That night, as I left the ball, I felt oddly nervous and lethargic. Had Myra told Blade about what I had done? Would he be upset that I had not only put myself in danger, but also, that I had bowed my head? I truly hoped he wouldn't. But, most of all, I hoped he didn't know and had made any move to help me. Last thing he needed was to have to worry about me when he was in a battlefield. Or for him to feel like he had to come to the castle to save me. I didn't want him in any kind of danger.

I was so caught up in my worries that I didn't even realize I had made it to the balcony until I bumped into Blade lightly. Confused I looked up and if the day hadn't been so long, I would have yelped and blushed. As it was, I only apologized and took a step back. Being tired didn't stop me from worrying but it did stop me from showing it. I just didn't have the energy for over-reacting, my head pounded from the many tears shed during the day and I just wanted to go to bed. Seeing Blade was the only thing that kept me awake and in a good mood.

Coming back from my thoughts took me longer than usual and when I did Blade was looking at me worriedly but keeping that sly smirk in his face. "What's wrong? You look dead." Usually I would have laughed at his teasing, but I was exhausted.

"Thanks, just what I wanted to hear" I saw his expression change immediately and felt horrible. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, to lessen the dark cloud over my head and I had snapped. Days of looking into his features, trying to find the emotions they hid so well helped me see how he looked a bit like a child who has been told of by his parents. The thought made him adorable and I smiled tiredly. Perhaps it would have been better if I had just gone to bed. "Sorry I've had a very long day. You didn't deserve that." I said, happy to notice his face go back to its previous openness.

"Yeah, Myra told me. I'm sorry she was so rough, but I'm glad you fixed things with Peter and that you are becoming close with Lucy." His apology on his friend's behalf broke me again. I didn't need him to be nice, I needed the damn wolf to stop looking for ways to hurt me. She had followed me all day but offered no help. She mocked my emotions, threatened me, ridiculed me and had the nerve to report it but not apologize. Instead, she sent her friend to do her dirty work. That was if she even wanted this to be done. She was probably gloating on my tears, happy to see me being miserable. It was all she had looked for after all.

"I don't need your apology, I need hers." I demanded harshly, turning my head to the side. His eyes darkened in sign of protectiveness over his friend I hadn't seen before. He had always defended me before. It was clear that he cared deeply for the white wolf, he'd always been keen on keeping her opinion in mind. He clearly respected and cared for her but his knowledge of her harshness stopped him from acting on her behalf.

"Look, she can be harsh but it's only because she is trying to protect me. That means that whatever she does is partly my responsibility. She did what she had to do." to some extent I could see what he meant and admit that he was right, but I was too hurt to be rational. His actions weren't hers. And how did mistreating his friends translate into 'protecting him', anyways? She was just rude and jealous and thought he belonged to her. He had shown he didn't. and that was justification enough for my feelings in my tired state.

I wanted him to be on my side like he'd been so far.

Any other day my cheeks would be in fire from acting in such a stupid way yet, that night they weren't. I knew I was being childish but cared little. I hated how, somehow after a long day of being mature you just found yourself being so juvenile like what you showed all day was nothing but a mask.

"How can you say that? She has been so rude by her own choice. You have told her to stop." I complained, feeling as justified as a toddler. Sadly, as often when I was tired, my emotions were getting the better of me and running faster than my head. It was true, he had asked her to stop. All the warning glances in her direction played in my mind and a small part of me hoped he would remember them and change his mind. He surely would act like he had when she growled at me. this made as much sense as that after all.

"She's doing the best for me. Honestly, you are just exhausted and overreacting because of it." He countered. Him being right unnerved me even more. He had no right to understand much less to be so composed when I felt horrible for trying to do right by him. He must have noticed how I turned my head further away with a huff because he sighed heavily. "Look Ariana, maybe it's better that you go get some rest and we can meet again tomorrow." He offered and I scoffed. He honestly thought I hadn't considered that myself? I had but decided that spending time with him was worth staying up. How silly to think he would fee the same way. I didn't care he was being perfectly nice and showing nothing but concern in his gorgeous brown eyes.

"I'm not leaving without the apology she owes me!" I claimed, crossing my arm over my chest in a pouting motion. He just stared at me as if he was waiting for me to tell him I was joking or to cave. Finally exasperated with my stubbornness he massaged the bridge of his nose with a hand as the other rested across his chest.

"Look Ariana, Myra isn't even here tonight. She stayed at camp to fix some business for me so I could come see you." My head skipped over the second part of his sentence and concentrated only on the fact that she wasn't here like a coward. She was running away from the last show of decency I would allow her. "I know you're upset and that you don't understand why she was so rough on you. I get that but could you try and see a little further than that. Look at this from her perspective: the man you swore to protect is ignoring half of what he has to do to help his country every night to come with a girl he knows little about, risking the secret that is keeping a semblance of peace in this place. And that same girl is putting herself at risk, meaning that she could be imprisoned or scared into revealing what that man is hiding. She's terrified you'll lose your protection on the side of Peter and Lucy because that is the only thing that makes her feel somehow safe in this situation. She isn't going to apologize, specially if the way she acted made you fix the situation." He explained and for the first time he initiated physical contact, putting his hand in my arm.

Looking into his eyes I could see how this was true. I was a danger and only kept getting myself into more and more trouble and dragging everyone with me. My lower, pushed in a pout, started to tremble and tears burst once again. I just wanted things to stop, to not put anyone in danger so that Myra would stop hurting me. Because she could hurt me because she was right. I was a giant threat just seemingly waiting to destroy a months-long plan.

My heart warmed when Blade didn't hesitate to pull me to his chest, protecting my sobbing body from the rest of the world. He wasn't running away from physical contact; he wasn't afraid of being judged by me anymore. I let myself be brought into the hug and let his smell wash over me, convincing me I couldn't be hurt while he was with me and as tears kept dampening my face and his tunic something fell into place.

We stayed this way for a long time as the day's stress finally left my body. I was even more tired than before, but my emotions had finally settled. I murmured my apology for my behavior, but he just shushed me and put his cheek against the top of my head in a comforting manner. He was so much taller than me and somehow that was just a reason to feel safer to me. When my eyes finally ran out of salty water, I balled my hands into his shirt, preventing him from moving away and he didn't even try to stop any of it. The progress didn't go unnoticed and a smiled a little more even if it was probably a watery grimace more than anything else.

"You should probably get some sleep. You are going to have one hell of a migraine tomorrow otherwise." He said but didn't move, keeping his chin rested on my head and his arms around me.

"I don't care." I said. And it was true. I knew it was probable that my emotions would get out of control again, but I just didn't want to leave this perfect bubble. I didn't want to have to face an entire day before I could see him again. I hadn't been here long enough; I never could be. It was probably the tiredness, the vulnerability I had already shown that pushed me to admit what came next. "I don't want to wake up without you there." I expected him to push away harshly, to stiffen at the very least but he did neither. Instead one of his hands came to my face and with a gently folded finger under my chin he lifted it until we made eye contact.

For the first time I looked into his eyes without any fear of being caught in the act, of driving him away with my feelings. What I discovered left my breathless. His entire life history was written in those brown irises that seemed to still hold a child's innocence. I could read his hardened personality, the years of pain and loneliness that had forged who he'd become, the enormous regret but most of all I saw the fear of being hated or loved. Because love was a weapon, one that came like a summer breeze and left behind nothing but devastation. He was afraid of the power over himself he gave those he cared about. At that moment I could almost call his eyes a wordless novel.

I don't know what he saw in my eyes but whatever it was, he liked it for he smiled and leaned closer until his lips brushed over mine. Emilia, a friend who was already married had told me, in the beginning she didn't know what to do when she was kissed, how to respond, where to put her hands. I found none of those problems. Kissing seemed natural, a simple expression of how much I cared for Blade. I found myself instinctively sucking lightly on his upper lips where it was trapped between my lips.

I felt such tenderness coming from him I almost didn't notice how his movements, his lax arms, and bent legs were asking a question, permission to continue. I took a small step closer to him, pushing my entire upper body into his as an answer and he seemed satisfied as he tightened his embrace around me.

When we finally broke away his eyes were gleaming slightly.

"Thank you." He said, mouth against my forehead.

"For what?" I asked as a chuckle shook my body and went all the way into his. I could feel his lips forming a smile as he responded with one of his own. It took him only a second to become serious again and take a deep breath that tickled my scalp. I loved this closeness more than anything I had felt before.

"For trusting me." I did him the favor of ignoring how his voice broke a bit. I was feeling merciful and all questions could wait. They just weren't important now. All that mattered was this man, this angel that was sent to this balcony to give me something I had only ever read about. And as such I took a small step backwards and put my hand in his cheek with all the tenderness I felt.

"I always will." I reassured him and was rewarded by the smallest of tears and a slight pressure in my hand as he leaned into it.

"You shouldn't." His warning would have been more effective had he not been using my hand to cradle his head in such a sweet way.

Lost in the moment, adoring everything about him, from the adoration in his eyes to the little boy that shone through them I didn0t need to gather any courage. "How could I not trust the man I love." I declared.

I realized, when he didn't answer immediately that this was the greatest risk I had ever taken. This far I had forced myself to call this only an infatuation even in my head but the word that I truly meant and had denied only this morning had slipped free. I had taken the step into the unknown. I couldn't know if he felt the same way and it was probably even unlikely. He was much more reserved and protected his feeling behind thick walls. He never wore his heart on his sleeve like I did. The kiss he had initiated proved that he felt something for me, but love was a very strong word and I knew he wasn't comfortable with admitting the importance of things.

I tried to tell myself it would be okay if he couldn't say it back yet, we had, after all known each other for only little more than a week. He wasn't a sentimental person and would probably take longer to accept me so deep inside of him. Yet, I knew I was fooling myself. I was unused to leaving my feelings in the open, at least those that were as intense as those I had now. If he reacted poorly to it, I knew that wound would leave a scar. It would affect any future we could have even if I didn't want it to. I loved him and wanted to give him the time he needed, it was the only fair thing to do, the only thing love should allow but I was selfish. I wanted to be loved.

The pause stretched and I wanted to take everything back. He hadn't pushed away but I guessed it was because of the shock I had caused. Had I just ruined everything? Surely this had been too much, too fast. I was simply too emotional.

"I love you too"

So here it is. Chapter 10. I was actually going to do something completely different for this chapter but this came out and I can't complain. The drama I had planned will probably come along in the next chapter or two but we'll see. After all this is alredy completely different that what i had planned originally.

Anyways sorry this was a bit short but it felt right. Thank you so much for reading and for every amazing review.