Don't Own Rwby, Only The Oc
'thought'
"Speech"
"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."
(Mid Chapter Authors Notes)
WEEELLL WEEEELLLL WELL LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE! I-is this a chapter?! 'But flame?! I thought you only posted on Fridays... or Sundays... Or Saturdays... Or that one time you posted on a Thursday...'
I GOT BORED OKAY! :c
Here have this!
"Eh." I sigh as I blankly stare up at the ceiling.
I look over to Aberrant who is tightly curled up, lying on the ground, still taking up more than half of the room.
"What would the most mischievous and fun thing for me to do be?" I ask the mutant grimm.
It tilts it head and holds out a claw and dips it into a small square sand box.
"R..."
"E..."
"L..."
"I..."
"C..."
"Relic?"
It nods.
"The fuck do you mean by that- oooooh... the relics created by light boi..."
The grimm nods again.
"I wonder if I steal that creation staff if I could make stand arrows... or the dragon balls... or the death note... or maybe even replicate sword birth and blade blacksmith from the anime that shall not be mentioned..."
'to be honest... I think that the staff would be the only one I could steal because its general size and shape...'
The grimm growls twice.
"Try it?"
Aberrant nods.
"Fiiine." I sigh.
A tennis ball sized portal comes to life in front of my hand, it sparks slightly and instantly closes.
"Eh... didn't really think it would work anyway... They are like in a totally different dimension only accessible by maidens, right?"
The grimm snorts and lays its head back down.
"Sorry, buddy."
I yawn and exit the upside down, once again finding myself in the upper district of Atlas.
I spend the remaining hour or so of the morning pickpocketing entitled little shits of their lien... clearly, I need it more than them at the moment considering I have literally nothing to buy food- I mean I could always steal some, but I want to eat fast food again damnit!
Someone taps my shoulder.
"Hm? Need something?" I hum as I look over to a tall man with a single piece of metal over his right eyebrow- oh fuck... that's James Ironwood
"Why are you all alone here, Child?" He asks as he kneels down to my level.
I blink at him.
"Because the world is a fucking hellhole, I can rely on nobody, and everyone looks out for themselves?"
He flinches at my really blunt response.
I yawn and walk away. "Byeo"
'damn... instead of portals I should have picked a Stand... or Hamon... that would have been pretty cool-'
Ironwood coughs into his fist.
"Nobody cares about you, side character, I'm having an inner monologue." I growl.
Then I fall through the floor, uttering a final "People these days..."
"MUAHAHAHAH!" I cackle in a satirical manner, pointing my index finger at a random tree standing across from me. "You are already dead."
"….?!" Wind blows the branches slightly.
The tree is suddenly split in half by a blade of water that spouts from a portal shaped to resemble a gash.
"AAAYE! I was able to actually do it this time!" I exclaim.
"…"
"maybe I am TOO powerful..." A gust of wind blows my hair slightly.
"…"
"Damn one punch man scenario..."
I look to the beowolf- a normal EEEVIL beowolf- falling through an endless loop of portals, having already reached terminal velocity and had its arms n legs ripped off from when it tried to leave.
I launch the- now limbless- beowolf towards another that had been pinned to a tree by a couple of sharp sticks through its arms and legs.
"Bye Bye~"
The limbless grimm collides with the chest of the second, shattering its ribcage and killing both.
"D.E.A.D."
My fire portal appears and gives the grimm smoke the good ol SUCC, transporting the grimm dust inside where I am working on my next creation!
'oh wow... it's done! Just wait! The next thing to piss me off is getting FUCKED UP!'
I yawn as I hop up into a branch. "nooow where in the wide and wonderful world am I?"
"In OUR territo-" gruff balding man begins to shout, but I silence him by tossing a couple of logs at him.
"…"
"You startled me... " I deadpan toward the pile of logs.
'hmm... last time I checked I was somewhere in... Mistral?'
A grey hand stops a blade inches from my head.
"Ah? A chakram? So thaaat's where I am." I hum.
'actually, the readers might get pissy if I don't call it the correct weapon... hmmm... the cross between a chakram and a deer horn knife then...'
Another fist impacts the stomach of the EXTREMELY short haired woman that tried to strike me.
"G-GUH-" she winces as she is sent flying.
"Come on." I sigh. "That's kind of pathetic!"
Vernal rolls off the tree and lands crouched on the ground.
"W-what was that?" She mutters as she presses her hand against her stomach.
Hup" I grunt as I hop off my own branch and land on the ground below.
I roll my shoulders and grin. "So, you want to fight eh?"
Four arms appear out of portals behind me.
"you think you can kill a god?"
She points both of her weapons at me.
"…"
*Bwee*
I tilt my head to the right as two thin beams of light go through where my left eye would have been.
I sigh and hold up a hand as the four arms of Abberant- now named Jeff because Abberant was tiring to say- pick up arrows and fling them at the bandit in front of me.
She manages to parry them quite easily.
"Fine then, all out it is." I roll my eyes.
I summon a Grimm portal in front of me, crackling blue energy sparking from the sides to the ground where it slightly tears the ground.
"Bang."
A spear shoots out of the portal and imbeds itself right where Vernal's chest used to be, but she managed to avoid it by leaping to the side.
She lands a couple feet to the left and crosses her arms, folding her weapons to a more compact state as she does.
"Interesting semblance, Portals, right? But there is something strange about it... what are those arms?" She asks. "You have already lost, I'm faster than you and stronger than you, the only reason you landed a blow is because you caught me off guard, you might as well be sporting about it."
"Sure, why not?" I shrug. "I can do many things, what you are currently seeing is my ability to absorb grimm smoke and turn it into amalgamations of grimm, recently I figured out I can even turn them into weapons and armor, plus I can even grant them special effects based on how much grimm essence I pack into them."
"Damn." She whistles. "That's pretty unique."
"The special effects are powerful as well" I grin. "Take that spear for instance."
Her eyes widen as she tries to leap away.
The spear has a black shaft and a red triangle tip, along the back side of the spear tip are two barrels that instantly spit out flames as it punches completely through the tree and flies through a portal.
One of Jeffs arms catch the spear and toss it at Vernal as she leaps through the air, this time, the tubes fully spitting out gouts of flame as the spear rockets towards her and collides with her stomach. "GAH-"
She slams into a tree and flies through it, grunting as her aura takes the brunt of the strike.
I let out a long breath, drawing in two of Jeff's arms. 'shouldn't have tossed those logs at that dude.'
"If you are still conscious, I'll be forced to show you my Special Attack!" I shout in the direction that she flew.
My own spear flies towards my head, stopped inches from my eye by two of Jeffs arms.
"Meep!"
I turn around and sprint on the other direction as Jeff pulls the spear back into the portal with his arms.
'FUCK! OUT OF POWER!'
"NIGERUNDAYO!"
"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
"AAAAA-"
I place my hands on my knees and breath heavily.
"alright... I think I lost her."
"Ahem."
I look up to see her lazing in a tree with her arms behind her head.
"…"
A portal to the upside down opens behind me and I flip her off with both hands, then I leap backwards.
"Ack-" she kicks me in the forehead.
The world goes black.
"Oh wow... you did a number on the brat..." A female voice sighs. "I had to awaken his aura for him to even survive that blow to the head."
"How was I supposed to know he didn't have Aura? He was tossing around portals and shit like nothing." Vernal grumbles.
"It is fine, Vernal, most powers come from aura, and considering that he is male, I would have made the same mistake... however he would have perished nigh instantaneously." The first voice continues. "He should be waking up any time now... be here when he does."
"Alright."
I wait for the sounds of the other woman to leave.
"I know you're awake, Little Shit, your breathing quickened."
I fall into the floor- *Clang*
I am now hung upside down in the upside down by one of my ankles.
"…"
"You didn't notice the chain, did you?" Vernal asks as she looks down at me.
"Maybe my favorite pastime is hanging upside down? You don't know!" I pout.
She grabs the chain and tugs me out of my portal.
"Three..." I count.
"What are you doing?" She asks with a quirked eyebrow.
"Four..." I blink as I realize she asked me a question. "Oh, just counting how many times I could have already killed you."
She drops me and scoffs. "Yeah right."
"Water in your lungs, dirt in the lungs, dripping magma down your throat, just warping you several miles up into the sky, making you drop through a portal that closes around your neck, teleporting you to the bottom of the sea, tossing you into a pit filled with grimm, opening a portal inside your heart and watching in satisfaction as blood squirts out of the hole and onto the g- Ow-"
She punches the top of my head. "Oi, quit. it." She growls.
"Five~" I grin.
She grabs the chain and trips me with it, then she picks me up by the ankle, removing the chain, then carries me away.
"Rude." I frown. "And just so you know, you fucking communist, I can get away at any time I want..."
"Mhm." She hums with half lidded eyes as she continues walking.
"Oi! Take me seriously! I am a BIG threat! I can blow up the effin' planet if I really wanted to!"
"Keep telling yourself that, kiddo." She shrugs and continues.
"If you don't let me go, I'll be forced to use that one item I made! The gauntlet that doubles my power every 10 seconds!"
"Yeah, you toootally have that."
"I do!"
"…"
"I could technically make it?"
"Look, that sounds cool and all, but to be fair... you call running away a 'Special Attack', so forgive me if I ignore your threats..."
"…"
"that's fair..." I nod. "But want to know what is also fair?"
"?" She blinks down at me.
"ME KNEEING YOU IN THE FUCKING FA-"
She shifts her grip and now is holding me by both ankles.
"…"
"Ok then." I sigh.
"Chief." She begins speaking to someone behind me. "He is awake."
I roll my eyes.
"I can see that..." A voice answers.
Vernal turns me around.
"Sup." I grin as I tilt my head at Raven.
She blinks at me, then looks up to Vernal. "Why is he taking this so well?"
"Because the true dark sides of life elude me?"
"I personally think he might be partially insane due to a concussion." Vernal states.
"Fuck you lady, my forehead is still sore... and I prefer the term 'psychopath'."
"Mphmmer mhm mrr mhmhm" their voices slowly deteriorate into mumbles and distorted words.
'My name's Elroy, and this elligator travels at about fifteen miles an eewah!... *Sigh*… I miss memes.'
Vernal thumps my forehead.
"Hm? What? I zoned out there for a second."
"Use your powers to grant us boons, and we will allow you to live here." Raven frowns, most likely slightly miffed at having to repeat herself.
"Uh- you do realize I can just live INSIDE my powers, right?"
"Allow me to rephrase that..." Raven begins. "Use all of your powers to grant us Ammunition, Weapons, Controllable Grimm, and Armor, and I will let you live."
"…"
"Wouldn't I just be able to teleport away when you aren't looking?"
"No." Raven smirks slightly. "Because MY semblance functions by allowing me to open portals directly to people I am bound with, and I used that ability on you, no matter where you go, or what you do, I will be able to follow you... and if you try to run... well..."
"Huh..." I hum with a frown. "Okay then."
She turns around and walks away.
I turn to Vernal who is still holding me by my ankles. "So... got anything fun to do around here?"
PAHAHAH omfg this little fucking kid just went on all of my active stories and told me to kill myself XD just fucking leave already.
Guest Reviews:
GuymanV2: "GO KILL YOURSELF"
.
After you~ (and at least you didn't misspell that!)
.
Guest 001: "Before I knew what the fic was about I thought it said portals and pizza. Can that be something you do. "Pizza delivered lickity split"."
.
…
didn't... you already say that?
.
Themasterguest: "EVERYONE WAIT, you know what teal is missing? A THEME SONG, every badass character in anime has a cool theme song (some are so cool that their abilities themselves have theme songs ex: dragon ball super). yep we need a badass theme song for our badass protagonist."
" Wait a minute. Portals to everywhere? Portals to dragon ball dimension. Suck in stray energy beams. Blast the shit out the fools who cross your way. Portals to space? Portals to meteors. METEORITE SHOWER."
" When teal gets REALLY bored he can just send Salem a little message: maybe just a note that says, " dear Salem and then it's just a drawing of a butt, or maybe just leave a bag of literal flaming shit on her front door"
.
Oh, he has one... it just isn't revealed yet because it is sort of relevant to stuff and things~
He is far too weak to just flat out 'zippity zorp this portal goes to Jupiter' and he doesn't really have dimensional travel yet.
And... he could... I guess... it is possible...
.
Yoyo: "A wonderful idea if you ever see Goblin Slayer pisode where he use a portal scroll connect to the bottom of the ocean where the water pressure is very high so when he you open the scroll he releases a high pressure water blade to cut through you you tube Goblin Slayer vs. Ogre"
.
I know... that was one of the first thought I had when thinking 'how does one attack with portals'
.
6011: " How many portals can he open at once?"
.
A lot.
.
Cf96: " If Sean looked into the portal that he sent the fly through do you think he'd see two cores one(blue) regretting an earlier betrayal and the other(orange) screaming about SPACE! 😉"
.
Well, first off, he- or his eye if he created an eye-sized portal- would be sucked into space because it is a vacuum, and second, yes.
.
Portal: "You should totally do a scene with teal trolling Raven showing her who's boss with the better portal. Since teal has the better portal Powers compared to Raven 1 that just open a portal to people she's bonded with."
.
Meh, maybe as an omake.
.
GoTeam: " So what's the pairing? I hope for Ruby. And are you going to make Neo part of his team in beacon. Also you should try the interaction of Raven and him. Two portal user one obviously better since you're can be used for many things while hers can only be used with those she has a bond with. You can make a troll scene showing who are the superior portal user is."
.
Probably going to be Ruby as the paring, and Neo will probably be on his team.
As for the raven thing... as seen above...
.
Guymanv2: "you know i would like if this character was ,chaotic neutral."
.
Boi you know you wouldn't use the term 'chaotic neutral' without me.
.
NeonNinja219 "Definitely loving the awesome new addition to your shota of doom main characters! How long is the remnant gamer going to be on a break for? Also yay TealxRuby 🙂"
.
Im doing a sort of rotation thing of Remnant Gamer Portals And Pizzazz Monster Huntersman, so it is really a 2 week hiatus after each chapter... but ill be damned if it doesn't work well! I ACTUALLY HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR PORTALS AND PIZZAZZ PREPARED AFTER THIS AND IT IS SO FREAKING NICE TO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT POSTS! Though if something isn't ready yet ill just post whatever is done.
.
Ill: " Rather than swarming enemies with summoned Grimm, Aberrant becomes bigger and stronger for each Grimm destroyed...
And now we have an OP Shota that breaks the 4th wall...
Thanks for the chapter!"
.
That was kind of the plan, instead of regular grimm, he just summons powerful mutants.
.
Guest 002: " Teal should open two vertical portals that mirror each other and just start repeatedly walking through them while saying: what is real? What is real? To creep people out"
.
Uhhhhhhh-
.
Thanks to Grademaster for this WONDERFUL omake~ you're a bro!
Go check out him and his gamer fanfic 'A Wizard's Game'
Omake: Responsible use only (Noncanon)
"Yoinked!" Teal whispered quietly as he carefully took the sword from the pedestal. It was super ornate and shiny. Clearly an important thingy. He could imagine being dressed in douchey gold armor and waving it around to show off pretty easily.
"So this is the relic of destruction, huh?" Teal looked over the sword again critically. He suddenly turned around and took a step through the portal out of Shade academy's hidden basement. He was pretty sure nobody would be going down there but might as well not be there. It was super dusty too.
He fell right on top of his mattress to glance at the other two relics. The chalice… lamp? The relic of knowledge sat on a little plush pillow in the corner and the relic of creation, a blinged out pimp staff, in the other corner just sort of sitting there.
Sure maybe he shouldn't collect relics of mass destruction but you never know when you might want to whip out a godly artifact. Not like he wanted to mess with Ozpin's stuff anyways. Wherever the relic of choice was it didn't matter. Summoning the gods in the upside down would be pretty awkward. And cramped. Could they even stand up with such a low ceiling?
Better to not summon the super dragon gods.
"So what's this one do anyway?" Teal waved the sword lazily through the air. Nothing happened.
Such power! Amazing!
"Hmm." He glanced at the staff. After hardly a moment of thought he tossed the sword on his mattress and picked up the staff.
"Family size bag of Doritos." He declared. A bag fell on his head and slid off. After catching it he was about to open it when-
"Ugh. Ranch." He tossed the bag away in disgust and raised the staff. "Family-sized nacho cheese Doritos." Was it his imagination or did the bag hit his head harder? Like somebody threw it at him?
Nah.
Munching on his snack he was about to pick up the sword and swing it around a bit but, well, the relic of knowledge was right there.
It had two questions left, right? So… maybe he could use one?
"I'm not that lazy." Teal muttered. Then he looked at the nacho cheese Doritos and his fingers, which were caked in dorito dust, around the staff of creation.
"Meh." Teal was about to lay down when he stopped suddenly. "Lazy…" A large grin crept over his face and he looked at the staff of creation.
In another reality a god yelled angrily at nothing in particular.
"Playstation four!"
"Xbox!"
"Wifi router to earth!"
"Gold!"
"More nacho cheese Doritos!"
"Nacho cheese Doritos family sized you stupid staff!"
"More space!"
"Um… you know what I got nothing. At least I got something to do other than mess with Cardin."
See you all in the future!