Hey there!

Sorry for the delay, I hope this story is still interesting enough to keep you coming back for more. Please forgive me if you spot any grammar mistakes in there, and please remember Elena and Damon aren't actually blood-related since it seems to be a little controversy over that.

Please enjoy!

"Impossible loves. I am very much afraid they can become an addiction"

-The Borgias, 2011-

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2016

New York City

New York in the fall was a dream come true. Central Park turned into a leaf-peeping Paradise, the honey-colored sunsets stole everyone's breath away, the crisp air chilled her deliciously, there was a sense of melancholy floating around, it started being appropriate to huddle away in a warm bar to drink a good scotch before nightfall and the warm, elegant clothes started appearing on the streets, Elena loved this last fact more than anything. She often wondered why would anyone want to live anywhere else but New York.

That particular morning she stepped outside her upper east side apartment wearing a pair of thigh jeans, brown velvet boots and a camel-colored coat over a cream cashmere sweater, her hair was loose and brushed the top of her shoulders as she walked to the sidewalk to hail a cab. Her father had wanted for her to get a driver, but she refused, wanting to preserve the little notion she had of a normal life.

Elena Gilbert was a twenty-three-year-old business student whose family was in the business of illegal commerce; she had learned this little fact at a young age thanks to the one man who had refused to ever lie to her, and for most of her teenage years she had lived face to face with the cruelty and darkness that surrounded their world. But when her stepbrother moved away to Italy when she was only sixteen, her father had taken into his hands to shield her from everything related to the illicit business he ran, a part of Elena was grateful for it but there was another that resented him.

Once Elena was old enough to go to college, her father had allowed her to separate from her family and move away to her own apartment, unlike her other step-brother who still lived with them in the big mansion her father owned just in the edges of the city, at first Elena wouldn't understand why he would choose to remain there instead of live on his own, but then it occurred to her that perhaps he wasn't given a choice because he was needed, unlike her.

It had stung a bit, but she had overcome it and had dedicated herself to alienate her persona from the darkness that surrounded her family. She worked hard, studied even harder, was nice to everyone and tried to not feel bad whenever people walked away from her after hearing her last name. She had only one good friend and perhaps the only thing from her other life she didn't want to let go, Bonnie Bennett, daughter of his father's right-hand man and the girl who had grown up with her and knew the deepest parts of her soul.

It was her who Elena was texting that chilly morning as she rode in the cab to her parents' house, a small overnight bag sitting on the seat next to her. It was Friday and her father's birthday, old Jon Gilbert had wanted to make an ostentatious celebration to rejoice on his fifty year anniversary and Elena being the dutiful daughter she was, hadn't been able to reject the invitation.

Once in the gates of the house, Elena sighed loudly before paying the fare to the wide-eyed driver and stepping out of the car. The propriety was tall and daunting before her, a place of so many memories and fears, the place that represented the weight of a burden she did not wish to carry but that was hers nonetheless.

With heavy steps she dragged herself through the white steps of the porch, her light pink bag slouched over her shoulders as she crossed the entry archway, expecting to hear her step-mother's piercing voice greeting her from the other side, but instead she heard a very different voice.

"Pero que cosa tan bonita me trajo el viento" (What a beautiful thing the wind brought to me) Elena's head whipped around and saw her step-brother leaning over the white porch balustrade "Sei bellisima cara" (You are beautiful dear)

Elena stared at him awestruck for a couple of seconds before her face split into a wide grin, her legs taking her to him on their own accord "You jerk, saying all those things so I can't understand a single thing"

His arms went around her the minute she was in front of him, her nose burying in his neck and breathing in the woodsy smell she had missed so much, Damon Salvatore had always been the one thing about the life she hated that she wanted to keep, and he was constantly being taken away from her.

He chuckled as he pulled away from her, his hand gripping her at arm's length as he observed her "It's not my fault you chose not to practice your languages"

She rolled her eyes in response "Oh I'm sorry, I'm too busy trying to earn myself a degree"

Damon laughed and pinched her cheek softly "Cheeky little thing"

Elena's smile couldn't have been wider, few were the times when she was able to see Damon after he moved to Italy, they still talked on the phone a lot but it wasn't the same. Every time she answered another call of his, she had the sense she was talking with a new version of Damon, like he changed whenever she couldn't see him until he was no longer the one she used to know.

She looked up at him, at that marred skin of his face and the way his mouth twisted grotesquely whenever he smiled, her heart swelled at the sight of his broken face, the face she had missed so much "I didn't know you were coming…father didn't mention it"

"He didn't know"

Elena raised an eyebrow "You're rebelling yourself?"

Elena was Jon Gilbert's only child so when he married Isabella he had taken the Salvatore boys as his own, grooming them and teaching them about the business; from the moment he first took them on a trip alone, Damon became his shadow, following him around and answering to his every request.

Elena had hated her father for that, for taking him away from her whenever he pleased.

"What can I say? I like to live on the edge" He said and the carefree expression that had been on his face transformed, his jaw setting and features changing until he became almost scary to her "I am a big boy now, he can't keep bossing me around"

She stayed silent for a couple of seconds after that, the air around them suddenly too charged with unnamed emotions, but then he raised his hand and placed a strand of hair behind her ear, making her shiver in response to his touch.

"How long will you stay here?"

The good side of his lip tipped up in a smile "For good"

Elena breath caught at her throat "Don't play with me like that"

"I am not, Uncle Zach has things under control in Sicilia, it was time for me to come home" His blue eyes were conflicted and Elena wondered what new demon was tormenting him, what was he hidden behind those ocean eyes "Though I must take a little trip to Cali before settling back here"

She snorted and punched his chest playfully "I knew it was too good to be truth"

He didn't laugh like she expected him to, his expression turned somber as he moved his eyes away from her and stared at the distance "Grandpa is sick, very sick" He told her "I want to be there before…"

Elena cupped his face and forced him to look down at her "Hey, nothing bad will happen to your grandfather"

He half smiled and dropped his forehead into hers "Te extrañe mucho bonita" (I missed you so much pretty girl)

Elena smiled "I've missed you Damon" Her hands settled on his chest, her whole being in ecstasy at the feel of his heart beating underneath her palms "Promise me you'll stay this time"

"I will" He vowed as he pulled away from her, his hand finding hers and leading her inside the house "And I'll also kick the ass of that boyfriend of yours"

Elena groaned and threw her hands up in exasperation "Oh my God Stefan has such loose lips"

Damon laughed and threw an arm over shoulders, hugging her to his side as they walked inside "Men are gossip babe, deal with it"

Elena rolled her eyes and promise to murder Stefan sometime later.

"So, you'll be staying here tonight?"

"Yeap, the family under the same roof again"

A wicked smile curved her lips as she rose on her tip tops to whisper in his ear "Can I still climb into your bed at night?"

He shook his head in amusement before pecking her lips softly, the way they always used to do "Let's not hold our breath"

Elena beamed up at him and for the first time in a while felt grateful at being back in her childhood home.

Elena never liked her father's circle of friends, and it wasn't the fact that they were criminals because she had learned to embrace the middle tints of life a long time ago, after all her own step-brothers whom she loved more than anything were both feared criminals.

No, Elena didn't like his father's friends because men sometimes stared at her chest for too long, got handsy with her step-mother and always seemed to have a hidden secret beneath their eyes she knew could be deadly. The women instead of looking at her chest gave her disdainful looks and whispered behind her back while trying to cop a feeling of one of her step-brothers, Elena guessed that they weren't so different from ordinary people, with the single exception they could end you in your sleep if they wanted to.

For this reason, Elena rarely attended her father's dinner parties and he seemed to be okay with that arrangement. John Gilbert wasn't like Bonnie's father, who liked to parade her daughter on every occasion. No, most of the times it was like if Elena didn't exist at all, and she was damn fine with that, sometimes she could almost pretend to be a normal girl for a while, though eventually the shadows that haunted her life since an early age always came back to remind her there was nothing ordinary about the world she lived in.

But today it was her father's birthday party and she had been forced to attend, to cram herself into a too tight dark blue dress her stepmother had gotten for her and style her hair in soft curls that reached her cheeks, her eyes were smoky blue and a simple nude color graced her lips, men's eyes had been on her ever since she walked down the stairs, a fact that made her skin crawl and forced her to step into the balcony to get some air, place where she found her younger step-brother nursing a tumbler of scotch.

"You look depressing" She said as she managed to sit on one the white iron chairs facing the back patio without ripping her dress.

"Thanks" Stefan answered drily from where he was sitting in the seat next to hers.

Elena glanced in his direction as he started typing on his phone and was able to see the name on his screen "Jesus, are you still trying with Valerie?" She asked, referring to the girl her step-brother had been following around since they were teenagers and who had broken his heart in more than one occasion.

"You wouldn't understand"

"I thought you were with Lexie now"

Stefan released a sigh as he pulled away his phone and leaned back on his chair "She and I are strictly casual" He answered, his head lolling to the side and giving her a mischievous look "Which means we're only fucking"

"I know what it means, you asshole" Elena rolled her eyes "Does Lexie knows that? Because if she doesn't you should let her know. Don't be a jerk"

Stefan chuckled "Look who's talking"

Elena's eyebrows rose with a questioning look "Excuse me?"

"You keep that Matt around with promises of fake love and he follows you around like a puppy thinking that perhaps one day you'll wake up and realize he's the one" Stefan's words were delivered with such a dramatic gesture that Elena felt like punching him "Which we both know won't happen"

She gave him a tight smile "Perhaps it will"

He shook his head and stared straight at her "Come on Len, we both know he can't handle you"

Elena thought back to his words for a couple of seconds, the image of kind sweet Matt appearing on her head as she did so. He was handsome, had money, always treated her like a queen and gave her perhaps one orgasm a week, but he wasn't exciting, he bored her sometimes and always seemed like he was ready to take the next step.

Elena wasn't if she was honest with herself, she didn't even know why she kept him around, perhaps that the alternative of being alone didn't appeal her so much and preferred to have him at her disposal.

She sighed deeply and reached for the tumbler in Stefan's hands, giving it a big swing before speaking again "What's up with Valerie now, she decided she actually wants to be with you?" She changed the topic again, knowing she wasn't nearly as drunk as she wanted for an evaluation of her feelings.

"Valerie loves me"

"Oh, she does" Elena snickered "What does her husband think of that?"

Stefan snatched the tumbler out of her hands "You are very bitchy today Len" He took a sip and gave her an amused glance "Everything all right at home?"

She didn't answer, but his eyes kept glued on her, curiosity shining in them "What?" She asked, feeling unnerved under his stare.

He chuckled before tearing his eyes away from her, his words whispered more to himself than to her "Not even a full day and he already has you all twisted into knots"

Elena took a deep breath and straightened in her chair "I am going to pretend like I didn't listen to a thing you said" She stood up, smoothed down her dress and threw him a look "Now come on let's back to the party"

He whined like a petulant child "I don't want to, those evil mafia dolls are way too drunk now, they'll start grabbing my junk soon enough"

Elena laughed and offered him her hand "Come on Salvatore, I'll keep you safe"

With an overly dramatic sigh, he took the offering hand and stood up, they head inside the party and proceeded to spend the next hour trying to keep him out of privy hands.

The rest of the night was uneventful, much to Elena's delight, the only downside of her night was the fact she barely had time to speak with Damon. He spent the entire night surrounded either by his father's associates or by a brisith girl named Rose who seemed to cling to his every word.

Elena had no idea where she had come from but she had hated the fact that she looked beautiful and sophisticated, but more than anything she had hated that Damon seemed absorbed in her. It had been so long since she had seen him with someone else that she had forgotten how much she resented whenever he paid attention to someone who wasn't her. Elena knew it wasn't rational thinking, that perhaps it had something to do with the fact he had practically raised her and made her his priority all the time, it didn't have anything to do with the attraction she felt for him…because he was family, her family and would never see her as anything more than that.

Those were the thoughts running through her head that night, she tossed and turned for hours before completely giving up and stepping out of her room with the sole purpose of getting some warm milk, so she could relax, but as she stepped into the hallway the sound of voices made her stop in her tracks.

She took a hand to her chest as she continued walking towards the sound of the voices, her feet bare and soundless against the carpeted floor.

"Again, tell me"

Elena's skin broke in goosebumps at the sound of Damon's commanding voice coming from downstairs. The whole house was pitch dark, but one of the drapes had been moved to the side so the moonlight illuminated a part of the living room.

She gasped when she spotted Damon and Rose leaning against one of the living room pillars, her front pressed against the cold marble as he pounded her from behind.

Elena wasn't able to move away, her body was partly hidden by one the walls so she knew it was very unlikely she would be spotted, yet she knew it would be wrong to stay, but then Damon moaned low in his throat and without knowing how her hands found their way beneath her silk pajama shorts and started stroking herself. Her skin prickled with heat as she watched Damon's thrust powerfully into the other woman. She felt repulsed at seeing him like that with her, but at the same time couldn't walk away, so she closed her eyes and imagined it was her instead.

Her, whose name was being whispered in the ear, whose hips were being gripped by his strong hands and whose pussy was being filled with the thickness of his cock. Her hands moved expertly inside herself, her thumb circling her little numb with abandon as she listened to his groans of pleasure. She could almost feel the smell of his skin, the touch of him in her.

She had to bite her lip to stop herself from screaming once her orgasm reached her, she thrashed against the wall as the pleasure overwhelmed her, as she imagined his body on top of hers finally giving her what she had craved all those years.

She was able to move once her body came down from the high, her wobbly legs carrying her away from the noises that were still resonating in the living room, she trembled as she moved her sweaty body in direction of the hallway she had come from, a part of herself couldn't believe she had done that… again.

Elena had been a mere child of fifteen the first time she masturbated… to the sight of him in the shower, she hadn't been able to control herself back then just like she wasn't able to do it at the moment. A wave of shame invaded her when she thought about Damon finding out, she was sure he would be disgusted with her.

With a heavy sigh, she stepped into the shower, willing to wash away the shame of her actions and hoping to learn a way to control her feelings towards Damon, because he was here to stay and she would rather die than to lose the connection they had just because she hadn't been able to control herself.

Damon was her brother, her protector and her family and she rather have him being that than anything all.

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