Oh Look, She's Walking Away Again

"Aubrey, can I talk to you for a second?" I ask as our last practice before the fall mixer comes to a close. I'm avoiding meeting her eyes and fidgeting nervously as everyone else files out of the building looking at me curiously.

"Sure Beca, what can I do for you?" Oh no. She's being overly formal which means she's in a bad mood. Not good for me.

I wait until the last Bella leaves and closes the door behind her before turning to look at Aubrey with a deadly serious expression on my face.

"You know this performance is going to be a mess right?" Way to be blunt Beca. Well done.

"Aca-scuse me? What the hell does a little alt-girl like you know about acapella? This is my second year being a Bella, Beca, and I've been to Nationals. I know what it takes. You don't."

I hold my breath to stop myself from saying something that would be really unhelpful, and let it out when I'm ready to speak.

"You're right Aubrey. I don't really know much about acapella. You do, and you're doing a great job as captain. But please just hear me out. I know music. This set list you have for us does not fit the current Bellas at all. It does not fit Amy's excessive exuberance. It does not fit Stacie's effortless sexiness. It does not fit Cynthia Rose's soulful voice and hip hop style. The Bellas of the past may have been cookie cutter Barbie girls that blended together seamlessly on the songs you've chosen. But it won't work for the current Bellas." I wait with breathless anticipation for her response as I meet her narrowed gaze with my own steely determination.

"We are going forward with the set list as planned. Goodbye Beca."

I watch her storm out with a deep feeling of regret. I tried.

"So how'd it go?" Stacie asks when I catch up with her back in our room. She's wearing a tight black miniskirt and a white button up blouse tied at the bottom to expose her midriff. She's putting on makeup in the mirror and it's obvious the hunter will soon be going on the prowl.

I roll my eyes and lather my words in excess sarcasm, "Oh, it went fantastic."

"That well huh? She'll come around. Just wait until the fall mixer and we are embarrassed off the stage. Maybe that'll get through to her." Stacie tries cheering me up. Ever since she'd heard some of my mixes she's been on my case about talking to Aubrey.

"Maybe. She's the most stubborn person I've ever met though."

"I know right!?"

I grin sheepishly at her and say, "I just want to show Chloe I'm worth it, ya know? That I can take this thing she loves and make it amazing."

Stacie's face softens immediately. "I know Becs. And you will."

"I hate that she's been avoiding me. We had that amazing moment, and then… ugh! I hate this. I miss my Chloe! I miss holding her and kissing her and telling her I love her. It tears me up inside every time I see her with him. But at the same time, if she's happy…" I shrug my shoulders and let the sentence trail off since the words are still too painful to say. I can feel the tears start to well up in my eyes and will them not to fall. One escapes anyway despite my best efforts and I lazily wipe it away while avoiding Stacie's pitying gaze.

"It's not going to come to that Beca. Hey, look at me," she grabs my chin and forcibly turns my head until I meet her eyes. "You and Chloe, I'm convinced that's meant to be. Okay? Don't go doubting it now. You've come way too far to give up when you're so close. I guarantee you she's just having a crisis of conscience. She loves her boyfriend right?" I give a weak nod. "Don't you think she'd feel guilty then if she started to develop feelings for someone else?" I give her a slightly stronger nod this time. "So, don't you think, in this highly plausible hypothetical scenario I'm painting you right now, that she'd start avoiding the cause of her guilt and refocus on the person she's committed to?"

There it is. I'm not sure why I didn't see it before because I know Chloe better than anyone, and that is exactly what she'd do. I can't help the wide grin that forms on my face at this revelation, or the fact that as soon as Stacie lets go of my chin I launch myself at her for the first hug I've initiated myself since I can't remember when. Stace is obviously caught off guard but recovers quickly and hugs me back, rubbing comfortably up and down my spine.

"Thank you," I say, voice choked with emotion.

"Of course. I'm your freaking wingman, this is what I do." I can't help but chuckle at her response and let her go.

"Alright wingman. Go let the hunter hunt. Have a good night."

"You want to come?"

"Are you kidding? I see you in action enough already, I have had my fill." I respond with mock disgust.

"Oh babe, you ain't seen nothing yet," she winks and flounces out the door, but not before shouting a quick good night over her shoulder.

I turn my attention back to my laptop and try to finish this mix I've been working on, but it just isn't working. I decide to let it rest and go back to the mashup I've put the most time into. The one I've been making for Chloe. I knew all of her favorite songs already, so I decided to try and mash them all together and make something epic. It was 22 minutes long already, and it was impossible to tell where one song ended and another began. I was hoping she'd like it.

The fall mixer was upon us. And it was even worse than I feared. Aubrey wasn't as pissed as I'd expected though, just resigned. And as she dismissed us she kept giving me contemplative looks that I mostly ignored because I didn't want to get my hopes up that she was actually considering taking my advice. One thing was worrying me though, so I jogged after Chloe.

"Hey, Chloe, wait up."

She turned to me with a tense expression on her face and crossed her arms over her chest protectively.

"What's up Beca?"

"Are you okay?" I ask sincerely. Something about her voice was off while she was singing and I was worried her nodes were back. They had caused her quite a few problems when we were in 11th grade and she tried out for show choir at my encouragement. I thought it was lame, so there was no way I would participate except to be her cheerleader.

"Yes, Beca, I'm fine. I'll see you later," and she turned around to walk away again.

"Do you have nodes?" I blurted out, which caused her to stumble a bit and whip back to me with a stunned expression on her face.

"You looked like you were in pain, and your voice sounded scratchier than usual," I took a step closer. "So?"

She bit her lip and looked to be debating with herself for a moment as she avoided my penetrating gaze. At last she met my eyes with her own teary blue orbs, "Yes. I just found out."

"Oh my god Chlo, I'm so sorry. Are you going to get the surgery?"

"You seem to know an awful lot about the subject," she said suspiciously.

"Someone I really cared about had nodes. Eventually it got bad enough that she had surgery." The half-truth came easily. I didn't tell her though that the surgery hadn't gone well. My Chloe had lost most of her vocal range, and it had devastated her. The doctor that performed the surgery had been intoxicated, and ended up losing his license. Though that was little comfort at the time.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm here if you want to talk about it or whatever. I really care about you, ya know."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say as she appeared to withdraw into herself again. Shit. But after what Stacie had said to me yesterday, I could see the signs and knew she was right. Chloe was waging an internal battle with herself. I needed to make it harder on her.

"Oh, come on Chloe. Every single one of these girls cares about you and would make the same offer if they knew. Let me be here for you. Please?"

"I-Beca," her voice noticeably softened when she said my name, but the steel was back as she said, "I have to go." She turned on her heels and left me standing there staring. Again. This was becoming a habit for us. As much as it hurt to watch her walk away from me, I did enjoy the view considerably.

It was a couple days later, and our illustrious co-captains were dragging us out to what they called a Riff-Off. Chloe was still avoiding me, but I was getting my revenge. Every single practice I pretended to be worse at the choreography than I actually was. So, Chloe had to walk me through it. Step by step. Often, with her hands on my body somewhere guiding me through it. It was delicious torture, and I loved every second. From her flushed face, Chloe did too. Though I was sure she was trying to ignore it.

Which brings us to the Riff-Off. The rules had been explained. The High Notes and Madonna cover band had been eliminated, which left us up against the Trebles. We sounded amazing all night. We were actually listening to each other, blending our voices and harmonizing better than we had since we'd come together as a group. It was beautiful. I just hoped Aubrey could hear it too.

Back and forth we went until Jesse jumped in with 'It Feels Like The First Time'. I had to admit, he was a damn good singer, and the Trebles were kicking ass. As I looked around at the rest of the Bellas, they seemed stumped. Watching Chloe, she was getting more and more dejected as the song went on and no Bellas jumped forth to interrupt them. Fortunately, I had a plan. And it just so happened to include one of Chloe's favorite songs to fool around to. Bonus!

"And I guess that's just the woman in you,

That brings out the man in me...

I know I can't help myself,

You're-"

It was here that I rushed forward and cut him off.

"You're making it hard for me,

All the songs on you requested,

You're dancing like you're naked,

Oh, it's almost like we're sexing…"

I was singing 'Too Close' by Next. The Trebles looked lost, only a couple of the Bellas looked like they even knew the song and the rest were making a passable effort of providing a background beat. Chloe though, she just lit up. Her eyes were locked on mine as I sauntered towards her, still singing the song we'd made out to so many times when we were younger and dancing in her living room like idiots. When I got closer I stopped in front of her, grabbed her hand, and spun her around so her back was pressed to my front. Since my hand was still holding hers, my arm ended up wrapped around her body and we danced like that while we sang, grinding up on each other, my voice directly in her ear, the reactionary shivers of her body easily recognizable due to her closeness. She looked over her shoulder at me and gave me a wicked grin before spinning back around in my arms as she got to the hook and pushing me away as she sang the next part.

"Step back you're dancing kinda close,

I feel a little poke coming through,

On you"

I blushed and chuckled as I pulled her back to me and sang my part, but the rest of the performance honestly was a blur as the rest of the Bellas took over with Chloe and I lost in our own little world grinding on each other and gazing into each other's eyes. It was frighteningly electric. I loved it.

"God I've missed this," I whispered. It was a reflex. It was like exhaling after holding your breath for so long you just can't help but let it out. It was also a fucking colossal mistake, and I realized it a split second too late. Chloe tensed up and pulled away looking at me strangely. I bit my lip and avoided her gaze. Suddenly the Bellas around us were cheering as it was announced the Trebles had been cut off. We'd won. But why did it feel so shitty? Oh right, because Chloe was once again walking away from me.