The passageways were narrow and the few torches that illuminated them were far in between. It seemed like I was walking into a mystery, a hidden treasure. Blade didn't seem to notice any of this, used to the ambience. Even so, he slowed down to let me bathe in the feeling. He didn't even need to turn to know I wanted to take a moment. When did he get to know me so well? Why was I blushing at the idea? I didn't like Blade, did I?
For the first time I imagined this visit as a different fairy tale. Instead of a King taking a low Lady as his bride I saw the same low Lady leaving behind titles and riches to follow a stable boy towards adventure. I didn't matter that I couldn't accurately say what Blade's job was, the story was slowly forming in my mind. The places he'd take me to see just like now. The sleepless nights…
My god, I had truly fallen for this man, hadn't I? Once, a friend had told me I took less than half an hour to become infatuated with a person. It seemed right even in how ridiculous this all felt. I didn't even know his name! yet a love story had already been created in my mind. Why was I so ridiculous?
While thinking this I found myself almost skipping and running ahead my guide. When he grinned sardonically at me, I realized I needed to slow down. We walked side by side for a moment, not talking. It didn't matter. I liked watching him. His hair seemed to take a slightly ginger touch in the fire flame, making me realize his hair was probably brown and not black. I suddenly wished for daylight to be able to see every detail in him and mark it in my memory. He was gorgeous in the shadows, but I was sure that wouldn't change in the light.
My mind finally caught up with the meaning of this and I ducked my head and fell a pace behind him, hoping he wouldn't notice. Even if I knew that was probably ridiculous. He was much to perceptive and I was much too obvious. He didn't comment on it which I was glad for. How did I not realize my feelings with the giddiness this morning or how easily he could break my heart?
As my steps slowed even more, I heard Myra growl on my back. It was the first time I realized she had followed us. Her eyes shone with aggressiveness. She clearly didn't like me, and even more obviously she despised the attention her friend was gifting me with. I swallowed with difficulty when her canines shone orange in the dim light and started walking again. The wolf was a good friend of Blade, but she still scared me. I knew of her intelligence but couldn't stop thinking of her as a feral beast.
The young man was looking at the exchange with slightly furrowed brows and shot the Narnian a warning look. He was protecting me which made me smile like a fool. After this brief action he took to leading us again. I knew of the size of the palace and knew that secret passageways usually took long turns to keep hidden but I was still surprised by how long this was turning to be. We'd been here for at least half an hour, surrounded by slightly humid walls. Not that it wasn't taken care of. This was clearly frequented place. It was strange to think there was no staff rounding this zone. The ball must've still been in full swing, servants weren't asleep, yet no sound came. No voices could be heard.
"How come there's no one here?" I asked in a whisper. I was starting to realize how easy it was to spook me and felt slightly embarrassed. The confused look my companions gave me only made me more uncomfortable and I felt like I needed to justify myself. "I mean, it's still early and there's a ball happening. I would have thought the passageways would be full of servants." Blade's smile wasn't condescending unlike Myra's eyes. He seemed more amused and understanding of where confusion could come from.
"This aren't service passageways." He explained. "They were built for security. Almost no one knows of them. The service passageways are a whole other net. So, unless a royal guard or one of the Kings and Queens decide to take a stroll down a zone that is supposed to be only for emergencies, we're good."
It made sense. A security system not even the staff would know of. That way even an infiltrate couldn't trap the royals in the castle. It was a smart military move. But it didn't explain how Blade knew of this place. His stories had made it clear he was a soldier but if he was part of the royal guard he should be at the balls and would certainly look more presentable. His behavior also ruled out the possibility of him being a noble. Especially one of enough status to know of this hallways.
I considered the idea of him having been part of the royal guard and having been diminished but that made little sense. No monarch would let someone with such secret information leave so freely. Plus, he seemed far too young to have achieved such exploit and have lost it. Sure, he said he'd known war since he was only ten, but no monarch would put a child in such a position.
"How come you know about this place?" I questions and I felt him tense ever so slightly. It wasn't visible in his shoulders or the energy radiation off him but his fingers in my wrists tightened for a millisecond. He hid his emotions well, but he was clearly unused to doing so while maintaining physical contact. A lonely man. His footsteps stopped and he let go of my wrist, but it seemed like a sign of attention more than one of tension. He was good at hiding and I hoped he would one day stop.
I thought of taking back my question but quickly realized something. I wanted to respect him and his limits but if this was to be a friendship, he needed to let some of his walls down. It was a two-person job. If, however, decided not to answer I wouldn't push. I would still let him know of my curiosity. I couldn't treat him like he was made of glass and any enquiry would destroy him.
Myra, on the other hand, made standing my ground much more difficult. I had clearly stumbled on a secret for her neck fur had stuck up and her fangs were showing. She was ready to attack me for even gracing the subject. My will to befriend the creature was slowly leaving me, replaced by genuine fear. She wouldn't hesitate to hurt me to protect Blade.
"Let's just say that you made a mistake when judging me." His words took away my breath as I turned quickly away from the animal. I had been caught up in staying vigilant of the female and forgot he was still there, a safe place.
"I seem to be doing that a lot." I answer guiltily. And it was true. Even if I didn't know what he meant it clearly had to do with prejudice. Was he truly a royal guard? Or maybe a spy? Who was he? I needed to know. "How do you know about this place?" I repeated my question instead, afraid of going to far too fast. And immediately regretted it. I had just agreed with myself to not treat him like he was made of glass. And I was doing just that.
"I'm actually quite close to the monarchs." He said with a small smirk, but his eyes spoke of a bit of guilt. Was it for not telling me? For diminishing his bond to the Kings and Queens? He seemed to do that a lot. Mention circumstances as thought their impact was small to keep secrets. And then what he said caught up to me. He had met the rulers of this country, even considered himself part of his friends. Which he must be to know of this secret.
"You're a noble?" I exclaimed, highly surprised. It made sense, after all no person of their status would be so close to a commoner. It explained so much. How he knew of the Queen's couches, how he could talk so of their personalities and how insulted he'd felt when I insulted his friend, King Edmund.
"I thought we agreed on no titles." His sardonic behavior was back, a way to deflect the weight of this conversation. A defense mechanism. He seemed to have a lot of those. I wondered who's hurt him so badly. And wished them a painful death. Even so, I let him stir the discussion to a lighter tone.
"That's not a no" The teasing was back. No matter, I still took his last statement as affirmation of my suspicion.
"It's also not a yes." I had to admit his victory. He confused me again. I was back to square one. I tried to convey my annoyance through a glare, but my mouth betrayed me by lifting into a smile. He laughed slightly at it. A chuckle, not a full-on laugh like the night before. Such a shame.
He took to guiding me again, this time without holding me. I wished he would do so again.
It took another fifteen minutes to reach our destination a small drain like exit. This was, of course, a disguise. The exit was too high to be for trash and no pathway around had any kind of waist. The bars were also easy to move as he proved by shifting their lower side to create an opening.
"After you." He announced with an ever so slightly mocking bow. I smiled with joyous annoyance at his action before passing through the makeshift door. Even with the modification that had been made to make this more suitable for passage it was still uncomfortably tight. When I had crossed, I was impressed to find myself in the beach. The terrace was in the higher zones of the building and now I was at the bottom not having realized we had gone so low. We were even down the cliff!
I was standing in what I could tell was warm sand even through my slippers. In front of me were a couple of meters of sands before trees started to make their appearance. It was the entrance to Western Woods. Behind me was the cliff. The palace was quite a way further in the earthly barrier. No wonder it took us so long to reach this place.
He followed after me and after a swift "Come on, I still want to show you something" continued to guide me. We waked to the right, distancing ourselves from the woods and the mysterious exit. His steps were slow, calm. I followed his example and took a deep breath. The salt of the ocean tickled my nostrils and filled me with peace. My stress washed away easily and the weight of the ambience I had mention some nights ago seemed to have lifted, leaving a bubble of serenity behind.
I suddenly didn't care about much but enjoying this moment, feeling human and alive in the simplicity of it all. As we neared the edge of the water the lights from the castle became more present and the slightest whispers of music from the ballroom could be heard. A small company to three lonely figures standing in the sand. The perfect accent to this experience. We strolled ever closer to the sea. I had been at sea often during my life, but the waters looked different now. Their gorgeous turquoise color was replaced by an infinite dark blue expanse. And in the navy landscape the white foam crashed, destroying the mirror that was the salted water.
The percussion of its collision with the sand created the perfect complement of the high pitches of the flutes coming from the castle. Speaking of which I took a small glance back to it. The marble, towering building looked even bigger from beneath the cliff. A true testament of power and magic. Some balconies looked towards our direction but only one caught my eye. It seemed to come from the ballroom if the lights were anything to go by. It had the perfect view of us for anyone that decided to look. And I didn't care.
Blade was safe. Why worry about being seen if he wasn't scared himself?
The enormous serenity that took my spirit as I realized this made this moment precious. This walk was suddenly much too good to ever stop.
"Don't show me." I sated looking towards my friend. He stopped for a second to study me. I knew I hadn't been too clear, but I hoped his intuition would do the rest. "The place you wanted to show me. Don't. Let's just walk. No secret destination today." I explained. His brows furrowed in confusion, but he was smiling with a bit of surprise. No anger nor disappointment. Just surprise.
"Alright… No secret destination today." He agreed with the same expression, making me beam at him. Truly, the smallest gesture from him could make me melt.
I took a longer stride to catch up with him and walk by his side. He didn't need to guide, not anymore. I could be opening the pace and it wouldn't change how aimless we were being. It was, not doubt with that thought that I took his hand and dragged him along with me. His startled exclamation was drowned in my laughter as I ran for the first time since my childhood.
He would've been able to take control back with his bigger strength and longer legs, but he made no attempt, letting me take him in a childish run through the beach. I, myself, found it amusing and liberating. I was laughing like I hadn't in years because at that moment I wasn't Lady Maucin, I was Ariana a young and quite stupid child enjoying her time with great company. Without letting go of him, I started twirling, taking him for a vertiginous ride that almost made him trip. Thankfully he didn't and instead ended up having to bring me closer to him and take my other hand to avoid such incidents.
I boomed with laughter at his actions, throwing my head back and letting our impulse guide us for a couple of milliseconds. I was ecstatic with the juvenile act and found only more joy when a velvet like burst of laughter joined mine. I looked up to see Blade's eyes glinting with the light of youth, of carefreeness. I smiled more if it was even possible and laughed harder.
Apparently, a part of my actions must've been seen as a challenge for he was suddenly taking control, spinning us so much faster, leaving me more a pivot than a motor. I stopped moving my feet and just let him drag me through the sand, letting my weight fall back, knowing he had me. He was laughing like a child and so was I.
We were pure joy in the perimeter our rotations defined.
Eventually the dizziness and inertia were too much for me and I found myself tumbling to the ground, falling on top of my friend with a sight 'humph'. I had, of course, taken him down with me, not that it stopped our giggles. We had let go of each other's hands but with me lying perpendicular to him with my stomach on his no contact had truly been lost.
I could feel his stomach vibrating with each inhalation tainted by his laugh which only spurred my own uncontrolled giggles. I hardly cared that my face was basically plastered to the sand or that my dress was no doubt damaged. I was having fun. Doing something I wanted to do.
Finally, we calmed ourselves slightly. As my breathing became deeper and more regular, I heard him say "I don't think this counts as walking." Which brought the second round of thunderous exclamations of joy.
It took calming myself from this to realize what position I was in. I was lying on top of a man! Worse of all a man I felt romantically towards. I quickly sat straight and took a slight distance, blushing to my ears in shame. He was still in the sand, oblivious to my discomfort as he took several deep breaths before going limb, fully relaxed for the first time since I met him. I shortly wondered if he was asleep only for a chuckle like exhale to break that image. He was just resting. And he was doing so happily. I smiled once more, deciding that the shame I had just felt was worth seeing him this way.
He seemed so much younger than ever before and if I thought last night had brought sparks to his eyes, this moment showed me he'd still been sober in that moment. His face was completely lax now with only his slight smile to make his cheeks and jawline a bit more notorious. Sand was in his messy hair and even in his face. The moonlight was more intense here than in the balcony letting me see the slightest freckle marks in his face. His head was tilted backwards, showing the length of his neck and the protuberance of his Adam apple. There were a couple of scars in the white skin there, one specifically continued to his shoulder and hid beneath his tunic. The smallest flicker of his chest could be seen through the holes in the disarrayed clothes.
He was a true piece of art.
"Thank you for that." He said bringing my attention back to his face, and even more his beautiful lips. "I haven't laughed that way since my dad left. I forgot how it felt." An absent father. It explained so much about him. And yet it explained so very little.
"I haven't done it in years either. A proper Lady shouldn't run." I recited the last part making my best impression of my governess' voice. I was pretty sure I'd done a terrible job at imitating the old hag but, he still snorted loudly.
"Just one more reason to forget titles." He affirmed making me roll my eyes playfully for what felt like the thousandth time. We stayed this way for some time, just enjoying this night. "You know, when I first came here there were so many things I wanted to do. But others told me what they told you. That it wasn't my place to do those things." He admitted, constructing on the idea he was a noble. And for the first time something we had in common had been admitted. It felt like a milestone.
"Well, we could do a couple of them" I proposed smiling. He immediately sat up straighter and looked at me with an alien expression. "It's just us. Why not do those things?" He studied me a bit longer, almost like he was calculating the danger I posed. It seemed a little ridiculous to me. Usually, when people told you it wasn't your place to do something, the action was pretty harmless.
"I guess… I mean, they're kind of silly. I was ten years old." He wasn't afraid of doing something dangerous, he was terrified of being judged. Why did I find that so adorable?
"It doesn't matter. Let's do them, enjoy them. Even if we are ten years too late." My reassurance seemed to work as he was now standing and offering me his hand to get up. "So, what are we doing?"
"We're doing some more running, with a bit of splashing around. I'd say swimming but since you don't know how to I guess we'll skip that." He answered guiding us closer to the shore.
"You want to go in the sea?" my voice was a bit cautious. I really had never learned to float and was thought from a young age to beware of the huge blue.
"It's okay. The first few meter are too shallow for you to be in any risk. Plus, if something happened the mermaids would get you out." His expression was calming but when he still read doubt in mine, he stopped and looked at me seriously. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I won't judge you or be upset."
I knew he was being honest, and I was scared. But most of all I wanted to see the beauty on the other side of this danger. I wanted to see him smile that way again and that was worth the risk. "Let's do it"
He looked at me, astonished but slowly his expression turned into gratitude and joy. His eyes showed the ten-year-old that had fantasied about the waves. A part of him was still very much that of a child whose youth had been stolen. Without loosing that glow in his face, he bent down to take of hiss boots, untying them in the precise movements of a soldier. I followed his example, leaving my fancy slippers next to his worn-out shoe-wear.
I was enticed by the contrast of that view and didn't notice him taking his shirt off until he folded it next to our belongings. Instantly fire burned in my cheeks. Here I was, alone, in a beach with a half-naked men that looked like the statue of a god in the moonlight. His chest was chiseled to perfection and the nasty scars that covered his torso only made it much more attractive. I wanted to run my fingers through each mark life had left in him. I sucked my head, embarrassed. What was I even thinking?
If he noticed how uncomfortable yet excited I was, he didn't acknowledge it which I was glad for. I knew the water would damage the clothing and he'd done this purely for comfort and for the sake of keeping what he had in decent conditions, but it all seemed so intimate. And I wanted more of that intimacy that I feared so much. I thought of how wrong what I was about to do was but convinced myself that it was for the sake of keeping this a secret. How was I supposed to explain the sand in my dress after all?
"Help me out of the dress'" I proposed, feeling like I was on fire. Was I going too fast? No, this was a childish activity, there was nothing romantic about how his long fingers did quick work of the lace in my back, freeing the dress.
I slipped out of the heavy garment and was left in only a light underdress. I knew I should have felt exposed but when he didn't react by looking at my body with lust, I just felt free. This was happening amongst friend and how I felt didn't change that this night was all about getting our childhood back. It wasn't like my clothing was that revealing, it was a looser version of my dress which skirt only reached my knees. It wasn't like my cleavage was showing either. Sure, it was new to let someone other than my family see my legs, but I had gone to river shores with my brother and ended up in the same gear. I'd be fine.
Blade smiled at me. And sprinted to the sea.
I laughed as I approached much slower. I was scared but seeing him just letting himself fall on his back with no fear of the waves calmed me down, letting me see there could be joy in the expanse of the ocean. I was still cautious as I neared and let the waves caress my fingers. It felt amazing, like the lightest tickles. As the water returned to its source however, I felt a small rush of adrenaline as I took the sand I was standing in, with it. It didn't make me loose my balance in any way, but my fear was still present. I took me a couple of minutes of just standing to realize there was no danger and start to enjoy the experience.
While I did my slow introduction to the sea, Blade had taken to going deeper into the ocean and swimming for a while. I was mesmerized, not only did he not seem fazed by the waves that moved him along with them but his hair, wet as it was, was both sticking to his face and flying off as he moved his head to take air. He was so beautiful it took my breath away.
When he noticed I was a bit more confident he came back closer to the shore and stood up. He was soaking wet and smiling from ear to ear. He took my hands and started to slowly guide me deeper into the water. Soon I was knee deep and the feeling of the sand moving beneath my toes was gone. My legs were being caressed softly, lovingly. I laughed a little letting go of some of my fear and let him show me the beauty this held. He pulled me down letting the next wave lift me slightly of my feet, like I was floating and my lips taste salt. I yelped loudly, terrified but after the few seconds it lasted for, I saw myself once again unharmed and hysterically chuckled.
"See, you don't need to be scared. I promise, nothing bad is gonna happen." He comforted me while another wave made us float for just a second. It took some time but eventually I believed him. This was actually quite fun, simple but fun. He started to let go of my hands and I froe, grabbing him in a death grip.
"Don't let go." I begged, not ready to let my safety leave me. I was getting more confident but still needed the reassurance of his hands in mine.
"Ok. Just close your eyes. You'll like it." He agreed. With my heart still beating for thinking he would let go I obeyed. I felt his start moving us through the waves. He kept us on the shallow terrain but now the waves weren't the only force moving us. We glided through the water and I started laughing uncontrollably. It felt like such freedom, like I would take flight any seconds. I understood his love for water and wished I could stay longer so he'd teach me how to swim.
When I shivered from the cold, he guided me out of the water and I instantly missed the feeling. I had just learned something new: I loved the ocean. As I exited the water, I realized I was soaking wet from head to toe and also that sand had come with water and dusted my body. It created a slightly itching feeling that I didn't quite appreciate. My body still felt like it was being rocked by the waves and that I knew I liked.
We took a couple of steps to distance ourselves from the big blue and sat down. The warm beneath us was warm from a day in the sun and with the hot breeze all around us we were drying up in no time. I still got closer to him to feel his heat and chase away the last of the cold. He let me, not tensing under the contact for the first time since I met him. My ra came from behind us and laid down on our backs, warming our wet bodies with her fur. We stayed that way, taking long, relaxing breaths and enjoying the music of the tide.
"Thank you." He finally said, looking at me with shining eyes. Happy eyes. "I know that was hard for you. Thank you. You were truly brave." His compliment made me turn red and even if I appreciated what he said, I couldn't help but bring teasing back into the conversation.
"I wouldn't say brave. I was shivering the entire time and I've never screamed as loudly as I did when that fish brushed my leg." I answered, a smirk coloring my voice. His laughter boomed next to me making it all worth it. The conversation was over. We had said what needed to be said.
Almost subconsciously I laid my head in his shoulder. He let me do so, calmly. Didn't respond but I knew how much the relaxation of his body at all moment meant. Was it really this same night that he had gone stiff for a hug? I realized something in that moment: he didn't truly mind physical contact, he minded the idea of someone taking down his barriers. And I had manage to do that in only a couple of nights.
"You know what I love about being here?" he asked with a calm voice. No sign of the earlier stress was left in him. "I can just look back at the castle and it looks so small. Ike, only a couple of lights in the distance. It makes all my problems seem smaller." I looked back to Cair Paravel to realize we were much further away that I had initially thought. The sea movement must've helped us get here faster. He was right, from here the castle looked small, insignificant and all the stress that came with it seemed distant as well.
"This was your secret spot all along!" I accused playfully, finally realizing that he'd found a way to give me peace even in our juvenile games.
"It is. I knew you'd like to see things become so small." He explained with a sly smirk that hid his joy and peaceful state rather poorly. And he was right. I liked feeling free form all I heard this morning. But I couldn't let it go. It would fester in me tomorrow if I didn't get answers and would make everything turn darker like my opinion of King Edmund had today.
"Blade?" he hummed in response. I sat up straighter, a silent sign that what I was about to say was serious. He gave me his full attention immediately. "You said you are friends with the Kings and Queens. Do you think… Do you think King Edmund could've seen enemies where there weren't because of his illness?" I asked, wishing I didn't need to add this weight to his shoulders. His brow furrowed, almost like he was wondering ow much I knew instead of just giving an answer.
"What did you hear?" he asked gently but with some suspicion. Myra had tensed behind us, she seemed ready to attack me. To me this was proof. There was an enemy close to us. Did he already know? Should I tell him what I found out. The wolf's presence made me want to say no. that I was in enough trouble as it was. But his eyes stayed genuine, dark in the starlit night. Honest and trusting. He wouldn't hurt me for the knowledge I acquired.
"I heard King Peter talking to one of his generals this morning. They were talking about how this could be a dangerous time because King Edmund had suspected one of their closest allies of wanting to betray them. He didn't seem to think it was real, or maybe he just didn't want to. It scares, to think I might be in danger for coming here." The confession took the world's weight off my shoulders. I studied his face for any signals of shock but there were none. Instead a tight and somehow sad smiled graced his lips.
"The threat King Edmund saw is real. But unlike what you are more probably thinking it's not from another country. Narnia has been in relative peace for ten years but there are still some creatures that think the white witch should still be ruling. Years ago, King Edmund pardoned a number of the witch's followers for they didn't believe in her. Or so he thought. The creatures became part of the society, a lot of them joining the army. A battalion of black dwarves and minotaur especially gained fame and trust from all around for their service to the throne. They became some of the Kings and Queens most trusted allies. A couple of months ago, King Edmund realized that it was façade, they were planning a complot to kill the siblings. King Peter didn't want to believe it. It cased quite a rift between them.
"So yes, the threat is real, but it won't get to you. King Edmunds troops, those he knows he can trust more than anyone else went to Wester Woods to stop the battalion of coming back to the castle. They won't get here." He explained. I was amazed at how much he knew of the situation but most of ll I was astonished he would trust me with such delicate information face to face. It made sense. None of the kingdoms looked suspicious because none of them were planning an attack. The ally that was mentioned was a part of their army, turned against them. And the missing troops were a measure a monarch had taken to avoid further damage done to the capital. All the pieces fell into place. This was, after all, the problem of ruling with more than one sovereign: they could disagree and create the confusion I had seen this morning.
"Thank you for telling me. I know this information must be extremely classified." I said, meaning every word.
"You already knew most of it and if you asked the right questions to some people at the court you would've been able to discover the rest." He was trying to lessen the impact of what he'd done. He wasn't comfortable with realizing the trust he'd put in me, in this strange bond we shared. Not yet. But I swore I would make him be comfortable with it.
Whatever it was. Whatever it could become.