When Amanda and Olivia returned to the precinct, Olivia was catching new complaints and reports while Amanda went quietly to her desk to complete paperwork. Amaro and Fin left for lunch, leaving them relatively alone in the squad room, but all chances of speaking to each other personally had passed once they left the bar. Amanda's blonde head remained tilted downwards in concentration - or at least the appearance of it - and Olivia could scarcely catch a glance of her expression with stolen glances from across the room or through the blinds of the conference room. Less than an hour after they struggled to find their rhythm of work again, a woman entered the room to file a complaint against her boyfriend, and Olivia had no more time to ponder to Amanda's thoughts, but her own remained staunchly at the forefront of her mind.

She hadn't expected Amanda to be so brutally truthful. The younger detective had evaded her in the weeks following their fateful kiss, but once they'd entered the bar, the defensives had come crashing down; and Olivia could not shake her words.

You kissed me. You did that and yeah, I didn't stop you. But I didn't want to.

The mutual confirmation of their intentions behind the kiss shook Olivia to the core. She'd known that Amanda had fostered feelings for her in the beginning, but she'd never imagined that they went deeper than physical attraction. She'd had her share of those types of crushes and was no stranger to it happening at work, but her relationship with Amanda had taken her by surprise, kicked her while she was down, and wouldn't let her up. The possibility that her own desires went any further than fling to fill her loneliness had seemed ridiculous right up until she was staring Amanda down, demanding that she spell out exactly what Amanda wanted from her.

I think you know. Amanda's answer had been as gratifying as it had been frustrating.

It would be so simple to ground down the sparks between them to simple sexual infatuation. It would be easier. It wouldn't be so terrifying, but Olivia could not shake the idea that it was something more.

The mess inside her head was no less tangled by the time the sun set than when she'd first walked Amanda to the bar.

She'd taken Fin with her to make an arrest on the boyfriend of her complainant, leaving Amanda firmly planted at the desk. She'd asked Amanda if she wanted to make a solid collar with her, but Amanda had waved her off and Fin had been too quick to volunteer before she could convince Amanda any further.

By the the time she and Fin made the arrest, dropped by Warners' for DNA to match to the rape kit, headed to the tombs and back home, it was late and it had been several hours since she'd seen her partner.

As she directed the squad car back towards the precinct, the inside of the vehicle was silent. Despite her focus on the road, her mind was doubly engaged. The excitement of the arrest had momentarily distracted her from the conflict in her mind, but the slow process at booking had left spaces for her thoughts of Amanda to creep in once more. Now that the high of the collar had burnt out entirely, she was left bereft of any sort of diversion.

"You mind?" Fin asked, and she blinked quickly, glancing over at his motion towards the radio.

"Oh. Yeah." She confirmed, glancing back towards the road. "Go ahead."

Fin turned the dial on the radio and soft R&B filtered the speakers at a low volume. She tried to relax her shoulders and listen to the smooth voice of the singer as he crooned of love and abandon.

"You good?" Fin asked after a moment.

"Yeah, yeah." Olivia answered quickly, almost too quickly to be honest.

"You sure?" Fin prodded after a moment's hesitation.

"Just been a long day." Olivia replied with a sigh as they came to a stop at a red light.

Tilting her head back against the head rest, she stared up at the burning red light and attempted to smooth out her facial expression.

"You know, Liv, I don't mind working with Rollins." Fin said suddenly, causing her straighten in her seat.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, clutching the steering wheel harder.

"Just what I said." Fin replied with a shrug. "I don't mind it. I think she's a good cop."

"Yeah, so do I." Olivia returned sharply before quietly cursing herself for the defensiveness in her tone.

"I know the cap'n put you two together to work things out, but it don't gotta be forever." Fin continued.

"What is this, Fin?" Olivia demanded, stepping on the pedal as the light turned green. "I can handle working with people other than Elliot. I've worked with you long enough for-"

"Liv." Fin interrupted, holding up his hands to calm her. "It's not somthin' against you, baby, I just see things, all right?"

Olivia stared at the road, her fingers tight around the steering wheel. She realized dismally that her shoulders her clenched and tense all over again - and that Fin was right. She and Amanda were in a deadlock and they had been for some time.

"Give me a few more weeks." She murmured at last. "I'll figure this out and she'll be all yours again."

"Whatever you say." Fin assured her. "Just know I got your back."

Olivia didn't reply, but the agreements between them had largely gone unspoken for the better part of their partnership. She let the conversation die, and by the time they returned to the precinct, Olivia had begun to think that she couldn't allow her and Amanda's relationship to continue in its current condition for much longer. Cragen already knew the fragile nature of their alliance and with Fin's acknowledgement of the tension between, Olivia wondered if it might be better to allow Amanda to return to Fin's side. Surely, their continued time together couldn't amount to anything more than another mistake and perhaps one more fatal.

"I'm outta here." Fin told her as they entered the squad room. "Wanna file paperwork tomorrow?"

"Nah." Olivia replied with a shrug. "I'll just do it now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Olivia flashed him a quick, reassuring smile as she settled down at her desk.

She didn't mind doing paperwork, but there were other less professional motives on her mind for staying behind.

"Right. See you tomorrow." Fin said as he locked up his gun and grabbed his coat. "See ya, Rollins."

Olivia glanced over her shoulder at the person of her thoughts as Amanda waved at Fin with a short smile before her head ducked again.

As Fin's footsteps retreated, Olivia sank back in the chair and stared at the desk for a long moment. They were alone and yet she felt a barrier between them, something that stopped the words from coming out of her mouth. It was the same barrier that had caused her to cut short their conversation at the bar in return for arriving back at the precinct early. She was beginning to feel that it had less to do with Amanda and more to do with her own fear.

"Are you really staying?"

Amanda's voice behind her startled her and Olivia's eyes popped open. She hadn't realized she'd squeezed them closed against a burgeoning headache.

"Uh, yeah." She replied, rubbing her fingers against her temple before straightening in the chair.

"Sorry about that arrest. I just had a lot to do." Amanda commented after a moment, a veneer of nonchalance covering the stiffness in her voice.

"It's fine." Olivia glanced over at her once more, her smile as rigid as Amanda's reply.

She heard Amanda slowly begin to shut down her laptop and gather her things while she gazed at her desktop, listening to her heart beat in her chest. The day was nearly out and she was no closer to resolving the tension between them than she had been three weeks ago. She had to say something, come up with some way to -

The buzzing of her cellphone in her pocket distracted her from the thoughts swarming in her mind and she fished out the vibrating device. She half expected it to be a telemarketer or something else as unremarkable, but when she lifted flipped the phone over in her palm, the name on the screen stopped her heart.

For a long moment, the phone continued to buzz in her palm as the letters of Elliott's name burned into her retinas. Behind her, Amanda had grown quiet, and she felt intensely aware of the woman behind her and the man on the other side of the line - two parts of her life that were suddenly crashing and colliding.

"Are you gonna answer that?" Amanda's voice sounded far away above the ringing in her ears.

"F-fuck…" She whispered, her voice rough against her dry throat.

The phone abruptly stopped ringing, leaving them in silence. The call screen disappeared, leaving her to stare at the missed call notification. Her fingers tightened around the device while panic closed around her throat.

"It was probably just a telemarket -" She began to whisper in a wobbly tone when the jangle of her cellphone interrupted her excuse once more.

Elliott's name stared back at her from the screen once more, taunting her. They hadn't spoken since the night of the Rory Halstead case. She'd thought that maybe they were finally done for, burned out, destroyed. She thought that she could finally move on, but his number remained in her phone like a bad omen that promised to come back again and again.

"Hello?"

She was answering the phone before she could think, her voice scratching from her throat. There was no chance of sounding calm and unbothered, but he already knew what he did to her. She just wished that she could forget. She wished so badly in that moment.

"Liv." His voice reached her ear with acidic familiarity, burning her to the core even across miles of telephone wire.

She swallowed hard as she felt heat filling her head, emotion blooming in her eyes. She turned into herself, hunching over her knees to hide from Amanda's wondering gaze. Her hair slipped over her cheek, mercifully veiling her face from the world.

"Hi." The greeting scraped from her throat, barely audible.

"Hey."

A long silence filled the humming of line and Olivia bit down hard on her lower lip.

"Kath and I…" Elliot began at last, her voice faltering for a moment. "I think we're done, Liv."

Olivia's heart began to slam harder against her ribs and she couldn't will her tongue to move. She couldn't think of what to say or how to feel or how to begin to categorize the emotions battling inside her. The part of her that cherished their years of partnership rejoiced and fell down in relief; but the part of her that had suffered his betrayals, the part of her that had raged against him that final night, rose inside her with invigorated strength.

"I…" She whispered numbly. "I'm sorry, El."

"I was wrong."

Olivia licked her dry lips with a scoff as bitterness threaded its way through her veins. "Yeah, El."

"Hey, I already feel shitty enough." He replied, his voice tight and simultaneously weary. "I called because I need you, Liv."

His words rang in her ear, both damning and compelling. I need you. He'd never admitted that before, never even hinted at it. She'd always been second to his wife, a slice of his life he couldn't take home. Now, he said it like an admittance of guilt, a confession he was finally letting go of. She wondered if he'd gone to the church yet or if their ensuing tryst would require a second trip.

She clutched her hand over her eyes, felt perspiration building between the phone screen and her cheek.

This moment felt inevitable, yet unlike all the other times he'd called for her, she didn't want to fall. The pull he had on her didn't feel like Fate; it just felt like an addiction she'd carried for far too long. She wanted to scream out in protest, remind him of that night she'd pushed him away and he'd said they were done, but the part of her that had relied on him for love and affection craved what he had always given her. Just like a junkie she yearned for the needle and the way it could deliver bother pain and pleasure.

"Liv…" He murmured, and she felt a ball of dread welling up in her throat.

Tearing the phone from her ear, she clenched the device in her palms between her knees. Her vision blurred as she stared down at the floor, attempting to breath around tides of emotion and panic.

"Liv?" A second voice saying her name jolted out of her spiral, a voice that spoke like an angel of deliverance.

Amanda.

Olivia sat up slowly, glancing over her shoulder to see Amanda standing at the edge of her desk. Her eyes were wide with concern and perception. She knew without Olivia speaking a word. She knew when she saw the tear slipping from Olivia's eye and the manmade pain that forced that emotion down her cheek. She simply knew.

Olivia swallowed hard. "He wants me to come see him."

Amanda blinked quickly, her tongue darting out to lick nervously at her lower lip. Her fine brows were furrowed as she glanced about the squad room before landing on Olivia again.

"Are you going to?"

The question was posed carefully, but the layers between Amanda's facade of indifference and the reality of her feelings were thin, so thin that Olivia could see the light of desperation shining through. This time, it wasn't a warning flare, but a beacon, and Olivia grasped it with failing strength.

"I… I don't want to." The confession fell from Olivia's lips on the note of surreal, husky whisper; for a moment, she couldn't believe she had spoken the words, but when she did, she felt a relief stronger than Elliot had ever given her.

Amanda remained at the desk for a long, agonizing second, but the light in her eyes was growing into an explosion, fueled by the escapist longing hiding in Olivia's own gaze. At last, Amanda broke from her neutral position, crossing the room and converging upon Olivia so quickly that the breath went from her lungs.

Amanda grabbed her hand, and Olivia felt a tremble transfer from Amanda's flesh to her own. Her gaze tracked from their tangled fingers upwards to Amanda's cerulean eyes, bright against the flush in her cheeks.

"Don't go home with him." Amanda whispered, her voice suddenly full of exhilaration; and when their eyes locked, the final sparks ignited. "Come with me."