Ooh boy here we are again. Now with chapter 17! Woo! We are moving along nicely here. So let's get right to it!
Ch.17
Cloud started to stir slightly as he moved his body, though as he turned, he could feel that he was a bit sore. He really did not want to get up though as he felt very tired. His eyes fluttered a few times as he finally managed to open them. His vision was mildly blurred as he tried to raise up from his curled up position. After blinking a few more times, he finally was able to look around to see that he was in his bed. However, he did not remember getting there. As he tried to figure out why he was laying there, it all came back to him.
He remembered curling up on the floor last night after running home. He cried himself to sleep on the cold, hard floor as well. And it was because he had failed to make it into SOLDIER.
Cloud shuddered as the thoughts raced in his mind again, and suddenly the reason for his vision being blurry returned as he could feel tears welling in his eyes again. He just sat on the bed hunched over with his head in his hands. He did not have the strength to move himself further after remembering it all.
Then Cloud suddenly heard another voice, which seemed like it was getting closer to him. "Hey Cloud! You up yet? Probably need to get ready soon."
It was Zack. His brother that he had let down because of his own weakness. His voice didn't sound as upbeat as usual. Did that mean that his brother already knew about what happened and was upset with him? Would he be looked down on now because of his failure? Would their relationship be forever changed by this?
All of these were thoughts that entered into his mind suddenly as footsteps grew closer. Cloud closed his eyes as he did not want to look at his brother. He was too ashamed. Out of the small cracks in his fingers, he saw a shadow come over him. Then he felt a hand land softly on the top of his head.
"Hey, what are you doing just sitting here? You know you fell asleep on the floor last night. I tried to wake you, but you were out, so I just put you back in the bed. Hopefully you're not too sore this morning," he said in a positive manner.
Cloud unclasped his hands from his tear-stained eyes and looked up at Zack, who was smiling down at him. Did this mean Zack did not know what had happened? Surely Zack would not be satisfied with what had happened. If he didn't know, that meant Cloud would have to tell him. He wasn't ready for it though, as he was nervous and scared of what would happen. But, he would rather have Zack find out from him first before anyone else.
"Z-Zack...I'm...I'm sorry…," he trailed off as he sniffled slightly.
Zack's face contorted into a look of surprise. "What do you mean Cloud? What's wrong? You've been crying? It's okay, you know you can tell me."
Those words hit Cloud hard. He knew that his brother always was understanding, but he was worried that this matter would be different. He tried to find the courage to say what he needed to say. He then inhaled sharply.
"I...I failed you. Our dream. Of being SOLDIER...I ruined it."
"Cloud, what makes you say that? You haven't done anything wrong. Look come here," Zack said as he tried to reach out to Cloud.
"No but I did!" Cloud yelled suddenly. He couldn't hold it back anymore. "I failed. I tried for SOLDIER and I didn't make it. I didn't wanna tell you cause I thought you would be disappointed in me. That you would hate me cause I'm a failure. I just wanted to make you proud. To make myself proud. And now...now, I don't know what to do…" he admitted as he collapsed into more drivels.
Zack was still standing there with a look of shock on his face for a brief moment. But then, he sat down next to Cloud and quickly embraced his brother in a tight hug. "Hey, calm down buddy. It's gonna be all right. You have not failed at all. I don't know why you think that. After all, today is the day of the SOLDIER tests anyways."
Cloud tried to make sense of what he just heard. "W-what did you just say? The last part…"
"I said that your SOLDIER test is today. That's why I came to check on you early. I don't want you to be late," Zack said again to Cloud.
"I'm so confused. But, I've already done the tests. And, I didn't pass. How can they be again?"
Zack leaned back from Cloud and thought for a moment. He raised his hands and wiped the tears from Cloud's eyes as he thought about it. Then he figured it out. "I see what happened. You must have had one of those nightmares again huh? It's been a long time since those have affected you though. But I can assure you that you have not failed or anything like that."
"A nightmare? Are...are you sure? But, it happened. I could feel it. It was all so real…" Cloud trailed off, trying his best to keep his composure while still not believing what he was hearing.
"Well, since the trials have not actually happened, then that is all I can assume. I can promise that all that is happening right now is real. The other only felt real."
Cloud stared for a moment before responding. "I know you wouldn't lie to me. So I guess it must be the truth. It's just...hard to believe."
"Yeah, there you go. Try to see it with reason okay? But, you need to get it together. Otherwise, you'll miss your tests," Zack ended sternly, trying to kick Cloud into gear.
"Okay. I don't want that...then it all would really be real. Everything that would have happened there would be true. I...I don't want that."
Zack knew he had to try harder as he gripped Cloud's shoulders and got close to his face. "Look Cloud. Here's something you need to know. Even if something happens that you don't pass, don't fret. I am not going to be upset. Our parents won't be upset. Nobody is going to blame you. Cause you're my brother. I'll love you no matter what happens."
Those words made an impact with Cloud as he could hear the sincerity in Zack's voice. He buried his head in his brother's shoulder and begin to sob again. Not because he was sad, but a feeling of relief washed over him upon hearing all of that. Though, in the back of his mind, something bothered him about how real the dream was. But he pushed those thoughts away for now as he focused on the moment.
"Thanks Zack. You're the best."
"Well of course I am.
Cloud chuckled softly. "Thank you… for saying all of that. You really won't be upset if I don't make SOLDIER though? What about our dream?"
Zack smiled softly as he ruffled Cloud's hair. "As long as you are here with me, I'll be happy. It just makes me happy to know that you are by my side."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You know how lonely I was these past two years without you to talk to? Seeing you again really brightened things up for me. So regardless of what happened today, I know you'll at least stay around."
Cloud wanted to respond again, but he was so overwhelmed from Zack's kind hearted words that he just didn't know what else to say. He smiled at his brother softly as he felt more at ease now over the situation. Maybe he had overreacted to the dream. Maybe he had also been overthinking things. But, it was okay now because he now knew that it was not him at fault and Zack was not mad with him.
Zack then suddenly eased himself back up into a standing positions and stretched slightly. Then, he motioned his hand to Cloud. "Well, come on. We've gotta get you going."
Cloud looked up and then slowly began his exit from the bed as Zack walked out of the room. Cloud stretched for a good bit to relax his body more and to work out the stress he had built up before getting ready. It didn't take long and Cloud was ready to go finally as Zack was waiting for him patiently at the door.
"Hey good you're ready now. We still got time at least so let's go," Zack said casually.
"Right. I hope I'm ready to do this now," Cloud replied with a halfhearted look on his face.
Zack then slapped the back of his shoulders. "It's fine. You'll do okay. Just don't stress."
"I'll try to keep that in mind then. Thanks," Cloud uttered to him. The two of them then started to make their way to the Shinra headquarters after a long morning. The time would soon come for the tests to begin. For real this time.
And this time, Cloud was going to make sure he would pass.
Cloud gripped Zack's arm tightly as they entered into Shinra Headquarters. He didn't speak after they had left, and he still wasn't sure if he even could say anything. He was far too nervous to even think about speaking.
"Hey Cloud, you think you could loosen up your grip? I think any tighter and my arm may fall off," Zack said with a small chuckle.
"Huh?" Cloud asked as he looked to Zack. He quickly loosened his grip and dropped his hand to his side. "Sorry."
"It's okay, your nervous after all. So I understand, but come on, you gotta get ready," Zack said as he gave Cloud a playful shove. "You gotta remember to stay focused. These tests and trials are not easy. But I know you will be able to handle them."
Cloud nodded. He wanted to believe that. He wanted to think he could handle the tests to be in SOLDIER. Not only did he want to think he could, he knew he had to believe that he could. He wasn't going to let his nightmare bother him, even though it was still lingering vividly in his mind.
"So all you have to do is head in that direction and show them your paper and the people running this thing will help with the rest," Zack explained as he pointed in the direction for Cloud to go. "I'll have to wait back out in the lobby though."
"I really wish you could be there for me though," Cloud muttered.
He then felt Zack's hand on his head. Before saying a word, Zack started to ruffle up Cloud's hair. "Well it's something that you have to do on your own. SOLDIERs will sometimes be sent on missions alone, or without anyone they know. So, you need to be prepared to handle that. Come on, you got this buddy."
Cloud inhaled deeply before nodded. "All right. I think… I think I got this then."
"Good. Now, you best get going. I'll be out here when you come to tell me you've made it," he said with a confident smile.
Cloud nodded once again before smiling back at his brother. He then turned around and started to head off to the area he was suppose to go. As he walked, he could feel the uneasiness in his stomach increase. He was still afraid. He was afraid that he would screw up and fail.
Cloud shook his head. "No. I'm not going to fail. I won't. I'm stronger than I think I am, so I can do this."
Cloud finally made it to the area where he handed in his sheet. The worker took it and filed some information into a computer before placing the paper on a stack with many other papers identical to his. The worker then wrote his name down on a tag and handed it out to him.
"Wear this so the officials will know who is who," they said.
Cloud nodded as he took the tag and pinned it to his shirt. He turned to his right and walked a little further until he reached the doors that lead into the training room for new recruits. He took in once last deep breath before he stepped inside.
Once he did he glanced around the room and his head started to ache. He winced his eyes in pain, and it was a familiar pain that he had felt many times before. He tried to gather himself to take a look around since he needed to familiarize himself with his surroundings. Though, when he finally looked, he knew something felt kind of strange.
"I-I know this place. I've been here before. I think? Or maybe I just saw..." he trailed off silently to himself. "Was it in my dream?"
He stood there for a moment and questioned himself and the situation he had found himself a part of. After darting his eyes around each side of the room, he knew he had been in that very room at some point before. He assumed it must have been from his dream he had the night before, as everything around him just seemed too familiar. Even the people watching seemed similar in a way as well.
Was this all just a big coincidence? Or was there some meaning behind all of the recollection he was experiencing? These questions plagued his mind as his head finally started to ease its pain. Cloud shook his head slightly, trying to distance himself from those thoughts he was having. He knew that nothing good would come of thinking in a negatively. And he didn't have time to ponder the mysteries of his mind either. His test would soon begin.
Cloud started going through the physical tests, passing each one with ease. Though as he went along through it all, he still had those lingering thoughts from before. All of this was eerily familiar. Every step he took, every jump he made. Every word said to him by the trials instructors.
It was all too familiar for comfort.
Cloud tried not to let it distract him too much from the tests, as he still needed his full concentration on what he was doing. He kept on going though until he finished the section of trials for one section. After that he was given a small break to relax and prepare himself for the next section of trials and tests.
As Cloud sat off to the side and watched others go through the trials he had just done, he started to think again on the thing that was bothering him most. Every single part of this was familiar. It was the weirdest déjà vu he had ever had. Yet he couldn't just pass it off as a mind trick. He had dreamed this the night before and it felt extremely real. And now here he was again, but this time in the waking world.
"What does it mean?... It can't mean… that my nightmare… is true…" Cloud shuddered at that thought. "No. It can't be that. I won't let it become real. I will prove my nightmare wrong!"
With a brand new surge of confidence Cloud stood back up and walked over to the next area. A fierce determination filled his eyes as he was ready to conquer anything that was thrown at him. He would do better that he did in his dreams. He would show these people what he was truly made of and that he did belong in SOLDIER. He wasn't going to give up.
As Cloud ran through the series of tests he was given, several of the officials watched him carefully. One of them watched Cloud for a few minutes before looking at their files they had on their desk.
"That blond kid over there really has some talent doesn't he? What was his name again?" one of them asked as they tried to find the right file among the many. They also started to look on their computer to see if the information had been updated yet.
"Hmm let's see," the other one said as they "Last name Fair… Cloud Fair."
"Fair? Didn't we have a recruit by that name before?"
"Yes, I think it was about two years ago. There was a…" the worker quickly pulled up some information on their computer. "Here we go. Two years ago a Zack Fair from Gongaga tried out for SOLDIER and passed with flying colors. Looks like Cloud is his younger brother."
"Well no wonder he is showing such promise. If he is really like his older brother, we will for sure have at least one good recruit."
Cloud continued his struggle in the tests, performing as well as he possibly could with every obstacle that was placed him his way. After some more time had passed, the physical tests were finally finished. He breathed a sigh of relief at being done and proceeded to take a short break again. Soon enough though, he was called over for the other half of the tests.
The mental testing is what came next. Though, as much as Cloud had been thinking about his dream that he had, he could not recall having experienced this at all. Maybe he just couldn't remember that part? But, he had recalled every other part of it perfectly. So what would make this part different? As Cloud mulled over the possibilities, he then shuddered as a stray thought entered his mind.
"W-what if this is why I failed in the dream? I remember all the physical tests, but nothing about mental ones. What if my mind isn't strong enough? Would it all have been for nothing? No...I can't let that be the case. I've gotta make sure I pass."
He tried to quit thinking about the what-if scenarios and attempted to focus on the task in front of him. However, he was still slightly worried in the back of his mind. Eventually after all of his thinking, they were ready to begin the mental tests on him. He knew he had to focus hard and relax now. He took in a deep breath as they began the arduous process.
The testing took quite a bit longer than Cloud had expected it would, and he was relieved when it was finally over. He was tired of staying still for so long and needed to stretch now as he then began to do squats. He noticed that the people who tested him had walked away and appeared to be in deep deliberation at this point. His mind started to ramble through everything that could possibly happen.
However, there were really only two outcomes. He would either make SOLDIER or he would not. After a few minutes had passed, he ceased his exercising and then strode over to a chair and took a seat. As he sat there, his mind was still racing and his body reacted similarly as he began to tap his foot impatiently on the floor. Anxiety was filling every fiber of his being. Sweat began to bead around his brow and his hands were quite wet already. But he knew all he could do now was wait.
After much waiting, Cloud was finally directed to stand in front of the testers. He made his way over there and stood firmly at attention as he awaited their decision. He could not help but to bounce back and forth on his feet, swaying slightly with each move.
All of the officials suddenly turned to look at him. Their eyes serious and cold looking. Cloud gulped. Everything that was happening right now seemed eerily familiar. The way they looked at him. Even the way Cloud was swaying felt similar. Cloud tensed up as he waited for them to speak, nervously wondering what would happen.
Finally, the primary director spoke up. "Well… Welcome to SOLDIER kid."
Heh yeah so the last chapter with Cloud trying out, it was all a dream XD But now this was the real time, the big one.
So now the REAL big changes can start to happen now!
Hope you guys all enjoyed this nice long chapter. Thank you all for reading~