November 1979.

There are things in life that are non-negotiable needs: water, food, shelter. Whether we learn about them in school or from personal experience, these facts of life remain indelible. There are other factors that appear to be necessary for life, but in fact are simply desires: new clothing, nice bedsheets, solid pairs of shoes. And while those desires may seem customary and essential to maintaining a life worth living, the fact of the matter is one can do without. It may not be comfortable, it may not be exciting, but at the end of the day, those desires fade off when you sleep. Water, food, shelter. These are the things that may not be ignored.

But as Sirius Black looked toward the sleeping figure beside him, he realized that there was one thing that constantly skirted the line between a desire and need for him: companionship. Relationship.

Contact.

He lifted a cigarette to his mouth and took in a long drag. To be fair to himself, he hadn't been the one to initiate this tonight. Marlene had been the one to seek him out, to strike up a conversation, to offer to buy him a drink, and to eventually suggest they pick up where they'd left off. It'd been nearly ten months since their last late night tryst, right before she'd begun dating Dorcas Meadows' cousin. When she'd looked at him with pleading eyes earlier tonight after describing the nasty breakup she'd just endured though, he'd been powerless to say anything but yes.

They had talked once about entering a legitimate relationship, sweaty and out of breath and entirely too drunk to be having such a discussion. They talked of safaris and road trips and endless sex for several minutes before reality began to sink in on them. It wouldn't have ever worked between them. The only thing the two had in common was their attraction to one another, and that alone wasn't going to save any hope of a relationship between them. So they agreed to stolen moments like this when desperation was high and the need to simply be with someone overwhelming. They'd been meeting up since their fifth year, and, outside of the Marauders, was the most dependable friendship he had.

And it wasn't enough.

He took in one last drag, then smashed the cigarette into the ashtray and leaned back into his pillow with a sigh. He supposed this would be the last time he'd get to have a moment like this for a while. Marlene, bless her soul, had offered to take the mission he'd received before all of this had happened, but he didn't have the strength to accept it. He'd simply waved it off, insisting that he would be fine. He knew she'd heard the strain in his voice, but she'd said nothing more about it, instead moving in closer and placing a hand on his thigh.

He couldn't describe why it wasn't enough. Lately, hardly anything had been enough. He'd thought for a while that it was all because of Beth, but even then, it hadn't been enough. She'd flirted and kissed and smiled her way into his life, and he'd been very, very fond of her, to be sure. But even after finally sneaking his way into her bed, he'd felt slightly empty. The night with her had been wonderful, sure, and he'd replayed moment after moment in his mind; but that desire, that need for companionship and relationship and contact had not been fulfilled by her either. Meaninglessness shouldn't logically follow pleasure. So why was that all he felt?

Marlene stirred beside him, and he reached out to brush his fingers down her back. This was contact. This was a relationship of sorts. There was certainly an element of companionship. Perhaps he was simply reading into things too deeply. Perhaps everything he wanted was laying right there.

Or perhaps his need wasn't for those things. Perhaps it was for something else, something stronger.

Love?

Doubtful.

But possible.

He'd fallen in love once. Emory Brown. He hadn't meant for it to happen, hadn't even realized it was on its way until he opened his eyes one morning and realized he was miserable. It was unrequited, that much he knew for certain, and he'd worked hard to worm the girl out of his heart before anyone else found out. It was a pain he had not been prepared for, falling out of love with her, and it was why he'd began relentlessly pursuing others, desperately trying to fill that void.

Now it was catching up to him.

Love had never crossed his mind with any of the girls he'd been with since Emory. Peter had insisted he'd been in love with Beth, but he'd simply loved having her around. Seeing her as often as they all had been helped confirm that. Lately, he'd found himself counting down the days until they'd get to see her again. He'd gone out of his way to try to be there as often as possible, mainly to have an excuse to escape from everything for a couple of hours. The last time he'd visited, for example, had been with James. She'd taken them to the movies, having found a theater that was still playing Alien, and for two hours had been able to forget about everything except Ripley standing in her underwear. It had been a welcome distraction, what he'd needed for the time being, and she'd guessed it before he had.

Maybe she'd be able to help him figure out what he needed again.

Marlene shifted once more, this time turning to face toward him. Her eyes fluttered open when he ran a hand down her arm, rubbing it gently.

"You're still up?" she mumbled.

Sirius nodded his head once. "Couldn't sleep."

"Want some help?"

He smiled. "You're still asleep."

"Mm," she mumbled in agreement. "Maybe you should wake me up."

He brought his hand back up her arm, moving to cradle her cheek. In return, she moved closer to him until her chest was only centimeters away from his.

This certainly wasn't what he needed. It wasn't what he necessarily wanted, either. But it would do, for now, he thought, and moved to press his lips against hers.

Several hours later, Sirius knocked on a familiar door, peering his head in to see the woman he'd been searching for sitting on a couch, reading a book. Smiling, he opened the door wider. "Hello, mum."

Euphemia Potter looked up at him and smiled widely. "Hello, darling," she said as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. "You smell of sex."

"What a relief," Sirius replied as he sat down next to her. "I was wondering what had been going on all that time."

She rolled her eyes, setting her book on the table next to them. "Who was it this time? That Elizabeth girl?"

"No, that was weeks ago. Marlene dropped by."

"Marlene McKinnon? Again? I thought she was with—"

"She was with. They had a bit of a falling out."

"And now you're dating her?"

"I wouldn't necessarily say dating," he said, drawing out the last word.

"Oh, Sirius." She shook her head and grasped his hand tight. "I do wish you would find someone and just stick with them. I'm having a hard time remembering all of these names."

"What, and be like James?" he teased. "One person for the rest of my life? I've never loved someone that deeply."

"You've never given it the chance to find out if you did."

"That's because the only woman's love I've ever been interested in is yours," he said, pressing a kiss to her hand.

She rolled her eyes but kept the grip on his hand tight. He felt his heart clench in response as he took in her weary form. Her face was thinner since the last time he saw her, and her hands were becoming frail and bony. He could only imagine how Fleamont was doing. The doctors had discovered the disease in him first before realizing that Euphemia was suffering the same fate several weeks later. It had been a trying few days since the news had been broken, and for a long while, there were only tears shared between everyone. As the days transformed into weeks and the realization that time was running short began to settle, everyone had spent a little more time visiting and hugging the Potter's, always coming in expecting the worst. He'd come in today expecting the worst. The light that he saw in her eyes, though, bright and sparkling and full of life, anchored him back to reality. She was still there, still breathing, still alive. He stared down at their joined hands. She was still there.

She just wasn't all there.

"You're staring."

Her voice brought his eyes up to her, and he bit his tongue hard to keep his face stoic. "I'm sorry." He took in a shaky breath. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "I've been better. My dear husband, he's the one I'm worried about."

"I'm sure he's just as worried about you."

"Maybe he is," she nodded. "We try not to talk about it much."

He looked down. "Ignoring it won't make it go away."

"We know that," she said, patting his hand. "But death happens every day. We're just lucky to be going through it together." His throat clenched. "Makes it easier for us that way."

"Easier for you," he repeated quietly. "What about everyone else?"

She laughed. "You poor thing. I'm sorry. How are you doing?"

He tried to match her laugh, tried to be joyful and happy around her. But as he looked at her weary face, he found the only thing he could feel was hurt.

"You're the only mother I've ever known." He cleared his throat. "What am I going to do when you're…"

He brought his head down, unable to finish the sentence. Tears were welling up in his eyes. Furiously, he wiped them away with his free hand, trying to calm his rapidly increasing breathing.

"Darling," his mother whispered, reaching her free hand up to stroke his cheek. "If you're going to be that torn up about it, I'll promise to haunt you."

A smile escaped despite his best efforts. She leaned in, pressing her forehead against his. "I'm never going to leave you," she said. "You know that, right? No matter how hard you might try to get rid of me, I'll always be right here." She placed their joined hands on his heart, pulling back to look into his eyes. "Right here. Do you understand me, Sirius? I'm not going anywhere."

One tear rolled down his cheek in response. Smiling, she gently wiped it away before moving his hair out of his eyes. "You are my son," she stated clearly. "I care about you, I am proud of you, and I love you."

She had told him once that there were two important aspects to any relationship: trust and love. Without either of these two things, the relationship could not survive. It is the lack of one of these that brings an end to marriages, crumples relationships between family, and reopens wounds that had previously healed. "To deny the importance of one brings about the destruction of the other," she'd said. Sirius knew this all too well from personal experience. It was why it had been so easy to leave his life when he finally made the decision to go. There was no feeling of loss when he left, no trust broken, no love missed. He had walked out, uncaring of the consequences of doing so, and had gone immediately to James.

And yet, it had not been James that had met him upon his arrival. It had been this glorious woman sitting next to him, a book in her hand and a cuppa sitting on the table, both immediately forgotten as soon as he walked through the door. It had been her who had caught him when he crumpled down on the floor, sobbing and hurting and broken. It had been her who had stroked his back, who had whispered words of comfort, who had healed the bruises left from the several curses Walburga had so carelessly thrown his way. It had been her who stayed with him that night, letting him lay in her lap and stroking his head until sleep finally found him. And it had been her who had said to him for the first time ever in his life, "I love you."

It was the first time in his entire life that he learned about what a relationship truly could mean. He'd trusted her with every secret he'd ever kept that night, telling her things that he hadn't even told James before, and she'd listened to every single word. His friendship with the Marauders was the glue that held and continued to hold him together all these years; but it was this woman, the one and only mother he would recognize in his life, that had helped him stand back up.

So when she opened up her arms as another tear fell, he leaned into them quickly, relishing in the warmth of what Walburga never managed to spare, relishing in the trust and love that radiated off of her, and relished in how easy it was to respond with, "I love you too, mum."

But this love hurt too. This love was leaving him. This love couldn't stay.

Merlin, he truly had absolutely no idea what it was that he needed.

Whether they stayed that way for twenty minutes or twenty hours, Sirius honestly did not know. He took everything that she was willing to give, and she was more than willing. The only thing that ended up breaking them apart was Fleamont Potter himself walking inside.

"Oh, Merlin, what's this nonsense?"

Euphemia pulled back with a genuine smile as Sirius wiped his face with his sleeve. "Sirius just dropped by for a chat."

"A chat that ends with tears and a hug?" he asked, walking towards his wife. "Must have been dreary."

She pressed a quick kiss to his lips as he leaned down. "Absolutely terrible."

He then turned to Sirius, extending a hand out to him as he stood up. "Good to see you, son."

Sirius grasped his hand and hugged him, patting him on the back twice. "You too."

Fleamont kept a hand on Sirius' shoulder as he pulled away. "Why do you smell like sex?"

"It's Marlene again," Euphemia said, standing up as well.

"Marlene again? I thought she was with—"

"Do I really smell that strongly?"

"Yes," they both responded.

"Fine, fine," Sirius mumbled to himself, pulling out his wand and casting a spell to be rid of the stench. "I'm actually glad you caught it, I need to be off."

"So soon?"

"Yeah," he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket's pockets. "Another mission from Dumbledore. That's actually why I came by."

"It's been a while since your last one, hasn't it?"

Sirius nodded.

"How long's this one?" Fleamont asked.

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Three weeks, I think. Maybe two. A bit longer than the other ones."

"What are you doing there?" Euphemia asked.

"I'm making sure our protocol in case of an attack matches with their's," he explained. "Dumbledore wants us to appear as a united front."

"That's what they did against Grindelwald," Fleamont stated. "It's smart. Important. You're doing a good thing."

Sirius nodded sharply. "I know it is," he said. "I'm just worried about possibly running into Regulus. I don't know if I have the balls to off him if it became necessary."

"Oh, don't worry," Euphemia said. "The chances of you running into him must be slim."

"The chances of me being stationed where I am were slim." Sirius swallowed hard. "That's why I'm worried about these chances."

"Where are you at?"

"He can't tell you, dear," Euphemia reminded.

"Ah, Dumbledore and his rules," he murmured, shaking his head. "You have a place to stay, though?"

Sirius nodded again, uncertainly. "I have a place in mind. Have to make sure it's all right with the owner, first."

"Always a smart thing to do."

"Well, be careful, darling," his mother said, wrapping him up in one last hug and kissing him on the cheek. "Write to us if you can."

"I will," he promised, before moving to the older man and doing the same. "Promise me you'll both hold off on any major life changes until I get back."

"No promises," Fleamont said, shaking his head. "I was thinking of knocking the missus up after you'd left."

"Oh, honestly." She gently swatted her husband's arm before turning back to Sirius. "We'll do our best, darling. Don't hate us if we can't keep that promise, though."

He gave them a sad smile before walking toward the fireplace, gathering a handful of Floo powder in his hand. He turned back to them just before he threw it, taking in one last sight of the only parents he'd truly known.

"I love you both."

"We love you, son," Fleamont responded.

And with the feeling of trust and love surrounding him, Sirius left.

He stood far from the door after knocking as if it was going to bite him.

Thankfully, it didn't, nor did it appear that it was going to, but he stood away from it nonetheless.

There was always something slightly uncomfortable about the idea of inviting oneself over. It had taken him two summers to understand that when the Potter's had said, "Come over anytime," they literally meant anytime. Once he had appeared while everyone else had gone and had sat on the couch waiting for them to return. When they finally had, they had been mad at him for not eating something despite him being hungry, not that he was in their house alone.

But that was the Potter's, the people that had taken him in as family, whom he had only hours ago embraced and said goodbye. This was an entirely different situation of which he had absolutely no idea how it was going to go.

He shifted on his feet and put the bag in his hand down, waiting for some semblance of sound coming from the other side. He had no idea how to even begin this conversation. Hello, I know this is all very untoward, but I was wondering if I could stay with you. That could work. Prim, proper, understanding.

Total bollocks.

I'm staying here.

Insistent. Direct. Abrupt. Also, most likely to get him kicked in the shin. Or somewhere much, much worse.

He turned around, rubbing his face with his hands. This was ridiculous. What was he doing here? He should have taken Marlene's offer. This had every bit of potential to turn sour, and then what was he going to do? Go back to Dumbledore and say, "Oh, sorry sir, but I couldn't complete the mission because the only person I could stay with was—"

"Hey."

Sirius abruptly turned back to face the woman standing in front of him. "Hi."

"Hi," Beth responded. She crossed her arms tight against her, face confused and concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"You've a towel on your head."

He grimaced at himself. What kind of a response—

"I have, very astute of you to notice."

He took in a deep breath, wondering how the best way to get this question out would be. As far as he could see, there was no easy way. Rip off the bandaid, he thought to himself. Just tell her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Would you believe me if I said I was in the neighborhood?"

"No."

Sirius laughed shakily. "Good, that wouldn't be true." He shuffled his feet, looking down at them for a brief moment before meeting her eyes directly. "I have a proposition for you."

Her eyebrows lifted. "A proposition?"

He took a deep breath. "How would you like a roommate for an undetermined amount of time?"

Well done, he praised himself as he let the air out. Ripped off the bandaid.

Apparently, Beth did not ascertain that the same courtesy was expected from her response.

At his question, she let out a heavy sigh, bringing her fingers to rest against her forehead. She looked almost… pained. Pained by what she'd heard. Pained by what he'd asked. Out of all of the reactions he'd thought she might have, somehow pain was not one that crossed his mind. He continued looking at her, waiting for her response, until she finally turned back towards the door, opening it wide.

"Come on, then."

Sirius had begun explaining everything the second the door had closed. Beth had listened intently, taking her hair out of the towel and patting it dry as he spoke. He'd told her everything, every single detail he could think of, in hopes that she would realize he had no part in stationing himself here. Dumbledore was very secretive in disclosing locations to others, and Sirius himself hadn't known where he was being sent until yesterday night. He'd known the mission, known what he had been sent to do, but was just as shocked as Beth now was to hear that it was only minutes from where she lived. He'd been momentarily baffled. Now, she was facing the same thing.

"So you just happened to be assigned here?" she questioned, obviously unconvinced.

He shook his head. "Beth, it could not have been more out of my control if I tried."

She sighed, sitting down on the couch opposite him. "It just all seems very convenient. Too convenient."

"It does," he agreed. "It does very much, and I completely understand your disbelief. I reacted the same way when I heard. If it's that much of an issue for you, I won't force my stay. I'll find a hotel."

"No," she responded immediately, shaking her head, though that slightly pained look still remained. "You're not staying in a hotel. Of course, you can stay here."

"It's really no trouble," he said. "If you genuinely don't want me to stay here, I'll understand."

"It's fine."

She'd spoken sharply but was now staring at her hands, fidgeting with them nervously. He leaned forward, knowing she still had more to say.

"But?" he prompted.

She sighed, bringing her eyes back up to meet his. "I can't keep giving up my life for you guys, Sirius."

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I have classes I have to go to, I have tests coming up, I'm going to be studying, I have friends I'm going to see, I have a date tonight—"

"You have a date?" he interrupted.

"Yeah." She pointed to her hair. "That's why there was a towel on my head."

"Ah."

An uncomfortable silence reigned between them before Beth finally laughed exasperatedly. "I wasn't—You weren't—This is what I'm talking about. I can't—I mean, I'm not—I won't give up my life just because you're here."

"I'm not asking you to."

"But no, see, that's what's going to happen. I'm going to be off, and I'm going to be having a nice time, and he's going to say, 'Do you want to go back to my place?' and I'm going to have to say no because you're here—"

"Why would you have to do that?"

"Because," she threw up her hands, "I can't say yes knowing you're here because then the next day you're going to say something about it and then you and I are going to get in a big fight and you'll leave and I'll never get to see James again because he'll take your side—"

"Beth."

"And then Remus'll drop by once to check up on me but he won't do it again and then I'm going to get stressed and I'll fail the semester—"

"I had sex this morning."

He was almost as startled as she was at his admission and bluntness.

"What?"

"Yup." An awkward pause passed between them as he watched her mind start generating snarky responses. "Granted," he cut in, "I wasn't planning on just throwing that out there like that, but yeah."

She scrunched her face in confusion. "And you're throwing that out there now because—"

"Because we're both adults, Beth," he offered. "We're both moving on and there's no reason to hide that. I mean, we used to date, it didn't work out, we shagged, we haven't done it again, but people have urges, and we're friends now, and obviously I wish nothing but the best for you. Why should it be an issue?"

She scoffed. "Are you giving me permission to have sex?"

"What the f—" He rolled his eyes at her question. "Beth, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know," she admitted, dropping her head into her hands. "I don't know. But this, it's weird, right?" She motioned between them. "This is weird."

"It'll only be weird if you keep on insisting that it is," he chided. "Most exes stop seeing each other altogether after they break up, but we broke up in August and it is now November, and we have seen each other once a week for several weeks now. We've gone past all of the awkward conversations, I've visited you multiple times, I'd say at this point that we're fine."

Beth sighed. "It's still—I don't know. I guess you're right."

"Listen," he said, being sure that he was looking directly into her eyes, hoping that she would take it as a move of sincerity. "If you are still uncomfortable after a couple of days, let me know. I will find another place to stay, no questions asked."

She pondered that for a moment. "No questions asked?"

"No questions asked."

Beth nodded slowly. Her hands were still fidgeting, but her eyes remained on his. "James and Remus and all them—"

"They'll still come to visit, of course," he promised. "Dumbledore will tell them that I'm here right before they come here. That'll work out well for me because I can just relay any information I learn to them then, and then they can bring it back to the Order. Plus, I'll be able to help you look for those magic-related attacks and differentiate them between actual disasters."

"I am still having a little trouble with that," she admitted.

"But it won't even be an all-day-every-day thing," he pointed out. "I'll be gone for most of the day at meetings, you'll be gone at class, I'll come back before too late, I'll stay quiet, and I'll help pay for any food or other expenses you have."

She took in his words but looked at him skeptically. "You're being very kind," she said, almost accusingly.

"It's not being done in an attempt to seduce you. Get over yourself, Beth."

For the first time since he'd arrived, an actual smile escaped her. He accepted it greedily, happy to see some resemblance of normalcy finally returning. She glanced down at the object she was sitting on. "My couch doesn't pull out into a bed," she said. "You'd have to—"

"I think I can manage to sleep on a couch, Beth. And," he shrugged, "if it gets too bad, I'll just hop into bed with you."

She rolled her eyes. "Sirius—"

"I'm joking."

"If this is what you're going to act like the entire time—"

"Then you can send me back to Dumbledore in pieces. I'm sure Remus would happily pay for postage."

Beth bit back a grin, and Sirius knew in that instant that he had finally won.

"Fine," she said, throwing her arms up in display. "Welcome to apartment 313 C."

"Fantastic," he said with a wide smile. He stood up quickly and went to her, grasping her face in his hands and placing a loud kiss on her forehead before moving to the door to retrieve his bag. "You won't regret this," he called back to her.

In his excitement, he didn't see her fall back against the couch, didn't watch her eyes close, didn't hear her sigh, and didn't listen to her say, "God, I hope I don't."

A/N: Of course it happened to be right near where Beth is staying. This isn't called fanfiction for nothing, folks!

A very big thank you to all of the reviews, follows, and favorites from the last chapter! We're currently at over 100 reviews and over 200 follows! My heart is soaring with happiness. Please keep them coming!

Nimblescrivener, thank you for your wonderful insight into creating this chapter. I could not do this without you.