Words (Chapter 5): 2,052
Author's Notes: Evidently, you can do hours and hours of research on prenups and still be confused as frick about them. So, I ask you all to gently invoke your suspension of disbelief and when in doubt, I'll use the excuse of this being a total AU in which your government can force you to marry so maybe prenups are little bit different than the real world? I don't know? This took way too long to write and it's much longer than I intended.
"Wait, so you need a real, legally binding prenup to cover your fake marriage?" Duke asked, watching his brother-in-law bounce his daughter on his lap across the table.
"Basically," Joey agreed, not taking his eyes off the baby cooing up at him. "And I'm not blindly trusting Kaiba, so that's why I was hoping you could grab me a lawyer or something to help me decipher this thing."
He motioned to the stack of papers in the middle of the table, which Duke grabbed the moment he saw Serenity coming over with the mug of hot tea she'd made for Joey. She placed it deliberately out of Faith's reach before taking a seat next to her husband.
"Sorry that I couldn't get you a meeting with one on time, Joey," he said, beginning to read the thing.
"I can't believe he gave you less than two days to read and review a legal document," Serenity spoke, shaking her head.
"I can, and I don't trust him as far as I can throw him," Duke answered, flipping to the second page. "Look, I'm no lawyer, but I've dealt with my fair share of contracts. Is it alright if I go look at this, translate some of the legal jargon and summarize it all for you?"
Joey thought for a moment. He could always reread it himself, and he definitely trusted Duke to not let him get screwed over. "Yeah, thanks." Duke nodded, getting up from the table with a quick kiss to Faith's forehead, who in turn made grabby hands her father didn't see as he walked away.
Joey's heart ached with want.
"How are you feeling?" His sister's soft voice always had a calming effect on him.
He watched his niece wrap her hand around his finger when she realized she couldn't grab her dad, and he smiled as she immediately tried to bring it towards her mouth. "Eh. This whole thing blo—stinks."
Serenity giggled at his self-correction. His potty mouth had been pointed out to him numerous times, mostly by their mother, who had suggested he should never speak like a sailor in front of her precious grandbaby. Serenity herself didn't care until Faith could start repeating, but it didn't hurt for him to practice.
"I honestly think I liked it better when I thought there was no one out there for me. It's worse thinking I'm so awful that the person out there for me is Kaiba."
"Hey, every now and then the Matches don't work out. This is what happens when some technological algorithm tries to dictate our love lives."
Joey was reminded of Kaiba's words, rare but not impossible. Hopefully dealing with him for nearly a year wouldn't be impossible.
"That doesn't mean you don't have someone out there for you. You just have to get over this hurdle."
Joey nodded, not really sure what else to say. Somehow, complaining to his sister didn't feel right. "How long do you think he's gonna take reading that over?" he asked.
Serenity just shrugged. "I'm not sure, but don't worry. You're in good hands. He's good at negotiating."
He nodded in reply, watching as Faith grew more frustrated over not being able to get Joey's finger to her mouth on account of him pulling it back. He looked for a neutral topic change, settling on asking Serenity about her role as Maid of Honor in Téa and Yugi's wedding, and handing the baby to his sister so he could drink the cooled-down tea.
Duke came in after not much longer, dropping the prenup on the table. "Alright, I'm done. Overall conclusion, Kaiba could've actually been more of a jerk than he was."
"Here, babe, take my seat. I need to go wash Faith up and put her to bed." As if on cue, the baby yawned, starting to rub her face into Serenity's shirt. The mother in question got up, moving towards Joey. "Say goodnight to Uncle Joey."
Joey stood for a moment, kissing her on her forehead. "Goodnight, sweet princess." When he was done, Duke, who'd put the prenup back on the table, said his own goodnights, making the baby giggle. Joey bit his lip and looked away, suddenly feeling like an intruder.
"So, not that much of a jerk, huh?" Joey asked, flipping through the prenup and the added post-it notes that littered the pages. "That include the fact that he actually put in a clause for if I cheat on the bastard?"
Duke chuckled, which caused Joey to look up before his brother-in-law leant over the table, finding a different clause. "He also put one that takes care of you, if he ends up cheating."
Joey's eyes widened as he read the clause, Duke's notes scribbled on the post-it underneath. Kaiba could've very easily have pointed that out earlier in his office, but of course he'd taken the opportunity to make a dig at Joey's love life instead. "Oh."
"I was expecting this to be a lot less fair than it is. Honestly, I'm a little impressed." There was a moment of quiet between the two before Duke brought up another point. "What are you going to tell everyone?"
Joey's face scrunched up as he groaned. "I hadn't even thought about all that yet. Do me a favor and just keep this between us?"
Duke nodded. "Of course." He held up his phone, shaking it. "I'm not planning to be the one who bursts Tristan's little lovestruck bubble. You get the honors on that one."
Joey, who hadn't even been paying attention to his phone, took it out of his pocket to check their group chat. Téa had asked Tristan how the date was going, to which he replied only with a series of heart-eyes emojis. Glad someone's Match was working out well so far, Joey thought, before his eyes caught the time on the clock. He still hadn't even eaten anything since getting out of work, and he really did want to read over the prenup in the quiet of his own apartment.
"Alright, I gotta jet. Thanks again, Duke, I'll find a way to pay you back." He got up as the sentence came out of his mouth, and not a millisecond later, Duke had an answer.
"Babysitting. Please, god, let it be babysitting."
Joey nearly doubled over at how quick the answer came out. "Deal. Just tell me when."
Joey's guilt hit him like a ton of bricks when he stepped through his apartment door and his dog ran up to him. He knelt down to pet her, getting himself a few licks on his face. "Ah, sorry, girl. I know, I was gone so long and didn't even leave you food…" He stood back up, putting the pile of mail and the prenup on the kitchen table. He'd deal with all of it in the morning.
In the meantime, he needed to put food in his dog's bowl and his own stomach. Preferably, different food.
The next morning was, thankfully, a day off. After feeding Lady Luck her breakfast, he ate his own – a stack of waffles and a cup of coffee – and he took her for her morning walk, grabbing a second coffee from a café on his way back. He knew he needed to be on high alert reading through the prenup.
He set himself up at the table where he'd dumped everything the night before, and the pomsky immediately settled herself next to his seat with a ball she liked chewing on. "Alright, Lady, what do you say we read Daddy's new prenup?" Lady barked in answer and Joey laughed, knowing she had no idea what he'd just said.
First major point, anything Kaiba owned before the marriage was off limits for Joey to try to go after. Duke's note underneath stated that this was, 'Fair – usually goes without saying but he's covering his ass' which made Joey almost laugh again. Of course, Kaiba was covering his ass, when didn't he?
The second major point discussed alimony and division of assets obtained during their marriage. Duke had doodled a thumbs up on the post-it next to this, with the note, 'Enough to keep you comfortable.' When Joey removed the post-it and read the breakdown for himself, he shook his head. Comfortable was where he was now, without any help from Kaiba, compared to how he'd grown up with his parents. He took a beat, remembering what Duke had grown up with and why his idea of comfortable was probably a little skewed.
He took a sip of his coffee and thought it over. Part of him really didn't want to be living off of Seto Kaiba's money for the rest of his life, and that part really wanted to fight this part of the prenup. The other part of him argued that that'd be a stupid hill to die on, when he's being offered free money to – to what? Fake a marriage? Technically, they were conspiring to break a law here, so didn't he deserve compensation for his efforts? Or was he basically selling his body in the form of this marriage, faking it for half a year just to get paid monthly afterwards?
He wished more than anything that he could talk to someone level-headed like Yugi or who'd grown up almost as rough as he did like Tristan to get their advice, but the thought of having to admit this situation to his friends – the Match and the prenup and the sham marriage – was not appealing, at least not until he knew for sure how everything was going down. Eventually, he talked himself into accepting the number on the page, seeing as Kaiba had already agreed to it knowing full well that this was the ending they'd have to deal with. Besides, this prenup could end up null and void if he succeeded in getting out of the decree in the first place.
He continued down the contract, reading it himself and more-or-less just agreeing with whatever note Duke had made, which surprisingly was almost all positive. He wondered if Kaiba really had come up with all the stipulations himself or if someone else deserved the credit. Joey nearly choked on his coffee when he read the parts that covered if Kaiba died. He really did think of everything to make this real.
'As per his will,' it had stated, going on to mention Mokuba and him would get a nearly even split, with Mokuba's just a few percentage points higher. The latter part made sense, that he'd made sure Mokuba was taken care of over everything, but Joey had to stare at the words to realize this meant that Kaiba not only had a will, but would be updating it when they got married. He was incredibly thankful that Duke's post-it covered the majority of the sentence that had started, 'In the event of children…' reading instead, 'Make sure when you kill him, it looks like an accident, or this won't hold up.' Sometimes Duke was funny. Sometimes.
Finally, he got to the points regarding infidelity, half tempted to just ask Kaiba to take them out because this was stupid. He was sure they could both keep it in their pants for six months. But then he remembered that this wasn't supposed to be a marriage that only lasted six months, at least not in the eyes of the law, and he read on. If Joey cheated, he got nothing. Nada. Zip. He rolled his eyes, not even reading the post-it Duke had written. Sure, he could agree to that. Then he got to the other way around, eyes practically bulging at the settlement he'd get if Kaiba were unfaithful, along with the house.
He shook his head, thinking once again how ridiculous this situation was, and grabbing a notepad he kept on his table for grocery lists or quick important notes, and took the time to jot down issues and questions he had that weren't necessarily legally related to the prenup. When he was satisfied, he read it over one last time and nodded to himself.
Joey really didn't want to have to do this, but if it turned out that he did – he was ready. He could survive being married to Kaiba. He thought.
Author's Notes: Me in the shower: Okay, yeah, so the points in the prenup that are gonna be important are this, this, and this... Me actually writing: Uh, what were they again? Also, in Super Rich Kids and Legally Blond, I make Duke such an ass that I'm glad I made him a good guy this time. I really do love him, so in this chapter, you got really cute, good husband/brother-in-law/dad Duke.