I'm gratified at the positive response RWBY: SINS has garnered. So, here's a second chapter. Hopefully, it may be posted as a full story, but I want to get more chapters finished first. Keep in mind, this story is going to be a little cracky. Not as bad as, say, RumbleintheDumbles' A Change of Heart and The Domino Effect, but still...there's going to be a lot of influence from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.
RWBY: SINS
CHAPTER 2:
HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND PISS OFF PEOPLE
As he waited at the auditorium for the welcoming speech to begin, Ozpin frowned as his Scroll chirruped. He fished it out, and opened up his messenger software, and his frown deepened. HE had found him again. With a sigh, he read the message.
TCF: 'Sup, you antediluvian fogey. Still cuckoo for cocoa?
HotCocoa4Life: You again. I presume you don't have better things to do than to annoy me?
TCF: Well, it's rare I get to meet someone even older than I am. And the few times I have, I've eaten them. Some were like fine wines, and others like vinegar. I get the feeling you'd be in the latter category.
HotCocoa4Life: And it's rare that I have to deal with someone of your persistence. I have to wonder what possessed her to give you a Scroll.
TCF: Meh, I got bored, and I wanted to stream some vids. Even out in the boonies, the Wi-Fi is amazing, or whatever you call it. She may be a bitch, but the boss lady knows better than to allow me to get bored. She even lets me go for enthusiastic walks. Would you believe I tried out that method I thought might preserve a Grimm for taxidermy? Here's the results.
A photo popped up on the Scroll screen, with a caption below it: #NoFilter.
HotCocoa4Life: Well, colour me impressed. Actually, I've given the process to Professor Port to try out. I believe the Port Process will revolutionise Grimm Studies the world over and ensure his name goes down in history.
TCF: Wow. Well played, Ozzie. No, seriously, I'm applauding on the other end here. The boss lady claimed you were a troll of the highest order, but I never believed it until today. Well, I shall have my revenge sooner or later. But at the moment, I'm too busy having fun sending death threats by carrier pigeon to your equivalent of the Pope. That, and, well, the drunken scarecrow who's too busy fellating you when he ain't fellating his flask wants to challenge me to a drinking contest.
HotCocoa4Life: As inaccurate as your assessment of my sex life is, could you please stop your drinking contest before the point where Qrow suffers irreversible liver failure?
TCF: No promises. And I was just joking about Qrow giving you head. I heard you had a thing for stern blond teachers with glasses and riding crops, though. Kinky. A bit out of your age bracket, but I guess when you're as old as we are, the 'half plus eight' rule would fail pretty hard. I have a thing for blondes myself. Not so long ago, I turned a big-tittied police girl. Bit of a wimp, but she grew into her own. Plus, she had a pretty impressive will to live. Anyhoodle, you know how I said I'd wait to have my revenge on you? Well, I was lying. As it happens, one of my familiars snuck into Beacon this morning to give you a little gift, so serendipity, huh? I tampered with your cocoa supply. Nothing major, just a special laxative, but I'd imagine that, knowing your drinking habits, you'll probably need to sprint to the toilet very soon. Have fun with that.
Ozpin felt his bowels begin to move, and he grimaced. Oh dear. Well played…
It was inevitable, Schrödinger supposed, that something would happen. Yang went off with some friends from Signal Academy, and Ruby was left with them. She was a nice kid, but a kid all the same. Still, he had an inkling why Ozpin brought her in early, aside from facing off against Roman Torchwick while stopping a Dust store robbery (she had related the anecdote on the way over after the blonde boy barfed on their shoes).
Ruby, oddly enough, had silver eyes. They weren't odd enough to be that noteworthy normally, but Schrödinger once remembered a fairy tale he had read when he was little, in this life at least, about Silver-Eyed Warriors who could kill Grimm with a look, like a more heroic version of Medusa. And something told him that there was more to this tale than mere myth, especially as Ruby mentioned Ozpin taking note of her eyes when they first met.
But then, as she fangirled over various weapons, it happened.
"YOU!"
For the second time today, someone yelled that word at the Strays. And another familiar face. Namely, the icy blue-haired, pale-skinned features of Weiss Schnee. "What in Oum's name are you doing here?!" she snarled at Schrödinger.
"Umm, being a student here, Fraulein? It was either that or go to jail." Not quite true, but it would have to do. "Are you still mad I doodled on your face, Fraulein?"
"You bet your life that I am! And my name is not 'Fraulein', it is Weiss Schnee!"
Emerald wiggled her finger in her ear. "We know, Ice Queen. No need to deafen us. 'Fraulein' is just his way of saying 'miss'."
Ruby looked at Schrödinger incredulously. "Did you really doodle on her face?"
"With permanent marker," Weiss declared. "My face still feels raw from the scrubbing and exfoliation!"
"Fraulein, if I was actually a member of the White Fang, I could have done a lot worse," Schrödinger said. "Just think of me as a security consultant, testing holes in your security."
Weiss gritted her teeth, before she looked at Ruby. "A little bit of advice…"
"Ruby. Ruby Rose."
"Ruby Rose. These four are infamous criminals, the Strays. I don't know what Ozpin was thinking, letting this riff-raff into Beacon, though he may not have been thinking at all. My advice is to stay as far away from them as you can." With that, Weiss made her way away, some servants pushing luggage trolleys laden with what Schrödinger was sure was either a fuckton of clothes, or a good supply of SDC Dust.
"Who does she think she is?" Ruby asked, annoyed at Weiss' attitude.
"Weiss Schnee, the Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company."
The voice was cool and calm, but not one of the Strays, or Ruby. It was a black-haired girl with golden eyes, and a bow on her head who had walked up next to them. "Given what the Strays have done to the SDC, I'm not surprised she reacted as she did," the girl said. "Though I am surprised to find you at Beacon."
"Ozpin gave us an offer we couldn't refuse," Schrödinger said. "I'm Schrödinger. This is Neopolitan, Ilia Amitola, and Emerald Sustrai. We're babysitting Ruby here."
"I don't need babysitting!" Ruby retorted. "Anyway, I'm Ruby Rose. What's your name?"
"Blake Belladonna."
The Strays' eyes widened. On an impulse, Ilia used special Faunus hand signals, mostly used by the White Fang, but also by Faunus outside of it. She signalled, Friends. Talk in secret later.
Blake's own golden eyes widened, and she signalled, Who are you working for?
Ourselves, Ilia signalled, hoping that would mollify her. A bit of a lie, considering Ozpin conscripted them, but it was meant to mean they weren't working with the White Fang.
Blake certainly relaxed slightly. "Nice to meet you all."
"It's very nice to meet you, Fraulein. We would make beautiful children(1)."
Blake looked askance at Schrödinger, before Emerald said, "Ignore him. That's just his way of teasing girls. He's already got Neo as a girlfriend, he doesn't need a harem."
Neo was typing into her Scroll, before showing the message to Blake. Hmm, I don't know. You're kind of hot.
"Umm, thanks, I guess?" Blake said.
"And Neo's an even bigger troll than Schrödinger," Emerald added. "Don't get me wrong, I agree with her, but I'm already spoken for." She indicated Ilia.
"Oh. That's…nice," Blake said, uncertainly. Not because she had any issue with Emerald or Ilia being in a relationship, but because she was being hit on by a boy and two girls.
"Emmy's right. These two are trolls. Don't worry, Schrödinger is just trying, and failing, to be funny," Ilia said. "But there's nobody else you'd rather have at your back in a fight."
Blake nodded. "I'll see you later, then," she said, before walking off.
"Umm, did you have to say that to her, Schrödinger?" Ruby asked.
"It's funny, Fraulein," Schrödinger said with a shrug. "I would have said it to your sister, but I don't want to be beaten to death."
With her weapons, it's more of being punchsploded, Neo typed into her Scroll. On their looks, she rolled her eyes. What? It's a perfectly good neologism.
"And you guys are criminals?" Ruby asked.
"Thieves, scoundrels, ne'er-do-wells…" Emerald shrugged. "Long story short, Ozpin caught us redhanded, and basically told us we could enrol in Beacon in exchange for a pardon, or get locked up. Not that any jail can hold us for long, but it's annoying. Plus, we thought, why not?"
It was at that moment that the barfing blonde from the airship staggered up. "Hey. I'm Jaune…"
Ozpin grimaced as he staggered back to the auditorium. He needed to find a way to bar Beacon from those familiars. And to protect his precious, precious stash of cocoa. He'd need to make do with ordinary hot cocoa (the horror!) while he waited for a new reserve of his special cocoa blend to come from his supplier. He'd get this TCF back somehow.
As he sat backstage in the auditorium, glad he managed to make it to the toilet before any accidents could occur, his Scroll trilled. He opened it, and groaned softly. He'd rather deal with TCF rather than this…
HotCocoa4Life: James…what an unexpected pleasure.
IAmIronMan: Ozpin, we both know that this is neither unexpected or a pleasure for either of us. You know why I am calling.
HotCocoa4Life: I'm sorry, James, but if this is about the Fridge Magnet Incident, then rest assured, Miss Polendina's secret is safe with me. And Qrow thinks it was a hallucination caused by the DTs. He won that bet about how long he could go without drinking, BTW, and is now making a concerted effort to exterminate what is left of his liver.
IAmIronMan: No!
HotCocoa4Life: Then maybe it's about your new recruit? I apologise for not realising the young man had a silver allergy, or else I wouldn't have handed him that antique Lien coin as a gift.
IAmIronMan: NO! Though it is about a new recruit who is mute. Namely, yours. Along with three others. Do I need to lose any pretence at subtlety, or are you going to quit dancing around the subject?
Ozpin sighed to himself. Well, at least James acknowledged he could only pretend to subtlety.
HotCocoa4Life: You are irritated because I have recruited the Strays. I sent everything in the email to your account.
IAmIronMan: Without consulting me. Do you have any idea of the trouble they have caused me?
HotCocoa4Life: Of course. You complain about it most vociferously on many an occasion. I remember the time a few months ago when they took one of Jacques Schnee's cars from where he had parked it, apparently a priceless antique, and painted it red, before crashing it into Margaret Milk's All-Flavours Ice Cream Parlour.
IAmIronMan: When we investigated the wreckage, we found a note saying, 'We tried painting it red, but we couldn't find enough goats. So we scrapped it. Also: 'All-Flavours' my perfect ass. THEY HAD NO NEAPOLITAN!'
HotCocoa4Life: Well, there was a huge silver lining to that incident. That ice cream parlour was being used as a meeting place for the White Fang within Atlas, and I heard you made many arrests, along with confiscating Adam Taurus' favourite mask while it was being repaired. And the so-called 'goat's blood' was actually raspberry flavouring for ice cream. And didn't the car originally belong to a Faunus collector, only to be stolen, and Jacques Schnee bought it under dubious circumstances?
IAmIronMan: That is the subject of an ongoing investigation, and you and I know perfectly well that Schnee will be able to buy his way out of it, like he does out of anything. And don't change the subject. Do you have any idea of the trouble you are going to cause me? I know that Weiss Schnee is going to Beacon, and when she learns that the boy who doodled on her face while she was asleep, and has been a thorn in her father's side for years, is present at Beacon, she is going to contact her father ASAP. The only way things could be worse is if the Belladonna girl's former allegiance was exposed, and I'm still not sure that admitting her to Beacon was a good idea. And there's worse. I found out details about the little group Schnee hired not so long ago, the ones acting as his enforcers. And I think they may be working for her.
Ozpin felt a chill run down his spine at that thought. The only 'her' he would say in such a way had to be Salem. And James, as paranoid as he was, wouldn't make such an accusation lightly.
HotCocoa4Life: How sure are you?
IAmIronMan: No evidence per se…but they seem to be encouraging Schnee's weapons development. And there's evidence of weapons smuggling, which Schnee has given quiet approval of, as long as he profits. And you've told me that she desires conflict and chaos. We're seeing greater conflicts across the world, Ozpin, and Schnee's new enforcers seem to be behind it. And remember those people Branwen caught a glimpse of while saving Amber? Two of Schnee's new enforcers match the descriptions of two of them, albeit vaguely. But all it is is circumstantial evidence and a gut feeling.
HotCocoa4Life: I see. Well, getting back to the Strays…I set out most of the reasons in the document I sent you. But I guess the most important reason is that their talents can be of significant use to us. As the cliché goes, it takes a thief to catch one, and their connections in the Vale underworld will help us, especially considering Roman Torchwick's concerning new ventures into Dust theft, as well as the rumours he is collaborating with the White Fang. The Strays certainly have no love for the White Fang, as you well know, or at least what it turned into after Sienna Khan took over. True, I am taking something of a risk, but this will hopefully lessen the chances of Amber's location being leaked to the wrong ears. And it may lessen the chaos in Atlas.
IAmIronMan: I hope you're right. And I fear for the stability of Vale. Handling Jacques Schnee is up to you, Ozpin.
HotCocoa4Life: Very well. Keep me apprised about these enforcers of his, please.
IAmIronMan: I will. I am very worried about these people…
Blake Belladonna watched warily from the sidelines as the Strays, along with that Ruby Rose girl and that motion sick boy, walked into the auditorium. Ilia's hand signals had nearly caused her to run, like she had done so many times…but the Strays were infamous in their attacks on White Fang as much as their attacks on the SDC and their allies. Still, she would wait until they had a quiet moment so that they could talk in peace. She hoped they would be allies, that they would understand that she left the White Fang, and why.
She had to admit, she admired them, even if mentioning them in front of Adam was sure to send him into a rage. Not that that was anything truly novel, but the Strays were a particularly sore point for him, right up there with the SDC, the Atlesian military, and gazpacho soup (thanks to an incident where he thought it was meant to be served hot(2): he now made a habit of killing any chefs he came across by drowning them in boiling gazpacho).
But she admired them for their skill and tenacity in sticking it sideways to the SDC, and she knew that the White Fang wasn't what it once was. Even Sienna Khan herself, while she advocated violent means to further the cause, didn't intend to go as far as Adam did. But Sienna also turned something of a blind eye to the more violent members of the White Fang, thinking them useful. Blake, however, could not. To target people like Jacques Schnee was one thing, but to target people just doing their jobs…
Blake calmed herself with an effort, and looked at the Strays as calmly as she could. She thought back to the dossiers White Fang had compiled on them.
The leader, who had playfully propositioned her, was Calico Schrödinger, 18, a cat Faunus noted for a cheerful demeanour, and playful. He had, however, an unusual Semblance, one that allowed him to effectively teleport anywhere. He had even made his way into the Schnee mansion on a number of occasions, though he usually only stole a few things. He also couldn't be killed, thanks to said Semblance: at least three White Fang members had shot him on separate occasions, only to see him somehow come back to life. It had even been captured on a Scroll video recording. These had given him the appellations 'The Cat Who Walks Through Walls' and 'Nine-Lives Schrödinger'.
Despite her petite appearance, one of the few things confirmed about Neopolitan was that she was about the same age. She was also confirmed by Schrödinger himself to be his lover. She was also probably the best physical fighter of the group, despite her petite frame, and apparently had a Semblance that used illusions.
Ilia Amitola was a chameleon Faunus. Of the group, she was perhaps the voice of reason. She was one of the least noticeable of the group, but that in itself was dangerous. Those who hid themselves well had trump cards hidden. She was certainly no slouch when it came to physical combat.
The last member of the Strays was Ilia's own lover, Emerald Sustrai. Very little was known about this human, save that she had, somehow, turned her enemies against each other, presumably with a Semblance.
Well, Blake thought, at least things will be interesting here. Even if only in the curse sense of the word.
If only she knew…
CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:
So, Ozpin deals with annoying people online, and the Strays troll others. Good times. Next chapter, Ilia and Blake have a discussion, and the Initiation begins.
1. mellra suggested this in correspondence. I didn't have him risking it with an annoyed Yang, or with Ruby in close proximity to Yang, or a huffy Weiss. So, Blake gets what Seras got in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.
2. This is based on a joke from Red Dwarf: Me Squared, where Rimmer underwent a similar humiliation, albeit with less murderous inclination afterwards.