Chapter 19: A Dawn Over Uncharted Seas
-.-.-.-
"One vision can have many interpretations."
"Always in motion is the future, and many possible futures there are." —Yoda
-.-.-.-
Ezra screamed and opened his eyes with a flash of panicked cerulean orbs. He was laid on the ground in the Ghost's lounge, but Ezra didn't recognize where he was. His mind was held captive in a realm between dreams and visions, not quite able to shake away from the flowing fields and spine tree forests of a distant Lothal and reconcile it with present reality.
Ezra found himself flat in his back surrounded by chaos and pounds of battle. Harsh turbulence rumbled the frame of a strange metallic floor. Sparks flew across his vision and disorienting surges pushed Ezra from side to side. He whimpered and flailed his arms about trying to steady himself, but someone was over him and holding him down.
Muffled voices and muted warbles echoed from metallic surfaces as engines strained and groaned. The mixture of chaotic noise and pulsing light proved too overwhelming as Ezra wasn't fully emerged from the Force-vision. Ezra couldn't focus, everything was foggy and obscured by the lingering haze of dreams.
Kanan, still wearing his stormtrooper disguise, appeared overhead with concern laced across his face. "Ezra?! I'm right here!"
Ezra yelped again as Kanan reached for his shoulders. The young Padawan scooted away in fear and leaned up on his arms, frantically looking around for help and escape. Ezra was afraid, for Ezra didn't see the face of his master but the dreadful mask of Lord Vader.
Alarms were blaring, and Ezra began to hyperventilate along with the chaotic cadence. Where was he? The whoosh of a mechanical ventilator nearby enhanced the projection of Vader's mask to his troubled and disoriented mind.
Vader's voice filled with malice, "Show me…"
Thrawn's voice constricted to a breath, "Nah…"
Dread— Hopelessness— Cold—
"You're on the Ghost, Ezra," Kanan hesitated, slowly reaching his hands toward Ezra, though careful not to touch him. Ezra whipped his gaze to the familiar voice, trying to focus, but now found the white Lothwolf where Kanan knelt.
Kanan's hands were shaking as he sensed Ezra's panic and confusion. "It's me, Kanan."
Ezra's breath hitched as he flinched away again amid another booming tumble of turbulence. He squinted though and found Kanan's face as it began to emerge from beyond the mirage of the Force-vision.
"Find your center Ezra," Kanan carefully continued.
Wooden baubles clonking together— A child's giggle— "Ch'un'cr ten." «Show him.»—
Ezra clinched his eyes shut and sighed a whimper, trying to shake his visions and the echoes of turmoil. He saw the face of Thrawn's daughter smiling as she held her necklace up to him. Her mother's voice echoed softly, "Cart reo tocas." «Be his light.»
Though far from balanced, Ezra's panicked eyes flashed open and the lounge of the Ghost rose to recognition. Sounds of chaotic battle and urgent voices became clear.
Ezra shot up to a seated position and gasped for air. He frantically brought his hands forward and found them gloved in stormtrooper armor.
"Ezra?" Kanan's voice was urgent.
"Zeb, I need you on that turret!" Hera's voice echoed from the cockpit, followed by heavy footfalls upon metallic floor. Zeb bounded into the lounge toward a ladder and caught Ezra's confused eyes.
"Good to see you awake, kid," Zeb said as he started climbing.
Frustrated warbles emitted from the cockpit.
"Just get me any jump point out of here, Chop!" Hera urged. "Hurry!"
Sparks flew and lights dimmed briefly as a deep explosion bellowed and rocked the Ghost.
"There went the shuttle!" Sabine yelled from the forward turret.
"Ezra look at me, listen to my voice," Kanan urged smoothly on the ground in front of Ezra. "Emotion, yet peace."
Ezra tried to calm his breathing, but his heart wouldn't slow as his mind saw thick blood flash on his hands. His focus fell back inside his mind as his perception was in Lothal's field once again with Thrawn fading beneath his hands.
Ezra felt the jagged rise and fall of Thrawn's chest as the Chiss wheezed. A faint pulse of Thrawn's heart reverberated up through his hands as Ezra tried to keep the precious life-liquid inside.
With a weak heaving breath, fingers of Thrawn's left hand brushed against Ezra's hands in a twitch of pain. Ezra pressed down harder on the gaping wound, and Thrawn huffed a gasp. Thrawn tried to speak but suffered another wet breath and shook his head to the side. Breathe… Dirt audibly crumbled underneath Thrawn's other hand as he scraped his fingers into the ground, but his right arm quickly became limp and outstretched to the side as he began to let go. Crimson eyes began to fade from their glow and unfocus. The pain…
Thrawn began to relax underneath him, but Ezra willed Thrawn's wheezing breaths to continue through curling fingers. Please… Faded and dim crimson eyes pulsed as they tried to focus on Ezra's face through the swelling pain and rattling struggle to breathe.
Ezra felt the crash of fear once again of hindering Thrawn's breathing but hoping to stop the bleeding at the same time. Garish red blood felt sticky as it congealed and soaked beyond his hands and through Thrawn's uniform toward a forming puddle of rustic nectar in Lothal's meadow.
"I don't know what to do," Ezra lamented, tears escaping his eyes, transfixed upon his hands.
Ezra flinched as Kanan grabbed onto him with a father's grasp, a grasp not intended to let go.
"Come back to me, Ezra," Kanan pleaded. "Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity."
Ezra sobbed, "Why is this happening?"
Kanan felt Ezra's helplessness, and he briefly heard pained and wheezing breaths echoed from beyond.
"Chaos, yet harmony, Ezra," Kanan said, placing a hand on Ezra's face. Ezra's perception flashed back to the Ghost with a gasp, and he met Kanan's gaze right in front of his face. The cloudy and fatherly eyes looked into Ezra's soul, and it was as if they could truly see each other again for a moment.
"Look at me, Ezra," Kanan said slowly taking a deep breath. "Death, yet the Force."
Ezra scrunched his brow in sorrow and hitched a lamenting breath as he held his master's gaze through overflowing orbs. Kanan squeezed Ezra's shoulder as he felt the Padawan begin to anchor himself to the present moment.
The Ghost lurched into hyperspace, leaving the pounds of battle behind.
Kanan fell backward as Ezra suddenly flung himself forward and held Kanan into a tight hug with sobbing laments.
"He died in my arms, Kanan," Ezra lamented. Kanan sat there and hugged Ezra just as tight, secured and protected in his fatherly arms.
"Shh shh shh," Kanan whispered in Ezra's ear, sighing a scared but relieved breath. "It's okay…"
"I couldn't stop it…"
Hera's voice echoed urgently from the cockpit, "Keep us steady, Chop."
Chopper's warbles chased after her as she emerged from the airlock hallway and into the lounge. Her worried eyes found Ezra distraught with sorrow, clinging to Kanan on the floor.
"Ezra? Are you okay?" Hera said with motherly fear. She rushed to them and caressed the back of Ezra's head as she knelt.
Panicked blue eyes opened, and Hera investigated Ezra's sorrowed soul.
"Hera?" Ezra asked with glistening eyes. His voice was small.
"You're safe now," Hera said, relieved. She shook her head. "You scared us."
A beeping and steady alarm emitted from the direction of the couch. Ezra finally became aware of others present in the lounge.
"Keep that pace Rex!" Kallus ordered.
Ezra flashed his gaze to the noise and froze at what he saw across the room. The small table and two knee-high stools were pushed away from the couch. Thrawn lay limp on the couch, at the mercy of Rex and Kallus' efforts, the breathing tube still taped around his jaw consistently delivering oxygen to troubled lungs. Rex was standing over-top Thrawn, compressing Thrawn's chest as he straddled him on the couch. Kallus knelt on the ground beside them, fumbling with the mechanical ventilator and an injection tube.
"Thrawn!" Ezra panicked and stumbled to his feet, but Kanan and Hera grabbed him.
"Whoa wait Ezra!" Kanan urged.
"Let them work on him," Hera said.
"No! No, no…," Ezra cried.
Sabine appeared at the hallway leading to the cockpit, having shut down the forward turret, and found Ezra being held back, lamenting. Surprise laced her face.
"Here, sit on the chair, Ezra," Hera said as she guided Ezra to a wooden chair at other end of the curved couch. She searched his eyes, kneeling in front of him. "They're doing all they can for him."
Kanan sat down next to Ezra and put an arm around him. Ezra trembled as he caught Hera's empathetic eyes, and she took Ezra's hands within her own and squeezed. It was obvious to everyone that Ezra had experienced something beyond expectation and time in the Force. Sabine saw Ezra's care and worry for Thrawn, a Grand Admiral of the Empire, and felt defensive at the sight. She crossed her arms and hugged herself, warring against her own callousness and apathy.
Zeb emerged from the ladder leading to his turret. With his ears back and eyebrows raised, he caught Sabine's gaze, and she pursed her lips and shook her head. Zeb sighed, keeping a hand on the ladder, worried at Ezra's worry.
Kallus ripped more of Thrawn's right uniform sleeve, exposing more of his bicep, and pressed the injection tube into the lean muscle there above the secured tubing of the IV. A hollow whoosh emitted from the device as medication flowed into Thrawn's body.
"Come on," Kallus muttered as Rex continued compressions. A tension permeated the air as Kallus kept a hand on Thrawn's right arm, as it slightly hung off the couch, and watched the screen on the mechanical ventilator. A mellow beep finally sounded.
"Stop compressions, Rex," Kallus said breathily, holding up his hand.
Rex paused, breathing heavy as he tried to catch his breath. Kallus reached over and touched Thrawn's neck. He found Thrawn's pulse to be faint but there.
Kallus sighed measured relief, "He's back."
Ezra flinched, remembering the vision. "His chest!"
Rex and Kallus recoiled and found Ezra's eyes to be urgent. Ezra pattered his left side, "His chest! There was so much…"
Ezra's voice trailed off, eyes haunted, but Rex understood with a chill. He'd spent too much time on battlefields alongside his brothers to miss the conviction in Ezra's blue Jedi eyes. A similar look would appear on the face of The Jedi General he once served, and Rex had learned when to recognize it and to never ignore it.
Rex turned back and looked down at Thrawn with a soldier's assessment. The former Clone Captain scanned the Chiss Grand Admiral and found Thrawn's face to be upsettingly lax with the oxygen tube protruding passively from his lips. He hastily pulled at Thrawn's belt and unfastened the flap of Thrawn's white Grand Admiral's uniform.
Kallus pushed Thrawn's left hand away from his chest, against the seatback cushions, and out of the way. Rex meant to check Thrawn's chest, but his black sleeveless undershirt was in the way. Kallus rose further on his knees and leaned over Thrawn's form. He held the uniform open while Rex fumbled over his belt on his stormtrooper disguise.
A pang of dread ran through Ezra's heart as Rex unsheathed a combat knife. The metallic schwing reverberated through the Ghost's lounge.
A wolf howl— A roaring thunder clap— Thrawn's cry of pain—
Ezra moaned a fearful lament as he sprung to his feet. Kanan felt the aftereffects of the vision as well and grabbed Ezra. "It's only an echo, Ezra," Kanan said.
Hera and Kanan held Ezra tight as they stood together and watched Rex and Kallus work on Thrawn. Rex cut and tore Thrawn's black undershirt in half from torso to collarbone with the combat knife.
"I don't see a wound," Kallus said, though stunned as his eyes found remnants of ones past on Thrawn's bare chest.
Rex secured the knife back to his belt, as Kallus hovered his hands over what appeared to be old blaster burns. Considering how the scars faded, part originally appeared to have been carved deeply into the lean muscle there over Thrawn's heart.
"That must've hurt…," Zeb muttered, able to see the old wounds from where he stood.
Sabine held herself a little tighter at the sight. Though the burns were relatively small, they etched harshly outward, branching from three impact points into Thrawn's cerulean skin as if the energy blasts had been diffused. Rex bent down and patted gloved hands over Thrawn's torso in search of a fresh wound for which Ezra feared, and Thrawn's muscles unconsciously tensed as Rex shifted and rotated him enough to peek at his side and back.
"There's nothing, Ezra," Rex said as he gently lowered Thrawn back down to the cushions.
"But I saw…," Ezra whispered eyes wide. He scrunched his brow and focused hauntingly on his hands.
Kallus busied himself with Thrawn's vital signs. Thankfully they were improving but inexplicably so; Kallus wondered if the ventilator was malfunctioning.
Rex indicated to Thrawn's chest. "Just old wounds. Nothing more."
Rex felt pity for the young man. He grunted as he swung his right leg over and dismounted the couch as if he were getting off a speeder bike. His eyes looked down to Thrawn and Kallus.
"You good?" Rex softly asked Kallus, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Kallus hesitated a glance up to the Clone Captain, distracted as he was preparing a new bag of medicine for Thrawn's IV to help dilute the toxins in his system. "Yeah… yeah thanks Rex."
Rex placed his hands on his hips and sighed. He unfocused his eyes as if caught in an old memory, but his lapse lasted only a moment. With one last grim glance over Thrawn's form, Rex turned.
"I think we all need a little rest, hmm?" Rex said softly. He placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder as he walked by, catching the young man's troubled eyes.
"I think that's a good idea," Hera said with motherly concern.
Ezra was confused. What he saw, what he experienced. What did it mean? What purpose did the vision have—
Ezra gasped as he caught sight of a bracelet on the low circular couch-table beside Hera's Kalikori. It was made of wooden, decorative baubles and flat pieces with personal embellishment. Ezra rushed to it and picked it up with delicate hands despite his adrenaline, almost bumping into Kallus there on the floor. Ezra's eyes were alight with a small joy but then shifted to a haunted sheen as echoes of the vision returned.
"Ezra—" Hera began.
"His daughter had a necklace just like it," Ezra said wistfully as he carefully rolled the wooden pieces with his fingers.
The lounge fell silent and hushed as Ezra considered the bracelet in his hands. The steady rhythm of the mechanical ventilator breathing for Thrawn, mixed with the hums of the Ghost traveling through hyperspace, was the only noise permeating the room. His daughter.
Kallus carefully closed Thrawn's white Grand Admiral's tunic and laid Thrawn's left arm to rest comfortably across his chest again. Kallus pressed Thrawn's uniform down smooth with a certain reverence and kept his hand resting there as he watched Ezra with sympathetic eyes.
"We found it in his pocket," Hera prompted softly. Kanan seemed to feel her glance to him, and he placed an arm around her shoulders as they all became aware of a depth to Thrawn that perhaps the Chiss wouldn't wish to share so easily were he even able to do so.
"I- I… I couldn't understand her, but she held it up to me, as if she wanted me to…" Ezra shook his head. His voice became muted, and he looked lost. "He lost them…"
Kanan stepped forward and reached for Ezra. "What you saw Ezra—"
"My parents were there too…"
Kanan squeezed Ezra's shoulders, making the young man look at him. Kanan pursed his lips as he remembered the night Ryder told them of Ezra's parents' fate. Ezra had a vision then too…
"Ezra, what you saw…," Kanan leaned his head forward. "…what you experienced can be meant to convey many things. It may have a different purpose even for Thrawn. He was there too, right?"
Ezra timidly nodded, averting his eyes back to the bracelet. His voice was small. "He was there… we spoke."
"Let's get some rest, Ezra. A clear mind can shed light on what you saw," Kanan continued. "The vision's purpose may not even be fully for you but for Thrawn."
"We won't be able to ask him for a while," Sabine said.
"How can I sleep after this?" Ezra said.
"He's stabilizing," Kallus said from his spot on the floor, hand still on Thrawn's chest. "Enough to make me comfortable to get rest of my own."
Ezra glanced at everyone and carefully placed the bracelet back on the table beside Hera's Kalikori.
"Though I'd prefer if someone stayed with him," Kallus said after watching Ezra's hesitant movement.
"I can stay," Hera said. "Chop can monitor our course. It'll be a while before we make it to base."
Ezra took a deep breath. "Okay…, but…" he looked timidly at Kanan. "…could you- stay with me Kanan? I saw- other things too and…" The Sith Lord…
"I'll stay with you, Ezra," Kanan said leading Ezra toward the cabins. "What do you say we get out of this stormtrooper armor first."
Sabine smiled a worried smile and patted Ezra's shoulder as he and Kanan walked by. "I need some rest too," she said.
"Go on," Hera said with a kind smile, as she walked over to the couch. Kallus groaned as he moved to stand. His joints were stiffening the farther away they got from imminent danger. Hera grimaced and hugged herself as she was able now to get a closer look at the damage at Thrawn's neck.
"He's still very sick," Kallus said through his exhaustion. "Let me show you what I've done and what to look for."
Kallus walked Hera through streams of medical data and showed her what the Empire had done to their prisoner, and Zeb crawled back up to the central turret. The Lassat would find rest and provide watch there should the Ghost need to be defended upon exiting hyperspace. Rex went to find solace at the table in the kitchen.
Hera breathed deeply as she read over a datapad of Thrawn's medical history that Kallus had put together.
"Come get me if you need me," Kallus said, walking to the forward cargo hold.
"You sure you don't want to take Kanan's cabin?" Hera asked.
Kallus chuckled softly. "I'm sure. I know we told Ezra to sleep despite his protests, but I won't be able to close my eyes…" He rapped his fingers on the edge of the doorway as he turned back to Hera. "…If I find sleep, I won't complain but too much thinking to do."
Hera recognized a sparkle of revelation in his eyes, but she would wait to ask him about it. As if recognizing her discernment, he narrowed his eyes kindly at her and averted his own to Thrawn's relaxed form before tiredly disappearing beyond the airlock doorway.
Hera pulled a stool next to the couch and sighed as she sat down. She considered her Kalikori and Thrawn's bracelet resting beside it on the small table.
With both changed back into familiar clothing, Ezra tucked himself into bed while Kanan sat down on the floor next to him. He sat cross legged there in the cabin with his back against the bed and altered his breathing as he began the path toward a meditative state. But his focus was interrupted as he felt a pressure pat on the side of his arm.
Ezra was so exhausted that the young man had quickly fallen to the enticement of sleep but had unconsciously reached out for Kanan to make sure he was still there. Kanan lowered his head and smirked, content to hold protective watch while he slept.
Kanan would do anything for Ezra. They were attached.
They all were.
Kanan felt something changing in the Force. A new dawn approached, carrying with it a radiance that would illuminate a new path upon which they would traverse together.
-.-.-.-
"For every ebb there's a flow;
For every flow there's an ebb.
Happiness turns to sorrow;
Sorrow is reborn as hope."
-Aya-Glon