Author's Note: okay so I decided to divide this episode into three parts as usual. Instead of doing separate one episode shorts.
Thanks for reading and please review.
-Yours Truly, RoxieDivine
Season 2 Episode 3: The Bottomless Pit!
Episode Summary: The Pines, Ria, Heather, and Fids all get thrown into a bottomless pit where they assume, they will fall forever. To pass the time they tell each other stories.
Disclaimers: I do not own Gravity Falls or the Relativity Falls AU idea.
The Bottomless Pit! (Part 1)
It was another beautiful day in Gravity Falls and as always there was much to do. Usually, the days task would involve helping tourist or restocking the Mystery Shack, but today Mabel said they needed to get rid of some things, and she knew the place to do it.
Of course, Ford was quick to point out how shady that sounded. Regardless Mabel had instructed that they all climb aboard the golf cart because: "Time was a wasting!"
So, Mabel was driving the golf cart. On board were the twins, Heather, Fids, and Ria each of them held several boxes of items. All but Heather who had a large black truck that was chained closed. Mabel skidded to a stop next to a giant hole. She stepped off the golf cart, leading the others towards said hole.
"In this land of ours, there are many great pits," Mabel began, "but none are more bottomless than the Bottomless Pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless."
"Question, is it bottomless?" Ria asked.
"Kids, can one of you try explaining this to Ria?" Mabel asked.
"Bottomless means no bottom," Heather said.
"Grauntie Mabel, why are we here again?" Ford asked.
"To dispose of things we don't want," Mabel smiled. "Goodbye, creepy old love letters from Gideon!" Mabel said, dropping the letters and presents over the edge. "Die, die!"
Stan made a motion to barf. "You mean you and Mr. Gleeful were…." He couldn't even finish the thought.
"Wow you're just now figuring that out?" Heather laughed as she tossed a handful of candy into the pit. "Goodbye old loser candy!"
Of course, They all knew this. Buddy had admitted the breakup between Mabel and Gideon had fueled the entire family feud between them. Still, it was gross to think about.
"Wait she broke up with him years ago." Ford realized.
"Yeah, so what?" Heather asked.
"Why does she still have them?" Ford asked.
Everyone looked at Mabel…stunned.
Mabel blushed, "What He's good at poetry."
Stan shrugged and dumped a box into the pit "So long, unused Mystery Shack suggestion cards,"
"See ya never, failed inventions," Fids tossed the broken machinery into the hole.
Ria took off her shoes, flinging them into the pit.
"What are you doing?" Ford asked the woman.
"Throwing stuff," she answered simply. "Everybody's doing it."
Ford's eyes widen as he realized something. "Wait isn't this littering!?"
"Is it littering when there is no bottom?" Heather asked as she pushed a large, chained box into the pit.
"What's, that?" Stan asked.
"Oh, just my personal box of mysterious secrets," Heather answered. "Nothing worth wondering about."
Stan watched it disappear in dismay. "Man, now I really want to know."
Ford shivered as the wind picked up. "Trust me it's a good thing you don't remember."
"Wait what?" Stan asked.
"Nothing!" Ford exclaimed. "Hey, Grauntie Mabel, do I really have to be the one to point out that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?" Ford asked, trying to change the subject.
"Just let us have fun, jeez," Heather rolled her eyes. The wind picked up even more, blowing hard against the group of friends.
"Oh no! It's some kind of invisible pushing force!" Ria yelled, shielding herself against the wind.
"It's called wind, Ria," Fids said.
"Come on, let's get back to the shack!" Ford yelled over the wind. They ran back to the cart, except for Stan. He stayed by the pit; the suggestion cards had thrown started flying back up. He tried to throw the cards back into the pit, but they kept blowing back at him.
"I'm not done getting rid of these!" Stan cried.
"Stan!" Heather yelled.
The cards blew back to cover Stan's face.
"Stanley, no!" Mabel cried as he began to lose his balance. Everyone ran to his aid as he fell over. Ford grabbed his brother's hand just intime and the others tried to help pull him out of the pit, but Stan is too busy flailing around to help.
Ford's grip ended up slipping, and with a big gush of wind everyone fell into the pit, screaming. Waddles oinked nearby.
Down in the pit, the six friends screamed for a time. They then stopped, looking around.
"So, anyone want to keep screaming?" Ria asked.
"Where in tarnation are, we?" Fids asked, looking around. Mabel cracked a glow stick, making it light up.
"It's somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere," she mused. She let the glow stick fall up, the string catching on her arm. She giggled.
"We have to land on something eventually," Ford said. "Could be any second now!"
The group braced themselves, but nothing happened.
"Well, I guess we're in here for a while," Stan said. "Who wants to see some card tricks?"
He pulled out a pack of cards. He attempted to fold them and do a trick, but they flew upwards when he shuffled them. He watched them for a minute before waving his hands.
"Ta-da!" Stan smiled. Mabel clapped for him.
"Hey, maybe we should pass time by telling stories," Ria suggested.
"Ooh, I'm good at that!" Heather smiled proudly. "I'm a great writer!"
"I've got a story," Ford began bitterly. "It's called the time Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit where we spent the rest of our natural lives!"
"Go on..." Ria encouraged.
"C'mon Ford, you can do better than that," Fids said.
"Fine," Ford said, taking the glow stick. "I'll tell you a story. A story I'd like to call 'Voice Over.'"
(1 Week Ago…)
"Ready?" Stan said. He, Heather, Fids, Ria, and Danny were in the front yard. Gompers was laying on the ground in the middle on their circle.
"Spin the goat!" The friends cheered as they spun Gompers. He stopped, pointing at Mabel, who was reading the newspaper on the porch.
"Hey, Grauntie Mabel!" Stan called. "Ever kissed a goat before?"
"I'm not gonna answer that," Mabel said. Ford ran up, holding his arm. On his forearm were two small, red dots.
"Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake!" Ford panicked. "I need you to get me to a hospital quIIIICK!"
Mabel started laughing, rocking back in her chair.
"What? What's so funny?" Ford asked, rubbing his arm.
"I'm sorry, but it's hard to take you seriously with the squeaky puberty voice you have," Mabel laughed.
"My what?" Ford frowned.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Ford," Stan said. "Your voice is hiLARioUS!"
"Are you saying my voice cracks?" Ford asked, evidently offended. "My voice doesn't crack."
"Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it," Heather said. Ria pulled out a recorder and pressed play.
"Nice to meet you. My name's Stanford PINES, P-P-Pines, Pines, Pines Nice to meet you. P-p-pines, Pines, Pines."
"Do I really sound like that?" Ford blushed.
"Heh, hate to break it to ya Ford, but ya do," Fids smiled sheepishly.
"Oh, here comes my favorite part!" Danny said.
"StOP it gUYSs!"
Everyone except for Ford laughed.
"Give me that!" Ford snapped. He snatched the recorder from Ria and ran off. The friends turned their attention back to their game, "Spin the goat! Spin the goat!"
(Following Ford…)
Ford sighed, walking along the sidewalk. His hands were buried deep in his pockets.
"Even my sighs sound weird," He voiced. He heard someone behind him and turned around. Fids ran up to him, panting.
"Ford, I-" Fids panted, placing his hands on his knees. "Ah think I might be able to help ye with your voice problem."
"Wha- really?" Ford said excitedly.
"Yeah, come on," Fids said. "Follow me."
Ford followed Fids to the dump of all places and now Fids was digging around in the empty hood of a car. Well, sort of empty. Instead of the usual engine, inside the hood was a different machine.
"Let's see, over there. No, not that one," Fids murmured.
"Fids, why do you work in the dump?" Ford asked, looking around.
"Oh, well, it's easy to get parts, fer one," Fids began, " My Dad had me come here to help him get some car parts on the third day we got here." He explained. "I've been using it for my inventions ever since. No one usually comes here 'cept for Crazy Chiu. But she dons' bother me much." He pulled out a vile filled with a green liquid. "Ah, here it is."
"This will really change my voice?" Ford asked.
Fids shrugged. "Crazy Chu made it, so I'd be careful if I was you." He warned. "Apparently she used to come here for old parts all the time, and she ended up helping me with some stuff and even made her own contraptions."
"Anything is better than my voice now." Ford said and drunk the potion.
"Heh, anything fer you, Ford..." Fids said quietly. "The effects won't take place until morning." He revealed, "Let's head back."
Ford nodded and the two friends returned to the Shack.
(The Next Day…)
Ford woke up in his bed. He sat up, stretching and yawning.
"Good morning…" he spoke with a new, deep voice. He gasped. "I did it! I diiid it! Now I have a neeew voice!" He ran over to Stan's bed on the opposite side of the room. "Good morning, Stan. Who's my favorite brother?"
"AHHH!" Stan screamed upon awakening. He started hitting Ford over the head with a golf club. "Who are you?! What have you done with my brother?! Ford! I'll save you from this body-switching warlock!"
"Stan, it's me!" Ford cried. "This is my new voice. I sound awesome. Souuund aweeesome."
"I know our voices are supposed to change, but this is weird," Stan frowned. "Weird and bad."
"But Stan, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me!" Ford defended. "And just think of the prank calls."
He picked up the phone nearby and dialed a number.
"Hello?" The man on the other end answered.
"Hello, this is the President of the United States of America. I am calling to tell you-" Ford blew a raspberry into the receiver.
"What? Who is this?!" The man yelled.
Ford laughed and hung up. "Magnificent!"
"Stan no like," Stan shook his head.
After they got dressed, the twins walked downstairs into the gift shop. Ria was standing behind the register, while Fids and Heather sat nearby.
"How you diddly-doing, guys?" Ford asked. Ria grabbed a broom, chasing him around.
"Kill it! Kill it with fire!" She yelled. "Everybody flee!"
The tourists screamed, running out the door.
"What gives, Ria?!" Ford cried. The woman stopped hitting him with the broom. "You guys all made fun of my old voice."
"Well, at least then you sounded like a real person," Heather said.
"Yeah, now you sound like some weird commercial dude," Ria agreed.
"How- oh man," Fids suddenly looked worried. "I got to go check something." He ran out the door.
"I'll find Mabel," Ford said. "She'll like my new voice. You'll see. I'll be right back after these messages! I mean... goodbye." He raced outside.
Ford walked downtown, searching around and calling out for Mabel.
"Grauntie Mabel! Grauntie Mabel!" He yelled. He passed by Skull Fracture. "Where are you, Grauntie Mabel?!"
"Hey, I know that voice!" The guard yelled. "You're the guy that prank called me earlier!"
"What? No, I'm not!" Ford denied. "I'm just a thirteen-year-old boy."
"You expect me to believe that?!" The guard yelled. "You crazy-voiced punk!"
"Wait, no!" Ford cried, running off. "Aeeeee!"
"There's a prank caller on the loose!" The guard announced to the bar inside. "Let's get him!"
The people inside agreed angrily, following the guard in his chase for Ford. He ran down the sidewalk, diving into the hole in the fence that led him back to the junk yard from before.
"Escaaaape!" He yelled. The angry mob passed right by him. He walked up to Fids, who was digging around in the car hood once more. "Fids! Your invention was a total disaster!"
"I know, I know," Fids sighed, his face red. "I told that crazy woman to label these things."
"Stan didn't recognize me," Ford said. He started to sob. "I even sound ridiculous when I cry-y-y!"
"Uh oh. Ford, d-don' cry," Fids frowned, trying to comfort the boy. "Ah hate seeing ya upset. Look, I-I just got the wrong one! That one is fer voice over professionals. I got a better one right here."
He turned to continue searching through the car.
"Phew, good," Ford sighed, relieved.
"It's a good thin' ye got here just in time," Fids smiled over his shoulder, somewhat sadly. "Come sunset, ya'd have gone back to yer, eh, old voice."
"It was pretty ridiculous, wasn't it?" Ford sighed, holding up the recorder.
"Actually, if I'm bein' honest, I didn' think so," Fids said, not looking at Ford. "I mean sure it cracks, mine use to, too. But it's your voice, it's part of your identity. It makes you unique."
"You really think so?" Ford asked.
"Yeah. I liked it," Fids smiled softly, handing Ford a new vile. "Uh, h-here. This one should work. An' it should be, um, permanent."
"You're really letting me have this?" Ford asked, looking at the red liquid. "I thought you liked my old voice."
"I'm your friend Stanford." Fids said. "I want you to be happy."
Ford looked at the vile. He took a deep breath and prepared to drink the liquid inside.
(Later…)
Back at the shack, Ria, Stan, and Heather, were watching TV in the living room. Fids and Ford walked in.
Ford took a deep breath. "HeY guYS," he waved, speaking in his normal voice.
"Ford!" Stan said happily.
"Chico, you're back!" Ria smiled.
"I gave him a choice of a new potion. but he didn't drink it." Fids explained.
"So that's what happened." Heather laughed. "I thought it sounded unnatural."
"Yeah, well, I guess I realized that even though my voice may not be perfect, it's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything," Ford smiled. "Not even for whatever was in this new vial."
He held up the empty vial.
"So, what did you do with the rest of that potion?" Heather asked.
"I dumped it in Mabel's coffee," Ford snickered. "That will teach her to feed us glitter cookies."
Mabel walked in, holding a cup of coffee.
"Any of you kids seem my girdle?" Mabel asked with a Valley girl voice. "Where my girdle at?"
The kids and Ria laughed.
"What? What's so funny?" Mabel asked. "I'm Grauntie May-bel! Kids these days. Laughing at their Grauntie."
-To Be Continued