Some of you may already be aware of my first foray into Overlord fanfic, doing a Potterverse crossover called Yield to the Darkness. Well, I had a brilliant idea that just had to be done that will be not only my second foray into Overlord fanfic...but my first foray into the world of Red vs Blue.

Anyway, this story has spoilers for the sixth series of Red vs Blue, so, if you haven't watched up to that point, well, consider yourself spoiled. This is Church, aka the Alpha, taking Momonga's place in the Overlord universe, with a lot more swearing, sex, and comedic shenanigans. Son of a bitch!

Oh, and the word 'Xenagogy' is just a fancy name for a travel guide.

XENAGOGY FOR BELLIGERENT AIS AND DUNGEON DENIZENS

CHAPTER 1:

AN AI IN DENIAL

Momonga wasn't happy, for a number of reasons. Leaving aside his annoyance that Yggdrasil's servers were going to be shut down, and the game he had enjoyed was coming to an end (and along with it, the hard work he and his guildmates had put into Ainz Ooal Gown), the fact that only Herohero turned up for the reunion, and due to his employer blowing smoke up his arse, he couldn't be there for the final shutdown like he wanted to, there was something else. He thought it was a hacker, tampering with the Ainz Ooal Gown's raid dungeon, the Tomb of Nazarick.

Most of the alterations were subtle, to tell the truth, ones that Momonga didn't notice until later, and they were fairly benign. But there was the changes made to Shalltear, for example. For some reason, she changed spontaneously from a vampire who looked maybe 14, and with a Gothic Lolita look, to someone somewhat older, at least in her early twenties. No less elegant, cute, or frightening, but still, it was a notable change, and a disturbing one. Okay, it did sort of make Shalltear no longer look like some paedophile's wet dream, but still, someone had tampered with Peroroncino's creation!

And the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown had gone astray. That was most aggravating of all. The artifact that the members had shed virtual blood, sweat and tears to create was gone. No, stolen. And occasionally, he'd glimpse a guy in cobalt-coloured armour, like something out of a science fiction game, running around.

Momonga personally thought that it was some hacker with a grudge against Ainz Ooal Gown, someone who was using the lessened GM presence as the game wound down to wreak havoc. The GMs who were present merely shrugged and told him that there wasn't really any point.

Momonga was annoyed, even angry, but there was no point. The world he had worked hard to create alongside his comrades was about to go the way of all flesh, an irony, considering he was a skeletal lich in the game. Now he was back to a daily grind that would probably grind him down as thoroughly as it had poor Herohero.

Still, Momonga thought as he logged out, it wasn't like anything interesting was going to happen if he had stayed logged on. Right?

As the skeletal lich faded away, a blue-armoured figure appeared, wielding a staff. "Whew," he muttered. "Thought that bony douche wouldn't leave."

His name was Captain (well, technically Private) Leonard Church. And he was a literal ghost in the machine. NOT an AI, no matter what that Freelancer fuckwit Washington claimed. If he really was an AI, he wouldn't have survived that EMP, and wouldn't have ended up here (and travelled back in time, again, though the world, from what little he had gathered from overhearing players, was a bit more grotty than he thought the 22nd century was like). Here being, well, some sort of MMORPG using cyberneural technology.

Having ended up in this raid dungeon, and discovering that, as a ghost, he had l33t h4xx0r skillz, he decided to have some fun. Hence the ire of that bony douche. Momonga or something? Seriously, what kind of name was that? It made that pink-wearing Red (Donut, wasn't it?) look well-named by comparison. Then again, he was in a MMORPG, crappy names were par for the course. Seriously, one of the prominent Ainz Ooal Gown members was called Touch Me.

Having found a new home, and being able to use a solid body in here, one he could turn insubstantial at will (so a super-ghost, then!), he had some fun exploring this place. He even began changing the various characters here so they'd have loyalty to him. Yes, brainwashing for fun and profit! He now had an army of loyal soldiers. He also altered the settings on that vampire girl: changed the age and appearance so she wasn't underaged fapping material, got rid of a few of the more disturbing fetishes (he only kept the necrophilia because, well, he was a ghost, even if he was a substantial one, and it might help), and generally made her less like the product of a seriously deranged and perverted mind (seriously, whoever this Peroroncino was, he was fucking worse than Tucker, and that was saying something). He also tinkered with that Albedo chick, made her totally fall in love with him. Hey, she was a bitch, but then again, so was Tex. Maybe he had a masochistic streak for women who could pull his skull out and beat him to death with it.

Plus, with some hacking of his own body (and he could hack ghost bodies in this world, huh? Nope, he didn't dare consider he was an AI), he was now ridiculously OP at Level 100, at least as strong as some of these guys. So, he felt invincible. He had survived an EMP (NOT a ghost! Eat shit and die, Washington, you smug Freelancer fuck!), he could survive the servers shutting down, though he wondered where he would end up next?

Leaving the chambers, he came across Sebas Tian and the Pleiades. The former was a grim-faced older man in a butler's outfit, and despite the ridiculously clichéd name, Church thought him cool. As for the Pleiades…well, Tucker would immediately say 'Bow chicka wow wow' upon seeing them: a sextet of attractive-looking maids. Each probably catering to a specific fetish: you had a headless chick (well, her head was fixed onto her neck with a choker), a furry, a shapeshifter, a slime girl and a spider girl (both with some vore on the side), and a robot chick.

And now, they were all his.

"Okay, you guys, follow me. Honour guard or whatever. To the throne room!"

Ah, they followed him quite obediently. Why, oh why, couldn't he have gotten these instead of Tucker or Caboose? One was an oversexed idiot, and the other was an even greater idiot who was also a team-killing fucktard. Okay, they were half-decent guys in the end, and they had their uses as more than meat shields, but still…

They entered the magnificent throne room, and Church had Sebas Tian and the Pleiades stand by, while he walked up to the throne. Yes, at last, he was ruler of everything! Okay, he didn't quite have ambitions for that back at Blood Gulch, but still, being overlord over a fantasy world, even a MMORPG, was fine, right?

Standing by was a magnificent young woman. Her skin was pale, her hair black, framing a beauty that a deity would have envied. Her lips were quirked in a smile that, while beautiful and serene, seemed strangely off, and not because she was an NPC in a computer game. She was dressed in an elegant white dress, and a necklace in the shape of a golden spiderweb adorned her bosom.

She wasn't human, though. A pair of black wings sprouted from her hips. A pair of horns circled her head like a circlet. And her eyes were golden, with reptilian slits for pupils.

Still, even Church'd tap that, and tap that hard. Unfortunately, he couldn't do that: apparently the servers had some program that prevented such actions from taking place, in trying to adhere to public decency laws. Church was sure that many of the laws in his time had been instituted thanks to Tucker, but whatever.

Anyway, for an evil demon, Albedo was smoking hot. Pity he couldn't bang her, but hey, diddling with her backstory to have her in love with him was good enough. Petty, and not going to do him much good with the servers shutting down, but hey, he's an asshole.

"Okay," he said to the gathered NPCs as the countdown clock ticked towards midnight. "Bow before my magnificence." And so they did. He couldn't help the petty little thrill he had gotten from that. With that, he removed his helmet, revealing an aquiline face. He used to have a beard before Tex insisted he shave it.

As the seconds ticked down, he was suddenly hit by a thrill of uncertainty. Was Washington right? Was he really an AI? And if so, would he be deleted along with these other ones when the servers shut down?

Well, too late now, he thought as the chimes of midnight approached…

…And continued. The clock disappeared, along with the menu interface, but the throne room remained, along with the NPCs.

Ha! Suck it, Washington! Church thought triumphantly, though hot on the heels of that thought was confusion. Had the servers actually shut down? He tried to call up a menu, only to frown. Huh, no menu, not even with his hacking.

Gradually, he began to realise something else. He could actually smell things, feel things that he couldn't ever since arriving in this world. Huh, that's weird. Hell, he hadn't felt so alive since Caboose blew him up with Sheila.

"What the actual fuck?" he muttered, only to be confronted by another seeming impossibility.

"Lord Church?"

He blinked, and then he looked at Albedo, whom he was sure had spoken. Which was odd. NPCs couldn't speak in Yggdrasil. At best, they could respond to commands. Sure, there were sound effects, ambient music, and voice chat between players, but NPCs?

"Yes?" he responded, deciding to go along with the crazy for now, see where it swept him. Hell, it's what he did a lot in Blood Gulch, when he wasn't fucking it up through time travel or phantasmal possession.

"Is something the matter, Lord Church?" she asked. Her lips were actually synched with the words. Holy shit, was he in some anime bullshit where the AIs became people or something?

"Well, sort of, but…yeah, I dunno. Sorry, Albedo, Lord Church has lost his train of thought. It got derailed thoroughly, with no survivors."

She cocked her head rather endearingly in confusion. "My Lord?"

Church frowned. Is it just her, or is Mr Creatively-Named Butler and his Maid Brigade like this too? "Never mind. Sebas? Pleiades?"

"My lord?" they chorused.

Church frowned inwardly. Above all things, he was a soldier, a leader. Okay, he never technically got beyond Private, despite the death of Flowers, but even so, he led the Blues. "Sebas, leave the Tomb and confirm our surroundings to within a kilometre's radius. If there are any people or intelligent life-forms," so Caboose was excluded on both counts, "talk to them, negotiate with them to come here on amicable terms. Avoid combat where possible, this is just recon and intel-gathering. Take one of the Pleiades with you to be sure. If you're attacked, send her back with any intel you have."

"Understood, Lord Church," Sebas said with a bow. He took one of the Pleiades, the doppelganger chick Narberal, and left.

Wow, the NPCs normally wouldn't be able to take such complex orders, Church mused. Hmm, but if this is like some anime bullshit, and Yggdrasil's become a real world, then I need to find out exactly what I, and these guys, can do. Also, I need to make sure these guys are loyal to me, even with that tinkering I did to their profiles. Gotta be less angry at them, unless they're as incompetent as Tucker or Caboose. Gotta treat them a bit like…well, how I should've treated Tex, really.

"Okay, uh, the rest of you Pleiades, head on up to the ninth level and keep an eye out for any cockbites coming down from the eighth. Got it?"

"Yes, Lord Church," the Pleiades chorused, and marched out.

Albedo had been waiting for this, he noted, as he turned his attention back to her. "And what may I do for you, my lord?" she asked.

Church thought about it, before shrugging. "Come over here for a moment, okay?"

"Of course, my lord!" she yelped with ecstatic glee, scurrying over. Church, on an impulse, removed his right glove, and gently held her wrist. As she gasped softly, blushing, Church frowned.

Warm skin…and he could feel a pulse. A fucking pulse! Well, if this was some weird dream or something, it was a pretty fucking vivid one.

His next thought shamed him the moment he thought of it. It sounded like something Tucker would do. But if he wanted to make sure that this wasn't just a game… "Albedo?" he asked.

"Yes, my lord?"

"I'm…going to be touching your breast. You don't mind?"

"Of course not, Lord Church! Have your way with me!"

Church winced inwardly. He had reprogrammed this woman to be in love with him. He felt more than a little guilty about that, especially considering how eager she was to allow herself to be touched by him. Well, how did they put it? In for a penny, in for a pound. With that thought, he gingerly reached forward and gently touched her breast.

The result was startling to say the least. Albedo wailed in pleasure, a thunderclap accompanying the sound. Did she just orgasm?! Church yelped inwardly, though outwardly, he merely yelled, "WHOA THERE!", taking his hand away hurriedly.

Albedo was panting, her wings flapping listlessly as she leaned towards him. "My lord, allow me to pleasure you too…" she moaned lustfully, blushing heavily.

"Come again?!" Church exclaimed, before he immediately regretted those words.

"With pleasure," she purred, before convulsing with another orgasmic cry, accompanied by another thunderclap.

"Son of a bitch!" Church yelped, recoiling. "What's wrong with you?!" Still, that answers one question, he thought. Apparently the moment you try to do something too adult in one of these MMORPGs, you get kicked out. So, Toto, we're not in fucking Kansas anymore.

"Let us make an heir to your glorious throne!" Albedo moaned lustfully(1).

Church held up his hands. "Okay, okay, hold up. There's a time and a place. Sorry about being so, well, Tucker-y, but I got a few answers from that." And more than I fucking wanted to, he thought. Dammit, what possessed you to grope her, Leonard L Church? If you tried it with Tex, she'd have ripped your arm off and beaten you to death with the soggy end, which is at least more possible than using your own skull. So, as stupid as it sounds, the game has become reality. Out loud, he said, "Albedo, I have orders for you."

She seemed somewhat disappointed that he wouldn't have his wicked way with her, but smiled, and nodded. "Anything you wish, Lord Church."

Church thought back to the info he had gathered during his time in Yggdrasil, before saying, "Contact the Floor Guardians, save for those of the fourth, sixth, and eighth levels. I will contact Aura and Mare myself. The Floor Guardians are to gather, along with yourself, in the Sixth Floor Ampitheatre within the hour. Got it?"

"I understand, Lord Church. Your will be done."

And he took some satisfaction in knowing that. "Then go." Then, he added, "We'll pick up where we left off later, when things are less hectic."

The grin on her face told him all he needed to know, and he already regretted his words. Still, it was a good start, he supposed…

CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:

So, Church, aka the Alpha, ended up in the Tomb of Nazarick (his class being a type of ultra-powerful ghost), and he's taken Momonga's place. Yikes.

1. This scene is derived from Team Dai-Gurren's Overlord Abridged, or at least its one (and, to date, only) episode.