Chapter 19

In everything that she could have imagined they would tell her, dropping this bombshell was one of the last things that had ever crossed her mind.

Beth looked at the small clock by her bed, cringing when she saw the time. 12:13. That meant she'd been lying here, trying to figure out what to do with this information, for two and a half hours. Two and a half hours, and she still had no idea what to make of everything.

So magic was real. Not the clowns and magicians type of magic she was used to growing up, but for real magic. That's how James had clumsily first announced it, at least. For real magic. What did that even mean? They'd tried to describe some of what that entailed, pulling out wands that looked like the cheap toys you could buy at any department store. But no, apparently these were real, though Beth's first instinct when they showed a small object levitating was still to ask, Where did you learn to do that trick?

It was a mess, whatever this situation was. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with the information now that she had it. Did they seriously expect her to just move on, pretend that this was normal, accept that this was now a part of her life? She rolled her eyes. It would have been less surprising if they'd told her that they had reincarnated Winston Churchill and that he would be officiating the wedding tomorrow. With that, at least, she'd have a good story to tell. This for real magic thing though, she had a feeling she wouldn't be able to tell anyone about.

Beth flopped a pillow on top of her head. This was ridiculous. Ridiculous and messy and plain weird, if she was going to be honest. She didn't know what she was going to do to tomorrow. Smile and wave and say hi as if she hadn't just learned this life-altering information? Pretend like everything was okay when people introduced themselves? Were they all going to think that she could do this too, or was it going to be blatantly obvious when she walked in the door that something was off?

She groaned. This wedding was not supposed to be such a stress-inducing event.

A knock knock knock came from her door. "Beth?"

She glanced back over at the clock. 12:16. Had it really only been three minutes? "Yeah?"

"Are you up?" James asked her.

"Evidently."

He cracked open the door slightly, peering his head through the gap. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she snapped a little too harshly, hardly finding the patience to care. She crossed her arms over her chest. "You're back earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Yeah, well," he entered the room a little more, "none of us really felt like staying out."

She nodded tersely. "That's my fault, is it?"

"No," he said, shaking his head convincingly. "Of course not. It's ours."

Beth was about to respond, but James continued, "I actually do have a reason for coming in to see you. I have a question."

"Okay."

"Am I supposed to have a gift for Lily tomorrow?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Like a wedding gift?"

"Yes," he responded, running fingers through his shaggy hair. "I was always under the impression that we're already getting married, there wasn't a need to get a gift, but Peter said he heard Lily talking about what to get me, and now I don't know if I need to have one for her too."

Beth smiled, shifting in her bed to sit up a bit straighter. "You're kind of waiting until the last second to think about this, don't you think?"

"I didn't know until tonight."

"You and Lily didn't talk about it?"

"I would not be asking you what to do if she had."

"Fair point," she agreed. "Then yes, I'd say you should probably have one for her."

"I was afraid you'd say that," he groaned, bringing his hands up to rub his face. He paused after a moment, then brought his eyes up to meet hers. "Hey, Beth—"

Beth sighed. "James—"

"Will you please help me find a gift that will convince Lily to go through with the wedding?"

"You have no reason to think that she won't."

"No, I know that," he said. "But I just … I want it to be perfect for her, because I know she's put in so much time to make everything go smoothly, and I've already probably, I'm assuming, ruined this trip for you—"

"James—"

"—and I don't want anything to go wrong or to happen that would make her wonder why she's marrying me. So if I need a gift, I need a gift that will convince her that she's making the right choice." He paused, staring intensely at her. "I know that it's unfair for me to ask you for help, especially after today, but I can't ask—or well, I could, but I don't want—I'm asking for your help. I need your help."

Beth stared at him, his big doe eyes staring back. Even in the shadows, save for the small light coming from the hallway, she could see the desperation. James wasn't exactly shy about wearing his emotions on his sleeve, and while she usually loved him for it, today it was guilt tripping her. Sighing, she took another look at the clock.

"All of the shops are going to be closed."

"We'll find one," he assured her.

"Not a good one."

"I'm sure there has to be a pawn shop or something open. We'll find something."

She shook her head before throwing the covers off of her. "Give me a minute to get dressed."

"I told you it would be closed," she said. It was their third stop, a small, local jewelry store in town that would in no way still be open at such a late hour. It was a futile effort. She knew it, he knew it, everyone they'd asked for suggestions knew it. James was nothing if not determined, however, and she continued to follow him as they came up with new ideas of where to go.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Should we check the dodgy part of town? There might be something open there."

"James, it's nearly one in the morning. The only places open right now are pubs."

"I don't even know what we could get for her at a pub."

Beth shrugged. "Do you want to try one and find out? Maybe the bartender could have some ideas, or at least know some places that would still be open."

He nodded, hurriedly walking back to the car and sliding in. "Worst comes to worst, I could always just buy her a bottle of red wine. She can drink it when getting ready tomorrow or something."

Beth rolled her eyes. "James, she's not going to drink red wine in her wedding dress."

"What?" he asked as they began to drive. "Why not?"

"She's wearing a white dress, right?"

"Yes, but—oh. Maybe white wine then."

She smiled, trying to hold back a yawn as James turned down the empty street. Her body ached for sleep—craved it, really—and yet her mind was still reeling from the earlier events of the day. She was exhausted and yet fully awake, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not get the phrase for real magic out of her head. It was seeping into every fiber of her being, ringing through her head like Quasimodo himself was in charge. This "adventure" had helped tone it out some, but every time they reentered this car it came back, louder and stronger and more declarative than before.

She fidgeted nervously with her fingers, keeping her eyes straight ahead in the midst of the silence. In another time or moment, she might have commented on how they'd hardly managed to stay silent since she'd arrived. Now, though, she wasn't sure she could even begin to joke about the awkwardness she was sure he felt too.

James cleared his throat. "I think I know one we could go to," he said. "We go in there fairly often. They might be able to—."

"I have a question."

It was so random and quick that Beth didn't realize she'd said it until she saw James looking at her. She met his gaze with a long pause as the realization that she'd actually said what she was thinking He looked just as shocked and nervous as she felt. At least she was in good company.

He gulped and turned his head back towards the road. "Yes?"

Well, actually, I have 37, she wanted to respond. Looking down at her hands again, she racked her brain for something, anything, that could help begin to organize the clanging in her mind. She settled on,

"Why was Sirius' first instinct to tell me he was pregnant?"

James let out a loud laugh and looked back at her. "Out of all the questions I'm sure you have, that's the one you start with?"

She raised her hands up. "It's a legitimate question," she defended.

"And you think I have the answer, do you?"

"You would certainly know better than me."

He laughed again, shaking his head. "Beth, I honestly don't know what to tell you about that other than he has a flair for the dramatic."

"Wait, Sirius?" Beth asked in mock confusion. "Really?"

"Shocker, right?"

She laughed along with him, thankful that some of the awkwardness had been alleviated. Taking in a deep breath, she continued, "I do have some questions, though."

He nodded. "I was hoping you would ask them. What do you want to know?"

She started with the first question that popped into her mind. "You've been able to do magic for as long as I've known you?"

He nodded. "As long as I've been alive, actually. It's an inherited trait. Both of my parents can, their parents can."

"And that's why Lily and Sirius and Remus and Peter can too?"

"Only Sirius and Peter have both parents as wizards," he corrected, shifting in his seat. "Remus' dad is a wizard, but his mom isn't. Neither of Lily's parents are, or her younger sister."

"But they knew about all of this beforehand, right?"

James shook his head. "They found out at the same time she did."

"Oh," Beth replied, feeling slightly better knowing she wasn't alone in being completely in the dark. At least with her, it simply changed the way she was viewing the wedding, not her entire lifestyle. "How did they take the news?"

He shrugged. "More or less the same way you did. They've accepted it pretty well, though. Her parents will be at the wedding."

"Not her sister?"

He shook his head. "That's too complicated for one in the morning, though."

She nodded in understanding, deciding to move on to the next question. "Why couldn't you tell me about it earlier?"

He hesitated a moment, then said, "Technically, you're not supposed to know at all."

"Why not?"

"For the same reason it's not common knowledge, I suppose. It breaks the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy."

Beth laughed aloud. "That's a bit of a mouthful."

He smiled along with her. "Yeah, it's a pain in the butt, too. Essentially, it states that we are not allowed to cause any harm or draw notice of muggles, or people who can't do magic, rather. Causes a whole string of messes every day."

"Really?" she asked. "Why?"

"Do you realize how difficult it is to find an integral part of yourself to just a stranger, let alone one of your best friends? It kind of changes your lifestyle."

Beth's heart clenched at that, and she dropped her head down. "I hadn't thought of it like that."

"And there's no reason why you should have," he assured her. "When I was growing up, I was taught to only cross the street after looking both ways and to not let muggles know about magic. It was simply part of my education. But my parents were determined to not let my life be defined by what I could do. There's a lot of people that grow up in this elitist, entitled community where all they know is this wizarding world. That wasn't my parents, though. They knew the importance of not living life in a bubble and appreciating people for who they were, not what they were."

She looked up at him and smiled back when he saw her grinning fondly at her. "And that's how I met you," he said.

Her heart glowed at the memory of meeting him for the first time, remembering how wary they had been of each other initially and how quickly they'd both gotten over it. Never in her wildest dreams would she imagine that she'd only truly be getting to know him all these years later.

"I'm honestly surprised you didn't find it out before now," he joked. "There were a couple of times I thought you'd for sure figured it out."

She shook her head and laughed. "No," she confirmed. "I had no idea."

"I guess we're better at keeping secrets than I thought," he mumbled.

Beth recalled the conversation they'd had only hours ago, a certain story sticking out in her head more than the others. "Sirius apparently isn't, though."

"What?"

She straightened in her chair. "I said, 'Sirius apparently isn't, though.'"

"Oh, you mean him taking away your memories?"

She nodded.

He sighed loudly. "Honestly, Beth, that was probably the best thing he could have done in that situation."

She tensed at his declaration, and she folded her hands tightly in her lap. "I don't know if I agree."

"Yeah," he whispered. "It'd be hard to convince you to."

"I just—" She groaned, trying to find the right words to say, feeling the remnants of hurt resurface. "It just seems like it's such an intrusion of privacy. I mean, have you ever had to do it to me?"

"No."

"So one of my best friends, one that I've known for almost my entire life, hasn't had to take away memories, but this boy I used to date had to in a matter of weeks to save face?"

He nodded. "I know, Beth."

"Doesn't that seem off to you? Doesn't it seem like it should be the other way around?"

"It does."

She threw her hands up in frustration. "So does that mean that you're extra careful or he's extra sloppy?"

James hesitated. "The reason why he did it… I would have done it, too."

She paused at that, but his eyes remained glued to the road, almost as if he was refusing to look at her. "What was it, then?"

He took in a shaky breath. "I can't tell you."

Beth rolled her eyes. "James—"

"I want to tell you. I do. But I can't. He's the one who can tell you why, not me."

"Why?"

He paused as if the words he needed were hanging in the air. "It stems from a very personal matter," he settled on. "It's not my story to tell."

"So you're not going to tell me just like you didn't tell me about this whole double life thing you've got going on?" she snapped.

He shook his head. "You can't manipulate me with that, Beth," he said calmly. "I know you too well. It won't work."

She sighed, murmuring an apology before considering all he'd said. He's the one who can tell you why. "He's not going to want to tell me."

"If you ask him, he will."

She hadn't expected that response. She supposed it was true, but it still took her by surprise. "Well, maybe I don't know if I want to talk to him about it," she offered.

"Beth, with all due respect, you're talking to me."

She shrugged. "You're one of my best friends."

He nodded. "Doesn't it make more sense for you to be mad at the person you've known for what, fifteen years, rather than the person you met this summer?"

"James, of course I'm not going to be mad at you. I'm a little hurt and upset that you didn't tell me, but I'm not mad."

"So you're trying to find a reason to stay mad at him?"

She sighed heavily. Yes. "No."

"Would it change your mind if I said that he was the one who decided to tell you, not me?"

Beth's brow furrowed. "He was the one?"

James nodded.

"But why?"

"Because he wanted to be open and honest with you, and I still wanted to hold onto the idea that everything would be okay if you never knew."

Her face dropped. "Why wouldn't you want me to know?"

He sighed, clutching the steering wheel a little tighter as they turned down the street. "Because it's still dangerous," he said. "The war that we told you about, it's real. We have every protection imaginable ready for tomorrow, and I can personally guarantee that nothing will happen to you. But it's dangerous, and I didn't want you to have to be involved in something you had no reason to worry about."

It made sense, she supposed. If the war was truly as terrible as they had been saying, it would stand to reason that they wouldn't tell her about it. What was the point of terrifying someone for no reason? "But what if something had happened to you? What was I going to be told?"

He grimaced. "Thankfully, now we'll never have to know."

Beth took in everything he'd said as they turned into the pub car park. It made sense. She certainly had fewer questions. There were some still pressing in the back of her mind, of course, but she knew enough to keep her satisfied, at least for the time being. Had she completely processed all that she'd been told today? Absolutely not. But he was her friend, and instead of someone who had lied to her in the name of keeping her safe, the only person she could still manage to see was the five-year-old boy that had lived next door. She saw the countless hours at the park, the sleepovers in matching pajamas, and the snowball fights in clothing that made them look like marshmallows.

He had hidden an importantly huge part of his life from her. That was hard to swallow. There was an entire side to him that she'd never known, and she figured she would never fully understand. But for now, she was here. She'd spent years cultivating and maintaining their friendship, determined to never let it fade, and now she was mere hours away from watching him marry the love of his life.

It didn't matter that she didn't know as much as she thought she did about him. What she knew was that he was her friend. He had always been her friend. That much had never changed. Through all the magic, through all the secrets, their friendship had never wavered, and in the end, wasn't that what was most important?

"I'm glad you know about everything, now," James said after a moment. "I'm sorry it took so long to tell you, but now that you know, I'm really glad that you do."

"Really?" she smiled.

"Of course." He turned his head, looking at her fully for the first time since they'd gotten into the car. "You're one of the closest friends I have. If I lost you, I wouldn't ever have an excuse to travel to the States."

She laughed. "I'm glad I know where my worth is at."

"Yes, that's the only thing you have going for you."

Beth laughed again, moving to open the door, but James spoke, "But listen, don't be mad at Sirius."

She sank back into her seat. "Why not?"

"You have every right to be, I get that." He unbuckled his seat belt. "But try not to be. Try to listen to him. He really wanted to make sure we told you everything in the least threatening, most lighthearted way."

"Oh, so that's why he told me he was pregnant."

"Unless you actually knocked him up and have something to tell me," he said, wriggling his eyebrows in suspicion.

She lightly pushed him and rolled her eyes. "Let's go get Lily some wine."

A/N: Hello, and happy new year! Nimblescrivener practically wrote this chapter, so give her a big hand for all of her hard work.

The wedding is the next chapter! We've made so much progress, and there's still so much to go! What do you think will happen? How do you think it'll all go down? Do you think she'll actually leave and go back? Let me know!

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