Gut Punch

"Beca? Beca wake up!"

I jerked awake at the sound of my roommate's voice, Chloe's frantic scream still ringing in my ears. I looked up at Stacie seeing she was sitting on my bed with a concerned expression on her face and she was running her fingers through my hair soothingly.

"Are you okay? Bad dream?"

"I'm fine Stace. Thanks," I gave her a halfhearted smile and sat up in bed causing her to drop her hand from my hair. It was nice, but it was awkward for me since it reminded me of when Chloe used to do the same thing after I lost my mom.

"Sure. Who's Chloe?" Stacie asked me innocently. I could feel the blood rush to my face and tried to stutter out an answer at hearing the unexpected name from Stacie's lips.

"C-Chloe? Umm… why do you ask?"

She just smirked at me with a knowing look and said, "No reason. You were just saying her name in your sleep. You know, during your nightmare? She an ex or something?"

"Or something," I mumbled under my breath. I could tell she heard me though when I saw the triumphant smile on her face. "Dude, forget everything you heard. Please?" I begged her. The desperation in my voice must have been what made her cave. Either that, or she's just a good friend.

"Of course! But, I am here if you want to talk Beca. I won't judge. I promise." The earnestness in her voice surprised me.

"I might take you up on that someday Conrad. Just not today. I'm running late for class," I told her, giving her a warm smile. "Oh, and can you PLEASE start putting a sock on the doorknob or something! Last night was like the 5th time I've walked in on you and one of your boy toys." I mock glared at her as I threw on some clothes from my closet.

"What? You didn't like the show?" she retorted with a look of exaggerated innocence on her face.

"Eww, no!"

Stacie just laughed like what I said was hysterical and sat down on her bed to start painting her toenails. "Later B Mitch." She called out to me as I grabbed my bag and headed out the door.

"See ya Stace."

As soon as I closed the door behind me I leaned my back against it. That dream had shaken me more than I'd been letting on. I could feel the familiar moisture gathering behind my eyes as the muscles in my entire body were tensing up. I shut my eyes tightly and concentrated on my breathing to hold off the impending panic attack. My fingernails were digging furrows into my palms from being clenched so tightly, but after awhile they started to ease up and I could breathe normally again. I looked around, and seeing the hallway deserted I walked to the stairs to head to class. I was definitely late now.

I popped out the door of Baker Hall and the sun hit me full force in the face like a freaking hammer blow. Damn it was bright out. I needed to get some sunglasses. I shielded my eyes and let myself adjust to the brightness as I continued hustling to my morning Music Theory class.

"Beca, wait up!" I heard someone call from behind me. It was that dude from auditions, Jake or something. I forget. He was annoying anyway. I didn't slow down but I did wave slightly in acknowledgement.

"Whoa, slow down. Where are you headed in such a hurry?" This kid was persistent.

"Class. And I'm running late."

"Cool, cool. I'll walk with you. Where are we headed?"

I just pointed vaguely in the direction I was walking without answering.

"You're kinda hard to talk to, anyone ever told you that?" he asked accusingly.

I just glared at him and picked up my pace without responding. I didn't have time to fight with some random dude that was being way too familiar with me. I thought about telling him to fuck off, but decided to be more mature than that. So I flipped him off instead.

I was heading to the cafeteria during my lunch break, thinking about what I'd learned in class that morning that I could apply to my own music, when I saw my Chloe reading a book at a table by herself. This is my chance, I thought. I hustled over to the food line, grabbed a sandwich, an apple, and a bottle of water, and after I paid I started walking over to her table.

"Hey, mind if I sit?" I asked her. As she looked up I could tell she was surprised by the interruption. But a wide smile spread across her face when she saw it was me.

"Hey! Beca right?" I nodded with a smile that she remembered my name. She grabbed my hands with hers. "Please, sit! Your audition was so totes incredible! I can't wait to get you in the Bellas. It's going to be so fun. We'll be hanging out all the time since Bellas rehearsals are like, always, so we're going to be really fast friends."

I sat down a little stunned at her adorable rambling. There was a happy little flutter in my stomach as I recognized one of my favorite Chloe-quirks, and couldn't help the slight tremble in my lip as I smiled at her.

"Thanks. I'm not a Bella yet though."

"You will be, I'll make sure of it," and she winked at me. She winked at me! That little gesture caused a blush I tried to hide by ducking my head and taking a bite of my sandwich. As I was chewing, something occurred to me.

"Chloe, how are you already a Bella? I mean, aren't you a freshman?"

She gave me an odd look. "How did you know I was a freshman?"

Woops. "Umm…that's a freshman textbook right?" Grasping at straws, I pointed to the book she'd been reading.

"Oh yeah, you're perceptive!" I breathed a silent sigh of relief. "So, my roommate Aubrey, she's like, my best friend and a sophomore, was a Bella last year. All the other Bella's graduated, so she's the captain now. Anyway, she heard me sing and made me a Bella like, my first day here. I'm kind of her co-captain now. I'll make sure you get in."

"Cool. Thanks. It sounds fun," I glanced shyly up at her and hoped my gawking wasn't too obvious.

"Oh, it's totes fun. You're going to love it."

I tried not to, but I lost myself in her eyes for a moment. Those eyes I knew so well. That I'd spent hours of my life gazing into. Those eyes were my home. I was almost overcome with the emotion of gazing into them again when a guy sitting down next to Chloe broke my concentration.

"Hey babe, miss me?" He asked her before leaning in to kiss her lips. I schooled my expression into the most welcoming smile I could muster as my world bottomed out.

"Of course I did! Oh, Tom! This is Beca. She's totally going to be a Bella! Beca, this is my boyfriend Tom," as she introduced him she gazed at him with the most loving expression that used to be reserved for only me. As the jealousy flooded my system, I was reminded again that this was not my Chloe. This was not my world. And something was very wrong here.

I was too distraught after that heartbreaking lunch, so I just headed back to my dorm. I barged through the door and threw my bag against the wall. Then I grabbed my hair and screamed in frustration.

"Beca! Are you okay?"

I was so startled that I squeaked a little bit. I wasn't expecting Stacie to be home. Or for her to have company. Without a sock on the doorknob. Again.

"Dammit Stacie! Why is there not a sock on the doorknob!" I yelled at her and wore my most ferocious scowl. Stacie looked extremely taken aback.

"Drew, you better go," she said without even looking at him.

"It's Justin."

"That's what I said," she waved distractedly, still without looking at him. She walked slowly towards me with her arms out to her sides non-threateningly. "Beca, I'm sorry about the sock thing. I'll do better from now on. What's wrong?"

Justin saw me gearing up for a meltdown, and wisely fled before I could get started, shutting the door behind him.

"What's wrong!? What's wrong!? What isn't wrong! I killed the love of my life in a car accident five months ago. Except I wasn't driving, and I was the one who died, and now she has a fucking boyfriend! I killed myself but now I'm here and everything is so messed up! I don't know if I can do this anymore! I just… I can't…" I started hyperventilating, and my vision was extremely blurry from the tears streaming down my face. Stacie, to her credit, took all of that in stride and pulled me into her arms tightly.

"Shh…it's okay Becs. It's okay. Just breathe. That's it. Just breathe."

I listened to the sound of her voice and took comfort from her embrace.

After I calmed down, we sat side by side on the floor with her arm around me and my head on her shoulder. I passionlessly told her my story, not really giving a shit anymore if I ended up in a mental hospital. I'd just have to trust that Stacie wouldn't do that to me.

"And then he fucking kissed her. Right in front of me! I never wanted to rip someone's face off as bad as I did in that moment."

Stacie was silent for a couple of minutes as she processed everything I'd said. While I waited for her to tell me I'd needed help or to quietly excuse herself from our room to call someone to have me committed, I wasn't expecting what she said instead.

"Well, it seems to me like this is simple."

I looked up at her curiously, but didn't say anything.

She just grinned down at me and said, "Let's get you the girl."

My jaw must have dropped because she just started giggling. "Don't look so surprised shorty. I'm a physics major. While I may not fully believe everything you've said…yet…I do believe it's possible, so I will withhold judgment for now. Besides, if you're telling the truth, it's like, the most epic love story ever! Traveling to alternate worlds just to be reunited with the love of your life? And you can bet your cute butt that I'm going to help!"