Hey guys

I'm so sorry I didn't post this before but college is a lot of work and to be honest I was a bit lazy. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

When I saw King Peter walking with his advisors through the halls next morning I tried not to shrink. No matter the conversation with Blade I still felt like dust on his shoes. I didn't know if I would ever truly stop but I'd be damned if I let it show. This man wanted to fight with appearances and a fight he would get. I refused to show my weakness.

Rita was next to me and saw how stiff I became. She seemed worried but I didn't try to calm her. I didn't want to lose my focus, or I would break even if the monarch paid no mind to me. He was engrossed in what people around him were telling him: listening, trusting them when he didn't listen to his own brother. My blood boiled at that thought. I didn't know King Edmund, but I was never one to stand injustice. Not that I could change anything. When he finally walked past us, I didn't bow, too busy clenching my jaw to stop myself from lashing out. The men didn't even look our way. Good. I didn't want to get into any more trouble.

"Care to explain yourself?'" murmured my friend pulling me to the side. It took me a moment to focus back on her instead of my musing.

"I beg your pardon?" I knew it was rude to answer with another question, but I couldn't grasp the meaning of her words.

"The High King walked right next to us and all you did was glare at him! I get you are hurt he decided to reject you but he's still our superior and host. The least we can do is show him proper respect." Of course what she said was true and a couple of days before I wouldn't have dare do what I just did but Blade's voice sounded in the back of my mind. 'He isn't superior to you. He can only make you feel this way because you are allowing it.' 'I don't care about your family or your name. Those are just accessories.' I let Blade words wash over me, wishing one could change enough in one day to adopt a new way of thinking. They mixed with my irritation towards the High King's hypocrisy and gave me a bravery I could only find when I lost my temper.

"If he wants me to bow, he'll have to earn it." I declared, feeling power rush through me. I was done letting titles decide for me. If Blade could be a noble, why couldn't I stand in a King's presence?

"He's a King. You are just a lesser Lady Ariana, snap out of it." Her berating me like a little child bothered me greatly. Was it really possible just a few days ago I thought the same way?

"I am no less than he is. His title is merely an accessory." As the words left my mouth, my conviction evident, I could almost see Blade smirking with approval at me. It gave me strength to continue. "I respect his rule but as a person he has proved to be rather petty. This isn't over the affections we seemed to share. His behavior has earned him my disrespect and that shan't change soon."

My friend was looking at me like I had gone mad. Perhaps I had, but this land and its sovereigns had shown me that normality didn't apply here. It was time to take advantage of it. To see the beauty on the other side of this danger. "You will get thrown in the dungeons." My friend warned, but I wasn't scared: if Blade could do it, why couldn't I? Being imprisoned was daunting no doubt but it felt like such a distant possibility it matter little to me.

I shrugged causing a gasp to escape my friend's lips. I was being as unladylike as could be and yet I didn't care. She could keep her manners, I had something better: the freedom Blade had shown me. Liberty of being who I was, of existing beyond a place in the court, of being human and laugh. Refusing to give that up I continued walking, keeping my head held high and my chin slightly up turned. Proud, unafraid.

Never bow your head.

I didn't plan to.

It was liberating to think this way even if I could be fairly certain it wouldn't last long. I feared for consequences very much and this moment of power I allowed myself would dissipate leaving me in a panic. So I enjoyed it until I couldn't because in the corner of my eye, I caught a white tail wrapping around a pillar. It was familiar, associated with sharp fangs and possessive behavior on her friend. Myra was here but in broad daylight, close to the central gardens. I frowned: if she always followed Blade that meant he was here, too close to King Peter for comfort. He was, after all, still infiltrating the palace.

I couldn't know if she had intended for me to see her. Perhaps it was a message as I knew she could hide perfectly well and wouldn't take risks like this. Nevertheless if it turned out I was in the wrong it was more likely someone would find them if I followed her. Still, I kept a keen eye in my surroundings, ready to feign fainting at the first mishap for them. My mind began to work overtime. Had something terrible happened? Did the creatures beat King Edmund's troops and were coming to the castle? did Blade or the King get injured? Had someone discovered the escapades?

I forced myself to breath through the anxiety and reminded myself most of this was in my mind. I tried to separate facts from the drama I had created. Myra was in the castle in the daylight. This could be a sign of trouble or another infiltration. She was in a concurred zone of the building. If I showed my unease, I could alert someone of her presence.

And so began the agonizing walk in which I tried to act confident and furious when I felt queasy. I knew my bravado would leave me soon, but I had hoped for a little more time. Especially now that my spirit was swirling with negatives outcomes I tried to silence. Rita hadn't followed me which I was glad for, I didn't think I'd be able to hide my emotions to someone that knew me. Less than one minute later I saw Myra's tail rounding the same corner. The action was repeated two more times before I was sure it was meant to be a signal to follow.

Walking casually proved to be a challenge but since no guards followed me, I thought I did a descent job. I followed the white fur through two whole gardens until I slipped through a small opening between two trees. Suddenly, I was in what could only be described as a hidden garden. An abandoned statue was covered in green fungus and missing an arm, the grass was overgrown, and the vines were too overgrown to stay upright. As I entered further, I heard a growl followed by the she-wolf's voice "What do you think you are doing?". Myra's demanding voice made me cower slightly. Her canine were gleaming, and daylight was doing little to make her seem kinder. It seemed as if, around her, it would always be winter. Yet that mattered little. I wasn't fearing for my friend's safety partly because this imposing being was with him. And yet here she was, far away from him, or at least I hoped. I looked around me to spot the young man but had to eventually accept he wasn't there.

"I thought you were with Blade." I said, instead of answering, wishing she hadn't come with news of an injury or something of the sort. I couldn't stand the idea of the young noble in any kind of pain. It was simply overwhelming and made me feel light-headed. No, no, no. He had to be okay. Danger brought beauty. The wolf's eye just narrowed at my no answer. There didn't seem to be any fear in her eyes, just condescending.

"Would you stop panicking?" she growled angrily, taking a small step towards me, causing a more instinctual fear to take over me. She seemed to have noticed my reaction as she begrudgingly swallowed her rage and decided to take another approach. "I was, but he asked me to come make sure King Peter didn't hurt you in any way over your little disagreement, only to come and find you disrespecting him in a way that could get you thrown into the dungeons." What had started as a concession had turned into a horrible accusation that made my cheeks burn in embarrassment. I knew what I had done had been wrong, Rita had even told me the same thing earlier, but it held more weight coming from the creature that had already threatened my life directly. And yet my mind didn't focus on this. Blade had sent her to keep me safe. He worried for me and tried to protect me.

"He sent you to care for me?" I asked as a part of me joined the clouds high in the sky and a huge grin overtook me, making it very clear fear was once again washing out of my system. Not that my companion seemed to take that as a good sign. She actually looked quite angry.

"Yes! And now I have to report that his friend is being a moron and putting herself at risk. I swear you are more trouble than you are worth." The harsh words brought me back and made me sweet drop. She was right. I was being reckless and irresponsible and had to come back to reality. But a part of me didn't want to. I liked the brave and slightly harsh part of me that could behave that way. It made me feel powerful, but it had been taught out of me from such a young age it was hard to connect with it. It was my small fantasy of strength and freedom which had no place in reality. I swallowed my childish instincts and tried to accept things as they were.

"I'm sorry. I just taught… well Blade told me that I shouldn't let him make me feel inferior…" I tried to explain like a small kid would do when caught by their parents.

"There is a difference between standing up for yourself and being an idiot. Guess where do you fall? You have to know when to comply and when to fight. Otherwise you'll get killed."

"He…" I started to retort only to be, once again, interrupted.

"He isn't you. He knows were limits are and when he crosses them, he always has a plan to get out of trouble. He seems a lot more reckless than he actually is. He is very calculating. You are just a little kid trying to imitate a man you can never compare to." Her words rang true. I was trying to be more like him. He truly had inspired me since I met him but being like him seemed impossible. I just didn't have the strength or confidence to act the way he did.

"I'm sorry." I admitted feeling as stupid as I ever had. She was right, everyone but me was. Playing to be stronger than I was, was only going to get me killed,

"I'll make sure to remind people of that when you are in prison." Her snark made me bow my head even lower even with Blade's voice berating me in my head. I was weak and so very small, wishing I could think like someone I couldn't compare to. Silence stretched. I didn't know what to say. Should I apologize again? Ask for advice to not end up in the dungeons as she thought I would? It was hard to do any of those things with someone who made her disdain so clear. I felt even smaller with her than with King Peter.

It was her that finally broke the quiet with a growl that resembled vaguely an exasperated sigh. Showing her canines in the dim light she turned her head in a motion similar to pacing. "You are lucky King Peter pretended not to see you. He doesn't want to start any trouble but that doesn't mean he won't take revenge." I didn't feel lucky, I was terrified. Narnia could destroy my entire kingdom because of my offense or decide to take it out on me and torture me until I died.

"What can I do?" I finally asked, fear washing away my pride. I didn't want to make others suffer or be hurt myself. I needed guidance more than I needed anything else. It seemed I would forever remain a silly little girl.

"You can apologize. Beg him for forgiveness. Get him to flirt with you again. I don't care. Just fix this before Blade finds out about this. Last thing he needs is needing to come here to fix your mess."

"He won't come to fix it. He would just give me some advice or…"

"He would come. You managed to make him care about you. And as cold as he may seem, once he starts to care he does everything to help that person. Even if it means his own death." She looked regretful at this, almost guilty. Had she ever put Blade in danger simply because he cared about her? Was that the reason she was so subservient to him? "Look, I get that you're in love with him or something and you think it is cute that he's gonna be your knight in shinny armor or whatever, but he can't come back here yet. He told you why he left. You think you are more important than that? Well you're not and you should be the only one paying for your mistakes. Not the entire kingdom."

"I know I'm not that important! I know and I am sorry if I am somehow putting what he worked for at risk! I'm trying to do what he taught me because I admire him, not because I love him." My inferiority complex, guilt and fear all came out with half yells and unstoppable tears. I was humiliated and worse: I was the cause of other's pain. I, most definitely, wasn't nearly relevant enough to be taken into consideration. The little voice in my head berated me 'You are no one'. It had been reminding me of that since I came to Narnia. I was so stupid for forgetting. It was just so simple to do so when I was with Blade or thinking about the little shine in his eyes when he laughed. He made me feel special and that was much more dangerous that I cared to admit.

"Would you stop crying already?" her growl, her aggressiveness when I was grieving was a stark contrast with Blade's kind reaction when he heard that I had a fight with my father. It seemed they weren't as similar as I had thought. I wanted to stop, to lessen the humiliation, but I couldn't. I just wanted someone to help me instead of criticizing me, seeing me as an equal and not a dumb little girl. I wanted Blade. But I also didn't want to give Myra this power over me. She didn't deserve this control over my emotions. Then why couldn't I stop? Covering my face I tried to give myself a moment of respite and recompose myself away from her judging stare. Breath in. Hold. Breath out. Shaking myself I tried to stand proud, but the attempt was rather poor.

Looking at her was as hard as ever. She was imposing and threatening and the living reminder of why I hid behind a title. Most wouldn't dare talk to a Lady this way, the consequences could be harsh. Yet, this wolf didn't seem to care for that, just like the man she served. I was close to sobbing again but forced it down. Tears still streamed down my face, but I would ignore them. Weakness couldn't be afforded with such a ruthless character looking at you.

"Don't worry. I'll fix this. You can tell Blade he needn't worry." I stated with my best noble voice. Intimidating had always been hard for me, but I had been taught from a young age how to appear like the world and the persons in it had no effect over me. Tears could be ignored if one stood tall enough and looked down a certain way and hating myself for doing this wasn't going to stop me this time.

"Good." She looked as condescending as I made myself appear. I hated her for being so strong and cold. She was, on top of it all, a rude and harsh being that enjoyed bringing others down. I nodded back at her and decided it was time to retreat. Turning swiftly, my skirts whooshed as I took my leave, salted water still running down my cheeks.

The moment I felt safe from her stare the tears stopped completely. Were they truly self-pity tears or were they from fear? Which was more humiliating?

It didn't matter, anyway. I had bigger problems such as fixing my mistake with King Peter. Problem was I had no idea how to do so and I would clearly get no help from those I had relied on so far. At least not in time. I needed to fix this before tonight. I wouldn't be able to lie to Blade. But how?

Suddenly yesterday's conversation came back to me. Not the one with Blade, the one I had with Queen Lucy. She had made it clear that I could consider her a friend, and this was her brother after all. Surely, she could help. If not, things wouldn't get much worse. I started walking towards her parlor only to realize I didn't know where she'd be. Maybe she was working or maybe she was entertaining other guests. She could be anywhere, and I couldn't go up to anyone and ask for an audience with the Queen. Deciding the room with the old couches was my best option I went that way.

When I got there a faun was leaving the room with Queen Lucy. I thanked Aslan for my luck, now it was a matter of whether or not she would grant me an audience. She seemed engrossed in her conversation and nervousness returned to me. could I interrupt her? I was about to turn and leave when the Queen raised her eyes and smiled at me. "Lady Maucin, it's great to see you! Were you looking for me?" She said, joyous, luminous, everything I needed.

"I… Yes, but I can come back later if you wish. I wouldn't want to interrupt." I stammered as more tears gathered in my eyes. I wanted someone to hold me, why was I so alone?

"Oh, nonsense. I was just having a friendly talk with Mister Tumnus." Her words were said as she looked at the Narnian. I remembered that she had mentioned Mister Tumnus yesterday, it was who she had helped fix the garden. He seemed nice with kind, doe eyes and a smile that told you, you would be safe. When the monarch turned to look at me again and realized my tears she froze. "Are you alright?" she asked, no pity or disdain, pure empathy. I broke down.

Was I alright? No. I was terrified. I was putting an entire kingdom at risk, insulting a monarch which could result in both my death and the conquest of my kingdom, the man I was infatuated with would probably be hurt because of my stupid behavior and all that damn wolf could do was treat me like an idiot. I was causing pain and felt like the stupidest little girl in the planet. I knew I was alone, playing a game of pretend that I wouldn't change, for it let me be close to Blade. Being in the wrong place in the wrong time had made friendship and romance turn into a nightmare as I was targeted by a rage that seemed rather silly to me. I just wanted to feel like I had a friend, an ally.

My pain grew inside of me, breaking every wall I thought I had built in my conversation with Myra. I was ready to bolt to save myself some embarrassment when I felt warmth around me. I opened the eyes I hadn't realized I had closed and saw the Queen holding me close to her, not saying a word but humming a southing melody. I melted against her body and let my heart pour. She was a safe place. How to be sure? There was no way, but I could feel it. I don't know how long we stayed that way but when I finally untangled myself from her, she was smiling at me. No condescending, just empathy. I was glad she had offered her friendship she truly was as luminous as the rumors said.

"Come with me." The Queen said, leading me back into her parlor with a kind smile and an arm resting lightly on my back, I nodded, dizzy from crying so much. I had numbed myself by now, unable to feel anything around me. She led me to one of the couches and sat next to me holding my hand lightly. If I had more tears to cry, I probably would have. I craved this kindness beyond what I could comprehend. We sat there for second until Mister Tumnus returned with tea and cookies. When had he left?

"Should I leave?" he asked the kind young woman seating next to me. She seemed to think about and looked at me as if for confirmation. I didn't know what to say. "I think so. I'm sorry Mister Tumnus." She said but the faun shushed her apologies and left. Queen Lucy waited a little longer before she spoke again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I didn't, not really, it would mean admittance to so many things I swore to keep a secret, but I needed her help desperately. I didn't truly have a choice.

"Is it about him?" the way she emphasized the word made it clear she meant Blade. Did it have to do with him? Not really. It had to do with how stupid I had become since I met him. My breath hitched in the worst of ways, but I forced myself to stay calm. I shook my head slightly and looked for the way to say what I needed. Was it wrong that I had only looked for someone this kind because I needed her? It felt that way. I was a hypocrite, but I couldn't back out of this. I just hoped she would find it in herself to forgive me. I was surprised by how patient she showed herself to be, not talking or pushing me in the slightest.

"I'm sorry… I need your advice." I mumbled and expected disappointment to flash in her eyes. She must have had so many friendships that only wanted things from her. I found none, pure kindness still radiating from her. "I have insulted your brother and I don't know how to make it up to him." I explained, feeling ashamed.

"Which brother?" she asked with a slight frown. That send me spiraling. I had never met King Edmund and talking with Blade made it clear he hadn't been in the castle for a while. How could I have offended a man I had never been near of? What didn't I know? Was King Edmund actually in the castle but in disguise? Did she expect me to know that?

I shook my head. Now wasn't the time for conspiracy theories and I was in enough trouble because of them. I didn't want to know any more. In truth, I wanted to forget. I needed to fix this and go back to being invisible. That is all that mattered. "King Peter. I haven't had the honor of meeting King Edmund" I answered and for a second I thought I imagined an amused yet sad smile on her face.

"Of course, I'm sorry, force of habit. Ed is usually easier to offend." She answered and I almost believed her. Forcing myself to not overanalyze this was hell, but I knew it would be the only way to find peace. "What happened with Peter?"

What had happened? I hadn't bowed when he passed by me, but I knew that was only the tip of the iceberg. His true anger came from being discovered when keeping secrets. Could I tell Queen Lucy about it? I knew woman were usually kept aside from the political circle, so it was possible she didn't know, and I would anger King Peter even more by revealing this? I felt like I was lost in a maze.

"You can trust me Ariana. Whatever it is you're hiding I won't tell anyone, just like with your mystery men. I promise I won't react any different with Peter based on what you told me here. Please, trust me." Her voice was so genuine and her plea for trust so heartbreaking that the last of my walls crumbled. I could trust her, every instinct in me knew it from the start.

"I overheard a conversation between your brother and one of his generals by accident. He was offended by my eavesdropping and we fought. That made me do one of the stupidest things I have ever done and glare at him instead of bowing at his passage." I explained, trying to keep the principal problem a little vague. Sure, she must know her brother had left but did she know why?

The Queen's eyes softened, and a smile showed itself. She seemed much less worried than I was but then again, she could probably fix this while I was stuck hoping for a miracle. Overall, however, she seemed happy I had trusted her and told her the truth. I wondered how much was hidden from her, how often she was lied to. I felt sorry she went through that and made a promise: I wouldn't do that to her. I would be honest; it was the least I could do with all her support.

"It's okay. I'll talk to him. This truly isn't your fault and if I know Peter at all he is more frustrated with himself you overheard something he is trying to hide." I breathed in relief. She would intercede for me. Surely with how close the siblings were, she could calm her brother. Suddenly I thought of King Edmund, was he truly close with them or was he the black sheep to not be trusted that way? "Why are you so angry?" asked my companion suddenly, causing me to startle. Had my emotions been showing? I truly needed to work on this. "Was what you heard so bad you can't even think of him without grimacing?" a slight teasing tone was entering her voice, but I knew she was serious. She was merely trying to lighten the ambience. I appreciated it greatly.

"I'm sorry. I just can't help but think of you brother as a bit of a two-faced person after hearing he couldn't trust his own brother." As the words left my mouth my hand went directly to cover it, as if to erase what I had just said. Queen Lucy had an energy so similar to Blade's I had let myself run my tongue without thinking. I knew, instantly her help would be removed. To my surprise I wasn't yelled at or asked to leave immediately. I dared to look in the Queen's direction and found a sad smile on her face.

"You heard about Ed, didn't you?" She knew. That had to lessen my crime. I hadn't told her anything new. Maybe the punishment would be lesser now. Or maybe bigger for disobeying a direct order. "I know that, sometimes, when it comes to him, Pete can seem like he doesn't make sense but it's because their relationship is very complicated. Peter really loves Ed with all his heart and soul, but they are so different it is hard for them to get along."

"Hard enough for him to not trust his brother but trust his advisors?" I blurted, empowered by the fact she hadn't yet punished me. Please let this danger be worth it.

"Sometimes. It's not that they don't trust each other, it's that whereas Peter wants to trust people, Ed is always more likely to look for their shadows and attack them because of it. They are opposite and that's great because they complement each other. When they can actually reach a compromise, that is. Peter is afraid of admitting a mistake so what Edmund is telling him terrifies him. It would mean he was wrong in so many things. That is one of the things he has never been good at accepting. I'm not saying he is wrong, if I'm being honest it's hard to believe that such great friends would betray us, especially without proof." She explained and it made sense. When you are treated a way for a long time you become that thing. King Peter had been treated like he had done no wrong for ten years now, it was evident to him whatever he said had to be reality. It made sense. In the conversation the oldest brother had with the centaur he had made it clear that he wouldn't accept there was any blame on him. It was easier for him to throw that weight on his brother's shoulders. When Blade had mentioned King Edmund's side of the story, he hadn't mentioned anger or resentment. Just that they couldn't agree, and each had taken the actions they thought were better.

Maybe King Peter wasn't so bad, but he certainly wasn't as perfect as I thought the first day.

"I'm sorry for insulting your brother." I told The Valiant, but she was already shaking her head. The understanding hadn't left her for a second and I wondered how big a heart could really be.

"It's okay. It's easy to judge a person when you have only seen them at their worse. You have only met a grief-stricken Peter. He hates himself for making Ed leave. He is frustrated he can't protect him where he is, and he doesn't deal so well with people questioning his authority." Her hand was back on mine, a calming gesture yet, as she looked into my eyes, I knew she was seeing everything except me. Her eyes and focus were on her family. "I can understand why you would think that way although I have to say, you are one of the first people that has taken Ed's side in one of their fights."

Her answer took me aback for a second. Especially the last sentence. When had I taken a side? It was clear I had, after all my blood was boiling on behalf of a men I had never met. What had made me decide he was right? Was it that he had taken his troops to protect his kingdom? No, it couldn't be because he had also left the palace with a bad security, endangering his family. He has given no proof of what he said and, even so, I was absolutely sure he wasn't lying. When had this men earned my trust and loyalty?

"I don't know why…" I admitted because everything pointed to a tie between the brothers.

"I do. And you do too. You just aren't ready to see it yet. As soon as you are, realization will come to you." Just when I thought I had started to understand her she confused me once again, leaving me in a new maze. To my surprise she stood up, brushing her skirts casually. "I'll go talk to Peter. I'll let you know what happens." I breathed in relief even if I wished I could keep talking to her. "You can stay here if you'd like. If you want to know more about Ed, all the books on that wall are his." She said pointing to the far wall. I frowned, when had my curiosity for her brother shown? But I had been to the zone around his chambers, it was huge. Why would his books be here?

"Thank you. May I ask, why are his books here? doesn't he have his own library?" I questioned, emboldened by the knowledge she wasn't afraid of me speaking freely. She proved this once again, chuckling at my comment.

"He does and it's probably the second biggest in the entire castle. He doesn't seem to be, but he truly is a bookworm, almost as much as Susan. This books are here because he spends half of his free time here and he was always leaving a book, or another forgotten in the table. At some point I grew tired of having a stack of his books in the corner and brought those shelfs. He says he likes being here because it reminds him of home, of where we come from. He seems to remember more than me." She explained, pausing on her way to the door to contemplate the row of leather-clad volumes.

"You have forgotten where you are from?" my surprise was evident. How could one forget something so important?

"Not completely but it gets harder to remember. I don't know how Ed can still say so much about that place. I had this parlor made on our first year here and now I can barely remember why I did that. I just know it feels right." I nodded, feeling a twinge of sadness she went through that. It must be hard to forget your country, you family. I couldn't imagine the guilt that came with it.

I waited some minutes after she left the room to stand up and walk towards the dusty pages the younger King had left behind. They were all so beautiful, rich and taken care of. They were all different except for what seemed like a collection on the lowest part of the shelfs. These books seemed more worn out as well. It was this peculiarity that drew me to them. As I grabbed one in the middle and opened it, I realized they weren't books but notebooks. Perhaps were they diaries? I looked for a date in the pages but there was none, yet names and places seemed to repeat themselves over and over. It wasn't an observation notebook either. Curious I took the first one in the shelf, hoping an explanation was written in it. The first page had me close to breaking down.

Mom's name is Helen.

Dad is Jacob.

I was born in 1930 in London, England. My full name is Edmund Brian Pevensie.

We came to Narnia in 1940 after we were evacuated from London. We were running from a war Dad was sent to fight.

I can't stop forgetting.

These weren't diaries, they were the memories of a child. Queen Lucy said she kept forgetting where she came from, but her brother still remembered. Except he didn't. He had written what he could and probably memorized it out of desperation.

A warm feeling overtook my chest, the so-called Dark King truly had a warmer side to him. All rumors pointed to him being the most estranged from his family yet only that page told me that he loved his family to death. Even if I couldn't understand why he would let the world see him this way I could start to see the mask he wore all the time. Perhaps he was protecting himself the same way Blade was.

I knew this notebooks were extremely personal, and I had no right to read them, but I found myself reading through small, random passages of them.

I don't think I had many friends in England. Everytime I try to remember anyone outside my family all I can seem to recall are punches and kicks to my ribs. I think I used to get into a lot of fights, but I can't remember why. Probably people got sick of me for acting the way I did before Narnia. I wouldn't be surprised.

I can remember that I went to school away from home. Peter was there too but pretended he didn't know me. I think it made him look better. It still does but with an entire kingdom knowing who we are he doesn't have much of a choice.

King Edmund being beat down. What a strange thought. He was known to be one of the best swordsman's in the country and even King Peter had admitted his brother could defeat him. A man who was always described as intimidating being so vulnerable was unthinkable, yet the proof was in my hands.

I remembered the school's library today. It was so small compared to what we have here in Cair Paravel. Even so, it's hard to think of a safer place back in Finchley. It was the best place to not be found by Arthur and his friends. Idiots probably didn't even know there was a library.

There was a shelf in the back of the room, hidden in the dustiest corner. I used to like going there. The books there never told anyone how much I cried while reading of magical lands and creatures that are now here with me every day.

I was so surprised by this pages. Everyone feared the Just King and his moods but, in this pages, you could see little aggressions. It was more about desperation and loneliness. Fear of being seen. And yet a slightly cocky individual could be seen, mocking those that could never hurt him again. How much pain had this man lived through?

I kept flipping through the volumes, finding a stray page in an oddly thin paper that portrayed a man in only black and white colors. The portrait was a little damaged with small cuts all over it's surface yet the man in it could still be clearly seen. He looked to be in his late thirties and had similar faction to King Peter and Queens Lucy and Susan. He was smiling a little, but the painter hadn't been able to hide the slight awkwardness in his face. In the back of the page was a clear explanation of why they looked so similar.

Jacob Pevensie, 1938.

This was their father. I turned to look at the drawing once again, amazed by the weird texture it had, so unlike anything I ever held before. The man looked to be quite handsome and I found myself inspecting his features closely. King Peter had his brow, Queen Lucy had inherited jaw, Queen Susan spotted his nose and Blade had his eyes. He looked remarkably like my mystery man (as Queen Lucy had called him) even if that made little sense.

Much too soon, as I was still looking into those foreign features, I heard footsteps outside the door. Scrambling to get the memoires back to their place and the picture hidden once again I almost tripped. I was, on top of it all, sitting on the floor in a Queen's private room. I couldn't let said monarch see me this way. Thankfully when the door opened, I had managed to stand back up and pile all the books in the lower shelf.

I smiled to the younger royal and felt my eyes almost popping out when her brother came after her. Decided to not commit the same mistake twice I bowed as my heart tried to escape my chest. I hoped his sister had helped him calm down and he wasn't here to arrest me or anything of the sort.

"You can stand up, Lady Maucin." Said the High King. I did as he asked to notice him and his sister having a silent conversation that ended up with the eldest letting a defeated sigh out. "Lady Maucin, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression, I wished any harm to fall upon you or your country. I hope no ill shall happen to you." I smiled at him coyly and tried to keep my chuckles at bay. It was crystal clear he didn't want to be there, even less did he wish to speak those words, but his little sister was forcing him to.

I was thinking of a way to respond, what exactly I should apologize for, and what was better left unspoken when the young women in front of him elbowed her brother not so subtly on the ribs. The latter seemed surprised and a little offended as he was met with a pointed look. I could hear the siblings whisper to each other. "Do it." Said the Queen. "I'm not going to do it." Responded the king and so came back and forth for a minute. As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop am amused huff to escape me. Both siblings turned to me first with confusion and then with humor of their own. After a second of this I forced myself to be serious again.

"Your Majesty, I'm very sorry I disrespected you this morning and if I seem to try and get involved in matters that do not concern me. that was certainly not my intention." I said, killing any joy in the room. The Magnificent accepted my apology with a nod only for his midsection to be once again attacked by his sister. This was repeated three more times until the Queen gave up and took matters into her own hands.

"He knows it's not your fault you were there and is sorry he treated you poorly." She amended bringing a smile to my face even as her brother grumbled his acceptance.

"Peace?" proposed King Peter looking at me. I knew then that things would never be what they had been. I knew why I had been attracted to him but couldn't find in any part of myself the will to get that feeling back. I knew too that he was probably a good men if given the chance.

"Peace."

Just in case it wasn't clear the portrait Ariana finds is the picture of Mr. Pevensie Edmunds runs back to get at the begining of the movie.

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