Here's a small sampling of Esme and Carlisle for your reading pleasure!
Chapter 8.5 Standing In Front of You
"You said yes and danced before, And got your feelings hurt, You say most days you're good, It's not so bad in this room, Watching rain today, Even though it's clear and sunny, And your fight is so hard, How to tell if it's real or not, Take a breath and listen, Open up stop wishin', All that you've been missing, Standing in front of you." Standing In Front Of You- Kelly Clarkson
Esme-
I tentatively walk towards the guys. Bella and Edward know exactly where they stand. Carlisle, well, he's an enigma wrapped up in a riddle. His eyes scream fun loving but there's hurt there, deep hurt. Will he let go enough to have fun and enjoy himself, or will I spend the whole vacation begging him to do those two simple actions?
I square my shoulders and paste a huge smile on my face and approach him.
"Hey, hope you don't mind but Edward volunteered you to drive me around the island." He's checking the moped, but he looks up from the corner of his eyes to meet mine.
"Yeah, he told me." Hmm, a man of few words.
"I can rent my own if I need to." I lay a hand on his arm. His eyes focus on the place where our skin meets. I see his shoulders move as he sucks in a deep breath. Indecision rolls off of him like a Tsunami wave. My heart aches for his, he's obviously suffered deeply. I want to take him in my arms and just hold him.
The silence isn't awkward, yet, but his lack of an answer really tells me what he's thinking.
I pull my hand away and plaster a fake smile on my face to reassure him. "I'll go grab one." I turn to secure my own moped. His dismissal doesn't deliver a fatal blow but I'm certainly feeling the sting.
"Hey," He reaches and stops me by taking my wrist. His large, warm hand closes around mine easily. His size is a huge turn on, but it's more than that. It's his balance of size and power with his clear vulnerability. He needs a good woman behind him, encouraging him, building his confidence so he can go out and use his size to tackle the world.
Our eyes meet, his hurt that was previously there was replaced by indecision, and now it changes to surrender. "Don't do that, you can share with me." His thumb rubs along the soft underside of my wrist, sparks seem to trail his movements.
I chance a glance over at Bella and Edward, they are locked in each other's arms, all wrapped up in their own bubble. Carlisle follows my eyes and pulls his hand away when he spots our friends. My hand stops his retreat.
"Hey, we're not them. We can just be us and that's fine with me. I have zero expectations here." I slide my hand up his arm some and wrap my fingers around his sexy forearm muscle. "Let's just enjoy the day and see where it takes us, okay?" A slow smile from his sexy lips tells me I've said the right thing. No words are uttered by him but a nod gives his acceptance.
"Hey, slow pokes, y'all ready?" Edward yells from across the parking lot.
My back is turned to them now so I feel comfortable saying my peace. "That Boy is damn country, and I'm from Texas so that says a lot." Carlisle just snorts a laugh through his lips.
"You have no idea, Esme, really." My name on his lips makes me want to do dirty things to him, but clearly it's too soon to tell him these sorts of thoughts, so I hold them in.
Carlisle lifts his leg and climbs on the moped, then holds out a hand to help me on as well. I take his hand and feel his thumb caress my skin as I situate myself on the back of the moped behind him.
"You on?" He asks over his shoulder.
"Yeah." I notice two things. His eyelashes are so long and his jawline is totally lickable from this angle.
"You have to hold on to me, maybe you should scoot closer, I don't want you to fall off." He's turned back to watch Edward and Bella take off, so I can only see the very corner of his mouth, but it's enough to know he's wearing a huge smile.
I scoot closer and re-situate myself, Carlisle's right hand sneaks back to my hip and pulls me even closer.
Oh that's how he wants to play it, alrighty then.
I lift and place my body directly against his entire back. There is no air, no daylight, no possible space between us now. I wait for his response, but none comes. He just gives a slight head nod and starts the moped.
When he guns the engine and takes off, I hold him a little tighter. I'm dying to lift his t-shirt and touch his warm skin, to run my hand along the chiseled abs I'm sure are underneath the simple cotton fabric. But I don't, afraid to scare him off.
I'm a lot to handle, I know this. I have no control over this, I simply know myself and what I want. To some men that's intimidating, I hope Carlisle isn't in that category. I hope he's confident enough to see my bold personality for what it is.
"Look." His hand points off in the distance as his voice drifts back to me. We're passing a clearing in the jungle of trees and can see down to the water. It's so crystal clear that we can see a school of fish swimming around the cove. It's absolutely breathtaking.
"Wow." I gasp. I lean slightly closer to Carlisle and place my chin on his shoulder. His hand slips back and holds me against him.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" I just nod. "One day I'll have to bring my kids here, they would love this, they're water babies, for sure." I feel his back muscles tense as he speaks. It's almost as if he's mentioned his kids by accident, as if he's so used to talking about them that his brain automatically mentions them without hesitation.
"I'd love to hear about them, how many kids do you have?" As if I thought he couldn't get any more perfect, he mentioned the one thing that could make him more desirable in my mind.
"Uhm, three?" His voice waivers slightly on the simple single syllable word.
"You are so lucky." I gasp. My heart would be overflowing with love if I had three kids. "How old are they?"
"6,3, and one. Two girls and a boy in the middle." I can see the barest spark in his eyes when he talks about his kids. It's clear they're everything to him. And I can understand why, all that he has is my every goal at this very moment.
"What are their names?" I inch a little closer so I can hear him over the wind that whips past us.
"Charlotte, Peter, and Maggie. They're the best kids. So amazing, Charlotte is such a little girlie girl. And Peter wants to do everything I do. Maggie, she's still at that stage where she learns so much, every single day she does something new she couldn't do the day before." My heart and ovaries both squee with delight. I can close my eyes and almost picture them.
"They sound amazing." Wistful longings color every single syllable I speak.
He does a double take, confusion written on his face, it's clear even though I can only see his profile.
"I've always wanted kids, I'm a natural mother." I duck my face a bit, some people understand and some don't. I want to assume Carlisle does since he seems to adore his kids, but assuming will get you into a lot of trouble. There are those men who assume when you say you want kids, you mean I want your money for the next 18 years. Clearly that's not the case, but how do I explain that to a man I'm only planning to have a vacation fling with. "I've achieved all my goals as far as my career goes, so now I want to focus on my home life." I offer. Maybe this will show him my intentions, I want a life. A husband, a home, and kids. Not a 'Baby Daddy' who will do nothing but make my life miserable and fuck with my kids head.
Carlisle turns his head and nods slightly at me. Worry invades my mind, I over think this subject. It drives me crazy, I'm not an over thinker so the few occasions it happens, it makes me insane.
Just as I open my mouth to explain more, his hand drops to my right knee and he tucks his fingers between my leg and the vinyl seat. His thumb caresses in small circles and all worry and doubt flies away with the wind. Relief settles in my soul as I relax against Carlisle's back as we ride.
My mind wants to contemplate what could come of this, but I shut the thoughts down. He's gorgeous, he's mature, and he loves kids, but he lives at the bottom end of the continent. He's not even in the same country for crying out loud.
I don't have any more time to dwell on where we each are in life and how scared I made him about my need to have babies because we reached the market. Carlisle reaches for my hand and helps me off the moped when we come to a stop in the make shift parking lot. As we make our way into the market, he takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. I catch his shy smile from the corner of my eye. I can't lie, it's taking all I have in me not to giggle behind my hand like I'm in elementary school.
"Hey, do you think Charlotte and Maggie will like these?" He asks as he holds two sweet little dolls that are obviously handmade. I walk closer to him and take one of the dolls. I look her over. Her face is hand painted, her simple cotton dress is hand sewn, her hair is braided down each side of her head, and she is beautiful. One doll has lighter colored dress but both have blonde hair.
"They should, these are so pretty. But uhm..." I hesitate.
Carlie's eyes go wide and he has a look of panic on his face. "What?" He asks.
"Do the girls have the same colored hair?" I hold up both dolls. His face relaxes. "Because a girl wants a doll that's just like her so if they have different colored hair then you should but a different doll for each one." His face takes on an incredulous look.
"How do you know this shit?" He asks and takes both dolls from me.
I motion to my chest and wait for him to stop and look at me. "Uhm, I'm a girl, I know this shit from experience." He chuckles and shakes his head slightly. I watch his sexy ass as he walks away to go to pay for the dolls. He stops suddenly and walks back to me.
"Thanks, Esme." He pulls back and searches my eyes before he continues. "I mean that." He smiles and grabs my hand again. I feel a slight squeeze and immediately feel a blush cover my cheeks.
"Sure, it's no big deal. I'm happy to help." I follow behind him like a puppy following food as he makes his way back to the lady who will take his money.
We purchase a wooden carved train whistle for Peter and meet up with Edward and Bella. Everyone pulls out their souvenirs to begin the show and tell. Carlisle goes last as he shows off the dolls, he grabs his pocket and pulls out his phone. "Hey, Esme, look." He scrolls through and stops at a picture of all three kids sitting on the beach in sand, half buried. He was right, both girls have pretty much the same colored honey blond hair. Peter's is darker.
"Wow, they are beautiful." I'm mesmerized and instantly in love. He scrolls through and shows me about a million pictures and videos he's taken or had taken with him and the kids. It's clear he's 100% devoted to them. His face is totally different in the pictures where he's looking at the kids. It's a softer, loving version of the face he shows to everyone else. As handsome as he is, and trust me he's one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen, he's even more beautiful when he's with his children.
The rest of the time at the market, the cafe, and on the way to the animal preserve, we do the get to know you question and answer thing, so we can learn more about each other.
After we leave the Animal Preserve, we end up at the beach. Emmett and Rosalie, and Edward and Bella both branch off to their own section of the beach. It leaves Carlisle and I all alone. For some reason I feel like someone took the pressure off suddenly. I know we've basically been alone most of the day, but I can still feel the looks from the other four, the questions rolling around in their heads, wondering if we are getting along. It's nice to just be the two of us now so we can just be.
And I can't lie, I'm stoked to be at the beach, as a long time resident of Vancouver, I don't see a beach much, especially with my profession. An idea pops into my head. I grab Carlisle's hand and put on my most sincere set of puppy dog eyes. "Hey, you should let me bury you like the kids were in that picture."
"What? Are you serious?" I see panic running loose in his mind.
"Yes!" I jump up and down, pleading.
"But we don't have any shovels or anything to dig with." He offers. I'm not hearing any of it.
"Carlisle, are you scared or something?" I have brothers so I know the fastest way to make a guy do something is to ask if they are afraid of doing it. It's like it flips that testosterone switch and forces their pride to step up and prove they are most definitely not scared.
"No, not scared at all. Let's go." He grabs my hand and moves rapidly toward the deserted beach. We both bend and dig a slight trench for his body to fit into and then he lays down. I begin to push dirt back up over him. He's quiet while I work but I feel his eyes looking me up and down. I stay silent, it's almost a serene feeling knowing we can be together without words.
When he's completely covered, I pat the moist sand tightly down onto his frame. I don't want him breaking out before it's time. I have plans for him, now that I have him incapacitated.
"Well now, now. Looks like I have you at my mercy, now what you gonna do, Hot Shot?" I grin evilly and tap my fingers together one by one.
"Well that depends, what is it you plan to do with me?" I have to give him credit because he could so easily break out of the sand tomb I've put him in yet he hasn't. He's patiently waiting on me.
"A little of this and a lot of that." I say as I slowly descend towards his reclining face. I press a small kiss to his right cheek, and lean in to place a matching kiss to his left cheek. I run my fingers through his wind blown hair and push it away from his face to give me more space to kiss. His skin is flawless and his features are totally relaxed. So I place another kiss closer to his mouth. He doesn't press, he allows me to lead. Never one to back down, I place a quick kiss to his lips. When I pull away I see his eyes still closed and his lips pursed to continue the kiss.
I take his jawline into both my hands and lean down to fully kiss him. He's expecting it this time and he kisses me back, very tentatively at first but he let's go of his control as the kiss goes on. I pull back and suck his lower lip in between mine as he parts his lips. His warm breath mingles with mine and I hear the slightest moan in the back of his throat. I brush his hair back again and run my hand along his throat. When I close the distance between us, I lead with my tongue. Carlisle instantly opens for me and kisses me back. I feel the matching smile on the corners of our mouths. Our tongues mingle until I'm out of breath and half laying on Carlisle's sarcophagus of sand.
It's official, I'm a slut. I'm making out with a sand man! I burst out in giggles and pull away from his face.
"Esme, you can't break out into laughter while kissing a man, it's not good for his self esteem. Trust me." Carlisle laments as I look down on him.
"Oh, no, Sexy, I'm not laughing at you, trust me. What you make me want to do to you, in public no less," I glance around to make sure that no one else has arrived on our beach while I was otherwise engaged. "Is no laughing matter." I might as well be honest with him, he deserves that much.
"You? What it does to you? Esme, let me just say that I sure am glad there's a shit ton of sand covering my body if you know what I mean." I can't help myself, I glance down and realize there's a small crack right over his crotch. I roll over onto my back in fits of laughter for real at the sight.
"What, Esme, What? What's so funny? Oh God, is it poking out?" He sits up frantically and rushes to cover himself.
Tears are streaming at this point, Carlisle is so damn funny without ever really trying to be, he just is.
"No, it's not poking out but there was a..." His eyes go wide and his panic amps up again. I reach for his hands and take them into mine. "I'm sorry, so sorry, no it's was just a tiny crack in the sand that's all. I swear."
"Come on, Woman, I'll show you a tiny crack in the sand." He stands and dusts off the sand from his clothes, then grabs my hand and pulls me back up the beach towards our moped.
I think me and Carlisle are about to go get cleaned up and immediately get dirty again, and I can't wait.
LMWM—-LMWM
Songs- Standing In Front Of You- Kelly Clarkson
If No one Will Listen- Kelly Clarkson
Read on for the next Bella and Edward chapter!