Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing- I hope to update more regularly until September :) enjoy!

"How have you been, Remus? I feel like we haven't really spoken since you left the first time."

They were walking up the stairs near Gryffindor Tower. Minerva had summoned them, along with Tonks and Bill who were downstairs, for a special patrol night. Gwen was tired and had come straight from work- high heels and all- but this was necessary. Professor Dumbledore had left the school on an important journey, but was due back before morning, and had requested multiple Order members on guard. Remus hadn't been on the patrol schedule this school year, and Gwen knew he hadn't been back to Hogwarts since he quit the DADA post in 1994. He kept looking over his shoulder- for Death Eaters or former students, she couldn't tell.

But he sighed at her question. "War takes a toll on a man, Gwen." She nodded grimly, truly understanding what he meant. Even if he had just been in the underground with werewolves for months on end and she had been safe here.

"I know what you mean. It takes a toll on a woman, too."

He cracked a slight smile. "I've heard the homefront has been rather dreary."

"Dreary is better than eventful, I suppose." She stopped walking and looked at her companion. "It's been a year since Sirius died." She couldn't believe she hadn't remembered. The anniversary was about 2 weeks ago.

He nodded slowly and stood beside her. "So it has. It feels like a lifetime ago and just yesterday all at once." They looked at a portrait on the wall of a woman dancing in a pink dress. She looked so jolly. "And it seems like centuries since I was a student here."

"I agree," she said softly, remembering her first time walking up these stairs. She had been in absolute awe. "Why do you think the Sorting Hat put us in Gryffindor?"

Remus laughed. "What a question! I don't know. I suppose the Sorting Hat is good at guessing what type of people we were to become."

"Maybe we put too much weight on what House we're Sorted into at age eleven," she wondered aloud.

"I think you're right," he agreed. They continued to walk in the silence of the sixth floor. She wondered if she should stay over tonight. She wondered if Severus was here or at a meeting.

His story and the immense amount of trust he placed in her last night had been on her mind all day.

There was a shout from the distance and the two whipped out their wands. "Where is that coming from?" She whispered. He silently pointed up and they hurried to the stairs. There were thundering footsteps coming down.

"Be ready!" He hissed and she grasped her wand. All her training was for this moment! The footsteps grew louder and louder and her heart was beating faster and faster. They were about to be face to face with-

"Ron?!" Gwen exclaimed. She was flooded with relief until she saw the look of terror on his face. Beside him stood Ginny and Neville, looking equally scared.

"Thank Merlin you're here! There are Death Eaters in the castle!"

"What do you mean? How do you know?" Remus asked hurriedly

"Malfoy let them in! He used Peruvian Darkness Powder so we couldn't see, but it's them! They're here!" Ginny's voice was full of panic.

"Where were they?"

"By the Room of Requirement, upstairs!" Neville exclaimed.

"Send a Patronus to Minerva," Remus told Gwen. "Ron, show me where they were. Wands out, everyone!" Remus and the children hurried up the stairs, wands at the ready. Gwen watched them go, feeling panic arise in her throat. She breathed in deeply and thought of her mother, then sent her swan Patronus off to Professor McGonagall with an urgent message to hurry to the seventh floor.

"Here we go," Gwen murmured to herself. She could almost feel Sirius beside her, encouraging her, telling her she'd be grand and it'd be alright, just like he had a year ago. Hopefully, the outcome would be better this time. Her wand at the ready, she hurried up the stairs after Remus.

She reached the seventh floor and heard shouts and sparks from down the hall. She ran towards the noises, her heart nearly about to burst out of her chest. She sped around the corner and found herself in the middle of a fight. Draco Malfoy and a group of Death Eaters were sending spells towards them, but the spells seemed to be nearly bouncing off the children. A rather large Death Eater she had never seen before shot a spell off at her but she easily blocked it. Severus was right- these Death Eaters were easy to fight.

A few minutes later, Tonks, Bill, and McGonagall burst onto the scene, sending Stunners left and right. The Death Eaters seemed taken aback by the addition to their team and suddenly scattered. One went into a classroom, another into a different hallway. A few ran down the hall. "Split up, we have to get them!" Remus shouted as a spell flew over his head.

"I've sent Fillius to fetch Severus to come help!" Minerva shouted as Gwen dashed into the classroom after one of the Death Eaters. She faintly registered what the professor had said.

"Stupify!" The Death Eater shouted but she easily blocked it and sent back a stunner that the Death Eater dodged. They were circling the classroom, shouting off spells and blocking and dodging them quickly. The Death Eater dashed out of the room back into the hallway and Gwen chased after him. She felt her foot slip out of her heel and she fell flat onto the floor, her shoes both coming off her feet.

"Well, well, well. Sweet, juicy, succulent meat." She looked up and there was a rather atrocious looking man with fanged teeth. She began to scream and started looking for her wand, but the man pinned her to the floor. She started kicking and writhing, feeling the terror completely flood her body. He was almost at her neck-

The man was flung off her body and Bill Weasley stood above her. "Get up! Run! They're headed for the Astronomy Tower!" She wordlessly did what she was told, leaving her shoes behind, and ran towards the tower, trying not to think about Bill Weasley saving her life.

The entrance to the Tower was right around the bend. A Death Eater was dead on the floor and the large Death Eater was sending Killing Curses in every direction. She threw herself against the wall in order to avoid one. She sent a stunner towards him and he fell back, sending a Killing Curse towards Ginny, who dodged it rather sloppily. Gwen's heart started racing and she ran over to aid Ginny as another Death Eater was sending curses at her.

"Ginny, where's Harry?" Gwen asked as she petrified the Death Eater they had been fighting.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him all night!" Ginny looked worried and Gwen felt a great fear within her. Harry...

She noticed that three Death Eaters, including the one who had tried to attack her, were racing up the tower. Neville chased after them, but as he tried to go up the stairs, he was thrown back and collided into Tonks. They quickly leapt to their feet.

She heard running from behind her and she turned and there was Severus, approaching the tower. She heard a Death Eater shout and she whipped around and sent a Stunner directly at her. The Death Eater was thrown back and Gwen turned back to Severus, who was near her now. He didn't look at her, but his hand brushed hers as he quickly passed. He seemed to be in a haze and spoke to no one. No one dared attack him because everyone believed he was on their side. He hurried through the battlefield and went up the stairs to the tower.

Lupin rushed over to follow him but was flung back just as Neville had been.

The battle continued. Gwen and a Death Eater were in a full-fledged fight, running down the hall and shooting spells at one another, when Gwen tripped over something and fell on her face. Luckily, Hermione Granger petrified the Death Eater she had been fighting. Gwen looked to see what she had tripped on.

"Bill!" There he was, gashes all over his face, passed out on the floor. She pressed her ear to his chest and felt a slow, hesitant heartbeat. "Oh Merlin, Bill!" Every ounce of hate and anger towards him melted away as she saw him on the floor. He had saved her life. It was time to return the favor.

She heard a rumbling noise and half the ceiling caved in. The fat Death Eater's Killing Curses were certainly causing more havoc than anything else. The dust and debris filled the air and she started coughing viciously, her arms around Bill. She had to get him out of here, to the Hospital Wing, to safety.

"It's over, time to go!" She turned around. Severus emerged from the dust, followed by Draco Malfoy. They hurried past her and every Death Eater in the room followed suit. She turned back to Bill.

"Remus!" She shouted into the dust. He hurried over with Tonks. "It's Bill! I think he was… bitten."

"Greyback," Remus hissed angrily. He crouched down beside her and picked up Bill's limp body. "We have to get him to Madame Pomfrey."

"That was Greyback?" She asked Tonks as they hurried to the Hospital Wing.

"Yes, he was here," she said solemnly. "That's the werewolf that bit Remus."

Gwen's eyes widened. Would Bill be a werewolf? If it had been her instead, would she have been? She hurried behind Remus and Tonks, her arms crossed over her chest in anxiousness and guilt. She had been the one too slow. A moment of weakness and Greyback had pounced onto her. It was her fault.

Her mind went back to Harry. She began inquiring after him. Hermione told her that Harry had accompanied Professor Dumbledore out that night and that she had since seen him running after the Death Eaters.

She felt a pang of fear, but then she remembered Severus was with the Death Eaters. Harry would be okay.

They reached the Hospital Wing and a very frantic Madame Pomfrey directed them to place Bill on a bed at the far side of the wing. She began forcing potions down his throat and putting ointments on his face.

"Greyback was not in his werewolf form?" The matron asked.

"No," Tonks said, sounding repulsed. "He just likes human flesh all the time, no matter the phase of the moon."

Tonks, Gwen, Remus, Hermione, Ron, and Luna gathered around Bill's bedside. Neville Longbottom had climbed into the first bed he saw and promptly fallen asleep.

Finally, she was able to reflect. Well, she had done it. She had really battled, with true confidence and skill. She was proud of herself- it was a huge improvement from the Department of Mysteries. Severus had always said that they would know if she had mastered what he taught her when she completed her first battle and now she had. But yet… today, like last year, she blamed herself for the harm of another. She had been Sirius's partner that day and he was dead. Bill had been attacked defending her from Greyback because she had tripped on her shoe like a fool.

The doors opened and Ginny and Harry entered the wing. A tension she didn't realize she was holding in was released from her body. Gwen hurried over to Harry and hugged him; Lupin moved forward too, looking anxious.

"Are you all right, Harry?" He asked.

"I'm fine... How's Bill?"

Nobody answered. Madam Pomfrey was dabbing at his wounds with some harsh-smelling green ointment. "Can't you fix them with a charm or something?" Harry asked the matron.

"No charm will work on these," said Madam Pomfrey. "I've tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites."

"But he wasn't bitten at the full moon," said Ron, who was gazing down into his brother's face as though he could somehow force him to mend just by staring. "Greyback hadn't transformed, so surely Bill won't be a - a real - ?" He looked at Lupin with uncertainty.

"No, I don't think that Bill will be a true werewolf," said Lupin. "But that does not mean that there won't be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully, and - and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on." That should have been me... She felt herself sink into the guilt. She shouldn't have run.

"Dumbledore might know something that'd work, though," Ron said. "Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore's orders, Dumbledore owes him, he can't leave him in this state -"

"Ron - Dumbledore's dead," said Ginny.

"No!" Lupin shouted, looking absolutely mad. Gwen gripped onto the chair in front of her. She felt the world turn upside down. Dumbledore dead? Impossible! She had just seen him yesterday, just spoken to him last night...

"How did he die?" Tonks whispered, daring to say what everyone else had been thinking. "How did it happen?"

Nothing could have braced her for what came next.

"Snape killed him."

She felt her knees go weak and she was unable to breathe. She felt herself fall into the first chair she saw. Her mind was frozen. She couldn't comprehend what Harry had said. He continued to speak, but she couldn't hear him anymore. The world around her had vanished.

A few moments passed. Somewhere out in the darkness, a phoenix was singing in a way Gwen had never heard before: a stricken lament of terrible beauty. It pierced through the silence she had created around herself, straight through to her heart that was aching of betrayal. She looked out the window into the night and saw the bright stars twinkling to the song of the Phoenix.

"You know phoenixes can sing? It's supposed to be one of the most beautiful sounds ever. But it only happens when they're mourning."

She closed her eyes and felt the tears she had been holding back stream down her face. Why did he tell her about Lily if it meant nothing? Why did he act as though he cared about her if this had been the plan all along? Oh, she was so stupid! She felt anger and intense sadness fill her body. This war was a game and he played it very well.

"Molly and Arthur are on their way." Professor McGonagall entered the ward. "Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid you were with Professor Dumbledore when he- when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved in some- "

"Snape killed Dumbledore," said Harry, again.

Minerva stared at him for a moment, then swayed alarmingly; Madam Pomfrey, who seemed to have pulled herself together, ran forward, conjuring a chair from thin air, which she pushed under McGonagall. Gwen closed her eyes. If anyone was feeling the sense of personal betrayal she was, it was Minerva.

"Really?" McGonagall shrieked "No need for that when you completely missed your first class and your second one begins in thirty minutes? You're never late for anything, what was I to do? Just hope you were fine and weren't killed at a meeting?"

"Snape," repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. "We all wondered... but he trusted... always… Snape... I can't believe it..."

"Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens," said Lupin, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. "We always knew that."

"Who taught you this?" Gwen asked suddenly. It seemed a very difficult art to learn.

"The Dark Lord started with me and Dumbledore finished," he said calmly, as though it was very natural to have both of the great wizards as teachers.

Why didn't anything make sense...

"But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!" whispered Tonks. "I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn't..."

"Everyone asks Dumbledore why he trusts me. Why I left the Dark Lord. This is why. I swore him to secrecy nearly sixteen years ago and he has kept his word. Swear you won't tell. Promise me, Gwendolyn."

"I promise."

"He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape," muttered Professor McGonagall, now dabbing at the corners of her leaking eyes with a tartan-edged handkerchief. "I mean... with Snape's history... of course people were bound to wonder... but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape's repentance was absolutely genuine- Wouldn't hear a word against him!"

"I'd love to know what Snape told him to convince him," said Tonks.

"I know," said Harry, and they all turned to look at him. "Snape passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down my mum and dad. Then Snape told Dumbledore he hadn't realized what he was doing, he was really sorry he'd done it, sorry that they were dead."

"I will always protect her son."

"And Dumbledore believed that?" said Lupin incredulously. "Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James..."

"And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn either," said Harry, "because she was Muggle-born... 'Mudblood,' he called her..." How did Harry know about that? Had Remus or Sirius told him? But they didn't know the rest…

"This is all my fault," said Professor McGonagall suddenly. She looked disoriented, twisting her wet handkerchief in her hands. "My fault. I sent Filius to fetch Snape tonight, I actually sent for him to come and help us! If I hadn't alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never have joined forces with the Death Eaters. I don't think he knew they were there before Filius told him, I don't think he knew they were coming." He must have known. Why else would he have shown her those blasted memories yesterday if he hadn't known? But why? Why? She felt herself going mad, the one-word question echoing itself over and over again in her mind.

"It isn't your fault, Minerva," said Lupin firmly. "We all wanted more help, we were glad to think Snape-"

"Excuse me," Gwen felt herself say. She stood up and all eyes were on her now. Perhaps they were just realizing that she had been silent this entire time. "Forgive me, I just don't feel well at all. I ought to be going home now."

"Are you alright? Perhaps you should stay here," Tonks asked, looking concerned. Madame Pomfrey glanced over at her from where she was tending to Bill, tears streaming down her face.

"No, truly, I'd really like to go home." Tonks took her best friend's shaking hand. Why can't I stop shaking? She started moving towards the door.

"Should someone walk with you?" She heard someone say, not registering who it was.

"No," she said softly. "I'll be fine. Please. Forgive me… I have to go." And she quickly left the room and hurried down the hall.

"Is she all right?" asked Hermione, glancing towards the door Gwen had just walked through.

"I don't think any of us are," Madame Pomfrey said sadly, still tending to Bill.

"No, I think there's more," Lupin said quietly, also staring at the now empty doorframe. "I think she's upset about Snape."

"She and Snape were friends, weren't they?" Ginny asked.

"I saw them talking at Slughorn's Christmas party" Harry asked, sounding disgusted. "She trusted him, too. She always defended him..."

"Well, some thought they were more than friends," Lupin muttered.

"No." Tonks said firmly. "They weren't more than friends. She told me- she wouldn't lie to me! I'm her best friend!"

"I don't believe there was anything," Professor McGonagall said quietly, looking uncomfortable. "But I think Snape took a fancy to her." It was a little odd to speak of such a cold-hearted murderer fancying someone.

"I agree," said Lupin. Tonks was about to interrupt him, so he hurried to finish his thought. "I don't think they were involved. Maybe he did fancy her, but she definitely didn't return the feelings." Everyone slowly nodded in agreement and few people glanced over at Bill. Lupin was right, they thought. Gwen's heart was somewhere else. "But they were friends. And who else in the Order can say they were actually, truly friends with Snape?"

Nobody said anything.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She knew where she needed to go.

Down and down and down all the stairs of the immense castle. The air got colder and colder as she approached the dungeons.

She reached his rooms and was pleased to find them unlocked. She quietly entered the dark sitting room area. It was neat and orderly, like usual. This was the room where he taught her. She didn't feel his presence or hear echoes of the memories they shared here. It just felt empty.

She made her way over to the bedroom. She stopped before opening the door. If she imagined hard enough, she could pretend he was on the other side of the door. But he wasn't. There was no use in pretending.

She pushed the door open and there was the bedroom. Her eyes immediately went to the bed. She had made that bed this morning. She was tempted to go sit upon it but decided against it. It was tainted.

Sighing, she went over to the closet. She had left spare clothes here and needed to retrieve them. Any evidence of her staying here would make the Order and Aurors suspicious when they inevitably turned these rooms upside down looking for any sort of clue. She opened the closet and to her surprise, nothing that belonged to her was inside. She shifted through his robes and shirts but found nothing of hers. She hurried over to the bathroom and saw her soaps and combs were gone as well.

It was as if she had never been there.

She wandered back into the bedroom and noticed the light of the stars coming from the window. The clouds had gone. She stared up and out at them, just as she had with Severus by her side the night before.

"Why did you kill him?" She whispered to the stars, as though Severus was right beside her. But he wasn't and he wouldn't be again because he had betrayed her. He had lied to her- to all of them. She felt sick. She had to leave.

She was about to hurry out when she remembered something. "Accio Photo!"

But nothing flew to her hand. She hurried over to the desk and checked the drawers. The photo was gone too.

She hurried out of the castle and across the grounds to Hogsmeade. She hadn't gone back to retrieve her shoes, but she didn't care. She ran with the grass under her feet. The wind was whipping her face. She wanted to feel alive again.

But nothing helped.

She reached her home in the village and went to her bedroom. She opened her closet to get a change of clothes when she saw all the clothes she had left at Hogwarts.

How did he... Oh, who cared.

She changed and got into bed. She had made sure to never sleep with a man in her bed ever again. She thought it would make it easier to sleep. How wrong she was.