Corso was silently willing the elevator to move faster, his attention focused on the lighted panel. So focused that he didn't see Miriah's eyes flutter open. She moved in his arms and he whispered, "Shh, darlin'. We'll be in the med center in a minute."
"No," she whispered back. "Please, sugar. I was only sleeping. Let's just go back home." He gently put her on her feet, grateful that she still wore her boots. Still, he held her close, feeling the rapid beat of her heart and the slight tremble she had.
"You need medical help, love. You wouldn't wake up."
"I could hear you, but I was just so tired," she responded, and he saw the pleading in her eyes. The door swished open, and he warred with himself for a moment before reaching over her shoulder and pressing the button again. When they emerged on the main floor, Magdalane waited at the door. They didn't speak, but Miriah walked between her sister and her husband back to the apartment, and once inside, went to the sofa. Corso heard Aric enter a few moments later, and turned to Mags.
"I'm leaving her for your exam, but I'll be in the kitchen. When you're done, we'll have dinner." Mags nodded and Corso whirled around.
"He's worried," Mags said, and Miriah only nodded. The force aura flared over them, and few minutes later, Mags drew it back. "You're exhausted. You rushed back from your surgery, and I take the blame for that. You're on the edge of a major health issue, Mir. You need rest."
"I know," Miriah sighed. "I've been eating well and, I thought, resting well."
"I can't see anything specific, Mir. Nothing physical, anyway."
Miriah stood and almost lashed out, reining in her temper at the last second. "I just had a major power outage across the base, the spy we've been hunting is still out there, and now Saresh is missing from Coruscant. Lana is pregnant, so she's doing what she can, but I'd say I have a fair bit of stress."
"Agreed. You can't just leave it all, so I propose this. Take tomorrow to stay in bed. You don't have to sleep the whole time, and I'm saying no other recreational activity, either." She saw Miriah's eyebrow raise, and knew she had to step carefully. "Just tomorrow. Then, half days for a week. Anything you can do here, do so. You need to step back, just a bit, until you can get some relief from the constant stress." They stood, staring at each other, for a long, few minutes. "Neither of us are young anymore, Mir. Five years of carbonite hibernation, now the past four and a half fighting and leading, not to mention the injuries. It's got to take a toll."
"I'll do it." Miriah sat down with another sigh and saw Mags turn to the dining room. Aric and Maura were putting food out, and she helped Corso with the plates. When they were done, Corso went to his wife.
"You scared a year off my life," he whispered, holding her close.
"I'm sorry, sugar. I really didn't meant to." She told him of Magdalane's recommendation, and they went to eat. Miriah ate well, and when she was done, she leaned on Corso, her eyes closed.
"Mir, I'll step up and help Lana. She can still take her afternoons, and I'll be there to do whatever I can," Aric said softly, and saw Miriah smile.
"Thank you," she said, and Aric felt his chest puff out. He always liked helping, and knew that Miriah truly needed this time. Maura squeezed his hand, and he knew he'd done and said the right thing.
The next morning, Corso heard the shower as he woke, but he didn't move. Mir's staying here, he thought to himself, and closed his eyes again. She had truly given him a fright the evening before. He rolled over when she came back into the bedroom, then bolted upright. "Darlin', you're staying here today," he said, shocked. Miriah wore her work clothes, and was pulling on her boots. "You told Mags you would."
"I know," Miriah replied calmly, and he hurried to dress and follow her out into the kitchen. When he saw she was pulling some milk out of the fridge, he thought maybe she would just eat and then relax. He busied himself making caf, keeping one eye on his wife as he did. They didn't speak as they sat together, warmed biscuits and jam on the table between them. Miriah ate and when she was done, took her dishes to the counter before heading to the door.
"Wait. Just wait a second," Corso called, and swung her around when he reached her. "You're going to harm yourself with this, Mir. Please, listen to me!"
Miriah reached out to touch his cheek with her fingertips. "I can only do what's right. I can't leave Lana with all of this, and there are too many enemies about to be relaxing."
Corso felt tears well in his eyes. "I cannot lose you, Miriah."
"I'll be fine," she replied, and he gathered her in his arms. "I promise." He closed his eyes as he held her, hoping she was right.
Devin helped get Mia and the children and was striding across the courtyard when he stopped in his tracks. Unknowing why, he turned instead to the secure area and cleared through the checkpoint. He stepped off the elevator and immediately felt his father's despair. Not thinking, he ran toward the detail he could see exiting the hallway, plowing through to his parents, too quickly for the troopers to react. Once he could see them, he stood, barring their path. "What is going on?" he asked quietly.
"Mom is determined to weaken herself by disregarding medical advice to rest," Corso stated, and didn't look at the hard stare he was getting from his wife.
"I cannot leave Lana to do all of this, especially now. You both should know that," Miriah said evenly, but her eyes flashed in anger. "I am only doing the job that I was given."
"I can help," Devin said, sending a message in the force, that he would be in the executive wing, to his fellow instructors. Miriah huffed impatiently, and Devin moved to her other side as they made their way to the offices. Miriah took her chair and refused to look at the men, who left her and went out into the hallway. Corso explained the past day's events, and Devin took a deep breath. "We'll keep her going, Dad." he said, and Corso nodded, his eyes on his feet.
Lana made her way down to her office and nodded at the Riggs men as she passed. Once inside, she pulled all the reports she needed for the morning brief, and stood to go into Miriah's office. She had to stand still for a few moments, dizziness overcoming her, before she could walk. Once there, she sat across from the boss and waited for her to look up from her work.
"Good morning," Lana said softly, and saw Miriah's gaze transfer to hers. She was hit with the sadness she saw, and was momentarily speechless.
"Hey, Lana. Ready for the news?"
Lana nodded and proceeded to tell Miriah of the state of the base. They discussed the treatment for the prisoner they had in custody, as well as readiness of the main base. Haven was asking for a spring festival, which Miriah agreed with, and Riggsville was almost complete. "Arcann says they're increasing the farm production this year in anticipation of helping our bought foods, and they're ready to start producing meat for our tables as well."
"Very good, Lana. I appreciate you gathering all this information," Miriah said. "You should go rest."
"No, you should. You look in worse shape than me," Lana joked, but Miriah didn't crack a smile, as she normally would. In the ensuing silence, she saw Corso's scowl and wondered what had transpired, but didn't ask. Instead, she stood. "I'll finish the morning and then collect Tali. I'll stop in before I go." Miriah only nodded and Lana left, feeling as if she had somehow made a misstep.
Aric had made the rounds of the specialists and picked up fresh caf and cocoa. He entered the office and put the carrier down. Miriah picked up the cocoa without looking away from her screen, and Aric sent a questioning look to Corso, who shrugged. Devin was in the hallway, and Aric knew he was reaching out with the force. "Mir, aren't you supposed to be home today?" he asked, and saw that moment when she lost control of her temper.
"Don't you all get it?" she snapped. "No matter what we do, there's always a threat. We have one on our planet already, and possibly one joining us. The Empire is just waiting for us to reveal a weakness." Her voice rose and she continued. "Even if I spent the day at home, this would all be going on." She was shouting now, and Devin appeared in the doorway. "If this fails, if the Alliance falls, it will be on me! I can't just lay around, waiting for it to happen!"
Devin felt the despair bubbling up in his mother and reached out with force to her. Her anger pulsed around her, but he also felt her fear. Mom, we're not going to let the Alliance fall. You know we're all here with you. But Miriah was too far gone in her rant to hear him. When she finally collapsed in her chair, and all was quiet, he tried again. I'm here, Mom. I'm here, and I'll do whatever you need. Just, please, listen to Dad and Aunt Mags. Just for today. He met her gaze and after a minute, she nodded slightly.
"Dad, take Mom home for a bit," he said, and saw Miriah stand. Corso rushed to her side, and without a word, they left the office. Aric turned to his nephew.
"Dev, I had already offered to help. She knew that," he said, and Devin felt his frustration.
"You know how stubborn she is," Devin answered, and Aric acknowledged his words. Lana had heard the raised voices and stuck her head around the door. "It's okay, Lana. Mom just had a little meltdown. She's over stressed. Dad took her home. I'll stay here today."
"I was just setting out, but I can come back," Lana said, but both Aric and Devin shook their heads.
"You go and rest. We've got this," Aric assured her, and with the absence of Miriah's emotions, peace filled the office.
Corso went the kitchen and got a beer from the cooler. He felt tired, and he wasn't nearly as stressed as his wife was. Taking a deep breath, he wondered how to help her, and then if he even should. She'd been so angry before, he thought. He could hear her in the bedroom, and it sounded like she was throwing things. Sighing, he made his way to her.
Miriah was so angry with the universe that she wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to shoot something, but that would only provide a temporary release, she knew. She was embarrassed that she'd yelled in the office, but couldn't deny the tiny bit of relief it had given her. Now, she knew she needed to apologize to her husband, but was afraid of what would come out of her mouth if she opened it. She quickly stripped off her clothing, throwing it against the wall, and slipped into her tub. The water was scalding hot, and she felt her blood pressure lessen as her vessels expanded in the warmth. As it did, she felt the rage start to subside and the regret surge. She was fighting tears when Corso arrived, but didn't say anything as he sat beside her.
"I'm sorry," they said together, after several minutes of silence. "No, darlin', I should have realized the incredible stress you were feeling."
"I should have told you or somebody before it got so bad. I think I've just been sleeping because that's the only time I don't feel as if I'm being suffocated by it all." Miriah sighed. "And I really shouldn't have taken anything out on you."
"You didn't," Corso said. "You just vented. You can do that, you know. You're allowed. Entitled, even." He kissed her forehead, then moved to her mouth. "I'll let you relax, love." Miriah nodded and watched as he left the room, and wondered if she'd hurt him more than he let on.
Aric took over the information gathering and calls that Lana would normally handle, while Devin went through the list that Miriah had made for herself. He had sent word to Mia where he was, and she was worried about his mother. He was, too, if he were honest with himself. He'd never seen her go off like that before, and while he knew there was an abundance of stress involved with her job, he always thought she handled it well. He'd seen glimpses of the stress at Life Day, and had wondered then how she was doing. I let my own mother suffer, he thought, and it shamed him. Determined to take more of the burden from her, he contacted the temple and shifted all of his classes to other instructors. I'll be here from now on, he thought, and I can at least keep Mom from doing everything. He knew his father would help, but Miriah had done this for so long, it was hard for her to give it up. Even as it threatened her sanity. With a renewed focus, he pulled up her computer and set to work.
Miriah toweled off and stepped into the bedroom, where she was taken by surprise. On every surface, electronic candles put off a soft glow. Corso had put a warmed, soft cover over the bed, and she could hear very soft, soothing music. "Lay down, love," he told her, and she lay on her stomach. Corso moved her hair to the side and began to massage her, working the knots from her neck and shoulders first.
Corso loved the feel of her skin under his hands, but he focused on the tension she held and working it from her body. When he felt her slip into sleep, he stood and covered her, hoping she could get some true rest. Leaving the bedroom, he was startled to see Sarai standing in the family room. "She's sleeping," he said, but Sarai only nodded.
"I felt the force ripples," she said softly, and sat with him. Caly was busy cooking in the kitchen, and the family room smelled wonderful with her efforts. "She needs to find ways to deal with this pressure. I want to help."
"I'm sure she'd love anything you can show her," Corso said. He sat back and realized he was tired, too. So much, in so short a period of time. Sarai covered him with force, and he slept. When she was sure he was sleeping, she joined Caly in the kitchen.
"Let's feed her things that will help with stress. Let me show you," Sarai told her granddaughter. Caly nodded. They all needed stress relief, she thought, and listened carefully to Sarai's instructions.
Mags knew that Miriah had initially defied her, but she also knew that now she was resting. Sometimes, that's enough, she thought.