Chapter Five

I want to have fun with my own friends, people my own age, it's what being a kid should feel like but that's not all that I want. Despite the age difference between myself and Hiro, he is my younger brother and we both had had to grow up without our parents. Hiro barely knew our parents before their death and so it's my turn to look out for him. Yesterday, I was trying to go mountain biking with my friends but Hiro had to stay at home cooped up.

He's a smart kid so at the time, I didn't think much of it but he's also someone quiet who tends not to rely on others. Maybe I can make that easier for him.

I've collected some of the money that I've earned from helping Aunt Cass at the café and I found a great deal on a bike that Hiro would probably like. I'm excited to spend some quality time with my little bro. I see him exit the café and toss a helmet to him, he catches in and looks at me suspiciously.

"You better put that on if you want to come with me today," I wink and he rushes forward and his eyes widen as he sees the gift. I think this is better than anything that I could have bought myself. Hiro is happy and we're going to spend some time together. That's really what's best about being an older brother.

…..

…..

As I remember playing and spending time with Hiro when I actually could interact with him as his brother, I see a ball roll past me. I blink before realizing that it must have come from somewhere. I bat it with my paw and I hate to admit it but it's actually a lot of fun to play with. I shake my head, I have to get away from these thoughts. I bat it around from side to side before instinctively picking it up in my mouth and running to Aunt Cass to put it down. She pets my head and I see the complicated emotions on her face. I'm a puppy but I'm also her nephew.

"You enjoyed that, didn't you?" she asks before tossing it again and I feel my tail wag as I run over to it, my body seeming to act by itself instead of my head willing it. It's as if there's some kind of strange excitement in my mind. It's as if there's this feeling that it would be bad to let the ball roll away.

No. I'm not in a cage anymore. I'm not seeing people ordering me around and shouting orders at me. I shouldn't feel conditioned to do anything and yet, there's this great joy inside of me because of a ball. I'm losing my mind and I can't afford to do that.

"You're having difficulties aren't you?" Mochi asks as he stands by the doorway and sees me holding the ball in my mouth. "You'll get used to them."

I put the ball down and sit down, tilting my head to the side. It's so weird that Mochi can understand me more than Hiro and Aunt Cass do. I've really crossed over into animal territory now. I have to keep my composure, I have to try to think like a human despite the difficulty that I'm facing. "You can talk?" I ask and Mochi looks at me.

"Surely you know that animals talk to one another," he says as he stretches his body out. "You were so smart as a human, Tadashi," he laughs. I take a step back before bowing my head.

"Couldn't fool you?" I ask and he looks at me, studying me closely.

"Nope but you know that humans are often blind to animals. Pity, really?" Mochi says and I see Aunt Cass approaching the two of us. I'm starting to be more worried that I'm relating more with a cat than any person. Is it going to happen to me, the same thing that I saw with other dogs, am I going to lose all of my humanity.

"I…" I struggle and see Aunt Cass pet Mochi's head as she tells him that he's being a good cat and that she'll give him some special food tonight. I then feel her place one hand under my belly and with the other under my butt and pick me up.

"It's not too bad," Mochi tells me as he watches me get picked up, "Especially when you're young. They seem to know you're the same as you were before anyway. You should just get used to it," he tries to tell me and I nod slowly. Is that really the best idea? Don't I have any hope of being human again?

Aunt Cass sits down on the sofa and I see the same files with my human appearance next to her but she sets me down and scratches me behind the ear. I don't want my tail to wag but I can't control it. "Are you doing okay, honey?" she asks me lovingly and I look away, not really knowing how to respond. Maybe I can find some answers in the files. Aunt Cass picks me up and holds me close to her, my head resting on her shoulder.

"It'll be okay," she tells me as she runs one hand down my back whilst the other is holding me to her, "It'll be okay. Hiro will be home soon." She sniffs before kissing the top of my head, "How do I help you, Tadashi?" she asks and I turn to her, looking at her with those puppy dog eyes. "What can I do? Can you tell me?" she whispers as she gestures to the letters on the floor.

I shake my head sadly. I don't know what anyone could do in a situation like this.

…..

…

I don't feel connected right now. It's as if my body has been split and it's only being held together by loose threads. Even though I'm interested in furthering my work here, I'm struggling with ways of interacting with Tadashi. Maybe if he was bigger then I could take him here and he could watch me work but he's so small and unable to truly protect himself. I can't expose him to danger. I push a hand through my hair and sigh. There are too many complications.

"Hiro," Honey Lemon tells me as she leans down to see the expression on my face but I don't know what to give them, I don't know what they are looking from me. Maybe I should have tried to stay with him, not knowing what is going on is making me worried. "How are things going at home?"

"He's good, we've figured out a communication method, it's good," I tell her knowing that I'm being reserved and knowing that she'll be worried because of that but I can't help it. I definitely don't want to lie to her or to any of them but they don't understand the relief that I have of having him back in any form.

"That's good," she grins trying to use her optimism and kindness to show support. "I mean, it must be great having him back home. I'm excited for when we get to see him again."

"Yeah, it's gonna be awesome when he gets bigger," Gogo chimes in. "I mean, Dalmatians get pretty big right and he's smart. He's always been smart so it'd be pretty cool to see him grow."

"Or to you know," Wasabi chimes in, "have him become human again. I think we'd all welcome him back with open arms in whatever form he's in but I do hope that we get to see him as a human again instead of that fake body."

"You should bring him in though I'm not sure the rules on animals in here and then I don't want him to be -"

"We should go to the park together," Honey Lemon suggests and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and if I'm feeling overwhelmed right now then who even knows how Tadashi would feel around all of them. I'm glad that they know but I'm feeling extremely protective about my brother. Would they even help him if he was in trouble? He's a puppy, he can't take care of himself, he requires Aunt Cass and I to take care of him.

"Yea-Yeah," I shrug with a weak laugh. "Sounds good."

"How about if we have a picnic and have Fred host it," Gogo suggests and that actually feels a little better for me. We'll be in a secure environment and Tadashi will have people who really care about him despite his new form. It's always important to surround yourself with your loved ones and these are his loved ones. I take a shaky breath in before nod nervously. Hopefully this will be okay for everyone involved.

"Sounds good," I laugh weakly but my brain is trying to decide whether this is best for him or not.

…..

…..

I'm a little uncertain about this but I managed to go into a pet store this afternoon and picked up a squeaky toy and some dog treats. I mean, am I insulting my brother by buying these things or am I catering to his needs. I want it to be the second one. I don't mean him any harm and I really do want to make sure that he feels connected.

I rush up to the house and then enter into the living room where I see him sleeping atop a pile of papers. I sigh and walk up to him slowly, putting my bag against the wall so I can see the rise and fall of his body as he breathes. He's still Tadashi, even in this tiny little body, he's still Tadashi.

I lean forwards to see that the papers underneath him are a copy of the documents that were beside him in the cage. I want to take them away from him and tell him that I'll worry about this for the both of us but he's my older brother and with our parents gone, he's always taken responsibility for me. I feel like I would be spitting in his face if I forgot that.

As he hears me, he opens his eyes and lifts his head, blinking whilst being extremely sleepy.

I reach forwards to touch him but he takes a few steps away from me, I see in his eyes the confusion that he's feeling and I don't understand it. He was fine when I left. "Hey, you feeling okay?" I ask him and he shivers as I reach out for him. Did something happen? Is he scared of something? I try to control my breathing but he looks terrified.

As I sit there, trying to figure out what to do, Mochi comes over and purrs as he rubs his body against Tadashi, I hear some meows and Tadashi slowly walks towards me, his eyes showing how trusting he is of me. "It's okay," I tell him not sure what to do. Why has he become so timid all of a sudden? "Tadashi?" I ask and he nods, I scratch him behind the ear.

"Are you afraid of me?" I ask him and he shakes his head. "Can I hol-hold you?" I ask and he nods. I don't know why my voice just broke like that but I pull him to my chest and then feel the tears in my eyes. I'm trying to be strong for him but it's hard to do. I didn't think that it could be this hard.

He nuzzled me with his nose and I see the pain in his eyes as he notices me being emotional and I shake my head, trying to rub away the tears and hide them from him. "It's nothing," I tell him. Is that true? I feel like I'm losing my big brother all over again.

End of Chapter Five

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