A/N: To everyone who rudely writes reviews and think they have any sway of how I write future chapters, don't waste your time. I have already written most of the future chapters and your reviews have no pull in the direction I'm going to go. If you dont like the story, dont read it.
A faint beeping noise is the first thing I hear, telling me where I am. When I open my eyes I'm not surprised to see myself in a hospital.
Christian of course is sitting in the chair by my bed, his brow furrowed. When he sees I'm awake he instantly stands and is by my side in seconds.
"What happened?" I ask, surprised that my voice isn't as raspy as it has been lately.
Christian tenses and through gritted teeth says, "You are malnourished."
I purse my lips and look away from him. Shit.
A female Doctor that I've never seen before stands at the end of my bed, holding a chart and examining it carefully. Her face is more open and kind than Dr. Greens always serious demeanor. I already like this Doctor much more. She has red hair that is pulled back into a bun and her dark red lipstick makes her ivory skin even more vibrant. Shes a little older than me but very pretty.
"Hello Ana, I'm Dr. Nixon. I'm just going over your chart now. I heard that you haven't been eating much at home."
I don't say anything, just peek up at Christian to talk for me.
Christians brow is still furrowed and I can tell he's mad at me. "She's hardly eaten anything. I can't even get her to drink much usually."
Dr. Nixon nods and writes a few things down.
"Ana, you need to eat. Real foods. Something solid. You'll never get any stronger if you keep this up." She says, without looking up at her chart.
I shake my head, "I'm fine." I say, and when she goes to speak I snap at her, "I said I'm fine!" This surprises both Christian and Dr. Nixon. I feel bad but I'm just so sick of everyone trying to force feed me and force me to feel better on their time. I just want to be left alone.
Regaining her composure Dr. Nixon looks at me sternly. Somewhat seeming to channel Dr. Greene.
"You need to eat Ana." She repeats. Her and Christian exchange looks, then she heads out.
I look at him. He's still in his sports gear he had on…earlier? I have no idea how long I've been here, but now he's also wearing a grey hoodie, which only enhances his eyes.
"Ana," he says, his voice is distant. Not at all the same pleading Christian as usual. He reminds me of when we first met. Very standoffish. "You'll being staying here I guess, until you're strong enough to go home."
Wait, what?
Panic rises up my spine and I imagine I look like a deer in headlights. "No!" I say, tears springing to my eyes. "Don't leave me!" I understand why he'd want to. But I can't. As much as I've wanted my solace these past days, knowing Christian was at arms length was soothing. If he had gone to work at all, I would've been furious. But he hasn't. Ever loyal Christian stayed and worked at home, and I had been nothing but a bitch to him. I begin sobbing, "Please, Christian don't leave me!"
He springs into action, instantly popping back into my Christian and hurries to sit on the bed beside me, sweeping me into his arms. I cling to him, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. Why had I been so cruel to him? I feel my body sigh as he holds me tight.
"Oh Baby," he croons in my ear, practically groaning at being able to finally touch me and me responding normally to him. "I would never leave you. I meant, I would stay here too. I just thought that was understood."
I can't stop crying though. It is as if my body was going into step two, and I had to cry everything a new with Christian holding me.
"I want to go home! I'll eat I promise. Please, just-take me home Christian." I sob into his chest.
He runs his hand up and down my back, "Okay Baby," he kisses my hair.
Next morning:
Because I was admitted with malnourishment, Dr. Nixon wouldn't let me leave until today, and sent me home with a nutrition plan that I'm required to follow for at least the next three weeks.
Once we got back to our place in Aspen we immediately packed and headed back home. The plane ride seemed quick, me resting against Christians shoulder then entire time, and once we landed Taylor was waiting outside of the car patiently.
Christians POV:
We sit in the back of the car, Taylor at the wheel, driving us home. Ana is draped across my lap, her head tucked into the crook of my neck as I rub my hand soothingly up and down her leg. "Shh, it's okay Baby." I whisper in her ear, then kiss her cheek. It feels so good to touch her. I have missed it so much. She no longer cries, but just whimpers every now and then. She's been beating herself up about the way she has treated me, ever since we left the hospital.
"I was so awful to you," She says in a small voice.
I shake my head, "Hush. I deserved it."
That adorable frown is strewn about her face as she pulls away just enough to be able to look at me. "You did not."
I kiss the corner of her mouth where the ends are pointed down, "Hush. Lay back down and try to rest some more." She obeys, immediately snugging back up to me. My arms wrap around her waist and I hold her tight. I catch Taylors eye in the review mirror and he quickly looks back at the road but his relieved smile doesn't go unnoticed by me. Him and Gail have been so worried about her, and I don't blame them. Ana has been nothing but a shell of herself these past days and its been shocking for all of us. I can't believe its only been a little over two weeks, but it feels like its been months at the least.
When we get to the house, Ana refuses to leave my side. She has to be touching me, holding me, having some type of contact. Not that I object, I welcom it all. It's such a head spin from how she had been treating me the past week.
I cary her to our bedroom, even after she tries to argue that she is perfectly capable of walking.
When I sit her gently in our bed, her grip around my neck tightens as I try to stand up. "No, please stay." She murmurs and there is a small trace of panic in her voice.
Smiling I reach around and unclasp her hands, "I'm just going to go have Gail make you a tray."
She shakes her head like a petulant child, "Im not hungry."
I give her a stern look, "Ana, you told me you'd eat, remember?" I say, using her words against her.
Pouting she lays back on her pillow. I grin, leaning down to kiss her forehead, "Rest. I'll be right back." Then I head off to the kitchen in search of Gail.
After informing Gail that Ana is indeed better and wanting food, even though it's a lie, I walk quickly back to our room. Quietly, I open the door and walk inside. Ana is asleep surprisingly. I go over to her, crawling into my side of the bed and pulling her to me. She groans and stirs. Her eyes flutter open and she looks up at me.
"Sleep, Baby." I whisper in her ear, before kissing the spot underneath.
She moans, a quiet moan and her body softly moves. I feel her push back into me and my breath catches at her bold move.
"Ana…" I'm in no shape for her to be teasing me right now.
She rolls over so that we are nose to nose. "Christian, please." Her voice is small and pulls at my heartstrings. I'm still resisting, but it has been so long sense I have, had sex with her, that I want nothing more than to burry myself in her as deep as possible. Before I can protest further, her lips are on mine, silencing any words from me. I groan as her lips move forcefully, surprising me again at her eagerness. She must have missed this just as much as me. But Ana's well being is more important to me than my horniness. I pull her back gently. "Ana, no." My eyes are still shut and my brow pushes together. I seem to be trying to convince myself more than her that we can't do this.
"Please Christian. I need this right now." She swings a leg over me so she's straddling my waist. I groan as she grinds down onto my rock hard cock.
"Ana…" I try to have some authority to my voice, but its weak even to my own ears.
"Shhh," She says, right before her lips find mine again. I know theres no use to fight against it anymore. Fuck sake, I've wanted her begging me to fuck her for the last hellish days that have passed.
I don't fight it anymore, letting my hands roam her body and I try not to cringe as my hands mold into her more than thin frame. I hate the fact that she doesn't eat anymore but I try to remember what the good doctor had told me privately and that was that she needs time to cope. One of the main signs of depression is lack of appetite so it'll be a while until she's back to eating normally. My jaw clenches at the thought and I tell myself if I have to hold her down and force feed her I will.
"Christian," Ana moans, bringing me back to the now.
"Yes, baby, I'm right here." I murmur as I kiss that spot just below her ear that I know she loves so much. I'm rewarded with her moan and another grind against my erection. Flipping us so she is underneath me and I slowly lift her shirt above her head. Her arms lift up for me to make it easier and I instantly cup her breast.
Arching her back, she gives me better access to them. I'm about to completely worship her body, it has just been too long and I've missed being this close to her.
"I love you Ana," I whisper as I pepper kisses all along her neck. She groans and instinctively flexes her hips at me.
"I love you too Christian." Her voice is thick with need and it arouses me even more.
Reaching behind her I undo her bra, leaning her forward I quickly remove it and she falls back onto the pillows beneath her. My mouth waste no time and is on her right nipple, sucking madly.
"Uh!" She breaths, her head arching back as her eyes screw shut. I flick my tongue over the bud beneath me and soon its taut and erect. I move to her left breast and I repeat the action.
Anas hands move to my hair and she pulls furiously, something I love.
"Christian-please." Her voice is so wanting, its all I can do not to cum right here and now.
"What is it you want, Baby?" I ask, moving my hand down between her legs. She still has on those fucking yoga "pants", that she calls them. They drive me crazy and her ass looks amazing in them. I pull the pants down her legs and slide my fingers inside her panties. Im not surprised to find that she's absolutely soaked for me. I groan as my fingers slide inside her.
"Fuck, you're so wet." I move my lips back to hers. Her breathing is coming so harshly I can tell she's already wanting to cum just on my fingers.
"Christian, I want you inside me," Ana says finally. This surprises me but I'm more than happy to oblige. I slowly slip my fingers out of her, not missing the opportunity to lick every drop of her from my fingers. She watches in amazement, biting down on her bottom lip. I shake my head at her and lean back down, pulling her lips away from her teeth with my own, and I bite down on it lightly. "You know that drives me crazy when you do that." I breath against her lips. She sucks in a breath but remains silent. I stand, quickly removing all my clothes. Leaning over I pull her panties off, leaving her naked with me. Slowly I crawl up her body not stopping until Im hovering right over her face.
"I love you," I tell her again. I can see tears forming in her eyes as she smiles up at me. Her hands slowly slide along my arms, something that at one time I'd never have let her do. Now, I absolutely love it.
I sink inside her, causing us both to groan. Her head falls back again and her eyes close. Im staring down at her though and stop when I'm all the way inside her. "Look at me."
Her eyes open and she looks up. I begin moving in and out of her again, relishing in the feeling.
"I love you Christian," She whispers, right as one of her tears spill down her cheek. I lean down and kiss the trail she's left behind, back up her cheek.
I can already feel myself ready to cum, but I refuse to even entrain the thought until she does.
"Do you want me to cum inside you?" I ask, the nagging question not leaving my mind.
She blinks and looks up at me. "I haven't…I haven't gotten back on my birth control…."
I dont even flinch, "I know."
She just stares back at me for a moment. I have stopped moving but am still inside her, waiting on her decision.
"You might get me pregnant again though." She says, looking down.
"I want that." I say honestly.
"What?" She leans back more, to be able to look at me more clearly.
"I've already called Dr. Greene and talked to her about it. She said after two weeks we could start trying again-"
"Christian, I thought you weren't ready."
"I am. I want this. I know its something you want so badly, and Baby, after watching you these past hellish days, seeing you that way-I want you to have a baby with me. I want us to be parents. I want you to be happy."
Shes crying now, and I reach out my hand and brush her hair back soothingly.
"I dont want you to feel like you have to do this, Christian. I know you're not ready-"
I kiss her to silence her. "I am though." I say against her lips.
Her eyes search mine for any signs of lying or to make sure I really am ready. "I want this so bad," She says through tears.
"Lets do this then Baby. Lets make a baby."
Nodding she wraps her legs tightly around my waist, silently telling me to continue. We continue, both humming together, hands clasped together and Ana crying from the emotions of it all. Afterwards I hold her tightly, her head resting against my chest and she cries some more. I remain silent, kissing her hair every now and then and running my hand up and down her back.
Eventually she falls asleep this way and I'm left to think of the past few days and the decisions I have made that have led up to this moment.
I had been going crazy with Ana spiraling downward and I had called Dr. Greene, asking when Ana would be able to try again. I figured that was the best solution. And by now, I was completely all in. I had been taken so off guard the first time, but now, seeing her this way, seeing just how badly she wanted a baby, only made me want one. I lived to make her happy and there was no way I was going to continue to sit idly by and watched her deteriorate in front of me. I had a plan to sit her down and talk it over with her, maybe in another week, when she had a little more time.
But now that she had been ready for sex, I decided to seize the moment and ask her if she wanted to try now.
As she softly snores on my chest, I send up a silent prayer that she's now pregnant again and we can hopefully move on from this hell.