My teacher, Shizuka Hiratsuka, wore an irritated expression as she read my essay out loud. I realized that the gross lack of examples and supporting evidence may have led to a poorly constructed essay, that is to say, the condemnations I made also applied to my own writing. It lacked any constructive criticisms except for trying not to talk politely, which again brings the topic back to the point I made: one can't be nice and not a liar at the same time - they are two mutually exclusive qualities.
That said - the writing itself couldn't be the reason I was summoned. Despite being an exam, it served nothing more than a "sample of the average writing ability of the class", so I would not have lost any mark even with this excuse of a rant about the previous year.
"Say, Hachiman, what was on the exam booklet?"
"An essay with the topic 'Looking Back on High School Life'."
"And what is your essay about? How to irritate people?"
She dropped the paper onto the table and sighed.
At this point I became increasingly aware of my surroundings. The ticking clock on the wall, the soft breeze from the air conditioner, the afternoon sun's glare on the tinted windows, and a faint odour of charred tobacco. My feet felt cold and sweaty.
"A reflection on high school life."
She lifted a finger in front of her face and swayed it.
"The way you write, judging by its diction and structure, is excellent for a high schooler of your age. In fact, I'm totally willing to rate it above the overwhelming majority of adults." She paused, before continuing at a higher volume, "Though this doesn't excuse you from having overly idealistic high hopes for virtue. You seem to detest the very idea of euphemism, but what other alternatives have you suggested? I'd at least to hear some sort of constructive advice - and what did you write? 'Sweep them all into the dustbin'. "
"Uh... Well… Isn't it a reflection on high school life? I did reflect on it and have pointed out some general characteristics that are becoming exceedingly stereotypical nowadays, you know! I mean it isn't perfect but at least it's very truthful!"
I fumbled my words. I'm not used to talking to people, and a beautiful looking older woman made me especially anxious.
"Usually a 'reflection' question would mean that the author is to offer their personal opinion by sharing a personal experience, not a generalisation of a broad social problem, don't you think?"
"Then put the word 'personal' in the prompt. If you'd done that, I would've written the essay accordingly. Handing out an ambiguous question and then blame those who don't have the telepathic ability for not writing what you wanted is a kind of hypocrisy, don't you think?"
I tried to argue but in the end, it wouldn't have mattered much.
"Looks I'm just wasting my own time here trying to talk common sense into you, the irritable gentleman. You know, I'm not angry with you. It's just your particular way of seeing the world has piqued my interest."
From a breast pocket on her jacket, Hiratsuka pulled out a pack of cigarettes, held the filter between her teeth and ignited its tip with a lighter, all in a swift motion. Exactly how one would expect out of a middle-aged chronic smoker. She seemed to have cooled off a bit with the influx of nicotine.
"You're not in any clubs, right?"
"Right."
"Friends?"
She probably asked these questions under the assumption that someone with a view similar to mine wouldn't have any to begin with.
"Nobody in particular…"
"Summing it all up, you haven't got any?"
"Well… If you have to say it that way…"
All of a sudden her face looked excited.
"So that's how it is! You really have no friends at all! Exactly as my findings from your writing. Looks like I have now learned the ability to judge one's social status from a simple essay!"
Right, a typical feel-good statement to mock on a loser.
"Just to make sure… Are you currently single?"
She sounded like totally enjoying it now.
"Well I'm available at the moment." I tried to make it sound less harsh to myself, considering any hopes for the future, I used "at the moment" just in case.
Hiratsuka seemed to be in a state of deep thinking after this barrage of bizarre questions. Then she exhaled a large cloud of smoke.
"Alright. Since this essay isn't supposed to carry any weight to begin with, just consider you had fun. Read the question carefully on a real exam. Good?" She posed a "not bad" face while irritably tapping her fingers against the desk.
"Yes."
I absolutely would have if today's exam was worth anything.
I've read more than enough news articles to master how to write as smoothly as a fake news generator. School essays tend to only focus on grammatical correctness and paragraph structure alone, so the perfect "school essay" was certainly within my capability.
"However, judging by the fact that your statements in the aforementioned essay have posed serious threats to public safety and national security, as a result, you are to join the service club immediately. Do not go home, do not collect dinner."
She sounded to feel very comfortable in a position of authority, stating her "sentence" with a very quirky sense of humour. Some said authority corrupted people, now it had become clear that even such petty power of an instructor, a government employee, is capable of raising such blatant sadism.
"The service club… What do you suppose I do there?" I timidly inquired. I get the feeling of hand washing twenty-four junk-filled toilet bowls or even worse, being thrown into the organized underground slave trade.
"Follow me."
Hiratsuka squashed the butt of the cigarette onto a densely packed layer of burned paper in a tinted glass ashtray at the edge of her desk and stood up to her full length. At the same height as me, her sheer presence radiated power and strength. While I stood still on the spot awaiting further clarifications to what she was proposing, Hiratsuka was already looking back at me at the door.
"Come on! You'll know what this is about when you get there."
With my brows tightly knit together, I followed.
Well this is the first part, I didn't change a whole lot here except for making Hiratsuka more reasonable and more relatable to an actual teacher. Things are about to get a lot more different and interesting next, I promise.