"I like this, having breakfast with you.. in complete silence."

April hadn't said much when she joined him for their run,even less when they finished, and nothing after she placed her order. It seemed fine at first. Jimmy was cooling off, stretching, and riding his endorphin high but when he came down he realized he was miles from April or at least she was from him.

"That was an attempt at a joke…"

Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck clenching the middle as if it could solve her silence.

"I'm sorry...I thought the run would clear my head," April muttered.

"I think it did, you haven't had two words to say since I picked you up."

Jimmy's big blue eyes demanded one to give into them. April wasn't immune.

"My ex, he- or we...it's-it's gotten really complicated lately," she confessed.

"How so?"

"Have you ever done something to yourself and known it was bad but you just keep letting it happen?"

"Like self-harm?" he asked.

"Kind of…?"

"Are we talking eating ice cream when we know we're lactose intolerant or cutting ourselves?"

His eyes filled with concern.

"Is there a middle ground somewhere?"

His smile, however bittersweet, was welcomed.

"I've been letting him do things to me that I wouldn't let anyone do...he's rekindled another relationship and-."

"-I'm sorry, I gotta stop you. I'm pretty sure I know who you're talking about and now I need to be honest."

April sat up.

"I like you, like, like you, I think you're tenacious and kind."

Flush that had dissipated from their skin was back in their respective cheeks. Nonetheless he continued.

"I know messy. I do, trust me but if this is the kind of mess you're not ready to step out of then just let me know, we can still keep hanging out, I do enjoy your company but-,"

"-Of course, it's um, more like feelings that I need to be done with and I want to."

Sweet was all that was left in his eyes now.

…

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. See 1. Ethan forced his way into April's place and stoically hammered her into the floor. Opposite reaction See 2. Ethan made sweet tender artificial love to Vicky. He wanted April to gag on her own happiness without him. And now he wanted Vicky's friends to gag in disgust over her doting boyfriend. It was overkill. For every shove of his hips down April's throat was the pull of Vicky's waist to him and quick kiss, his climax?

"Vic-man she's just amazing, I think she could be the perfect woman if there ever was one."

It helped that it wasn't a lie. It was still overkill. He really did believe she was amazing. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her. But April had become the resented addiction. The one he knew he didn't want anymore-no the one he didn't want to want. That's what addiction is. The want to quit but the inability to be without it. Vicky was supposed to be the antidote.

"Does Ethan have any brothers?"

Vicky beamed.

"Just a sister," she answered.

"Have you met her?"

"No, it's been a sore subject."

"Becca, do you want the Sauvignon Blanc? We're out of the Pinot," Ethan asked as he emerged from the kitchen.

"I should probably stop, I have an early morning," she replied.

Vicky saw Becca to the door.

"Lunch next week?"

Vicky nodded, "We'll hash out the details later."

Ethan picked up the last of their glasses and headed to the kitchen. Vicky strode in and closed her eyes tightly before resting her palm against her forehead.

"I think I might have had one too many as well," Vicky stated.

"Stay the night," Ethan said as he turned his head to give her a gentle kiss.

Vicky cooed and headed to his bedroom. She yelled to Ethan that she was going to grab a t-shirt. He dried his hands and followed suit.

"Make room," she said sweetly.

April had his large grey naval shirt on; and nothing else.

"Oh,I can make room," Ethan answered.

She was wearing his favorite lace boy shorts too.

"Why are you wearing that?"

His tone slashed through the tranquility.

"What-I just grabbed the first shirt," Vicky pleaded.

Ethan's face softened, "Oh-no it's not a big deal, it's just that I have some stuff that would fit you better."

His save wasn't in time. Vicky could see the tightness in his jaw.

"Are you alright?"

"Absolutely," he smiled.

Placebo.

….

His run had taken him farther than he thought; to a park with great trails. Ethan's world was a menagerie of greens, pinks, reds, and blues. Then brown, deep and warm and creamy white skin and blue eyes. April and Lanik were running the same path. He ducked behind a tree as they were finishing up. Lanik gave April a high-five and he heard them laugh before Jimmy opened the passenger door to his car to let April in.

She knew Ethan ran here, she must've done this on purpose. Any guilt Ethan had about his treatment of her over their past few encounters vacated.

…

Weeks went by without incident. April and Ethan didn't see each other at all. Not even in passing. But she was seeing a lot more of Lanik. When they both found the free time they exhausted his list of outlets. They were finally moving into a territory that felt less friendly and more romantic. However, that space was entered very awkwardly. After a casual walk Jimmy escorted her to her front door. Her sweater which had felt appropriate when they began their walk had turned into a source of discomfort. She had it tied around her waist but it was slipping as they climbed the stairs.

"So…," Jimmy began.

This happened way too often, they'd say goodbye but it always felt like there should be more, something else said, a hug, but it never happened and the awkwardness had built to uncomfortable levels.

"The park was nice today," April answered.

Her sweater slid to their feet. April began to reach for it as Jimmy leaned forward, eyes closing. When she sprang up the top of her head hit his chin.

"Ouch!" They both yelled in unison.

"What are you doing?!" April accused as she rubbed the top of her head.

"-I thought you were- you know," Jimmy answered as he rubbed his chin.

When he removed his hand a small knick was bleeding.

"-Oh, you're bleeding," April said.

She was now in nurse mode. Leading them into her apartment. Jimmy had never been in.

"Sit down," she ordered before heading to the back to grab her first aid kit.

Lanik took in her house. It was what he expected, tidy, warm, brimming with light. Soon April was in front of him,on her knees to get a better view of his chin. He stared at the top of her head searching for a mark or a cut.

"You'll have to get a better look later but I don't think you're going to need stitches," April announced.

She paused when she felt his hands in her scalp. Looking around until they smoothed the top of her curls, then frame her face. She was watching him inspect her, put her back together again with such care.

"Thanks," she whispered.

He finally landed on her eyes.

"-Can,can I try something?" He asked.

April nodded with an inquisitive smirk. He lifted her chin up and brought his face closer to hers. His lips almost to her.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

They both closed their eyes at the proclamation. His lips were softer than she thought, her's more robust than imagined. When their mouths closed to seal the kiss neither wanted to stop so they kept going, until their tongues met. The rush of ecstasy, firing through their pleasure centers as she pushed up to straddle his lap. She began gyrating her hips against him. It felt like the next natural thing to do. His hands were on her hips, trying to freeze the pleasure in place. Like teenagers pawing at each other, trying their best to consume and replicate every feeling so it would last. A choked grown escaped his mouth and then an exasperated sigh. April stopped, their foreheads met as she tried to get her breathing under control.

"I just wanted a kiss."

April laughed.

"I guess I wanted a little more," she confessed breathlessly.

"Let me take you to dinner tonight, do this properly."

April moved in to kiss him again.

"Okay."