Season 1 Episode 18: The Time Traveler's Goat
Episode Summary: Stan has an awful day at the Town Fair, and wishes he could redo the whole day over! His wish soon comes true when he finds a time machine, and soon he's able to create the perfect day at the fair! However, Stan soon learn that time meddling has more than its fair share of consequences.
Disclaimers: I do not own Gravity Falls or the Relativity Falls AU idea.
The Time Traveler's Goat (Part 1)
The morning sun stayed bright and happy over the Mystery Shack and the yard behind it. Most days, this yard was empty and the public wasn't generally allowed near it. Today was different. Boxes, small buildings, and rides of all types of pastel colors were moved onto the property. Lines with colorful flags lined the premises.
In her colorful rainbow sweater, Grauntie Mabel stood and watched it all. Stan stood beside her, surveying the area as well. "There she is, Stan!" Grauntie Mabel announced. "The cheapest fair money can rent!"
Many yards above them, a line snapped. Ford screamed as the sky tram fell out of the air and hit the ground next to them. Mabel yelled and jumped back. Ford blinked but did not move. "I think the sky tram is broken… and so are most of my bones."
Edgy, bordering panic, and concerned, Grauntie Mabel looked over Ford worryingly. "Sorry about that Ford this thing must be older than I thought." She said. "I'll have to mark it unsafe."
Ford wiggled his limbs a bit, and deciding everything was fine he got up and walked out, Mabel relaxed and set them to work. "Alright, I have a job for you two." She pulled out two clipboards. "Most of these are already inspected, but I need you to write down the names of all the ones that don't have their papers on them. And tell them the sky-tram is broken." She turned to look at the dunk tank. "Fids! How's the dunk tank coming along?"
The young mechanic used a blowtorch on the handle of the dunk tank. He shut off his blow torch and lifted his mask. "It's almost ready, Mrs. Pines!"
Respectful of the small, enclosed space Fids had accidently backed himself into, Grauntie Mabel strolled over to the contraption and knocked on the handle. The seat shuttered. "You rigged it?" She asked.
"Stan told me to." Fids said. "Said we'd make more money."
"You've outdone yourself, Fids!" Stan praised. He looked to Mabel who gave him a stern look. "Oh common Mabel all fairs have rigged rides." He reasoned. "Tell her Ford."
"He's right." Ford said placing a piece of paper on the dunking booth. "Now we're official."
"Yep!" Stan said proudly. "Nothing can break it ever again."
A wide grin spread over Fids features. "Yep! Well, maybe a future-y arm canon."
"Very unlikely." Mabel cut in. "Oh, you haven't seen my red screwdriver have you?" She prompted and dug through a red toolbox next to them. "Darn thing went missing."
"Er… no, actually." Fids thought for a moment. "Weird. Maybe it was one of those paranormal critters that hang around here."
"Less probable than the arm canon! Those boys are rubbing off on you." Mabel said as she kept shuffling through the tools in the box as Fids went back to his tinkering. "It's got to be around here somewhere…"
However she would never find it for the red screwdriver was not in the box. A few feet away, behind some portable toilets, crouched a large man in a tight silver suit and small goggles. His hair was bald like the rest of his skin. He leaned in to a wide-faced watch on his wrist. "The mission is proceeding as planned. Over." He used Mabel's red screwdriver to tinker with the wrist device. Suddenly, his silver suit changed color and texture to fit the daytime forest and then the nighttime lake before blending into the portable toilets. He lowered the screwdriver, glanced about, and walked off.
Under the noon sun, the fair, which was by now completed and filled with tourists, came to life. Mabel, sitting casually in the dunk tank with a megaphone, glanced at her watch. She turned on the megaphone. "It's 12 o'clock, folks! The dunk tank is now open!" Various people covered their ears as the megaphone screeched. Grauntie Mabel turned it off and then back on again. "Step right up and dunk me, folks!"
Meanwhile, having finished their task Stan and Ford had joined their friends, Fids, Susan, Heather and Buddy to enjoy the festivities. Not too long after Dan had come over with a few Corn dogs for them to eat. However, these weren't normal corndogs. They had somehow bent them into the shape of a large question mark. Stan inspected his. "How do they get them into this shape, anyway? They're not like any corn dogs I've seen!"
Dan looked at him. "But Stan, they're so," Dan held up his corn dog so that it was next to the word "DELICIOUS". "-delicious?" The group laughed. Some mustard dripped from the corndog onto Dan's sleeve. "Ah! Boo! I'll be right back." Dan wrinkled his nose at the mess but soon shrugged and walked off.
"I'm going to get some Cotton candy." Heather looking to Susan. "Want to come?"
Susan nodded and soon Fids, Buddy, and the Stan twins find themselves alone.
"So this the first fair ya'll ever went to?" Buddy asked Stan.
"No but it had been a while." Stan said we haven't had this much candy since…" Forgetting the answer.
"The Halloween before last." Ford reminded him. "When Dad made us go to that party and you stuffed the entire candy bowl in your bag!"
"Oh, yeah!" Stan laughed. "Dad almost killed us!"
"Tsk. Like he didn't try his best, eh?" Ford elbowed him as he finished his corn dog. He wrinkled his nose. "Do you smell a gallon of cologne?"
Lengthy shadows fell over them as Cooper Green, Heather's Ex appeared. "Hey, have any of you dorks seen Heather and Susan?"
Inspecting his new tight black jeans Stan raised his eyebrows at her. "And who wants to know?"
"Keh. Me." Cooper took the rest of Stan's corndog and gulped it down.
"Hey!" Ford took a step back, shocked by his boldness.
The unconcerned teen went on, "Oh, I just got some new super-tight pants. Thought they'd want to check it out or whatever."
"They went to the Bottomless Pit." Stan wrinkled his nose. "Maybe you should jump in."
"Eh, maybe I will." Cooper narrowed her eyes.
"They're over getting some cotton candy." Ford answered hoping to avoid a fight from breaking out.
Cooper smiled. "Thanks four eyes." And walked off in that direction bumping Stan as he did so.
"What a jerk." Stan said.
"Yeah, a jerk with tight pants and a guitar." Fids pointed out.
"You're right!" Stan exclaimed. "I've got to keep him away from Susan."
Buddy gave him a look. "I thought you two agreed that you were just friends." He reminded Stan.
"I know." Stan said. "But do you want her with that guy?" Stan snapped back. "I sure don't."
"He's obviously after Heather." Buddy reasoned.
"Nope." Ford said. "Heather has made it clear that she is never dating him again."
Buddy sighs, but nods his agreement all the same. "Fine but we work together on this." He reasoned, He hoped by helping Stan he'd keep him from going too far and ruining his friendship with Susan.
"Agreed." Stan said and the two shook hands to make it official.
Ford shook his head. "Well while you two are conspiring against our friends I'm going to get some cotton candy." He looked to Fids. "Want some?"
"Who can say no to sugar?" Fids asked. He looked to the other two. "You coming."
Stan nodded. "Might as well can't let Cooper get the advantage." He said as the four boys made their way over.
Ford shook his head. "Stan I know you like her, but I don't know how I feel about you two messing with Susan's love life, even if we don't like Cooper." He added. Suddenly he stopped "Woah!" he said looking over Stan's shoulder to see a quiz game.
Interested, Stan looked back. "Huh? Oh!" He laughed and pushed Ford. "Leave it to you to find the only nerd game here!"
Ford gave him a playful shove forgetting all about the cotton candy in his excitement. "Shut up! I'm going to go beat it. I'll be right back!" He ran off to join the game. Three other contestants flocked to it.
"Wow I thought Ford would be more aggressive towards Cooper." Fids admitted.
"That's because you don't know my brother." Stan explained. "He never makes a move, ever!"
"Well I'm with him on this." Fids said. "I will not get involved with messing with this." He then raced over to catch up with Ford.
"Step right up!" the man behind the booth called as he walked up. "See how smart you really are!"
Ford was buzzing with excitement, he had just bought his ticket and jumped up on one of the chairs between two other people. He was completely dwarfed in size by the older teens and the one adult there.
The man chuckled. "Hey! I'm sorry, kid, but this might be a bit advanced for you. If you want, there's a kid's booth over that way." He pointed to a booth a few feet away. A few kids, ranging from eight to twelve, were at a more vibrant and cartoony booth.
Ford shook his head. "I'm mature enough!" He put down a ticket. "And I've got a ticket!"
"Okay, kid," the man replied with a shrug and took the ticket. "Suit yourself." He said as Fids came to stand in the chair with Ford.
"What say you Kid?" The man asked him.
Fids smiled. "No I think I'll let my friend show you how it's done." He gave Ford an encouraging pat on the back. "Knock 'em dead."
Ford smiled he just loved out smarting know it all adults like this guy.
"Now, first round is over history!" The man Said as the red button on the table in front of each person glowed. "When was World War I? A. April, 1940. B. August 1920, C. July 1937, D. June 1914."
Ford immediately pressed the button before the others could. "D!" he piped up. "June of 1914."
The man stared at him for a second and then nodded. "Yes, actually. Next question!"
Meanwhile, Stan and Buddy had caught up with the girls who had thankfully seemed to get rid of Cooper before they arrived. Dan had also caught up with them before revealing that he was task with running the T-shirt stand.
"I'll catch you dudes later." He assured them.
The four waved him good bye before moving on their way. Moments later something amazing catches Heather's eye. "oh man!" She said tapping Susan and pointed.
Susan looked up to a shelf of purple and pink stuffed bears. And although they were round and soft like a teddy bear, they had little wings, duck feet, and duck bills. Below it was a booth with multiple three-milk-glass-bottle stands. "Whoa! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!"
Stan smirked, "You know, I learned the secret to these."
"Oh?" Susan prompted.
"You aim for the dude's head and take the prize while he's unconscious," Stan snickered.
Buddy laughed, it was moments like this that he actually like Stan, and even regretted the fact that he and his sister planned to stab them all in the back.
"Ha! Nice!" Susan laughed as well.
"So who First?" Stan asked.
"Well since you know the game so well." Heather teased.
"Okay." Stan, puffed out his chest, handed and a ticket to the man at the booth.
The man handed him a ball. "You only get one shot."
"One shot's all I need." Stan took a step back, raised his arm, and chucked the ball as hard as he could. It barreled through the milk bottles, causing them to burst back. The ball bounced off the backboard and hit Susan in the eye.
"Agk! My eye!" She held a hand to her left eye, grimacing in pain.
"Oh man!" Stan gasped. "Are you okay?!"
Susan, wincing, lifted his hand from her bruised eye. "Ugh. Is it that bad?"
"Stan go get some ice hurry!" Heather instructed looking over their friend.
Stan sucked in his breath. "It's gunna be fine! I, uh, I'll be right back! Stay here!" He ran off to find the freezer in the kitchen, grabbed a bag of peas, and, clutching it like a lifeline, raced back to the ball throw stand. Before he could get there, he ran into the silver-suit bald guy with goggles. Stan dropped the frozen bag a few feet away. He immediately grabbed the bag of peas, which had split and sent frozen vegetables everywhere. "Watch where you're going, man!"
The man snatched his measuring tape from the ground, as it had fallen, and raced away. Stan ran to meet up with Susan dropping a trail of peas behind him as he went.
However, he stopped when he heard Cooper's voice.
"Okay, here. Just set the freezy cone on your eye." Cooper held her purple freezy cone up to Susan's face.
Susan smiled and, once Cooper let go of it, straightened herself out a bit so she wasn't hunched over. "Thanks Cooper." Susan blushed as she spoke.
Stan dropped the rest of the frozen peas in defeat, he turned and walked away in the opposite direction, kicking a can as he went.
Meanwhile, a small crowd had appeared around the quiz stand. A board with their scores was on it. Ford was the only one who had any marks.
"Last question!" the man announced. The only one of the four contestants that looked excited was Ford, that and Fids who wouldn't stop cheering him on. The rest were surprised or exasperated. One was skeptical. The man who ran the booth went on, "When was Gravity Falls founded? A. 1849, B. 1842, C. 1850, D. 1830." This question brought excitement from those native to Gravity Falls.
Ford smacked the button and announced, "B! Gravity Falls was found in 1842!"
The man who worked at the booth nodded. "That's correct! We have a winner!" The crowd clapped. "What's your name, kid?"
"I'm Ford!" Ford answered and puffed out his chest.
"Well congratulations, Ford. Here's your prize!" The man waved Ford around and gestured to a pen next to him filled with goats- most of them very young. "Which one would you like?"
Ford jumped Out of his seat and approached the pen. "A baby goat?" he said not really seeing much of a choice, until his eyes fell on one smaller than the rest. The little guy was cream with a white chest and a blotch of amber brown fur on his lower back. One of his horns looked to be missing.
The Goat looked at him with an almost intelligent look in his eyes.
"I want that one!" he declared pointing him.
"Very well." The man opened the pen and Ford and Fids ran in to claim the goat.
Preston glanced at them as he passed by with some of his snobby friends. "Ha! Looks like he's found his real twin!"
Ford ignored him as he hugged his new friend. "I'm going to name you Gompers."
"Gompers?" Fids asked.
"My Granddad had a goat and he named it Gompers." Ford explained. He smiled as the goat nibbled on his shirt. He looked down.
Gompers baaed.
"He's perfect!" Ford said.
"Thank your parents will let you keep him." Fids asked.
Ford's face fell. "Probably not." He said.
"Well I'm sure Waddles can keep him company during the school year." Fids assured him.
Ford smiled as he realized his friend was right.
The man who ran the booth tied a rope around the goat's neck as a leash, plucked the little guy up and presented him to Ford. As soon as Ford held him, and took his leash, the goat baaed and nibbled on his hair.
He laughed and wrinkled his nose at Gompers. "Everything's different now."
(Back with Heather…)
Cooper played with the string on his hoodie as he turned his attention to Heather. "I, uh… you know, I've been wondering. I know we broke up, but I've really changed since then and…"
"Yeah?" Heather asked.
"I was wondering if you'd give me another chance." Cooper said hopefully.
Buddy smiled, he knew it! Cooper was after Heather he looked around for Stan only to notice his friend had started to walk away. 'Oh no he has the wrong idea!' Buddy stood up straighter with a look of determination on his face. 'I have to tell him!' he raced off after him, but soon lost him in the crowd. "Stan? Stan?" he yelled, but nothing.
He had lost him!
In the meantime Heather was thinking really hard about what Cooper said. She had broken up with him because the guy had temper problems. How could she be sure he wouldn't snap again?
"Look I know what you're going to say but please just give me a chance." Cooper asked hopefully.
Heather looked to Susan who gave her a reassuring nod.
Heather smiled. "Okay, but you get one chance!" She warned.
"Cool!" Cooper perked up and looked to Susan. "You want us to walk you home?" he asked.
Susan nodded and soon the three are on their way.
It's in that second that Ford and Fids find Stan mopping off towards the Shack.
Ford, his smile wide and eyes bright, approached his brother. "Look! I have a goat now! His name is Gompers."
Gompers baes at Stan looking almost hopeful, but Stan looks away.
Ford's smile deteriorated. "What's wrong?"
Stan points at Susan who is being helped out by Heather and Cooper.
"Oh." Ford said getting the picture.
"You think they're dating?" Fids asked.
"Don't know." Stan managed. "I accidentally hit her in the eye with one of the balls." He punched the Shack angrily. "She'll never date me now!"
Darkness started to fall over the valley. The lights on the fair blazed to life. And Buddy still couldn't find Stan. Man he had never seen the property so crowded. "Maybe I should tell Grandad and Bonnie about this here idea." He thought out loud. "Who knew a fair would attract so much people."
Ford guided his brother over to a less popular game to talk things out. He knew he could let Stan go inside the Shack, but being alone was the last thing Stan needed when he was angry. Due to the fact that his temper usually got the best of him causing him to wreck the place. And Mabel didn't need to use all today's money on fixing the shack.
Stan sat on the sloppy toss ramp, his elbows on his knees and chin in his hands. Ford sat down on the ground beside him with Gompers.
Fids had decided to go check up on Dan and see if he'd like a break from selling Shirts to get some food and ride a few rides. Dan said yes and Fids took his place selling Shirts for the time being, leaving the twins alone. It was strange they use to always be alone with just each other as friends, but now in a matter of weeks they had made more friends than they had ever done back at home.
"Ford?" Stan prompted. "Do you ever wish you could just… go back and fix one mistake?"
Ford shrugged. "Not really." He answered. "The Past is the past." He said. "Besides maybe you miss read it." He suggested. "Maybe they're not dating."
"It doesn't matter!" Stan exclaimed. "Ugh. I mean, Susan only left with Cooper because he was there with the frozen peas. She needed them because of the baseball. I would've had it if it wasn't for…" His eyes moved up. The bald guy in the silver suit and goggles tampered with something on a hay bale a few feet away. "-that guy!" Stan pointed at the man and stalked up to him.
Ford got up and followed him, ready to intervene if a fight broke out. He loved his brother dearly, but Stan was very hotheaded. "Hey, tool belt!" The silver-suited man turned around to look at them. He bristled at their approached. "You ruined my chance!"
"H-huh?" The man asked.
"Don't act innocent! I've seen you before! Who are you, anyway? Are you following us around?" Stan demanded.
The man gasped. "Oh no! My position has been compromised! Assuming stealth mode!" He looked about and fiddled with the device on his wrist. His silver suit turned a variety of colors. "Color match! Initiating color match!" His suit changed to the island in the middle of the foggy lake, piles of sap on cave walls, and the outside of the arcade. It buzzed in static and nothing stuck. "Come on, dang it!" He stamped his foot and pulled out Mabel's screwdriver to tinker with it.
Ford's eyes grew round. "Whoa! That's amazing. Are you from the future or something?"
"Uh, no!" Blendin looked around. "Wh-who told you that? Memory wipe!" He threw a little light teal square at Ford's face.
Ford recoiled and took it off. "This is a… baby wipe."
Blendin sighed and sat down on the hay bale. "Alright. You've cornered me. I'm… a time traveler."
"Wait," Ford stated. "If you're a time traveler… you must have a time traveling machine, right?"
Blendin nodded. "That's kinda how it works."
Stan's face suddenly morphed into a smile as he looked down at Blendin. "Can I borrow it? Just once?"
"Absolutely not!" Blendin stood up and waved his hands in a 'no' manner. He took out his tape measure with an hourglass on it. "This is sensitive, extremely complicated time equipment." He pulled out the tape measure to show them.
Ford raised an eyebrow. "That looks like a tape measure."
"Shut your time mouth!" Blendin snapped.
Ford turned to Stan. Stan shrugged. "Does this make any sense to you?"
Ford shook his head. "This sounds kind of crazy."
"Oh? Don't believe me?" Blendin prompted. He unrolled his tape measure and let go. He was gone in a flash of light. Not even a second passed before he was back. This time, he was dressed up in old-time, renaissance garb. "Guess where I just was?"
"Whoa!" the twins breathed.
"That's right!" Blendin boasted. "Fifteen years ago, there was a costume shop here. Wait here." He vanished again. When he reappeared, he was in his normal suit. However, flames popped up on his clothes in different places. "Ak! Fire! Pat! Pat down!" He patted out the flames on his suit and head.
Ford piped up, "So, who are you, again?"
Blendin took out an ID with his picture and information on it. A green hourglass was on the silver ID. "Blendin, Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty sñeventy-twelve. My Mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are supposed to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired…" He sat down with a heavy sigh.
A bright, sympathetic smile appeared on Stan features. "You know, you sound like you can use a break."
Stan glanced at Ford, who nodded. Sure he knew messing with time was probably dangerous, but Stan was going to do it with or without him, and he had a better chance of surviving with him. Besides Ford really wanted to try it out! "Definitely! How about one of the attractions at the Mystery Fair?" Ford held out two tickets.
"You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it!" Blendin got up and took the tickets from Ford. He started to leave, but then turned his gaze on the two kids. "But I've got my eye on you! " He stopped by a barrel ride. Maria, who was stationed there, looked up at him as he approached. Blendin dropped the tickets into the barrel. "One please."
Maria glanced at Blendin's belt. "I am sorry, but you're going to have to leave your tool belt here. One of your tools might accidently fly off."
Blendin took off his belt and presented it to the woman. "Guard it with your life."
"I have it." Maria clutched the belt. "I will watch it like a hawk." Blendin hopped into one of the barrels. He raised his hands into the air and whooped as the barrels spun and the ride moved. Ford and Stan watched Maria and the belt.
"Is she going to put it down?" Stan prompted.
Ford shook his head. "Nope."
Stan nodded. "Got it. You distract her."
"Okay." Ford walked around to Maria's other side. "Hola, Maria! Look!" He held up Gompers' leash. The baby goat, tuckered out after a day of play, baaed.
Maria looked down at the little guy. "Oh! He is a cute little thing! What is his name?"
"Gompers," Ford replied, puffing out his chest. "I won him at a quiz booth!"
As they talked, Stan crouched behind the barrel and unhooked the measuring tape from the belt. He gave Ford the thumbs up and backed away.
Maria petted Gompers on the head. The goat half-heartedly nibbled on her sleeve. "How old is he?"
Ford shrugged. "I don't know. But he's a baby. He's also tired. So, I should put him to bed."
Maria stood up straight. "That is a good idea. Buenas noches, Ford!"
"Adiós!" Ford said before running off to catch up with Stan, moments later they were in the Shack sitting around the kitchen table. Gompers got to sit down in his own chair next to Ford. Stan set the time tape on the table. "Okay. Here it is! Our ticket into history!"
Ford bit his lip. "We should really be smart about this, okay? What if we mess something up in history?"
Stan sighed. "Look. All I'm gunna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that baseball throw, I won't hit Susan in the eye, and Cooper won't comfort her, and they won't start going out."
"If they're going out." Ford corrected him.
"Hey are you in or not?" Stan questioned.
Ford looked down at Gompers and smiled. "I guess I could win Gompers again." Gompers nuzzled him. "After all, there's no way I'm letting you on this time travel adventure without me!"
"I wouldn't have it any other way, bro!" Stan took out the tape and extended it until it said "6 hours". "See you later," he said to Gompers.
Ford smirked. "See you earlier!" he corrected him.
Stan let go of the tape and raised his hand. Ford high-sixed him. The both of them froze. Gompers, startled, knocked over a deck of cards and bounced away. Time slowed down until, finally, it froze. Just as Buddy spotted them from the window outside. He thinks about running it, to tell Stan what really happened but then he and everything else begins to run backwards as they Time traveled back until the noon sun glowed over them.
Ford and Stan laughed. Ford gasped as a puff of fire burned Part of his jacket. He patted it out. The twins looked at each other and raced outside. The midday sun blazed overhead.
"It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open!" Grauntie Mabel called through the megaphone. The crowd shuttered and put their hands over their ears as the megaphone screeched. Grauntie Mabel continued, "Step right up and dunk me folks!"
Stan and Ford looked at each other, grins wide and eyes bright. "Do over?" Stan prompted.
"Do over!" Ford agreed. The twins ran their separate ways neither of them knowing how much of the future they had just messed up.
Author's Notes: Tune in next week to find out what happens next! Thanks again for reading and please review!
Yours Truly, RoxieDivine ;)