Fourth Year
He kept looking at her. It was subtle, but she could feel it. Every time she turned a page in her book, threw her hair over her shoulder so she could lean closer, his eyes flicked over to her. Once she caught his eyes, having lifted her head to take a bite of food, and found herself caught in the swirl of confusion in his grey eyes.
A thud of a book slamming down next to her made her jump, breaking the eye contact in favor of reprimanding her now-laughing friend, June, with a slap upside the head. When she turned back, Malfoy had turned back to his friends, joking with his arm slung around a smug-looking Pansy Parkinson.
A trio of Beauxbaton girls giggled their way past the Slytherins, opting to sit across from Malfoy and effectively blocking him from her sights. Their swishing skirts and pretty smiles easily distracted the boys, even those not at the table they were sitting at.
Amara was brought out of her observations by the clatter of a plate in front of her. A rowdy group of Durmstrangs settled in front of her, faces in various forms of stoic and laughing, a combination she never thought she'd see. One of them struck up conversation with her and June about the most effective way to keep a poker face. June seemed more invested in the conversation; maybe she thought the boy was cute? Amara found her mind wandering, her hand moving across the paper in front in short movements. After a few minutes she felt June's elbow jab into her side, which led to a harsh line streaking across her drawing.
Malfoy's looking at you again, June mouthed, inclining her head to the ever-growing group of Beauxbatons around the bond-haired boy.
Amara shrugged. He had been looking at her all year, but nothing came of it so she didn't show that it affected her. Was he looking for something in particular? For her to spill food all over herself and become a sputtering mess?
The flutter of wings by the ceiling echoed down the hall. Owls swooped down left and right, dropping mails skillfully in the laps of waiting students. Amara eagerly looked up, hoping a letter from her parents would arrive. She was quite surprised when a regal looking barn owl landed in front of her, settling on her empty plate with one leg held out. He was quite insistive, hopping closer to her and giving a little hoot when she didn't make any move to remove his letter.
"Pesky little bugger," Amara muttered as she slowly untied the ribbon and let the letter fall in front of her. After feeding the owl a small piece of toast and watching him fly away, she turned the letter over several times and taking note of the flourished way her name had been written on the front. Before she had a chance to rip the seal, June plucked the letter out of her hands and squealed.
"Amara who is this from?!" June almost fell of the back of the bench in her excitement, saved by one of the Durmstrang students who happened to look over.
"Your guess is as good as mine," Amara replied. She looked around the slowly emptying Great Hall, only to have her eyes drawn to the Slytherins once more, where Malfoy was looking at her curiously. Tilting her head in response, she plucked the letter out of June's hands and shoved it into the depths of her bag, murmuring something about getting to class as she half ran out the Hall.
Grey stone blurred as Amara rushed down to an empty classroom and locked the door behind her. Carefully, she drew out the letter, tracing over the curling letters of her name on the front. It was weird, feeling attention from someone. She spent most of her life learning to blend in and she didn't have any friends. So who was going around writing her letters?
She slid her finger under the edge of the envelope and tore the top open, pulling out the folded parchment inside. A silver bracelet laced with sapphires flew out, twinkling in the bright light from the windows. Using the tip of her wand, she lifted the bracelet up to eye level, her mouth slightly open in awe. She looked down at the letter in her hand, unfolded to display the words: Something for you to wear to the Yule Ball.
Amara ran her fingers over the jewelry lightly, grumbling quietly.
"Well shit, now I guess I have to go to the dumb ball."
~The Yule Ball~
Amara felt silly walking down the staircase after Hermione, who was a total show stopper in her light-blue gown that made her look like she was floating. Tugging self-consciously at the strands of golden-brown hair that framed her face, she glanced down at her wrist where the silver and sapphire bracelet twinkled. She and her mysterious letter writer had exchanged several letters since the original note; his now came straight to her dorm in the middle of the night often dragging her away from her late night book. They were never signed, and he refused to give her his name, only that they weren't in the same house. She tried a tracker spell on his owl but it always wore off-or was spelled away- after leaving the Tower.
"Amara stop thinking and go find yourself a man!" June swung next to her on the arm of the Durmstrang student who had kept her from falling to the floor months ago.
"I don't dance."
"C'mon Mar, you've got to let yourself have some fun every once and a while! It's all just boring stuff with you. Do you even know how to let go?" June accused, poking Amara in the side.
"I do," Amara said, shirking away from June's sharp jabs, "I just don't like having short-haired Hufflepuff shoving me into a pile of gyrating people in a back room of the castle."
June huffed out a breath and pulled on her date's arm. "Well this is a classy party so I'm sure you can find something interesting to you-"
"Well, I thought the food looked pretty good actually."
"-so Trevor and I will see you hopefully sometime on the dance floor."
"Unlikely," Amara snorted, waving the pair off. "Have fun you two. Remember, no sex in public!"
"AMARA STORMWIND I SWEAR TO GOD-" was all June got out before her laughing date dragged her off and Amara slipped away into the crowd.
For the next few hours, Amara leaned against a wall, twisting her bracelet as she scanned the room. Potter and Weasley were slumped into chairs off to the side, their dates looking bored beyond belief on either side of them. She had already talked to Hermione who had somehow both managed to complain and rave about the ball. Then Hermione introduced her to her date, Victor freakin' Krum, causing a temporary binge on Quidditch talk on Amara and Krum's behalf, for which Amara apologized profusely to Hermione after.
The ball began winding down not long after that, so Amara pushed off the wall and started the long trek back to the Ravenclaw Tower. She had just started up a moving staircase when a large hand wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her back into a dark hallway. Squirming, she managed to free herself and twisted around, fist aiming for her attacker's nose. Before it reached its destination, however, the attacker caught her wrist, so Amara buried her other fist into the attacker's stomach. Her wrist was released and she fluidly took three steps back, feeling a little silly for standing in a fighting stance while in full makeup and dress as her attacker wheezed in the shadows.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Is that any way to treat an admirer?" her attacker asked, moving from the shadows to the light, leaning slightly against the wall as he continued to normalize his breathing.
He was a Durmstrang student for sure, with thick, dark hair and stone-cut features. His thick accent was also a dead giveaway. He looked familiar, though after a while all the Durmstrang males blended together and looked the same to her. When he mentioned being her admirer, her eyes shot down to the glinting bracelet she was wearing.
"Do I know you?" she asked, relaxing slightly, but still ready to lash out should he ask for it.
"Not particularly, but that's something that could change." He gave her a smile and gestured to her wrist. "I see you like my gift?"
She twisted the jewelry in question, sparing a glance down to it before looking back up in disbelief.
"You sent this to me?"
"Well of course, who else?"
"I don't know." Amara shrugged. "Maybe someone I actually know? It's an expensive piece, I don't understand why someone like you would give it away to practically a complete stranger."
He took a small step forward. "As I said, I have admired from afar. My name is Alexi."
Amara looked at his outstretched hand, confused. "Amara," she replied, without moving. "and I really wish to go to bed so…"
"Ah, yes, I am sorry to disturb your path to bed," he replied formally, bowing slightly. "I will see you later, no? In the meal room, the, oh what is it called, the Great Hall?"
"Um, yes, I guess," Amara stuttered out. "Well, uh, good night?"
She turned quickly and ran the rest of the way back to the Tower, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
For the next few weeks Alexi sat with her and June at every meal. Behind closed doors June was squealing with joy, so happy someone was giving Amara some sort of romantic attention. Amara was still a little thrown off, for Alexi wasn't at all who she pictured behind the letters that she had been sent. His way of speaking didn't match what he claimed to write, though that could be contributed to the fact that people act different in person, for there isn't as much time to think about one says. Something was off, she could feel it. But the proof was there; once Alexi had revealed himself, in a very creepy and scary way at that, the letters had stopped. Their written conversations had never revealed his name, looks, anything that would reveal his identity.
Alexi was two years older than her and June, an avid Quidditch fan even though he didn't play himself. He had thick, dark hair, cut short on the sides and swept to the side so it wouldn't fall in his blue eyes. He lived with his aunt and uncle and refused to talk about his parents. While polite, there was an edge to his voice that unsettled Amara slightly.
One day when she was walking to the library from Potions class he appeared beside her without warning. She jumped, stifling a scream as he chuckled quietly. She gave him a stiff smile before they dived into a polite conversation, and by the time they had reached the library she was considerably more relaxed, smiling and laughing full heartedly. She walked to her normal table, setting down her bag as Alexi made himself comfortable in the seat next to hers. As she pulled out books for her Transfiguration homework, Amara realized she was missing one key book and excused herself to begin browsing the tall shelves for what she needed. She breezed by one stack in particular and did a double take when a pair of stormy grey eyes met with hers. She could have sworn that, for one second, Draco Malfoy's eyes had softened, but it was over too quickly to tell. After giving the Slytherin a polite nod, she moved on.
Ten minutes later, she was leaning against a bookshelf, a stack of books on either side of her as she leafed through one on her outstretched legs.
"Ah, so this is where you have wondered off to. And here I thought you were abandoning me." Alexi stood in front of her, a coy smile playing on his lips as he looked down at her. "So this is what my little bookworm does when she gets to the library?"
Amara blinked. "What else is there to do in a library?" she asked.
In the blink of eye, Alexi's smile turned sinister, his blue eyes, icy. "Oh there are many things." He knelt over her legs, effectively trapping her. A flick of his wand sent hers skittering away as his other hand fell heavily on her thigh, toying with the edge of her skirt.
"You know," he started, his eyes darting down to the book in front of her, "I do not think I have met any girl as innocent as you that manages to know how throw a punch as good as any man. It's a real turn on."
Amara's hands balled into fists, a movement that did not go unnoticed by Alexi.
"Ah, ah, ah," he chided, hitting her with a small stinging hex as if to remind her who was in charge. "You have been a big tease to me, Amara. I think I would like to move our relationship forward."
With those words he moved forward, smashing his lips against hers. Their teeth clashed and he bit her lower lip as he ruthlessly dominated her. Amara turned her head to the side as soon as she could, her cheeks heated in rage and disbelief and her eyes screwed shut.
"Get off me," she whispered harshly.
Alexi laughed, loudly. "No one can see or hear us, I've cast silencing and disillusion charms in the entrance. So who," he pulled sharply at the front of her shirt so she could see the vicious glint in his eyes, "is going to stop me?"
"I said," Amara hissed, trying to pull out of his grasp, "let. Me. GO!"
A rush went through her system, and suddenly her wand was back in her grasp, flinging a Bat Bogey hex that Alexi barely managed to dodge. While he was off balance, Amara threw a right hook, catching the Durmstrang's cheek and whipping his head to the side. She took his moment of shock to break away, stumbling to her feet. Adrenaline began coursing through her system which numbed the pain in her hand. Her breaths came out as short pants as Alexi laughed madly, softly at first then growing in volume.
"Oh I knew I would get some fun out of you," he grinned, "Miss Nose-Stuck-in-a-Book, Miss Innocent, Miss Holier-Than-Thou. They didn't believe I could do it, but it was almost too easy!" He swiped the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood from a split lip across his face.
She was scared. Alexi was blocking her only exit and looked like a maniac, but she could not let him see how she felt. It would only excite him more.
"Let me out," she growled. "Let me go and I'll never speak a word of this to anyone."
"But Amara, dearest, I'm not done with you yet."
He took a step in her direction, eyes and teeth flashing when she matched him with one step back.
"I believe she asked you to leave her alone."
Amara had never been happier to hear someone else's voice on the other side of the bookshelves. Alexi's eyes darkened in anger and disappointment. He turned to face the newcomer, blocking Amara's view of her savior as he held out his hands.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said politely. "My friend Amara and I were just talking-"
"My arse you were talking, it sounded like a threat to me."
"Amara, tell this boy that you and I were just fooling around, there's really no reason to get upset." As Alexi started turning to face her again, she lifted her wand and sneered "Petrificus Totalus," watching his body stiffen to a board and fall to the carpeted ground with a muted thud.
She stepped around Alexi quickly, planning to mutter a quick thank you to her savior before gathering her possessions and hightailing it to her nice, comfy dorm bed where she could freak out alone. Her plans came to a stuttering halt when she saw her savior was none other than Draco Malfoy.
After the Yule Ball many things had changed. June had told her all she would have to do was say the word and she would have Trevor beat up Alexi. They hung out more, just the two of them, as the sight of the Durmstrang males made Amara extremely uncomfortable. When she wasn't with June or in classes, she found herself hunting the library tables for a pair of familiar grey eyes. When she found them and the Slytherin to whom they belonged, she sat down next to him without a word and pulled out her homework. They started out in silence, occasionally broken when she would ask him a question about a saying or an ingredient. Eventually she worked her way up to having full conversations with him, though whenever someone walked by he would lapse back into silence, studiously ignoring her.
By the end of the year she could comfortably say they were friends. On a trip down to the lake she got him to laugh with a stupid dad joke; his eyes had lit up and crinkled as he laughed full-heartedly, encouraging her own chuckle as her blue scarf whipped next to and behind her head. They fell into a rhythm, partnering together in Charms and Transfiguration, doing homework together, suggesting books. In the middle of exams, for the first time, Amara found herself skipping studying. Unable to concentrate, she snagged her new camera from her bag and made her way to the forest line by the lake. Demon, now a much larger black cat, wove his way between her legs before following her lead.
She sat at the water's edge, her camera around her neck and Demon running around her, waiting for the sun to come out from behind a cloud so she could capture the glistening water. When she was satisfied with the results, Amara stood, calling her cat to her, and began her trek back to her room when she spotted a fair-haired boy sitting beneath a tree, staring moodily into the distance.
He was surprised when she dropped down next to him, leaning against the rough tree bark and smiling as the sun warmed her face. There was a comfortable silence, filled with her presence, bringing peace and a tint of happiness to the gloom he dreaded approached the one place he really considered to be home.
Fifth Year
They had kept in touch over the summer, sparingly, but enough to establish presence in each other's lives. She sent him pictures of her adventures with her parents, hiking, kayaking, biking; he complained of his old fashioned parents and small friend group. Upon returning to Platform 9 and ¾, she found herself looking for his white-blond hair before boarding, but she couldn't find him. It wasn't until everyone was seated at the house tables that she first saw him.
He looked haunted. That was the only way for her to describe it. He laughed and joked with his friends, but his eyes didn't light up all the way. His smile looked forced. He glanced at her, and in that moment she saw a hint of his full smile, a breath of relief. She smiled and gave a small wave before turning to watch the new first years be sorted and hear Dumbledore's announcements.
Weeks passed. She found herself hating the new DADA teacher, Umbridge, for she taught nothing useful. There was no more practice in the class. It was meticulous, boring, mind-numbing. Draco barely spoke with her, but she could not figure out why. He almost exclusively owled her, something that made her feel sad. Like she had only the ghost of a friend.
As the year went on, Umbridge continued to overtake the school. New rules had students grumbling in the halls, her hatred toward Harry Potter singled her out; yes, Snape hated the boy, but at least he had reasons, even if they were unclear, for hating the Boy Who Lived. Then Dumbledore disappeared. Draco joined the Inquisitorial Squad, and Amara saw even less of him. But he always looked tired. She never failed to notice that. So she took it upon herself to send him his favorite sweets at night, adding a small card with a flourished A on it. He'd give her a smile the next morning, and if she was lucky enough to be caught alone with him she would get a real smile and a thank you.
Then things began to really spiral. She joined Harry and Hermione's Dumbledore's Army, if nothing but to learn useful spells. She finally conquered the Patronus charm, smiling happily as a bright wolf burst from the silver mist. At night, she'd curl up with Demon and wait until the early hours of the morning to see if Draco would write to her.
She was almost always disappointed.
June pined over her lost love, Trevor, until she found herself a nice sixth year Gryffindor to latch onto, and Amara began to see her less and less between classes and at meals. Amara threw herself into her classes, Quidditch, and Dumbledore's Army. Occasionally she helped the Weasley twins come up with new items. Any letters she received from Draco were left unopened in a drawer by her bed; not that there were many of them. She hid in the library among the books, putting effort in to avoid any Slytherins.
The snake attack on Arthur Weasley circulated the school. More people began to believe Potter about Voldemort returning, only to be squashed by Umbridge's twittering but demanding voice saying otherwise.
Amara felt drained. She didn't know why, but her feet dragged on her way back to her dorm as she thought about how much she dreaded going the DA meeting later that night. As she made her way through the corridors on the third floor, she found the sleeve of her robes being caught and dragged toward a dimly lit portion of the hall. She caught a glimpse of pale hair and fought to free herself, feeling angry that Draco Malfoy of all people thought he had any right to drag her anywhere.
"Stop wriggling," he hissed, looking up and down the corridor as if he was scared to be seen talking to her.
"Let me go!" Amara hissed back, tugging sharply against where his hand had fisted itself in her robes.
"You need to listen to me," Draco said pleadingly, a tone she did not akin to him when he let go of her robes.
"And why in the world would I do that," Amara snapped back, crossing her arms in front of her. "I haven't had so much as three sentences together from you all year and now you want to talk?"
"You can't go to the DA meeting tonight," he whispered hurriedly, taking her shoulders into his hands and making sure she was looking right at him.
Her eyes widened briefly in fear of what he said before she brought her walls back up.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said stiffly.
Draco brought one hand up to run it through his hair nervously, letting out a small groan. It was then Amara saw just how keyed up he was; his movements lacked their usual grace, his face was tense, and his eyes kept darting around. His hair was a mop on top of his head, unkempt from the number of times he had run his hands through it. Before she could process what she was doing, Amara found herself reaching up and fixing his hair, parting it to one side before trailing her hand back down the side of his face and meeting his conflicted grey eyes.
She took a step back and muttered a short apology while looking at her shoes.
"You can't go tonight," he whispered hoarsely. "It's not safe."
Her eyes snapped back to his, her mouth open to say she could do whatever the hell she wanted, but nothing came out. He took a step towards her and she didn't move, a sign he took as to go on. His hand twitched at his side, as if he wanted to reach out to her.
The haunted look in his eyes was back. She searched his face as if it would answer all of her questions.
Why did he stop talking to her? Was she a bad friend? Did he hate her?
"Far from it, Mara."
Shit, she must have said that last one out loud. His eyes were dangerous; she turned her gaze back to the stone floors.
His hand on the side of her face, his thumb rubbing small circles on her temple, had her closing her eyes with a sigh. She slowly brought her gaze back to his, to find him looking at her with a sad smile. A noise down the hall startled the both of them, Draco's hand hastily retreating as his head snapped towards the end of the hall.
"I need you to promise," he begged, taking a half step back. "I know I don't deserve anything from you, but I need you to promise me you won't go to that meeting tonight."
She had never been so confused in her life, but the thinly veiled panic in his eyes scared her slightly. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms tightly around him, nodding slightly into the front of his robes as a wave of sadness washed over her. Tears burned the back of her eyes as he let out a sigh of relief that she felt more than heard. His arms wrapped around her awkwardly, as if he was unused to hugs, and he muttered "thank you" into her messy braid. They stayed like that for a minute, both soaking in the feeling of someone else. She burrowed her head into his chest as she let out a small sniffle, squeezing him tightly.
When he pulled away she swiped at her eyes, eliminating any tears. He gave her a small smile, his hand cradling the side of her face as she leaned slightly into his palm. Before he ran away, he gave her a small kiss on her forehead, leaving her to stand in the abandoned corridor, watching his shadow disappear around the corner.
She let Hermione know that she wasn't feeling well enough to make it to the meeting, dropping heavily onto her bed and falling into a troubled sleep.
The next morning she heard the Inquisitorial Squad had finally caught the DA members in action. While many of the members had time to escape, they were all told via their fake Galleons that all future meetings had been cancelled until further notice.
Amara looked at Draco all of breakfast, trying to catch his eye. But he put in all effort to avoid her. There were no more letters, no more meetings in class. Every time she saw him in the library, he didn't look up, leaving her feeling more lonely than she had ever been. She would sit beside him and he would move without a word.
A/N: I plan on posting as often as I can, hopefully once a week. I have decided I will aim for Sunday updates, so have Chapter Two a few days early and please review!