Season 1 Episode 17: Rational Treasure
Episode Summary: The gang finds evidence that the town fonder is a hoax, and go to unravel the mystery, unfortunately for them however, some very powerful people don't want that secret getting out. Have our favorite mystery gang bitten off more than they can chew?
Disclaimers: I do not own Gravity Falls or the Relativity Falls AU idea.
Rational Treasure (Part 1)
"Okay, Okay." Ford said as he paced around his room knowingly; before him was a corkboard with several pictures and red string. "What do we know so far?"
"Nothing!" Stan yelled excitingly from behind his brother, causing his twin to jump in the air.
"Stan cut it out!" Ford whined. "This is serious!"
"Serious?" Stan asked looking shocked. "I had no idea!" Then he laughed. "Come on bro we both know I don't take anything seriously."
Ford sighed. "Yeah I know, but for once I wish you would!" he scowled.
"And I wish you'd lighten up!" Stan argued, "But we both know that's never gonna happen."
Ford opened his mouth to argue only to be interrupted.
"Kids!" Grauntie Mabel called out. "Are you ready? We're gonna be late!"
"COMING, Grauntie Mabel!" The twins answered in unison. Mabel was making them dress up in old-fashioned clothing for some occasion, but she wouldn't say what specifically.
The two ran down stairs to find a surprise waiting for them.
"Heather!" Ford said, taking her in.
Heather, who usually were dark colors was where an old style yellow dress with a matching bonnet. "Laugh and I will haunt your every nightmare." She warned.
Stan covers up his mouth forcing the laugh down. "Wow...nice...dress."
"Okay seriously why are we wearing this stuff?" Ford asked, noticing that Mabel was wearing her own old style dress and bonnet.
"You'll see." Fids said, he was dressed as an old timey farmer.
"Alright youngins." Mabel said "Get in the car...I mean the transportation vehicle that doesn't exist."
"But it does... exist." Ford pointed out as they ran outside and out to the car.
"You'll understand when we get into town." Heather assured him.
"It's the best time of the year!" Fids declared.
"You kids all ready?" Mabel asked from the driver's seat. The four nodded. "Then here we go!" Grauntie Mabel buckled up and waited for the kids to do the same before she shifted the gear and drove into town.
After a while, Stan grew bored and slipped on one of his Grauntie's homemade sweaters over his old-fashioned outfit with a crescent-shaped symbol on it and nudged his brother. "Hey, Ford!" Ford turned around, but Stan ended up poking his nose and laughing. "BOOP!" He did it again. "BOOP! BOP!"
"Stop it!" Ford grabbed his nose. "Grauntie Mabel! Stan is bothering me!"
"Cut it out," she ordered. Ford noticed that the car was coming to a stop, but they were still a while away from town, "Okay, get out of the car," Grauntie Mabel said.
"Oh no she's gonna beat us with a stick!" Stan realized.
"Don't you mean you?" Ford pointed out.
"Yeah you're the one picking on Ford." Heather pointed out as Fids laughed.
"I'm sorry, Grauntie Mabel!" Stan apologized looking fearful. "I'll stop! Promise!"
Mabel caught his distraught and laughed, "I was gonna make you get out anyway. You'll see why in a bit."
Ford and Stan exchanged glances, but they got out of the car and walked the rest of the way into town. They gasped when they noticed the changes. Everything and everyone around them looked old fashioned, as if they had time traveled a hundred-fifty years in the past, "Wow! Look at this town!" Ford exclaimed.
"What is all this?" Stan asked.
"Every year on this day we dress up like they did in 1863," Mabel explained with a smile. "And live the simple life, we call it Pioneer Day: The day we celebrate the founding of Gravity Falls!"
Toby Determined greeted them, and he was dressed old fashioned as well, "Welcome to 1863!" Around them were people doing various activities. There was candle dipping, gold panning, and… a man was marrying a woodpecker.
"I thought it wasn't legal to marry woodpeckers anymore," Fids said. "Like they stopped within a year."
"Why?" Stan asked.
"Too many law suits." Heather explained.
The man that just married the woodpecker walked past them, "Oh, it is, son. It's still very legal."
"So there's like no modernized technology anywhere?" Stan asked, then he looked to Fids and Ford expectantly. "How are you two okay with this?"
"I think it's cool." Ford admitted. "People rely too much on easy solutions these days.
"Yeah this is nothing new." Fids said. "My dad lives like this all the time."
"I like it because I get to enjoy all these neat crafts." Heather added. "Even if the dress is over the top.
"Well I hate it!" Stan revealed. "I mean sure it looks cool and all, but it smells and there's not a real bathroom within 20 blocks." He said, pointing to the outhouse beside them.
"Oh come on Stan." Heather teased. "Where's your sense of adventure?"
Near them, someone was announcing the opening ceremonies, "Come on, kids!" Mabel said, hurrying them along. "And don't forget..." she punctuated her next sentence with a folksy accent. "Y'all got to talk like 'em, too!"
Ford did his best impression of Mabel's accent, "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!"
"Well hornswabber my haversack!" Heather said, mimicking the other two.
"Well I recon we ought to mosey on over." Fids added.
"You're all dead to me!" Stan declared in indifference.
The others laughed and ran off to the crowd.
Mabel smiled proudly and followed them.
Stan, Ford, Heather, and Fids stopped at the front of the growing crowd, and Stan opened a bag of candy he brought and ate one. He held the bag out to Ford, "You want one?"
"No, thanks," Ford declined. He paused. "Wait. I thought the dentist said you shouldn't have anything that'll ruin your braces."
"Don't worry. Its hard candy," he smiled and popped one in his mouth. Mabel had taken him to the dentist a few days before, saying that Stan would thank her in the long run. Stan couldn't believe his parents actually agreed, but then again Mabel did say she'd pay for everything. It was just like their parents to be cheap, truth was Stan had needed braces for a while, and even a few fillings.
Ford knew it was because his brother ate too much sweets and drank gallons of soda a day.
"I'll have one!" Fids piped up.
"Me too!" Heather agreed.
Stan passed out a few to his friends as the opening ceremonies were starting, and the kids turned their attention to the stage, but suddenly they saw that the person that came up on the stage was none other than Preston Northwest.
"Howdy, everyone!" he waved. "You all know me, Preston Northwest, great-great grandson of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich," he added smugly. The crowd applauded, but Ford and Stan didn't. Stan looked angry as he sucked on the hard candy. "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you to come on up and introduce yourself."
Stan smiled, and he started to go up, but Ford stopped him, "Wait, Stan! Isn't that guy supposed to be your arch-enemy?"
Stan replied with the candy still in his mouth, "Yes, but now's my time to shine!" Stan spat out the candy into the wrapper and ran up to the stage and yelled towards the audience. "Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!" He chanted.
The crowd chanted with him, "USA! USA! USA! USA!"
Preston laughed and interrupted him, "I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you are not serious. You're even wearing a sweater in summer, stupid!"
"What do you mean?" Stan asked. "I'm overflowing with seriousness! I can be serious right now! Look!" He tried to make a serious expression, but he only managed to pull off a strained, angry look, and he farted a little on accident. He blushed a deep red when he heard the noise slip.
Preston laughed at him, "Wow, I'm almost embarrassed for you," he turned to the audience. "Everybody give him a hand!" The audience clapped and laughed, but Ford looked worried. Stan sadly walked off the stage. "Now who wants to hear more about me?"
The gang ignored him and came to Stan's aid.
"Oh Stan, I'm so sorry." Fids said.
"I should have gone up with you." Heather realized.
"Hey, you okay?" Ford asked.
"I need some old-timey butterscotch," Stan pouted.
Grauntie Mabel took some old coins from her purse, "Here you are, Stan. They only accept old-fashioned coins today. And let me know if you see any horseshoes or roadkill on the ground, because they take that as money too," she bent down to hug Stan. "Don't listen to that boy, alright, my little Stan?" Stan only nodded a little, but that was enough for Mabel. "I'm going to the candle-making station in case you need me. Alright?"
The moment she left, Stan ran away. Ford and their friends ran after him, until Stan stopped near a large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. He sat down and cried, and Ford sat next to him and tried to comfort him.
"Stupid Pioneer Day!" Stan cried. "I told you this was a bad idea."
"Cheer up Ford." Heather insisted, she had taken the money from Stan and motioned for Fids to go buy some candy.
Fids obeyed hoping to cheer him up, usually it was Stan who was cheering everyone else up.
Ford couldn't help but agree more, His whole life Stan had been there for him. He made Ford laugh when he wanted to cry, so seeing Stan like this now...well Ford didn't know how to handle it.
"Ford, can I ask you something?" Stan asked. "Do you think I'm silly?"
Ford bit his lip. He had said just this morning that he wished Stan was more serious. Now he was wishing he could take it back. "Uh, noooo?" he finally answered.
"I knew it!" Stan exclaimed sadly, seeing through Ford's petty attempt of a lie. "I thought I was being charming, but people only see me as a big joke," he took off the sweater and threw it on the ground.
"Come on, Stan. You love that sweater!" Ford said.
"Yeah Mabel made it special." Heather said. "Just for you."
"I did before Preston ruined it for me. He ruins everything!" Stan complained.
Ford glared at the statue of the town's founder, "Preston!" he sneered. "Why does he think that being related to the town founder means he can treat everyone like garbage? Someone needs to take him down a notch. Or a peg," Ford gasped. "Wait a minute!" He reached into his bag and pulled out the journal as Fids walked back up with the candy. "I feel like I read something about Preston's great-great grandfather before," Ford opened the journal and flipped through the pages until he found it. "A-ha! In my investigations," he read, "I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the true founder of Gravity Falls! I believe this secret is buried somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code," Ford pulled out a document from the page. It contained a complex series of letters, symbols, and words. "Wow! If this cover-up is true, it means that Preston's whole family is a fraud! This could be a major conspiracy!" He exclaimed.
"Really?" Stan asked hopefully.
"Hey, if this is true, and you help. You'd uncover the conspiracy." Fids pointed out handing him the butterscotch
"would that make me serious?" Stan asked
"Definitely," Ford nodded. "Mystery gang?" He said offering a fist bump.
Fids and Heather joined in, and then looked at Stan hopefully.
"I thought you guys hated that." Stan said.
Ford shrugged, "I'm starting to accept it,"
"It's got a nice ring to it once you give it a chance." Heather added.
"Now join in, my hands getting tiered." Fids complained.
Stan laughed and they all fist bumped and ran off to solve the mystery.
Unknown to either of them, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland had listened in to the entire conversation from behind the statue.
Blubs spoke in a walkie-talkie, "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!"
"What?!" the person on the other side asked. "And what are you doing about it?"
"I'm following them right now," he confirmed.
"Find them and stop them. There's no room for error."
"I understand. Blubs out," he ended the call and turned to Deputy Durland, "Deputy, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?"
"You know it," Durland smirked.
"Let's go get 'em!"
(Meanwhile…)
Ford decided that the best place to begin was the Gravity Falls Library. The gang started looking through books on deciphering messages, which Stan munching on his candy while reading. Ford found several methods to be interesting, and he noticed that some of the ciphers matched some of the secret messages written down in the journal. He would have to remind himself to check out those books later if he wanted to further decode the book, but so far, there was nothing on deciphering the document.
"It's not Egyptian," Fids sighed.
"It's not numerology either," Ford added as he read something else, and he gasped. "Wait- of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"
"Uh guys." Heather said trying to grab their attention. However the two were deep in thought now and couldn't be bothered.
"Hooray!" Stan cheered. "We're solving the mystery!" he declared as he began to fold the document into a hat.
"Okay," Ford said, walking over to the fireplace. "Now where's the- Stan!"
Stan was wearing the document as a paper hat, "Yay! I just made a hat!" Then he groaned when he realized what he just did. "I just did something silly again…"
Ford however, was paying more attention to the document on his head, and he noticed something, "Wait, Stan! You folded it into a map!" He paused. "...And I was going to burn it…"
"Ma'am, you wouldn't happen to see the Pines and their friends?" The sheriff's voice captured their attention.
He and his deputy were talking to the Librarian who pointed their way.
The gang hid under a table while the cops searched the library, "What do they want with us?" Stan asked.
"I don't know, but we should go somewhere safer," Ford suggested. They managed to sneak past the policemen and headed outside, where they would find their next clue.
A dark shadow of a triangle appeared on the wall where they were moments before.
'This isn't good.' The one eyed beast thought. 'If they discover what that document truly says it could ruin everything.' His one eye narrowed on Stan. 'Got to keep my eyes on sweaty palms.' He realized. 'He's smarter than he looks.'
And with that he disappeared to follow the little runts on their quest for answers.
(Back with Mabel…)
Meanwhile, Grauntie Mabel was at the candle dipping booth, only she wasn't just dipping candles, she was decorating them with tools she brought and some leftover colored wax from the old wax museum her nephews destroyed. She was even adding tinny little sweaters, and a lot of glitter.
"Ma'am," the man that ran the booth spoke up. "You're holding back the line," Grauntie Mabel peeked behind her to see that were a lot of angry people behind her waiting for their turns to dip candles. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave, or I'll have to escort you out."
Mabel scoffed, "You'll be thankful once I finish this. It'll do a lot of good for your business," she put the last, final touches on her candle and held it up for the man to see. "You like cats, right?"
The man's expression remained stern, "Are you going to leave or not?"
"I'll leave when I'm dead!" Grauntie Mabel yelled, holding her candles and art supplies protectively. She ignored the angry protests from people waiting behind her.
The man that ran the booth shook his head, "I'm sorry, Ma'am. I didn't want to do this."
She rolled her eyes, "What're you gonna do? Lock me in a stock?" She asked sarcastically.
Moments later Grauntie Mabel found herself locked in a stock and unable to get out, "I should really keep my mouth shut…" she mumbled.
(Back with Ford…)
The gang walked down the streets, trying their best to blend in with the crowd. Ford looked through the document turned to a paper hat. "It looks like the map is leading us to…" he followed it and pointed ahead of him. "The Gravity Falls Museum of History!"
"Are we gonna break in?!" Stan asked excitedly.
"Guys we don't need to." Heather pointed out.
"Yeah it's open." Fids said.
"But we're out of old timey coins!" Ford said. "We can't pay to get in. Stan's right we'll need to-"
"Oh my gosh seriously!" Heather pushed them all forward. "It's Pioneer Day!" She exclaimed. "We get as free tour!"
They walked in the main entrance and a kind lady gave them free Pioneer Day passes and balloons.
"See! Free!" Heather rasped.
Stan frowned at his blue balloon, "I wanted RED!"
Heather face palmed. "It's not me right?" She asked Fids hopefully.
"Focus, Stan," Ford looked carefully at the map. "According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right… here!" He pointed to a triangular exhibition piece made of carved stone mounted on the wall. "We've got to figure this one out quick. I have a feeling those cops might be after us…"
The gang looked at the exhibit and analyzed it. Ford was thinking that the piece could be abstract, and Fids was likely to agree.
"Well I'm stomped." Heather admitted.
"And I'm bored." Stan said and sat upside down on the bench. He gasped, "Ford, look!"
"Huh?" Ford copied his twin and gasped when the painting started making more sense. "It's not abstract, it's upside-down!"
Heather and Fids joined in and gasped the exhibit had transformed into a picture of a stone statue.
"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery," Heather said.
"When were you in the cemetery?" Ford asked.
"You don't know everything about me." Heather teased.
Ford shook his head. "Never mind. Let's go! Quick!"
The kids stood up and got a head rush from turning around so quickly, but they shook it off and ran out to the cemetery. Little did they know, the police officers were following them more closely than they thought?
And behind them was an even greater danger then they could ever imagine.
'The kid's good.' The one-eyed beast mused. 'But not good enough.' He smiled as he noticed the police closing in. 'They want this to disappear as much as I do.' And with that realization fresh on his mind he decided to let the authorities handle this one.
After all he already had enough of the Pines family's knack for meddling in his affairs, he didn't need any more.
'Sorry kids, but you should have seen this coming.' he mused. 'Some secrets are far too dangerous to know.' And with those last words he left the children to their unfortunate fate...
Author's Notes: Tune in next week to find out what happens next! Thanks again for reading and please review!
Yours Truly, RoxieDivine ;)