Alone, I fight these animals.
Alone, until I get home.
- Of Monster And Men, Six Weeks
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Chapter 6: Together Alone
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She hated it - them.
More than their unwanted company, however, Morrigan hated her mother right now. For casting her out with the Wardens, without as much as asking her - When she wasn't even ready for it. She knew why, the sense and purpose behind it, yet this knowledge didn't make her resent the suddenness of it any less. Fingers curled tightly around her rough wooden staff, she glared at the person walking next to her.
The blonde elf, now outfitted in the Warden rogue armor her mother had collected for her, seethed in quiet rage as she stomped through the squelching mud far more loudly than needed. The fool, more boy than man, had his eyes firmly cast down on his boots and took the rear of their unlikely group. In his grief, he looked ready to throw himself at the next darkspawn horde they ran into. Alas, it was Morrigan's task to lead them around all the darkspawn hordes lingering in the depths of the Wilds, or else she would have gladly cheered him on as he did so. The past weeks around his constant whining over his fallen comrades had been already trying enough. She didn't relish the idea of spending more time in his company, at least not without setting him on fire.
The Dalish was... distant, hung up in her own petty problems, though she seemed by far more tolerable. It did little to lessen Morrigan's resentment of being forced into this role, however. While she yearned to see the world beyond the Wild's borders, it should have been on her terms and not those of her mother or the Wardens.
Do what you must, Morrigan.
A huff escaped her lips upon the remembrance of her mother's words, the frustration now visible in the tenseness of her shoulders. Green eyes flitted over to her for a brief moment. The elf's look was as much appraisal as it was an expression of annoyance for disturbing the stillness established between them. Morrigan held her stare long enough to notice the sharpness within her eyes, an intelligence the other Warden appeared to lack. She'd noticed it before, in the Wilds, upon meeting her for the first time. Now, however, this observation seemed like a possibility that maybe, maybe they weren't all as doomed as she had initially thought.
Looking away, the witch glanced up to the sky and sighed. Under the ever-present cloak of fog and thick dark clouds, the prior daylight had dwindled to a barely perceptible lightening. The way out of the Wilds was still long, and the night was approaching faster than she had calculated. The lack of natural light was another telltale sign of a growing Blight - much as the absence of wildlife was. It had probably fled further north to escape its effect.
"We shall make camp soon," she announced, slowing her steps. "Lest we stumble into a darkspawn horde in the darkness."
Behind her, the fool scoffed as if in disagreement. He immediately fell back into brooding silence, sparing Morrigan the energy to comment.
The elf bestowed her with an roll of her eyes. "Here, on the open field, amidst the swamp?" she asked, the same anger shown in her posture as in her voice.
After hours spent in their unwilling company, Morrigan was all too willing to rise to this obvious bait. She narrowed her eyes at Mahariel. "Did I say we would make camp right now, in this instant? Do not take me for a fool, elf. I know this area well enough. We should pass a glade soon, where we can make camp for the night."
"Whatever..." she muttered and stomped away with the indignation of a twelve-year-old girl. This was going to be a long night… and even a longer journey.
Standing over the corpse of a hurlock she'd killed with frightening ease only moments ago, Lenya was still hacking and slashing at it with her blades. Whenever the sharp metal of her weapon hit its rotten flesh, the motion made a wet, squelching sound. Dark blood sprayed in small spouts from it on and around her.
Lenya barely noticed.
She was too caught in the rhythm of hatred, dancing to its alluring tune. Like fire it burned on and beneath her skin, a seething rage taken out on the darkspawn corpse to mask her own failure. Failure to say no, failure to turn away and run. Failure to save him ... when it mattered. Her world narrowed down on its lifeless body, the grimace of a rotten face she hated so much. Again and again, she stabbed and sliced, unable to stop.
They had taken him away from her. They were the reason why she now was here, against her will, fighting a futile, stupid battle. The darkspawn were the source of her misery, and she had to make them go away. She had to - a yelp tore through the ringing of her ears, sounding alien, unlike her voice.
Something nudged her leg and whined . Through the haze of rage, Lenya heard her name being called. Her breathing ragged and too loud, she forced herself to look away from the bloodied pulp she had turned the hurlock into and saw... a dog? The animal was still pawing at her as if begging her to stop. She let the blades clatter to the ground and blinked rapidly to regain her senses. Lenya recognized the voice calling her name as belonging to her fellow Warden.
"Lenya!" he called her again. It must have been the first time in days that he spoke up.
She turned to him and noticed his bewildered stare, the crease of his eyebrows. "A-are you okay?"
"Yes, just fine," Lenya hissed, not even attempting to hide the rawness within her tone. "Everything is great. Couldn't be better, really."
His frown deepened, and she hated how he'd seen more than he should have. How she had given away far more than she had wanted to. The human held her gaze a moment longer than needed before backing away. "It's dead. Let it go," he simply said, and the hound next to her woofed as if in agreement. Wait... what hound? Lenya glanced toward the animal and recognized it as the mabari she'd helped in Ostagar.
"Ugh." Behind her, Morrigan let out a disgusted noise and pointed at the dog. "Why is it here? We already have one mangy beast-"
"Hey, this is really unneeded," Alistair cut into her words and turned the insult against him back at her. "You should be nicer to yourself, you know?" The satisfied smirk upon having silenced the witch vanished from his expression as quickly as it came. "Hey isn't that the dog you helped in Osta-" A sob swallowed his half-word and his face scrunched in the effort to hold in the others wanting to break free.
"Please, don't cry again," Lenya rushed to say, sounding harsher than intended.
His features hardened. "You're right. I should be angry instead. Loghain..." His hands balled into fists. "He is the one to blame."
On that they could agree, at least. Everything else had to wait until they were able to leave this forsaken patch of land out in the middle of nowhere. And possibly even longer. Lenya nodded. "Yes. That shem-alas is to blame, indeed."
"Does that mean the dog is going to stay?" Morrigan asked, sounding all but pleased at the prospect. The mabari, still bloodied from the darkspawn it tore into pieces not long ago, let his tongue loll out of his mouth and bestowed the witch with a bark of agreement. The witch rolled her eyes. "Great. Now we have a dog and Alistair is still the dumbest in our party."
"Hey, I was educated by the Chantry. I studied history," he objected. "They don't make stupid templars!"
"A templar? You ?" Morrigan sneered, looking him up and down. "Oh my, this explains so much, believe me."
"Anyway," he turned away from the witch and back to her. "I think he was out there looking for you, Lenya." He forced a smile as he looked at the dog. "He's... chosen you. Mabari are like that. They call it imprinting."
Fixing her gaze on the hound, she remembered the kennel master talking about mabari. And how imprinting differed from owning an animal, which would conflict with her belief of Vir Tanadhal . After contemplating the options for a moment, it seemed an all around a good idea to take him with them. Especially since there would be enough enemies into which the dog could sink his sharp teeth, on their way to ... what exactly? 'Fighting the Blight' was such an idiotic, unachievable goal that Lenya didn't even dare to think about it. Staying alive and reaching this shemlen village Morrigan spoke of seemed a far more sensible and feasible task, however. So she decided to focus on that, for now.
"Fine, the dog can come," Lenya agreed and reclaimed her weapons from the ground. Right after, she moved to leave. The fading daylight didn't offer much more time to reach this achievable goal in the form of the village. Maybe they should stop halfway and make camp instead.
Unlike the mabari and Morrigan, her fellow Warden didn't move from his spot."You don't want to give him a name first?"
"A name?" Lenya stopped to turn around to him. "Why? He is a dog."
"Yes, obviously. That doesn't mean he doesn't deserve his own name."
Beside her, the mabari nudged her leg as if urging her to decide."Okay, fine." She crossed her arms. "Name him, then."
"What? No, no. Bad idea. And besides, he is your dog, Lenya."
"No. I don't own him. He chose to follow me. Big difference." The dog slanted his head with a low woof.
"You are doing that now?" Morrigan let out an annoyed sigh. "Bickering about a mangy beast amidst the darkspawn corpses, out on an open field?" She threw her free hand up and stalked away. "Unbelievable."
"He is not mangy," the puppy said to his smaller canine version. "Okay, if you really insist on not naming him yourself..." Grinning slightly, he feigned a thinking pose."How about... Barkspawn then?"
Lenya flinched. Creators, this was even worse than his abysmal jokes in Ostagar. Glaring up at him, she almost wished he would revert back to brooding silence. "No. Absolutely not . This name is stupid and... ugh ."
"Oh?" He arched an eyebrow, challenging her. "You have a better one, then?"
"Yes. Literally anything is a better name than Barkspawn. Like..." Stopping, she wrecked her brain for elvhen words."... Asha... Amae." No, these are no good. Too feminine in meaning." … Revas." Yes, that was it. At least the dog could be what had been taken from her since she set foot in that creator-damned cave. Free. Free to choose. Free to follow. Unlike herself. "Let's call him Revas… which means freedom in my mother tongue." The mabari barked happily, acknowledging his new name.
"A nice thought, that." The shem's smile was genuine before turning into something more smug. "See? That wasn't so hard, right?" With that, he started to walk away, leaving her standing there alone with the realization that she had been goaded into doing exactly what he wanted her to do.
Hurrying her steps to not fall behind too much, Lenya found herself disagreeing with what Morrigan said earlier. Her fellow Warden was annoying, yes - downright infuriating, even. But not dumb.
Together alone.
Those were the words that came into her mind when Lenya looked at her unlikely companions. Each of them stayed in their own corner of the clearing they had settled down in for the night. Old, gnarled trees towered overhead, their twisted branches giving a false sense of protection and familiarity. The woods close to the road were small, nothing like the Brecilian Forest. And yet, Lenya felt more safe camping here than in any open field, especially after Morrigan had set up runes of protections around the glade's perimeter. They would be safe from darkspawn for the night, which seemed only a small solace given... everything else. After cleaning and sharpening his sword, her fellow Warden had reverted back to his usual brooding routine. Hunched over with his back leaned at a tree, he sat silently in the adjutant corner and stared at the yellow and brown leaves building the woods' natural tapestry.
After the rain of the past day, the soil was still damp and bore a rich earthy smell she knew too well. Again, the echo of a home left behind clawed at Lenya, reminding her of all that she'd lost. In that, she and the human weren't so different, after all. Biting her lip, she glanced away from him, doubting her idea to make camp here for the first time.
Morrigan appeared unperturbed by the emotional turmoil around her, her own small camp as distant from both the Wardens as she was herself. Only the occasional mutter or curse escaped her lips as she busied herself in building her own, secluded campfire. Her ire was directed at the predictably wet pieces of wood that wouldn't comply with her magic and stay lit long enough.
"You need to create embers first. Use different layers of wood stacked on each other," Lenya spoke up and felt the witches' annoyance now directed at her. "It is the groundwork of every fire in wet weather conditions, if you want it to last. Also, it is better if you -"
"I know how to make a fire, elf!" she snapped, cutting her off.
"Apparently not," the Warden shem snorted from his distant corner.
"Well, maybe I should set you on fire, then," Morrigan shot back. "The emptiness in your head should leave the flames enough room to grow."
"You see that bush there behind you?" The puppy pointed behind the witch, his tone harsh. "Could you crawl into it and die ? That would be great, thanks."
Ignoring their bickering, Lenya snatched the piece of hardwood out of the witches' hand. "You know what your problem is, Morrigan?"
"This idiot, clearly."
"No." Ushering Revas, who had laid himself down in the middle of the clearing, away, she started to stack up the wood there. The branches the human had collected were suitable for the most part, but her method was lacking. "You tried to stack the wood in a tapered way, so that the fire doesn't get enough oxygen from both above and below." Unlike Morrigan, she built a square platform, using the thick oak hardwood as a base. That would keep the rest of the branches off the ground and create smoldering embers later - those would last to give them heat for the whole night. "The trick is to ensure the fire has enough room to breathe, to establish an airflow until it burns hot enough on its own." Lenya piled the rest of the branches onto each other, each layer facing the other way than the previous one. She finished her square fire perimeter with kindling of birch bark and pine cones. "There, done. Try and set ablaze the upper layer, then let the fire do the rest."
The witch frowned at her, but flicked her hand to send a lick of flame into the fireplace. The natural fuel source burned as predicted, thanks to the resinous oil the pine cones and bark contained. "Great, now we don't have to freeze to death overnight. Still, keep an eye on it, and kindle the flames if needed."
Morrigan's frown deepened in spite of their success with the fire. "Twas not supposed to be placed in the middle of camp."
"Aww, too bad I don't give a shit. For three people -" Revas grumbled as if peeved that he was being left out."-... and a dog," she quickly added, "... one single firepit should suffice." Lenya felt her glare upon herself once more. "Feel free to build your own the next time we camp in a larger area. Not tonight, though, unless you want to burn down everything around us."
The witch turned away with a scoff, leaving her alone in the company of her dog and her growling stomach. Ugh . "Say, Revas..." The mabari slanted his head with a whine and looked up at her. "... can you hunt?" He barked once, which Lenya took to mean 'yes'. "Good, because our meager supplies have dwindled to nothing by now. And I could really use some help to hunt some hare, maybe even a deer." She sighed. "If there are any to be found in these parts, that is."
"Now?" The puppy looked up to her and gestured further into the forest. It was clouded in darkness, but the moon stood high in the sky. "It's already dark and-"
"Don't worry, shem," Lenya replied and struggled to suppress her scoff. He didn't even know that elves possessed nocturnal sight? Typical. "As long there is any source of light above or around me, I will be able to see well enough."
"Right..." He looked down and, for a split second, the sparse natural light reflected within his eyes in the same way as it always did in hers. Lenya shook her head. No, impossible. That was the flickering light of the fire playing tricks, surely. "Just... I don't know. Take care."
Lenya already had a barbed comment on her lips, but something in his voice made her swallow it down again. His hesitancy to let her go seemed the be about more than just his concern about her getting lost in the underbrush. One glance toward the other corner of the clearing, where Morrigan pouted with the indignation of a child, told her the reason for it. Unseen by her fellow Warden, she rolled her eyes. This felt more and more like herding a bunch of halla fawn than a ragtag team set out with the impossible and idiotic mission of saving Ferelden.
"Try not to kill each other while I am gone," she muttered, wondering why she should even care . After all, with them gone, she could reclaim her freedom and run after - yeah, no. That wasn't going to work either, given what Flemeth told her. Ugh . So, she settled for something... smaller. "Hey, but no trouble if you do, because then there will be more food for me."
The deer's carcass slung onto her back weighed her down, making each step sink further into the soft, wet soil. Her cheeks were still heated from the sprint, reddened from the hunt for her quarry until Revas caught it by flanking it from the other side. It was skinny, scraggly animal, hardly enough to feed the three of them, let alone a hungry mabari. Thankfully, Andruil had been merciful and let them stumble over a rabbit hole close to the slain deer. Lenya glanced down at her dog, who proudly carried a pair of hare in his muzzle. She would let him keep one of them, at least. Usually, she preferred the methodical hunt over simply hoping for Andruil to bless her with enough luck to score her game. But with the encroaching night and tiredness, her hunger and the lack of suitable gear and traps, it was all she had tonight. For once, it had been enough, though Lenya made a mental note to build some traps for the next hunt and to buy a bow in the shemlen village they would hopefully reach tomorrow.
Taking deep breaths to calm her quickened breathing, she could smell the rusty tang of the blood that dripped from the deer's cut throat. It had been a quick, merciful death for an animal that had been left behind by its herd, alone and weak. Lenya would make sure to thank Andruil for this gift and to pray for the safety of her herd, the clan who had left her behind. She swallowed, blinking faster as the approaching light of the campfire threatened to blur.
Lenya let the carcass fall onto the ground with a loud thunk and motioned for Revas to let go of his game as well. Back at camp, underneath a clear moon and the gnarled, twisted branches of the oaks surrounding the glade, she instantly noticed two things. One, her fellow Warden was gone. Two, Morrigan sat with her back turned to her, cursing underneath her breath. Her hunched form exuded an animosity that was like acid - burning, slicing, potent. She could make out several of her words, "simpering fool", "irresponsible" and "good riddance" among them.
Against her better judgment, Lenya approached the witch. She sat close enough to the campfire to steal some of its warmth, but remained standoffish enough to ward off any company. "Morrigan?"
She whirled around with suddenly, as if preparing to strike the Dalish down. Her golden eyes narrowed at the sight of her. "Oh, 'tis so nice of you to return, at least."
Lenya's lip quirked up to a half-grin. It was probably the worst thing to say now, but she couldn't help herself. "So, I take it you haven't murdered the shem after all? I'm very proud of you."
"He ran off," she huffed, her gaze turning into a scowl. "'Tis for the better, as I don't have to endure his whining and self-pitying any longer."
She snorted, pointing at the flames that burned high and bright."Well, at least you tended to the fire." The humor vanished from her face as a quiet sound reached her ears, causing them to twitch briefly. At first she thought she had misheard it, but it repeated soon after, leaving no doubt. It was small sobbing sound, coming from the depth of the woods. It explained why the shem was gone. He was crying.
"Ugh, are you even listening?" Lenya's attention snapped back to Morrigan, whose scowl had deepened. "That simpering fool should finally get over himself, there is more at stake than -"
"You... told him that, right?" She had only known the witch for a couple of days now, yet long enough to be aware that tact and empathy weren't exactly her strong suit. Not that she herself fared any better in these traits, but that came from a place of indifference, not cruelty.
Morrigan only scoffed. "So you are on his side now?"
"Creators, how old are you? Five? I am on nobody's side."
"Oh?" Morrigan arched her perfectly curved eyebrow. "How are you not taking his side? Since you obviously permit yourself to coddle the idiot and his antics."
"Obviously, I'm just trying to survive long enough to reach this shitty little shemlen village you talked about. Obviously that is a lot harder to do if you are both constantly at each other's throats." Lenya fell silent for a spell and listened for a sign of life from her fellow Warden. Quiet, short and ragged, the sobs reached her hearing again, as if ripped out of his chest. For some reason the sound made her angry. "Was that comment really needed, Morrigan? Does it make you feel better having said that to him?" Lenya threw her hands up, the frustration that had been building for days finally tumbling from her lips. "Creators, I get it, he is super annoying, and gods do I hate being stuck with a human, of all people, on this insanity of a quest. It is all so stupid, and I hate it, but there is no reason to be needlessly cruel."
"'Tis curious how you said ' a human', elf. What am I to you, then?" A small smirk stole itself into her pale face. "A bog monster spawned from a log?"
"You are different," Lenya admitted and regretted it right after.
"Ah, am I now?" Her eyebrow shot up again, amused. "How so?"
"Ugh." Of course the witch would try to rile her up, in the same way she had succeeded with the puppy before. And Lenya hated that it had worked. She might as well get it over with and tell her what she wanted to hear. "You were raised in the Wilds by a woman my people revere and lived there, away from other humans. So yeah, you do not have much in common with the other shemlen."
"My, observant, are you?" Underneath apparent humor, her tone was all biting sarcasm. "It seems you have me all figured out." Morrigan paused, seeming to deliberate upon her prior words. "Survival is your goal?" she asked, sounding actually curious now.
"Yes, well, I can hardly fight darkspawn, or the Blight, or whatever it is we do here, when I'm dead, right? That is why your mother saved us, after all."
"Yes," the witch said, glancing away, into the campfire. "'T'would seem so."
"Good," Lenya nodded, surprised to see her being nearly quiet, even thoughtful. "And survival is indeed a far more tangible a goal to me than... everything else."
Morrigan looked back at her. "'Tis a pragmatic view. I can respect that."
"I owe it to them to at least... try ."
"To whom?" the witch asked, making her aware that she'd said it out loud.
Her throat tightened, rendering her speechless for a long moment. Lenya could still hear him crying, the sounds more subdued now. Maybe he stifled them in a futile attempt to stop the tears, the grief wrecking him. "My clan," she said in a broken whisper, and only now fully understood why he mourned. She blinked faster, almost frantically, to keep her own tears at bay as she stared out into the night. "My home."
He had lost his, too.
Something cold nudged her hand, and a faint whimper reached her ears. Lenya looked down to see Revas sitting next to her and burrowed her hand into his coarse fur. The warmth underneath her fingertips grounded her again, even if she hadn't noticed when the Mabari had appeared at her side. Revas huffed softly and licked her hand when it came close to his snout.
Turning to him, she crouched down to hug the dog. "Thank you. I'm happy you have found me." He replied in a way that was almost more person than animal and lay his head upon her shoulder with a quiet whine. The dog smelled horrible, of wet fur and blood and mud, but in this moment, Lenya didn't mind. Letting go, she looked at the mabari with a smile that felt less forced now, if only a bit. "Revas... can you do me a favor?"
He barked, eager to comply.
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.
.
He should return, he knew that.
Sitting at the fringe of camp and crying would change nothing about the fact that they were all gone. Forever. Alistair was also aware of that, and really, really wished he wasn't. Pretending everything was fine and using humor as a shield to hide his emotions behind was easier than facing the facts.
He was alone. Again . Everyone he'd known and liked was dead , and he hadn't even been able to die with them. Sitting with his back against a tree, Alistair bit his knuckles to stop the sob from breaking free. Tears welled in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. Would it ever get better? Would it ever hurt less? Maker, why? Why was he, of all people, still alive when Benson, Junan and Duncan d-
Something soft and wet met his other hand, resting in his lap. Alistair stared at the shadowed figure that had appeared next to him, blinking rapidly."Hey..." he managed, his voice trembling and small. The dog let out a whine and nudged his unoccupied hand again. "Why are you here?" The mabari only huffed as if offended by the question and inched closer to him. Revas, Alistair remembered, Lenya had named him. "Shouldn't you be with Lenya?" he asked and didn't even know why he was talking to the hound. "Maker knows, she already appreciates your company far more than mine."Alistair gasped, a sound somewhere between a self-deprecating laugh and a sob. "Not that I blame her, mind you. I'm a complete stranger to her and... a human." Plopping down next to him, the dog nudged his arm aside and lay his massive head in Alistair's lap. It was a heavy weight on his legs, but also warm and... calming somehow. It reminded him of his childhood and the nights spent in the barn, huddled up in between mabari. Hesitantly, Alistair began to pet the mabari and swallowed thickly as he stared out into the night. "No wonder she hates me."
Revas woofed quietly, as if trying to argue that point, but forgot about it as soon Alistair scratched a particular spot behind his ears. His hind leg twitched in time with the scratches and the dog tilted his head just so to give Alistair better access. It looked comical to see such a large warhound behave like a tiny puppy, though he was too caught up in his grief to actually able to laugh at it. He thought about the many times when he had wished Lenya was someone else and felt ashamed. Since it would have meant her death instead of another Warden, and that wasn't wholly fair either. After all, Lenya did not choose to be saved, nor to become a Warden in the first place. She was here by pure happenstance, same as him. And still...
"No, it is okay," he sighed into the night and let his hand fall back at his side. Revas huffed in disappointment. "It would have been better if I had been the one to die, instead of- of-" New tears halted his thought, and his throat became too constricted to speak any further. Alistair felt the dog's tongue lapping at his hand, and his wet nose butted his arm. He started to pet him again, if only to ground himself in the repeated motion, the warmth underneath his fingertips. "What am I doing here? I am in way over my head, and there is no one I can turn to." Duncan would have known what to do, but... he was gone and would never... Silent sobs wrecked through his body, and he had to bite his fist to stifle its crescendo.
"Look at me," he sniffled through his tears after another moment had passed. "I am talking to a dog ." Revas let out an offended growl as he glanced up at the human. Wiping hastily at his tears, Alistair started to pet the dog's head again. "Sorry. I know you understand me. It is just... I don't know," he finished lamely, feeling incapable of voicing the grief overwhelming him in waves, the loneliness inside. Tightening his cloak around him to fend off the cold, he leaned his head back against the tree. With the warmth and weight of the dog beside him , he could feel exhaustion crawling back in. The past days had been harsh, even if he'd spent them mostly in a haze of grief. And the future didn't seem any brighter. Maker , he had no idea where to even start fighting this Blight, and how to bring Loghain to justice for what he'd done. Though he owed it to Duncan... to them all, to at least try his best, to fulfill his duty as a Warden. Swallowing thickly, Alistair looked down at the dog.
"But I am still glad you're here, Revas."
.
.
.
Thunder rumbled in the distance and a bolt of lightning cracked the darkened sky in two as she ran. Torrential rain poured down in icy sheets upon her face like needles, but , in her haste to get away, Lenya didn't care.
The sudden shift in weather suited her, for it would make it easier to hide her tracks, to keep him - this damn Warden leader shemlen - from following her. Lenya had waited until he was fast asleep and then snuck out of their makeshift camp. Under cover of night, the first part of her escape had been easy : planting a few false tracks here and there and using her heightened sight to her advantage in the darkness. But now morning had broken and , with it , the shem's awareness of her absence . More than getting hit by lightning while running across these open plains, Lenya feared she was too simple a target to spot. His heavy armor would normally slow him down in his pursuit, if it weren't for his damn horse. Gasping for air and with her legs and lungs burning, she also knew that she couldn't keep this up for much longer. Even trained and fit as she was as a hunter, brief spurts in between slower walking was all she could manage after hours of flight, and that was slowly becoming cumbersome , too. Hunting for her clan had always been more about endurance and the patience to wait for the perfect kill than long trekking.
Lenya gritted her teeth and pushed forward through the smattering of rain. The wind screamed more than it howled, making her trek uphill all the more complicated. As she finally reached the top of it, she recognized the pattern of the sparse trees in between green, lush hills in the distance. She had been here before, dragged away from her clan and thrown over the shoulder of the Warden shem. It would be another day's march until she could slip into the Brecilian Forest again, but at least she knew she was on the right track. Another advantage of the weather was that the heavy rain would quickly wipe away any of her footprints left in the muddy soil.
An hour later , the storm had dwindled down to normal rainfall. Drenched to the bone, Lenya reached the mouth of a river. Following it upwards would eventually lead her into the forest again, back to her clan. If they were still there. She shook her head, refusing to follow this thought further. Even with the sickness and exhaustion wearing her down, she couldn't let herself doubt now, not now that she was so close to being back where she belonged. Like a promise , she kept hold of the thought of home and continued onward with hasty steps.
At the point where the river split in two, she saw a bay horse grazing, looking frighteningly like the one the - oh no.
"It seems you have forgotten that I am a rogue too, Mahariel," a voice behind her said. "I know all the tricks, believe me."
Lenya didn't need to turn around to know that it was the damn shem. Frozen in her track s as she was in her shock, any movement was momentarily impossible anyway.
No, no, no. How could it be? How did he-
"Nor do you seem to remember how you have tried to escape once already." She felt him approaching, and her muscles tense d in response . She'd fight, if needed. "I'd underestimated the weather, or I would have cut off your way sooner."
"You cannot force me to go with you, shemlen!"
"I have conscripted you , and your Keeper ha s acknowledged this, so according to the rules of my order-"
"Fuck your rules," she spat out, pressing her hands into fists.
He came closer still , and Lenya prepared herself for an attack. "So despite me having a cure for your sickness... you would rather die?"
The rain drops ran down her face, mixing with the tears she wasn't able to blink away. "Yes," she uttered, suddenly sounding not so sure.
"Ah..." Duncan only said. "I was hoping to avoid that, but you are leaving me no choice." Before Lenya had time to wonder what these words meant, something connected with the back of her head and her world went black.
.
~V~
.
Lenya woke with a gasp and stared blearily into the darkness of camp. Her hand reached back to feel the bump on her skull that wasn't there, not anymore. The heat of the glowing embers closeby and the absence of both her dog and her fellow Warden were the next things she registered.
"'Tis a good thing you woke up on your own. Otherwise I would have woken you."
"I -" Lenya swallowed heavily, blinking at the witch who rolled her eyes.
"You were talking in your sleep, elf. Quite insistently and loud , I might add."
"Lenya."
Morrigan frowned at her. "What?"
"I recall us exchanging names when we met, Morrigan ," Lenya said with a small scoff in her voice, putting extra emphasis on her name. "Since I can remember yours, I wonder why you struggle to do the same with mine?"
She fixed her with a stare. "Because such is a thing one has to earn?"
"What? My name? It was freely given to me by my parents." The corners of her mouth twitch upwards, as the next words came to her mind. Words that should be very familiar to the human. "You do not assume I spawned from a log, do you?"
"How generous of them," the witch said, not missing a beat, and clucked her tongue. "Are they the reason why you are so eager to run back to your clan?"
"No." The smell of grilled deer meat wafted into her nose and her rumbling stomach distracted her for a moment. "They are both dead."
"Oh..." Morrigan glanced away. Her posture deflated just as her smugness did. "My condolences then, however little they will mean to you."
"They are still appreciated, Morrigan," Lenya said and was surprised to notice that she meant it. "Now, can we use our names for each other, going forward? It seems as if we are stuck together, so doing so would make at least some of it easier."
"Yes." She nodded after a moment of deliberation. "Twould, indeed. And you seem more bearable than your... fellow Warden."
"Coming from you, that is a very low bar to cross, but... I'll take it." Shaking her head, Lenya stood up and walked past the empty place by the campfire where the shem should have been. Why was he still absent?
Slipping past their camp's perimeter, she found him leaning against a tree with his chin resting on his chest. She couldn't see his face due to the hood drawn deep over his head, but, motionless as he was, he was obviously asleep. Revas lay stretched out across the human's legs, serving as a source of warmth and comfort.
Good. He was annoying, but - shemlen or not - she knew exactly how he felt. He had lost his clan, too.
Alistair . She recalled his name as she quietly turned away , and her prior words to Morrigan came back to her mind. Not shemlen.
Maybe she should start calling him by his name too.
.
.
Change Notes: I kept some vague elements of the old version, such as Morrigan's frustration about her mother, Lenya's blind hatred of darkspawn, which she blames for her fate and Lenya sending her dog to Alistair for solace.
The most obvious change was the name of the Mabari, who now is called Revas and no longer Arai. The name simply fits Lenya and her reasons for it better. I also focused more on Alistair's grief once more, since it doesn't magically vanish from one day to the other and needs to be addressed. Lenya is also quicker ready to use Alistair's actual name than in my old version, which has story but also technical writing reasons, since calling him "warden shem" all the time gets old and impractical fast.