Chapter 12

"How could you do this?" Edward roared. Victoria had disappeared right away after snapping Bella's neck, knowing she was outnumbered. The boy she arrived with didn't move fast enough and Edward had torn him to bits. It was terrifying to watch. The only way to kill a pale vampire, which I have started calling them, was to rip them apart and set the pieces on fire. After Edward tore him to pieces, Angela had performed another inscendia. "We could've distracted her and gotten Bella! Now she's dead!"

"There was nothing we could've done. Even if Angela had tried to hurt her from far away, she would've still been able to break Bella's neck. At least this way, she doesn't have an army," I said, trying to calm him down.

"We would've figured out something. All this time I have spent protecting Bella just for her to die to kill a bunch of vampires that we could've killed anyways."

"She's not dead. She had my blood from when I healed her earlier," I explained. I knew that he already knew that from reading my mind but he didn't seem to understand it. Everyone else sighed in relief and I remembered that Angela and Edward were the only ones who knew that Bella was in transition. They must have thought I let her die.

"Same thing!"

Stefan spoke, "There's nothing that we can do about it now. Our only option is to wait for her to wake up and see if she decides to drink or not." Edward looked over at Bella miserably; she was still lying there, her skin pale and her neck at an odd angle. He tried to adjust her head to a more natural position but the clicking of her bones when they moved made him flinch away from her body.

I felt awful about the whole situation but I knew there was nothing else we could've done. While the Cullens huddled around Edward and Bella, I separated myself from them to look through the remains of the deceased vampires. It was gruesome; there were desiccated corpses all around. I was glad that the girl I chose to spare had burnt so that I wouldn't have to see her body.

"You did the right thing," Stefan said. He too had distanced himself from the group. Angela was walking around, burning the corpses and organs she came across.

"You think so?" I was starting to regret my decision at this point. Just like me, Bella didn't have a choice on whether she'd become a vampire or not.

"I do. It was a good idea to burn the entire army at once."

"That was Angela's idea, not mine," I pointed out. I kicked a heart out of my way as we walked.

"Still. Edward's upset because he wanted Bella to stay human but he'll forgive you," he said. We walked together, occasionally stepping over bodies.

"Thanks for saving me by the way."

"No problem."

"You seemed really scared."

He shrugged but I could tell he was just trying to act brave. "It would've sucked if you died. I don't know anyone else here."

"That's true." I thought about his frightened face and how he was trembling. He had looked legitimately terrified of losing me. It's flattering to know you'd be missed.

"You know, I admire you," he said. My heart skipped a beat.

"Why?"

"I saw you with that girl earlier. You let her live." He picked up a handful of the ashes lying on the ground. We were passing by the spot where Bree had burned and I could feel my eyes tearing up as I thought about how she had to die.

"I was being weak."

He shook his head and dropped the ashes into the wind. "You were being human. Any of the rest of us would've killed her on the spot but you didn't."

"What does that prove?" I asked. I still couldn't see why it was relevant.

"That you're good," he said as he smiled sadly at me. "Being a vampire has changed everyone else into people that have done so many horrible things that they can't help but hate themselves. Even Elena has turned off her humanity and killed people. Seeing you spare her life just showed that you're not lost."

I sighed. "I'm only that way because I'm a vampire now. As a human I was so annoying and you know it."

"When we change, who we already are is heightened. For me, I became a ripper, out of control and I killed so many people. Before I changed I was already self-conscious, confused about my own actions and it just got worse." The regret on his face broke my heart to see. "But instead of your bad qualities getting magnified, you being this caring, amazing person. That just shows that the good's always been there."

Shocked, I asked, "You think I'm amazing?" I was embarrassed as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

He grinned. "Yeah, you're pretty great."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Something about what he had said didn't settle right with me. We kept walking but I broke the silence again. "When you said that I'm not lost, did you mean that you are?"

He frowned. "I guess so."

"You're not though. When was the last time you killed someone with your humanity on?"

"Fifteen minutes ago," he said simply.

"Okay, I probably shouldn't have asked that. What I'm trying to say is that you don't do things just to be bad. Every time you've killed someone it was because your humanity was off or out of self-defense. You aren't like- I mean you don't," I stuttered, losing my train of thought.

"I'm not like Damon? The only difference between him and me is that he's dead," he said bitterly.

"That's a huge difference. His mistakes are permanent because he's dead. You have an eternity to fix yours," I reasoned. I knew that it would be insensitive to point out how bad Damon had been so I decided not to compare them. He stayed silent but I could tell that he was considering what I had said.

"Stefan! Caroline!" Emmett called out to us. "We're heading home." They were packing everything into the cars and Edward carefully carried Bella into the back of his. Angela had finished burning all the remains and most of the ashes had already been scattered by the wind.

When we got home, Edward laid Bella down on the couch. He stayed by her side, staring at her pale face, waiting for her to wake up. Angela's mom came to pick her up and I realized that she was the only one with two alive parents. It was quiet as everyone headed upstairs to change out of their bloodstained clothes. After I took a shower, I sat on the couch opposite Bella. I could see that the color was already returning to her face and her neck was almost back to normal. Emmett came and sat down next to me. "You know, I'm glad you turned her."

"I know. The army was defeated because of that," I responded.

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm glad you changed her and I don't mean because it was a necessary sacrifice. I was going to ask you to change her anyway." He put his hand on her forehead and smiled when he felt that it was warm.

"Really? Why?"

He pointed to her rosy cheeks. "Because this way, she's still alive. Rosalie and I agreed that this was a good compromise. Immortality without being a literal corpse."

I tilted my head. "Did Edward know this?"

"Of course not," Emmett said as if the question was silly. "He wanted her to stay human."

"Then why?" I didn't think Emmett was one to go against his brother's wishes.

"Because I respect Bella. She was making a bad decision by wanting to become a vampire but Edward needs to realize that she can choose for herself."

"That makes sense."

"Also, now I get to arm wrestle her." He grinned and I laughed at him. Suddenly, Bella sat up, breathing hard.

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