him. It was fun. It was enjoyable. She'd forgotten how easily he could make her laugh, and was loving every moment that he did. The last month of their relationship had been tense and overworked, as if they both knew the end was inevitably near and were doing all that was possible to not let it happen. But, she'd realized about halfway down the list, it was almost better not having those words of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" tying them together. She could enjoy him now for the person that he was, not the person he was trying to be for her. He felt more real now, more alert and awake and alive. Whether or not that directly correlated to him being single again, Beth didn't know, but seeing him this way was refreshing. It was everything that she had been initially attracted to, and as she stared at him, she couldn't help but feel—

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. Nope. No. Nope nope nope.

No.

She brought her attention back to the list, glancing at the names to make sure she was talking about the right people. "You said Molly and Arthur were great."

"They are," Sirius agreed, "but they just had twins last year and that is all they will talk about. Frank and Alice just got married. If he sits by them, they won't ever have kids."

She laughed. "I think Frank can deal with a couple who just had their first kids for a couple of hours."

"Oh no," Sirius objected. "These are their fourth and fifth kids."

Beth's eyes bulged out. "Oh."

"And they're already planning their next one."

"Oh."

"And Frank and Alice just got married."

Beth looked down at the names listed for that table. "Wait, you have me sitting at this table."

"Yeah, so you can be close to the wedding party table."

Beth laughed. "But that's exactly what I said for-"

"Yeah, but we're doing this for Frank to save his marriage."

"Whereas for me, it's just my sanity I'll be losing, right?"

"Precisely," Sirius said, and wrote down Frank's name on the table he suggested. "Have to think of what's most important."

Beth glanced down at the list again. "You have me sitting right next to them!"

"Think about Frank. Do it for Frank."

"But I don't know Frank!" she protested.

"This is your calling. This is your destiny. Do it for Frank, Beth."

Beth laughed, rubbing her face with her hands before placing her palms back on the table. "Frank better be one extraordinary person then."

Sirius didn't respond, simply gave her a lingering look that did not match the mood of the situation. Confused, Beth glanced around before realizing suddenly that she'd placed one of her hands on top of his. Quickly pulling her hands away, she shifted uncomfortably before chancing another look at him. His eyes had not moved. His expression had not changed. He was overwhelming her senses, and he did not care, and suddenly she realized that that small contact had been the first time they'd touched each other since that horrible night. She shifted slightly away, trying to ignore the piercing gaze.

"Sorry," she apologized quietly.

His response was just as quiet. "Don't be."

Beth met his eyes, this time deliberately. His expression still had not changed. And then, without so much as a glance down, she felt his hand grab back hold of hers, and she couldn't help but intertwine their fingers together, bringing back memories that pierced her heart.

And maybe it was only because it had been several weeks since they'd really been this close to each other, but God, it felt like that night with James' parents' all over again.

"We're back!"

Beth and Sirius immediately sprang apart, looking back at the papers in front of them without so much as another glance in each other's direction. "So yeah," Sirius said, and Beth was surprised at how calm and steady his voice was. "If we sit Frank there, then you can sit here."

Beth nodded overeagerly, plastering a huge smile on her face. "I like it! I think that looks great!"

"Working hard, I see," Lily said as she came closer to the table. "Is that the seating chart that I told you to finish two months ago?"

"One month ago," Sirius clarified, "and I was just putting finishing touches on it."

"Sure," Lily said, sitting down at the table across from him and glancing at what they had written down. "No worries, I already have one made."

Sirius threw up his hands. "What was all this for then?"

"Mainly to get you off my back about volunteering to help."

Sirius turned to stare at Beth with an exasperated look covering his face, immediately causing her to laugh despite the somewhat intense moment they had just shared. "Do you hear this person?" he asked her.

Beth shrugged. "I can't say it was a bad idea."

"It got you guys talking again, I'd say it was a good one," Lily added nonchalantly, never looking up from the paper.

Beth blushed, turning her attention to James and Remus, who were now coming into the room with them. Thank God, she thought. Someone else to help keep my mind off of him.

Unfortunately for her, James would not allow that.

"You guys are friends again?" he asked loudly, sitting next to his fiancée. "When did this happen?"

"Actually," Sirius interjected before Beth could respond, "this whole thing has been a ploy. We were never actually in a relationship."

Beth bit back her laughter, immediately joining in as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Hey, when did we decide that we were telling him this today?"

Sirius looked at her with fake confusion. "I sent you a memo."

"Must have gotten lost."

"All right, all right, shut up," James said, rolling his eyes. "You guys think you're so clever and funny just because you're back on friendly terms."

And this time, Beth looked at him first. She smiled softly. "Yeah," she said. "We are."

Sirius held her gaze, but something seemed to be prickling in the back of his mind. There was a small, small inkling of worry hidden behind his grey eyes, something that only someone who had been close to him would have noticed. She picked it up immediately but said nothing of it. At least I hope we are, she thought desperately.

"So friends now?" Lily asked, peering up from the above the piece of paper. "Are you guys telling each other all your wild, crazy secrets?"

Beth laughed at this, shaking her head. "I don't think I know all of you well enough to tell my wild, crazy secrets."

Lily nodded once, then looked at Sirius. "And what about you? Think you know her well enough?"

Beth watched as an odd tension passed between the two of them. It was unmistakably there, raw and rough, and Beth immediately knew there was something she was missing. She looked towards Remus and James, hoping they'd be able to telepathically communicate what unspeakable thing was going on, but they seemed to be just as perturbed by Lily's statement as Sirius. Frowning, she looked at all of them.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes," Sirius said too quickly. He took in a small breath and gave her an equally small smile. "Yes," he repeated. "Everything's fine."

"Is it?" Lily asked, standing up from the table. "I'm glad to hear it."

Another harsh look was exchanged between the two of them. Confused, Beth turned once again to Remus, who was only able to give her a smile as small as Sirius'. She was about to ask again what was wrong, what was going on when Lily spoke again.

"I'm headed off," she said, reaching down for the bag that was sitting by the door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Wait, where are you going?" James craned his head toward the door.

Lily rolled her eyes and came behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I have an important date I have to start getting ready for," she said, kissing his cheek.

"But you're leaving now?"

"I'm sure you can manage one night without me," she laughed. "Besides, I think you guys have something to tell Beth about, don't you?"

Wait, what?

"I'll see you tomorrow," Lily whispered, and gave him a lasting, promising kiss before she left, leaving Beth alone with three guys who looked about as nervous as a mouse hiding from a cat. The second the door closed, Beth leaned against the table.

"All right," she said. "What's going on?"

A look was shared between the three of them. She shook her head. "No, no more of these looks. Just tell me what it is that's going on."

"Shouldn't we wait for Peter to be here?" Remus asked.

"No," James said. "He said he'd meet us at the pub after his meeting."

"You are scaring me," Beth declared. "What is going on?" The two fell quiet, and Beth found herself yet again looking at the man sitting beside her, hoping beyond all hope that he would let her know. "Sirius?"

He shut his eyes, taking in a deep sigh before facing her fully. "There is something we have to tell you," he finally said.

"What?"

Sirius looked at the two sitting across from them, waiting for a response. Beth wanted to scream. Whatever it was that was going on, it couldn't be that serious. Could it? When Remus and James both gave nods of approval, he looked back at her, clutching her hand in his again.

"Beth," he whispered her name like a prayer, and she felt her heart clench in anticipation. A moment passed, and then he said, "I'm pregnant."

It took her much longer than she'd care to admit to process what he said.

Then she smacked his arm.

"Sirius Black!" she yelled, throwing her head back into laughter. "I hate you!"

"You should have seen your face," he laughed as he pointed at her face. "You totally bought it for a second."

She shook her head, still laughing. "Is that really what this is all about? Are you just purposefully trying to rile me up?"

Sirius was still laughing, and she looked over to see how James and Remus had reacted. There wasn't even a trace of a smile from either of them.

"No," Remus said, a little more calculated and determined than the person she'd come to know. His stern response quieted her laughter. "We do have something to tell you."

Beth felt all the happiness wash away as her nerves began to settle in. It wasn't like them to be so serious. James, for heaven's sake, had hardly said a word since he came through the door, and he wasn't looking at her now. She sighed. "Can it at least wait until I go to the bathroom?"

"Yes, yes, yes," Remus waved to the general direction, ushering her off. "Please, by all means."

Beth gave a shaky smile in response before she walked to the small washroom and closed the door. Whatever was going on had to be fairly serious. Scenario after scenario ran through her head, trying to weed out whatever was impossible. One of them's dying, she thought. One of them killed someone. One of them has tricked me into working at the wrong company. One of them is a robot. Thought after thought, idea after idea, ran through her mind, until suddenly she was drowning in a sea of possibilities. There was something wrong, something that involved her in some way, but also involved all of them, and apparently Peter as well. Lily had left fairly quickly too. She knew. She knew something was wrong and left so that they could all address it. The wedding was still on, that much she knew. What could possibly be so troubling that all of them needed to talk to her about it?

Taking a deep, long breath as she looked in the mirror, she tried to mentally prepare herself for whatever was in store for her, sighing in frustration when it did nothing to help. Just as she opened the door, however, she heard voices coming from down the hall. Cracking it open, she shamelessly began to eavesdrop on what they were saying.

"…had to."

"But why?" she heard James asked. "Why would you joke about it right before?"

"She's going to hate all of us for this," Sirius said. Her hand tightened into a fist. What was he going on about? "Especially me after all that I… I just—I had to make her smile one last time."

Her heart clenched at the admission, and worry overthrew every emotion she had. Beth opened up the door, prepared and armored and ready for whatever nonsense they were about to throw her way.

And yet even her wildest dreams couldn't have possibly prepared her for the bombshell they then dropped on her.

She hadn't said a word since they told her. She'd been sitting there now, silent and motionless, for about five minutes. Her hands were folded tightly in her lap, and she stared at them with a blank but strong intensity.

This, this was the most painful sight Sirius had yet to see. He'd watched her face shift all throughout their conversation, from the moment she thought that everything was a joke to the moment she realized it was all too true. It had been almost unbearable to watch as they delicately tried to explain that the life she had known with them was almost entirely a lie, that there was another world she knew virtually nothing about, and that they were all a part of it. She'd taken it in as much of a stride as she had been able to, only interjecting occasionally to ask clarifying questions, never to doubt.

He'd been right in saying that she would hate him. How could she not, particularly when he announced that he'd obliviated her memories? He knew it would happen, knew that she would be distraught at the knowledge of how he'd manipulated her. But she'd maintained eye contact as he told her, and he'd watched as her opinion of him shifted even more so than it had already. When he'd finished, she'd looked away, and he had yet to meet her eyes directly since then.

Remus and James had tried to explain a bit about the Order, telling her that a number of the wedding guests were a part of it and that talk would be circulating about the war that they were currently in. She was greatly unperturbed by the idea of a war going on, probably assuming that it wasn't as drastic as they all knew it was. And why would she think that it was some catastrophic event? She had no knowledge of it. It was not in the muggle news. Surely, something that she didn't have any knowledge about couldn't be that chaotic, right? And so they'd had to explain in greater detail all that had happened, all that was going on, and soon she was refusing to look at them too.

And then she'd just sat there. Taking it all in, absorbing all that she'd heard, processing all that'd been said. It was the most uncomfortable silence Sirius had ever felt himself be in, and that included all of the family dinners he'd been forced to go to after he was sorted into Gryffindor. Because at least then, there was still talk, even if it was all directly negative towards him. Her saying nothing after hearing everything, that was torture worthy of Voldemort himself.

"I think-" she finally said, still looking at the ground as all three of their heads quickly snapped to her attention. "I think I'm going to go lay down."

"Beth—" James started to say, but she simply shook her head and stood up.

"No, I'm just going to lay down for a bit. I should probably start packing too." She walked down the hall towards her room slowly, still refusing to look at any of them. "You guys are leaving for the night anyway, you should go."

"Beth—"

"Just go. Have fun."

Remus called out after her. "We're sorry, Beth."

She paused for a moment, hand already on the doorknob, and then she looked up at Sirius. Out of the three people standing there, she chose him, and while it made sense for her to do so (he was standing directly in her viewpoint), she chose him. And despite how desperately he'd wanted her to make some sort of contact with them to let them know that she was at least still alive, the look she gave was full of distrust and unbelief and hurt, kin to the one she'd thrown at him several months ago in a dark alley after he blurted out the secret that they had so carefully deconstructed today. It felt as if he was standing across from her all over again, wand at the ready to clean her mind, and he found himself wishing at that moment that she had chosen someone else to look at.

She held that gaze for a moment longer before entering the room, shutting out the animagus, blood traitor, and werewolf with a definite slam.

A/N: I'm still here!

To make up for my ridiculously long hiatus, here is a nice, long chapter for you all. I cannot promise the next update will be quick, but I can promise that the groundwork has been laid out. I am constantly writing ideas and snapshots out, whether it's in my journal during my classes (don't be like me, study hard) or on my computer. I have it all laid out in my mind. It's just a matter of doing it.

Thank you, nimblescrivener, for pushing me to finish this, even if you didn't know you were.

To all those who have recently followed, favorited, or reviewed, you helped kick my butt into gear! Please, PLEASE keep it up. It motivates me more than you could ever know.

Thankful for each and every single one of you.