Chapter 4

They departed from the Academy of Tristain early the next day to much fanfare. The teachers and students of the school were gathered before the gates as they left, cheering and waving as Henrietta's carriage rolled out past the school's walls. At a glance, Alex judged that there was between three to four hundred of them altogether. He watched them from inside the carriage he shared with the princess until they disappeared behind the gates that closed ponderously behind them as they left the Academy's yards.

For a time after that, there was an awkward silence in the air. It was just the two of them in there; Mazarin had been sent away by Henrietta to ride in a separate carriage before they had set out, much to his protest. It was clear to Alex that this had been done to give them some privacy, just as it was clear what she wanted from him: a conversation. Yet, Alex found it difficult to deliver on that promise they had made yesterday.

Alex was not a sociable person. While he was more than capable of holding a conversation when he was acting in the guise of someone he had consumed by using their stolen appearance and memories, when he was himself he was never quite sure what to do or say. Part of this was because he was naturally disinclined towards making small talk, he knew. For him, conversations were made with clearly defined purposes in mind. They were a means to an end. But another part of him wondered if even that was merely the result of how his experiences in Manhattan had shaped him.

Back then, the people he dealt with were most often either enemies or allies, and the way he spoke reflected that fact. Not even Dana, his own sister, was exempt from this. Although he cared for her, almost every conversation he had ever had with her had been made with some definite goal in mind, whether that be discussing how to get to some person of importance, how to stop the virus, or whatever else. On the rare occasions where he had tried to reach out to her as her brother, as a person, the results had been... lackluster. And if he had so much trouble talking with his own sister, then what the hell was he supposed to say to this near total stranger who claimed to want to talk to him for no other purpose than to be his friend?

When he thought about it like that, he found himself floundering, like a man adrift at sea.

Alex wished that Henrietta would say something first, but he knew that wouldn't be fair. It was his fault that their previous conversation had ended on such a sour note, so he needed to be the one to take the first step here. Though there was always the option to just continue this silence all the way to their destination, in the end, he was also curious about this girl before him.

She knew he was not human. She had seen at least a taste of one of the most horrific things he could do to another living creature. Yet, despite that, she did not seem to fear him. Why? Most people when they saw him consume something were terrified. Were her nerves simply made of a stronger stuff? Was she genuine in her professed desire to make friends with him? Alex didn't believe that, he decided. He couldn't believe it. The reality of magic put aside, that was just too absurd.

And yet, somewhere deep inside him, Alex wondered: what if he was wrong?

To his own surprise, he hoped that he was. It was suspicious, certainly, yet also oddly refreshing having someone look at him without an ounce of fear or hatred. Not even Dana had ever looked at him that way. Alex could still remember with terrible, regretful clarity the way she trembled and cringed back from him after he had punched a hole straight through the chest of the Blackwatch soldier attempting to take her away, and again when he revealed what he had become, what he could do, what he was meant to do.

God, he wished he could turn back time. He hated seeing how scared Dana had been because of him, even if she did manage to bring herself to accept him and what he had become by the end.

This was a chance, Alex suddenly realized. If Henrietta truly was being honest with him, then this was an opportunity he had never had before. Here, with her, he would be able see something beyond the death and destruction, the monsters that had ravaged Manhattan. What that "something" was, he didn't know yet. But whether he was right or wrong about her, the only way he would find out is if they started talking.

With that in mind, Alex took a deep breath and decided to just go for it.

"Listen," he said. "About the things I said the other day... I want to explain myself better."

"All right," Henrietta nodded. "What do you want to say?"

"You wanted to know what I am, and I told you that you wouldn't understand," Alex said. "I wasn't trying to insult you or anything when I said that. I meant it literally. If you want to know what I am – what I am really – you're going to need certain knowledge that I don't think actually exists in this world yet." And for that, Alex was grateful. Regardless of what he decided to do from this day forward, he had absolutely no intention of ever telling this girl about the Blacklight virus, a bioweapon designed to destroy life as they knew it. At best, it would only frighten her. At worst, she might even turn against him. No, keeping that part of himself a secret was the right thing to do, and it would be so much easier to do just that when she wouldn't know what he was talking about even if he did tell her.

"This world?" Henrietta frowned.

"Yeah, that's the other thing," Alex said. "See, I'm not from this world. When you summoned me, your magic – somehow – brought me over from my world to here." Alex nearly snorted. Somehow. He had a feeling he was going to be using that word a lot in these coming days.

"That... is hard to believe," Henrietta said slowly. "I've never heard of a familiar being summoned from across worlds. Or, indeed, of there being other worlds at all."

"And I've never heard of magic being real until yesterday," Alex retorted. "Doesn't mean it's not."

"It certainly would explain why I've never heard of anyone or anything like you before," Henrietta mused. "And why you were so surprised by my spell yesterday."

Alex disagreed. He thought he had been remarkably well composed considering she had taken a shit on his understanding of physics. But he supposed that was a matter of perspective.

"Magic only exists as fiction or tricks that anyone can do with a bit of practice and preparation in my world."

"Hmm..." Henrietta bit her lip contemplatively. "I wonder if Louise's familiar is also from your world, then. I was thinking that he appeared too foreign to be from any of the known lands of this world. Perhaps you know? His name is Saito. His manner of speech is rather like yours."

"Saito?" Alex frowned. "That sounds like a Japanese name. Won't know for sure without meeting him, but, yeah, he could be."

"You'll get your chance," Henrietta said. "I plan on inviting Louise to visit me at the palace at a later date. For now, please continue what you were saying."

"Right," Alex said. He noticed that a hint of reluctance had wormed its way into his voice. He was having second thoughts. He had already resolved not to tell Henrietta about the Blacklight virus, but then what should he tell her instead? She had shown him remarkable kindness and patience, and he wanted to reciprocate with honesty. But all of a sudden, the notion of telling her anything at all seemed like it was one thing too much, and that filled him with trepidation.

"Alex?" Henrietta frowned when she saw him hesitate. "Is something the matter?"

"No, I'm fine," Alex replied. He made his decision then. Aside from the most essential truths, he would be as honest with her as she wanted him to be. And if even that much of the truth scared her and she was repulsed by him because of it, then so be it. Better that happen now than later, before he got too attached to her, when the consequences would pain him as well. "I'm not human – you know that already. But I wasn't born like you were either. I was made. It's... complicated. I guess the simplest way to put it is to say that I'm an artificially created human, even if that isn't entirely correct."

"That's... that's impossible." Henrietta looked disconcerted. "Are the people of your world gods that they can breathe life from nothingness?"

"It wasn't exactly from nothing, and if they were gods, they wouldn't have made me," Alex spat. "I'm a weapon – a living weapon – made by sick men for sick purposes."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean exactly what I said," Alex answered. "I was made to kill my creator's enemies."

"I... see..." And this time, Henrietta truly did understand. Alex could see it in her eyes as they widened: the dawning realization of what he could do, or at least the beginnings of it. Her gaze shifted over to his clothes, then back to his face. "Your body... you can do more than just make clothes for yourself, can't you?"

In response, Alex held up one hand and transformed it into a set of claws – four wicked talons, each over a foot long, made of a steel-like substance and whose bladed edge was sharper than any sword – while his arm warped into a gnarled mess of black muscles and tendons and glowing red veins and vessels to support the weight of the transformation.

Henrietta twitched in a brief moment of surprise, but that quickly passed, and Alex returned his arm to normal.

"Yes," Alex said, causing Henrietta to smile wryly at him, briefly.

"What happened to those people who made you?" she asked him with a somber look on her face.

"Them?" Alex shrugged. "Well, they died."

Henrietta frowned. "Were you the one who killed them?"

"Not all of them," he replied. "If you feel sorry for them, don't. They deserved everything that they got."

That did not look to reassure Henrietta at all. "Did you kill anyone else?"

Alex glanced out the window. "I did."

"How many?"

"I don't know." Alex shifted slightly in his seat. "Hundreds. Thousands. Too many to count."

"Surely they did not all deserve to die."

"No, they didn't," Alex gave a long sigh. "When I first woke up, I didn't have any memories. Didn't even know my own name, not at first. And I had enemies all around me. I did a lot of things to try to figure out who I was and what had happened to me, why they did this to me. And those things that I did... a lot of people died because of it."

"Alex..." Henrietta said slowly. "You know that I am the princess of this country. My duty is to protect the lives of my people."

"I know." Alex crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked back at Henrietta now. "So, what are you going to do?"

"That depends on you," Henrietta said. "Will you give me your word here and now that you won't do anything to harm my people without just cause?"

"I will," Alex said bemusedly.

"Then all is well," Henrietta said satisfactorily.

"Just like that?" Alex furrowed his brows. "That easily?"

"It is not an easy decision at all," Henrietta said. She hesitated. "Alex, this may sound strange, but may I touch you?"

"What?" Alex blinked at her, startled. "Why?"

"There is something I want to check," she said. "Please."

Alex stared at her warily for a moment, before nodding ever so slightly in acquiescence. He watched as Henrietta's hand came up to his face slowly, and he had to keep himself from flinching as he felt the smooth skin of her palm and fingers cup him by the cheek.

"As I thought," she said softly. "Do you remember what I said before, Alex? I want us to be able to trust each other. But for that to happen, one of us must take the first step in putting their trust in the other, I think. And as I was the one who brought you to this world, I will take that first step. I will not lie. The fact that you've killed so many people puts me ill at ease. If Cardinal Mazarin knew of this, he would surely tell me to send you away, or perhaps worse. But I want to believe that you will not harm me or my people. I know you will not."

"How can you know that?" Alex couldn't help but put forward.

Henrietta gave him a small, gentle smile, one filled with warmth and caring. "Because a weapon is something made of steel or powder, and those are cold to the touch. You are warm. I can feel it even now. And so I know: You are not a weapon, Alex. Regardless of what your creators intended you to be, you are not. You are my familiar, and I choose to trust you."

Alex shrugged Henrietta's hand away from him and stared at her with lips tightly pursed together. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that? What was he supposed to say now? He wasn't used to such closeness from others, and he found it made him feel altogether uncomfortable. He wasn't sure he liked it either. So he shifted his gaze back out the window and said nothing. And though they fell into another long silence, neither of them made any move to break the quiet for the rest of the ride home.