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"I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.

-Mary Shelley-

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Elena Gilbert tightened the coat around her as she stepped outside the tall building of her school and into the cold wide streets of New York. The sun was starting to set and the metropolis bustled with life as the city lights bloomed all over the place.

She stood on the sidewalk for five whole minutes before managing to hail a cab, a record for her, and as she climbed inside and felt her cellphone vibrating against her pocket she couldn't help the stab of remorse that hit her. Matt's parents were in town and he had asked her to come over for dinner, Elena tried to avoid any situation that involved commitment with her boyfriend so she had made up an excuse about a familiar affair now that her brother was back from Italy, and Matt had let her off the hook, but the crestfallen look on his face had burned into her memory, as a reminder that perhaps it was finally time to let go of him.

Elena had never loved her boyfriend, but she liked the company he provided, people tended to get away from her after they learned her last name, and other than Bonnie and sometimes Stefan she never spend time with anyone else but herself. She guessed that was the reason why she held into Matt with such a capricious force, because he provided her comfort when no one else did.

The young girl's head dropped against the cold window pane as she scrolled through her texts and saw the ones of him wishing her good luck on her family dinner, a diner that had come completely out of her imagination because she hadn't even spoken with Damon ever since the night of her father's party. Elena had been so ashamed after what she did.

While it wasn't the first time she touched herself at the thought of him, it was the first time she did it while watching him perform a sexual act with someone else, she felt repulsed with herself, more so because she hadn't been able to stop thinking about the way his body moved against that girl's, always wishing it was her.

Grumbling under her breath at her inability to keep her feelings towards her stepbrother platonic, Elena stepped out of the cab once it stopped at her building's entrance. She kept scrolling absently through her phone on the way up to her apartment, kicking off her shoes in the foyer once she was inside and dropping her bag in the living room couch without taking her eyes off her phone.

She headed in direction of her bedroom and only raised her eyes to switch on the light, a strangled scream leaving her lips when she saw the figure sitting on the small chair by her window.

"Jesus Damon!" A hand went to her chest in an effort to steady her racing heart at the same time she threw a nasty glance in direction of her step-brother, who narrowed his eyes at her before slowly standing up.

"Did all my teaching was shit to you?" He grumbled as he moved towards her, Elena gave him a confused look and nearly gasped when he leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek.

"What?" She asked breathlessly as pulled away and went to drop himself into the soft plush mattress of her bed.

He rolled his eyes in annoyance as he adjusted the cushions on the bed so he was comfortable leaning against the headboard, legs extended and crossed over at the ankles "You're lucky it's me and not some other monster waiting in the dark for you" He took hold of the teddy bear resting on the bed and raised one of its stuffed hands accusingly in direction of Elena "You need to be alert on all times"

Elena scoffed and turned around to sit down in front of her dresser "Don't overreact" She released her hair from the low ponytail she had been sporting and grabbed her brush in order to untangle the knots the wind had created in her short hair.

His jaw clenched in response to her nonchalance "What I showed you when you were little wasn't enough?" His voice was dangerously low and Elena's hand gripped the hairbrush more tightly as her mind took her to a barely lit warehouse many years back "You have one small can of pepper spray to defend you…in your whole house" Damon's voice snapped her out of that dark memory, outrage growing inside her at the implication of his words.

"You went through my stuff?"

His lips widened in the tale tale smirk that suited him too well "The black lacy cheekster was my favorite by the way"

Elena felt her cheeks burning, she huffed and tried to dismiss his words "Jerk" She muttered under her breath.

Damon snorted and threw the teddy bear back in the mattress "I took you to the shooting rank since you were twelve, you have the gun use mastered and yet I don't see a single one"

Elena shrugged "I don't like guns"

He sighed in annoyance before standing up, his eyes fixated on her hands, moving the brush smoothly through her now shorter hair "It's not a matter of liking it Principessa" He said in a low voice, his figure pacing back and forth in her spacious bedroom "Don't be naïve enough to believe you'll never have to use one"

Elena gritted her teeth, unable to hide her annoyance at his bossy attitude. She had been on edge the entire week and the last thing she needed was Damon coming back to tell her how fucked up their life was, to remind her of all the things she had wished so badly to forget during his absence, of the darkness that tainted his soul and made her long for him even more.

"Don't you think at twelve you should have been taking me to the park instead of showing me how to kill people?" She spat out, her anger getting the best of her.

Damon hissed and in an instant, he was towering over her, hands on her shoulder forcing her to turn around enough to look at him "And you think at six I enjoyed getting my face almost split in half?"

Elena flinched at his words, his proximity allowing her to experience firsthand the atrocity of which he had been a victim at a young age "Damon…" She whispered brokenly as she raised a hand to trace the grotesque scar that ran from the corner of his lip up to his ear.

He reared back at her touch "If I hadn't been defenseless perhaps I wouldn't have this"

"You were a kid, Damon"

"That is no excuse!" He shouted and she nearly jumped out of her chair, her eyes widening in terror at the fire that burned in his eyes.

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds in complete silence, until she broke their connection and took a deep breath while she forced herself to turn back towards the mirror, her hand finding the brush again and started gliding it through her locks while she averted his gaze, unable to see the darkness that lurked beneath them.

Damon cocked his head to the side as he studied the way goosebumps had appeared on her skin at his outburst. He moved behind her and found her gaze in the mirror "Are you afraid of me Bonita?" He asked as his fingers found the nape of her neck, despite his efforts to keep her eyes on his in the mirror Elena couldn't help but close them as he ghosted his fingers over her skin, his touch burning a fire trail over her as he moved them.

"You know I am not" She whispered and nearly shuddered as his hands moved from her neck to her exposed collarbone.

He chuckled behind her and lowered his hands until they touched the top of her breasts "Do you not think I am a man to be feared?" He said low in his throat, Elena's head lolled back and rested against his stomach, his erection pressed hard against her back, a fact she was acutely aware of but which she didn't wish to dwell much at the moment.

His fingers moved back to her collarbone with a silk-like touch, her words whispered breathlessly as they settled around her throat, "I think you are one of the most feared men in the world" She told him truthfully before a wicked smile formed in her lips "But I am the one person you would never hurt"

He chuckled and his hold around her throat tightened "Aren't you a little cocky Principessa?" He asked as he lowered his mouth towards her ear at the same time his fingers released her "But this once, I think you have right to be it"

His face went to her neck next, his lips finding the red mark his fingers had left behind and placed a wet kiss against it, Elena shuddered against him, the place between her legs slick with desire "Damon…"

His nose nuzzled against her throat, his hands were now resting below her breasts, feeling every rise and fall of her body "Will you come to Cali with me?" He asked.

"What?"

His thumb graced the underside of her breast and Elena couldn't help but lean towards his touch, wanting him to cup her completely, to touch her like he had touched that woman the other night.

"You know I have to go to Colombia… and I want you to come with me" His words were wicked against her ear, his hips thrusting involuntarily against her back, his cock fully hard and straining against his pants. "Will you?"

"Yes…"

She felt him smiling against her skin and could picture perfectly the wicked gleam in his eyes "That's my girl" He cooed before placing one last kiss against her jaw and straightening up, seemly totally unaffected by what has just transpired between them "Come on, I'll make you dinner" He clapped her shoulders tightly and kissed the top of her head before heading to the door, leaving her breathless and shaking behind him.

Elena stared dumbstruck at the door for a couple a seconds after he left, wondering if perhaps she had finally lost it and everything was a product of her imagination. There was no denying the sexual nature of Damon's touches, something that had never been present in their time growing up.

Could something have changed or perhaps she wanted so badly to believe he could somehow reciprocate her feelings that she allowed herself to see what she wanted to see? Not wanting to twist her head into more knots that it was already in she took a deep breath and counted to five before standing up and following him into the kitchen.

If there was a place in her apartment Elena loved more than her bedroom it was her kitchen. It was large and spacious, decorated all in clear colors and equipped with a fancy oven, a beautiful steel stove, a huge fridge, and a breathtaking white marble counter.

It was in this place, where she often released her stress in the form of chocolate muffins, that she found him. The sleeves of his black button down were rolled to his elbows and his nose buried inside her fridge as he sorted through her groceries.

"What are you doing?" Elena asked as she took a seat in one of the stools of her kitchen counter, her legs still too wobbly to keep her upright.

He made a noise to acknowledge her before straightening up and turning around towards her with a pack of frozen salmon in one hand, "You do like to keep your fridge fancy, huh?" He placed the package on the counter and turned around towards the fridge once again "White or red?"

"White, always"

He chuckled as he pulled out a bottle of unopened white wine from the fridge and grabbed a pair of glasses from her pantry, Elena felt a warmness spreading inside her at the sight of him being so familiar with her kitchen despite the fact he had never set foot in it before "The last thing I remember is you drinking grapefruit Caribe cooler" He told her as he placed a glass in front of her and poured a generous amount of wine.

Elena bit her lip as her mind took her back to hot summers in Colombia, them sitting side by side on the beach with a bottle of the Mexican beverage his grandfather loved so much being shared between them as they giggled about whatever antic Stefan had been up to that day.

She took the glass he offered and gave him a look that was filled with longing "I've outgrown them"

He looked at her for a couple of seconds, sadness clouding his beautiful blue eyes, "You certainly did" He whispered before taking the glass to his lips and erasing all traces of the vulnerability she had seen shining in his eyes seconds earlier.

He turned his back to her once again as he started unwrapping the salmon package. Pans, and groceries finding the way to his hands without Elena knowing how. Damon had always loved to cook and it never ceased to amaze her all the things he could create in only a couple of minutes.

She relaxed back in her chair with the glass of wine dangling casually from her hands, "How long will we be going to Colombia for?"

"A couple of days" He answered as his hands busied themselves chopping some vegetables "I want to see grandfather before…. I want to set his affairs in order"

Elena felt a stab of pain at the tone in his voice. Damon had never been a man to show emotion, not even when she first met him as a kid, he had always been cool and reserved. She guessed it was the armor he used to survive in the world they lived in and that he only let his guard down on occasion around her and Stefan… and his grandfather.

Damon adored the man like no one else and if the implications of his words were right, Elena knew it would be time to say goodbye very soon, she hated to think about it.

She sipped from her wine and asked: "Is it going to be dangerous?"

"Never for you"

Elena sighed "Damon…"

His back stiffened, his hand stopped mid-movement as he slowly turned around to face her "This is the life Elena, suck it up" He spat before getting his attention back towards the stove where he had placed the salmon to grill.

Elena gritted her teeth in annoyance, "Does father knows I'll be going with you?" She spat out like a petulant child.

Instead of the vicious response she expected, he surprised her by chuckling and facing her once again "I won't tell if you don't" His eyes glinted with mischief as he placed a plate filled with cheese, crackers and cold cuts in front of her.

Elena grabbed a piece of Gouda and placed it between her lips "You've become quite the rebel, huh?"

He leaned on his elbows and took a bite of another piece of cheese she had grabbed for herself, his tongue peeking out to touch her skin "I like to think I've come to be my own man" He answered as he munched down, Elena felt herself blushing and she pulled away slightly.

She cleared her throat and tried not to blush further when she saw him smirking, instead she decided to change their conversation towards safer topics "Is Stefan coming?"

"No, I don't think so" He answered and Elena felt a thrill in knowing she and Damon would be sharing their trip alone "He has affairs to deal with here"

"Meaning?"

He tsked and reached to pinch her cheek playfully "It is not your place to know"

She huffed impatiently as he swatted his hand away "I thought you were all in about me learning everything about the family business"

"Not on all things Bonita" She rolled her eyes at him and he went to pinch her cheeks again "Stop rolling your eyes at me and instead tell me about that Donovan kid"

Elena felt the color draining from cheeks at the mention of Matt "Sorry?

"A little bird told me the guy you're dating is Matt Donovan" His mouth was twisted in a cruel smile and for one Elena wasn't sure she recognized the Damon in front of her "Isn't he the son of that liberal congressman that likes to show himself on TV?"

"I don't see how's that any of your business"

His eyes darkened as he leaned over her, crowding her space even further "Everything about you is my business Bonita"

Elena's chest heaved as he stared down at her, the intensity in his gaze, unlike anything she ever experienced before, he frightened and exhilarated her in equal measure "Yes, we are dating"

"But you couldn't care less about him" He stated.

"What makes you think that?"

"The bored look in your face"

She sneered "Don't be a jerk Damon"

He chuckled darkly, a sound Elena didn't enjoy at all "I am not, seriously tell me about him"

"Why don't you tell me about Rose?" She bit out and regretted it immediately when she saw the gleam in his eyes.

"She's an old acquaintance" He answered "We like to fuck sometimes" His blue eyes shone with mischief as he looked at her, Elena averted her eyes from him and felt her blood burning with embarrassment at the sound of his chuckle "What? Though you were old enough to hear bad words now"

Elena felt her eyes filling with tears without truly knowing why; it was like despite knowing he loved her more than anything, he always found ways to hurt her. She constantly kept feeling like an ignorant child whenever she was in contact with him, and she hated that feeling, hated feeling like less of what she was.

"You've been especially jerkish today," She told him and hated the way her words wobbled as she spoke.

He sighed and rounded the counter until he was in front of her "Sorry, I've been on edge since I returned" He said before cupping her face between his hands and pulling her towards him.

"Why?" She asked against his chest, his hands were now around her slender frame and rubbed her back up and down with gentle moves.

"That's for me to worry about" He answered and Elena sighed sadly in return.

"Sometimes I don't get you Damon"

His breathing stopped for a second before he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against the crown of her head "Sometimes I don't either Bonita, I really don't" Hidden sadness was laced on his words and Elena wanted to ask him what he was sad about, wanted to lay in his embrace forever and force him to tell about the demons in his head but knew it would be futile, because not even with her Damon allowed himself to be truly himself.

"Now, how about you set the table and we have a fancy family dinner," He told her as he moved away from her and went back to the stove where the salmon was cooking "Then we can get you packing."

Elena frowned "Packing? When are we going?"

His smile widened "Why tomorrow morning darling" A genuine laugh left his lips at the way her eyes widened "Surprise" He raised his glass towards her as she stared at him dumbstruck.

When Elena Gilbert woke up that morning she never imagined that the storm that was Damon Salvatore would come to sweep her off her feet once again and that she would be too eager to be devastated by him.

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