They couldn't ignore it.

It would be the understatement of the century if Weiss, Blake and Yang had to say there were some "minor inconsistencies" going around the team's overall character. Looking past all that had happened, truthfully, they actually had been performing admirably well. They got not only one, but technically two big-time criminals arrested under their team name, even if they explicitly did not work as a team for both cases.

All while they had to deal with what was probably Remnant's worst team leader of all time in absolutely anything ever.

Ah, yes, Ruby Rose. A Huntress prodigy, in hindsight, overshadowed by her recent addiction to alcohol, and even smokes occasionally, regardless of the girl tried to disprove anyone even after failing to smoke properly. The girl wasn't ever that bright outside of her field of expertise, which was as she named her own Pokemon, "fuck shit up." They had to deal with this newfound… "quirk" of hers for quite some time.

So their horror when she smiled brightly at them wasn't completely unfounded, they felt.

"Hey, Weiss, you think I can go out tonight?"

She beamed. They could feel the polite smile emanating, filling the entire room with its unexpected aura. On one hand, they unanimously felt something rise in their hearts. Yang stared at her sister with what was essentially eye candy porn involving men's abs, Blake held actual porn with an incredulous look, and Weiss gaped at Ruby from the textbook she studied from.

This feeling… was unfortunately not joy that their team leader returned to her normal form.

It was nostalgia.

They knew more than anyone that Ruby was still drunk as fuck. That aura emanating from her wasn't actually just some good vibe, it was literally the scent of alcohol overcoming the room's numerous aroma sprays in an attempt to not make the dormitory seem like it was a constant teenage disaster. But the smile she gave almost made them cry, and in fact, made them tear up just a bit. Even Weiss, who actually started to miss it when a dorky but good-intended Ruby would shyly ask for her advice.

They wanted to make this moment last… just a bit longer. To savor the taste of something that reminded them of simpler times.

"Ruby…"

"Y-Yeah?"

Even Ruby's smile faltered a bit, as she noticed how freaking weird the mood had become as Weiss took a deep, but unsteady breath. The Schnee heiress would swallow, not knowing how to break down what she was about to say without destroying this… façade. This beautiful moment.

But in the end, she knew she had to do it. Yang's and Blake's pleading eyes tempted her not to, and to give into Ruby's demands, but as a prideful Schnee, must she knew she had to be a voice of reason here.

She opened her mouth.

"Give up. You're still grounded after your last escapade."

In an instant, Ruby's angelic smile transformed to a frown that hated the world as she snarled, rolling her eyes. "Another fuckin' garbage ass day. Fantastic."

And just like that, something inside the WBY of RWBY died that day. Again. The Ruby Rose they knew was asleep- maybe even dead. No amount of tolerance to this creature named "Ruby Rose" would compare to how much of a shining star their true team leader had been. Blake almost sobbed as she shook her head, "I miss her so much."

"She was a good girl," Yang agreed. She took it far better than she had initially, but that didn't mean a part of her would die inside after what she just witnessed.

Meanwhile, even Weiss mourned, "I… should have gotten along with her more when I had the chance."

"I'm right fucking here, assholes!"

Rude Ruby

There weren't many times Ruby considered it, but she forgot Beacon actually had a headmaster.

Sometimes the lack of inaction from his part made her wonder if he was too busy shoving his cane up his ass to express whatever emotion he doesn't show to his students, but even then she could see him being completely straight-faced in that regard. She had no idea what his deal was, but quite frankly, she probably would've wanted to kill herself if she knew more about the aloof headmaster.

Headmaster Ozpin. A man fabled to many a tale, many that were surely not true, but almost hit close. But she didn't give a shit if he had many stories about him- the guy himself looked like a nerd and he very certainly spoke like he fornicated with Shakespeare under a cringing Teletubby sun. Next to him stood Glynda Goodwitch, who seemed to have much more of a neutral expression towards her than even Ozpin. Or was it that she forced herself to look that way? She swore the corners of her lips twitched to a frown occasionally.

"Miss Rose," Ozpin greeted with his elbows resting against his desk, his finger-locked hands covering his mouth as he seemingly peered into her soul. "It's been quite a while. I take it the school year is going well?"

"I got grounded by my own fucking team."

"…A minor inconvenience, at worst, I suppose," he concluded.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "What's the occasion, anyway?" She asked. "I didn't think I'd be called up here- not that I had any plans today."

Though a part of his face was covered, she could tell a small smile appeared on his face. "It's a rather simple thing, I suppose. I'd personally like to thank you for having handled the Adam Taurus situation- entirely on your own, a Huntress-in-training, to boot."

Hearing that name absolutely pissed her off and evidently ignited something within her as she suddenly screamed, "Bitch didn't even have anything good on him! That was a massive waste of time."

"Ruby Rose," Glynda closed her eyes as she sighed with a stern tone, "I shall only state once to tone down your language. I understand talking roughly among friends if that is your preference, but this is the headmaster you're speaking to."

"I'd like to suggest you hurry up, Miss Goodwitch."

"…Pardon?" Glynda opened her eyes, confusion evident in her face as she stared at Ruby.

The red rose let a shit-eating grin cross her features as she off-handedly spoke, "Not all men like their eggs past the expiration date."

Much to her luck (or lack of it), Glynda's Scroll suddenly rang as Ruby spoke. "Ah, it's from General Ironwood. It appears to be related to the upcoming Vytal Tournament." She turned to Ozpin, who gave her a small nod. "Please excuse me." As she left the office, Glynda left Ruby and Ozpin alone.

And thus, there were two. Ruby grumbled silently.

"I'd offer you some cookies and milk, Miss Rose," Ozpin commented, "but I believe you'd prefer a drink at this point."

At this, Ruby's eyes sparkled for a moment as she straightened herself. "A drink? You have any? Like… not the 'haha orange juice get jebaited' kind of shit?" She had been literally starving for alcohol at this point, being forcefully abstained from it by her teammates- Ice Queef specifically- and she would do anything to stop feeling half-sober half-drunk. Better being on one side than in the middle of two shitty feelings.

"I did not imply so," Ozpin admitted, immediately causing her to roll her eyes. "However, I have called upon you specifically for another matter."

"Let me guess. Another mission?"

"I made it somewhat clear it would be, yes."

Ruby's eyes slowly moved to the side, that in itself being a feat considering it was Ruby who did so. Sitting next to her was a certain blond boy who scratched his cheek.

Scratch that. There weren't two- there were three, she just completely forgot this noodle existed.

"Yeah. Now it's clearer than the gaping asshole of an Ursa. When the hell were you here, Jaune?"

"I came with you."

She actually had a loss for words. Was this man's Semblance "invisibility through irrelevance?" How the hell did he manage to be more inconsistent than her team's sexuality?

Regardless, Ozpin stated, "Through some evaluation, I believe that this mission is only possible for the two of you. As I know you must be busy as team leaders, but also have expressed interest regarding 'extra credit,' I believe this can be a middle ground for all of our expectations."

Ruby tilted her head. "Does this involve the city or something?"

"Yes, Miss Rose," the headmaster nodded, though a somewhat sly smile crept in. "Quite particularly, it involves downtown to some extent."

At the mention of that, Ruby straightened herself ever so slightly. She didn't need to ask or think about it a second time in regards to what he implied. "What exactly would the mission be, then?" Jaune asked, curious that Ozpin would ask him and Ruby of all combinations of people to ask.

His smile faded slightly as he placed three pictures on his desk, sliding them towards the two. They leaned over, though Ruby grumpily shoved Jaune ever so slightly when they practically squished their shoulders against one another to look. One picture had a building Jaune in particular seemed to recognize, which was some kind of comic book store that Ruby used to like. Another picture had a large group of Faunus located directly outside the store, though they appeared to be holding a substantial amount of crates.

The third picture was the same picture, but zoomed in closer. It had Adam Taurus in it.

…Adam Taurus? Wait a minute…

…

…

"…Who?" Both Ruby and Jaune asked simultaneously.

For a very split moment, Ozpin almost felt bad about how quickly one of the White Fang leaders had fallen out of relevancy, perhaps even moreso than Jaune's own apparent relevancy to Ruby. But he explained, "This man in particular is a doppelganger, and we've had reports on him from several other missions, but we're unsure of his actual identity. One thing I can say for certain is that Adam Taurus is certainly locked up and behind bars- and this man is using his identity to potentially rile up White Fang activity in its Vale sect.

Ruby raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms as she leaned back against her seat again. "Odd flex, but alright," she muttered. "Kinda weird you'd disguise yourself to have someone else's balls, but I guess he just swings that-"

"Ruby, I think this guy's not cosplaying as Adam because he likes him, he's just using his reputation."

"Jaune, I swear to God if you end up becoming my middleman I'm going to drive a Boartusk so far up your ass you're gonna learn what it's like to scream my name when I'm not on my safe-"

"I thiiiink we got the picture, Professor!" Jaune quickly interjected, clearly not hoping to hear the end of her threat. Truthfully, Ozpin appreciated Jaune's haste.

"The goal of this mission is simple: to learn of what their presence in that area is, as it has become a bit of a scheduled occurrence, it seems. I choose the two of you rather than your respective teams as I believe that a small team will do much better in this small request, on top of both of you exhibiting synergy between your teams."

Ruby had opened her thermos as Ozpin spoke, shaking it occasionally before she sighed depressingly. The thought of being able to go to Vale and potentially snatch some booze seemed to become so much more precious for her.

"All you need to do is report back when you're sure about your findings. Learning about this doppelganger will be helpful, but not a top priority. You two have exhibited quite an adequate understanding regarding this district, and I trust that I am not mistaken in choosing the two of you for this."

Ozpin made a mistake in choosing the two of them for this.

The flight down to Vale being a nauseous nightmare aside, Jaune was certain that "them understanding the district" wasn't the only reason behind him suddenly sending the two of them here. It may have had to do with the recent talks surrounding Ruby existing within Beacon Academy's boundaries. Obviously, he'd stand up for his friends-

"Holy fucking shit, did you see the size of that ass? That's what we call a whole dumptruck."

Most of his friends.

Having Ruby walk next to him felt like a powder keg with a lit fuse, but at the very least, he hadn't summoned his weapon locker or had some kind of massively obscure problem toward her out of almost everyone within RWBY and JNPR. Kind of depressing when he thought about it, but it was less about them disliking her behavior and moreso that he was kind of used to being a punching bag.

He remembered his team members almost pleading him not to leave with Ruby, even offering to take his spot if it meant anything to save him. Jaune appreciated the thought, but at the same time he wondered just how badly did Ruby traumatize them to the point where they couldn't even trust their leader to walk next to her for a few minutes.

Then there was Ruby's team, who all sent him letters. Letters of apology, and statements regarding how they'd buy him something nice for lunch later if he survived. He was certain they believed he'd survived, but the fact that they included the latter showed their undying(?) faith to their drunken midget of a leader.

The leader of RWBY took a swig of her refilled thermos as she let out a happy sigh, moaning on about something regarding how drinking helped kill her own liver. Even he had to admit that drinking out in the open as a Huntress-in-training legitimately differentiated her from all the other "specimen" people could probably think of. He heard of fully trained Huntsmen drinking, but this?

Hoo boy.

"You know Jaune, maybe Professor Ass Spin might just-"

"Ozpin."

"-Glockspin might just be a decent guy, sending us out like this."

Jaune raised an eyebrow at her. "You think?"

"Hic."

Damn, I forgot rule number one with her: "Don't ask her anything."

Still, he couldn't help but do so. The girl had helped him before after he talked with her regarding his own leadership capabilities. Had it not been for her, he might just not have had the foundation of some of the grit that formed as he trained up. Ruby had been chatty, so he ended up being chatty with her as a natural result.

The problem was that Ruby remained chatty, but the raw words that left her mouth sometimes made him wonder if the human privilege to use verbal languages was a mistake in the long run.

"So." He jumped when she suddenly started without him prodding on to say something. "Beat the shit out of anyone yet?"

"…Huh?"

The girl snickered as she tried to using her fingers to emulate a stick entering a hole. "You know, give some loser an ass fuck by beating the fuck out of them in a match? Don't tell me you don't get off that in the rare times you win in combat class."

"Ruby, winning in combat class doesn't sexually satisfy me."

Ruby's eyes sharpened- for how much they could- as she yelled, "Bitch, the fuck I look like, Elmo?! I know what I said the first time. And I bet you didn't even make a bitch scream in the sheets yet! Good going, fuckin' Vir-Jaune."

The blond boy blushed furiously as he snapped back at her, "What is up with you constantly talking about me doing that stuff?! I don't think this is the first time you even mentioned it."

"Not many people impress me like you do, Jaune."

He blinked.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Your virgin energy alone can fill in the void of the power of friendship."

Sometimes he wondered if the afterlife had VIP spots for dying twice over inside.

"We're almost there," Ruby stated flatly as she looked at her map upside down. For some reason, she legitimately couldn't read it otherwise. "Let's park ourselves at a nearby bench and pray you don't get anally fisted by excited green-eyed redheads."

"The heck's that last part supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

…

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"…You don't, do you?"

"Yep."

"Do you think blond people are goldfish reincarnated?"

"That's just up for debate now, isn't it?"