You guys... Thanks for the reviews!

It's been a while.
It sometimes feels as if I'm losing my touch.
I can't write that much as I used to do.
But as long as you guys are with me, I won't give up.
I still enjoy writing, I just find it harder than before.

Anyway, this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I wanted to give you guys at least something after that horrible cliffhanger ;)

I loved to write about the wedding though, I can be a hopeless romantic from time to time.
SpaceFlora, your review made me laugh so hard because it's so true.
From the moment it gets too mushy, someone needs to die or get wounded or whatever.
Keeps the balance bwhahaha.

Loved it.
That is so me.

Anyway, enough with the talk.

Next chapter!
Enjoy! ^^

Chapter 13

Panic.
It was mixed with oxygen in the air.
While she was gasping for air, the panic got stuck in her throat.
Covering the delicate mucosa with a layer of poison.

Her vision was blurry.
A tear left her eye and she felt how it followed its path down her face.
A weird tingling sensation in her ear when the small drop of salty water landed there, the end of its journey.

Flashes of light.
She blinked a few times.
A big blur.
Black and white.
Like Yin and Yang.
She blinked again.

A face.
It was a face.

Vinnie.
His ruby red eyes were wide open in shock.
His mouth opened and closed.
He was talking to her.
But her ears were ringing.
And instead of his beautiful voice, she only heard a high tone.

Clenching her teeth, she tried to lift her hand.
She wanted to touch him.
To feel the soft fur under her fingers.
But her body didn't cooperate.

And suddenly, there was the pain.
Sharp like a knife.
It shot through her torso and right arm.

The panic seeped through the mucosa in her mouth and throat.
It spread like wildfire in a dry forest and soon, her whole body was infected.
All of a sudden, she could feel her heart racing in her chest.
All of a sudden, she could see.
All of a sudden, she could hear.

"Jesus, what were you thinking?"

The voice of an angel.
She opened her mouth, but the panic was starting to consume her.
The pain too.
She managed to squeeze out her answer.

His face became a blur again.
It became smaller.

Weird...

As if she was falling into a pit.
The darkness around her was pulling on her body.
Sounds around her echoed through her head, but it didn't make any sense.
She blinked.
But there was no more light.
There was only darkness.

A few minutes earlier…

Kiwi was having the time of her life.
Vinnie had shown her on Earth that he had some serious dancing skills, but that was only the tip of the iceberg, she now knew.
The music was different, not like she was used to. But it was fine.
They were living in a war, after all.
No need to be picky.
Just be grateful for the things that you do have.

When Vinnie spun her around, she could see Harley and Stoker dancing on their right.
Modo and Amira on their left.
Throttle and Carbine were sitting at a table in the corner, their tails entwined and engaged in a, by the looks of things, intense conversation.
Kiwi smiled, her grin so wide it almost caused a cramp in her cheeks.
Vinnie saw it and smiled too.
"It's been a while since I saw you being this happy, sweetheart. Gotta admit, it makes you even sexier", and he wiggled his eyebrows.
His right hand was now lying on her lower back and the pressure alone gave her goosebumps all over her body.
His tail wrapped around her ankle and made its way up like a snake.
When she realized what he was doing, her cheeks turned redder than red.
"Oh my god, Vin, you can't do this, not here", she breathed, but she did no attempt to stop him.
The white furred mouse pulled her closer as his tail suddenly reached its goal and she gasped.
She looked into his twinkling eyes and her legs started to shake.
Oh my god, this mouse… Honestly.
Before she completely lost herself in the cloud of pleasure, she managed to jerk back to reality and she playfully pushed him away.
"Jesus, Vinnie, that's just…", but she couldn't finish that sentence.
A hard push made her stumble forwards and if it wasn't for Vinnie's great reflexes, she would've fallen.
When his strong arms caught her, a loud bang made her ears ring.

What the…

Vinnie stiffened and Kiwi spun around.
Harley was lying on the ground, gasping for air.
A red spot on her right shoulder, getting bigger and bigger.
Kiwi blinked a few times.

What the...

At that point, a few things happened at the same time.

Stoker threw himself on a female mouse, one Kiwi hadn't seen before.
She landed on her belly with Stoker on top of her. The brown furred leader yanked the gun out of her small hand and threw it away.
Then, he grabbed both of her hands and twisted them on her back as his tail wrapped around the wrists, to make sure she couldn't use them.
The scrawny female mouse with a greasy fur was screaming bloody murder and tried to get loose, but failed.

"Mommy!"
Shaylon ran towards his wounded mother, but Modo caught him.
"Wow, easy little fella. Your mom needs space."
"No, let me go, she needs my help!", the little boy screamed in terror, fighting to get out of Modo's grip.
But of course, that was no use.

Vinnie pushed Kiwi in Throttle's arms, who was standing beside them out of nowhere and rushed over to the wounded female mouse.
He fell on his knees next to her as his right hand covered the wound in her shoulder.
Her blood turned his snow white fur red, but he hardly noticed.
"Harley, stay with me, come on…", he whispered, putting more pressure on the wound.
He looked into her beautiful blue eyes, now filled with pain and shock.
"Jesus, what were you thinking?", the white furred mouse breathed.
She lifted her hand and reached out.
"Y-y-you remem… remember the d-d-day I gave y-you t-this?", she stumbled as her fingers touched the cold metal that was covering the right side of his face.
Vinnie felt tears burning behind his eyes.
"Of course I remember. How can I forget?"
"I t-t-told you… to be s-sure you… you're not hurt ag-again, I'd give my l-life.. life for y-you…"

Vinnie's eyes grew big but before he could react, her hand fell on the floor, leaving bloody prints behind on his mask.
Her eyes rolled back in her head and her breathing slowed down.
A hand on his shoulder made him look up, straight into Throttle's face.
"The doc is here, let's give him some space to do his job, okay?"
His calm and husky voice made its way into his with panic clouded brain.
But he couldn't just leave her, right?
The image of his sister, who was lying at the foot of Limburger's building, all alone, her body broken, flashed before his eyes.
She died alone.
A thing she sure as hell didn't deserve.
Just like Harley didn't deserve either...

"Vinnie…"

Kiwi's voice brought him back to reality and he scrambled backward, away from Harley's motionless body.
And the crowd gave room to the medical staff, so they could do everything within their power to save Harley's life.
Vinnie was still sitting on the floor, breathing heavily. His eyes were glued to the sight in front of him, but it was nothing more but a blur.
There was only one thing he could think of.
What if she died too?

…

"I need to see her."
"I've got strict orders from Stoker to let nobody near her…"
"I don't give a fuck. I need to see her, now. So, you better move your sorry ass…"
"Or what?"
"Or I'll make ya. And trust me I ain't polite…"
"Bring it on, hotshot."

But before the guard was gonna be attacked by a very angry, upset and just married white furred mouse, Stoker stepped between them.
"Stand down, punk. The guy is only following orders."
Vinnie looked at his coach with fuming eyes.
"I have every right to see her. I need to know who did this. More to the point, I need to know why."
"I know you have a lot of questions and I can tell ya you ain't the only one. But she hasn't spoken a word since we threw her into the cell."
"You make it sound like there's a problem. I'll make her talk…", and Vinnie pushed Stoker and the guard aside.
But after only taking two steps in the direction of the cells, a metal tail wrapped around his arm to stop him.
"You're ignoring a direct order here, rookie. You better be careful with your next move…"

Stoker's voice gave away his anger, but Vinnie wasn't amused either.
He turned around and marched back to his leader.
"I ain't no goddamn army", he growled between clenched teeth as he poked his finger in the brown furred mouse his chest.
"The girl tried to kill Kiwi. My Kiwi. No way I'm gonna let that slip, General."
He said the last word sarcastic, almost provokingly.
Stoker narrowed his eyes as he gritted his teeth.
"Now you listen to me... "
"She almost killed Harley. Why are you defending her?", Vinnie cut him off, a challenging glance in his eyes.
Deep down, he knew he was crossing a line here, that he was pushing his coach too far.
But nobody ever said that the white furred mouse was one with self-control.
Emotions just took over and he acted without thinking.

Nothing new, hehe.

"I'm not defending her, but we ain't no animals, punk. We have rules, and no matter the crime, we act by these rules. And I won't allow someone to take matters into his own hands because that someone is incapable of handling his emotions!"
"Make me."
Stoker gave the white furred mouse a confused look.
"Come on, old timer. Make me stand down. For old times sake..."
The insolence on Vinnie's face made Stoker livid.
He knew he was being provoked.
Just as he knew that he needed to ignore it.
But as usual, his own ego couldn't stand this, couldn't let this slide.
That was the problem with him and Vinnie.
They both had ego's bigger than Mars.

Conflicting natures.

And even if Stoker was supposed to know better, supposed to be older and therefore wiser, he did the exact thing Vinnie wanted him to do.
And that was starting the fight.
He clenched his fist and lashed out, but Vinnie was prepared and dodged it.
Before Stoker could blink, he felt Vinnie's fist crash against his lower jaw.
And that was the start of a huge fight, both needing the emotional release after everything that happened.

…

Throttle and Carbine were on their way to the cells, walking hand in hand through the hallways.
"Why is it that every time we try to have some fun, something like this happens?", Carbine sighed tiredly.
"Guess it's part of living in a war. There's no time to get a break. To breathe", Throttle answered flatly.
"At least nobody died today."
"What did the doc say? Is she gonna be okay?"
"She will. She just needs time to recover."
"Luckily Modo is capable of taking care of Shaylon. They have this connection… It's pretty amazing."
"Yeah, I saw that too. I hope Stoker has been able to get some answers."

When they walked around the corner, an auburn furred guard called Cas almost bumped into them.
"Ah, just the two I was looking for. Is Modo with you?", he asked as his eyes scanned the empty hallway behind them.
"No, why?", Throttle asked a little confused.
"Because it's that time again…", Cas sighed. "I tried to separate them, but I need an extra pair of hands."
The auburn furred mouse had joined the Freedom Fighters shortly after Vinnie, so this wasn't exactly new for him.
It wasn't the first time he needed Throttle, Modo, or both to handle this.
Carbine and Throttle shared a confused look, but then it dawned on the tan furred mouse.
"Man… not again… Honestly, sometimes it feels like we're running a kindergarten instead of a resistance."
Throttle quickened his pace, followed by Carbine and Cas.
Carbine was still standing in the dark, but when they entered the small room which led to the cells, she immediately understood.

A white,- and brown furred mouse were rolling over the floor, caught in a fight that didn't look friendly.
Throttle signed to Cas to grab Stoker and went for Vinnie himself.
After a small struggle, they managed to separate the two and Throttle pushed Vinnie against the wall.
Cas did the same with Stoker but on the other side of the room.
Carbine set up in the middle as she folded her arms.
"What the hell is going on here?", she asked with her most threatening voice.
"He started", Vinnie immediately blurted out as he wiped off his bleeding nose, but still with that cheeky and arrogant glance in his eyes.
"What? Oh, come on! You practically asked for it, punk!", Stoker yelled back, already on his way towards Vinnie again with clenched fists, but Cas stopped him and pushed him back against the wall.
"Right, if that's what's helping ya sleep at night", Vinnie answered innocently.

But luckily for Stoker, Throttle knew Vinnie.
And he knew that the white furred mouse had provoked their coach, long enough for him to snap.
"Drop the act and shut up, Vincent", he ordered.
Vinnie folded his arms and his tail lashed through the air, but apparently, miracles did exist and he kept his mouth shut.
"I can't believe this! We ain't kids anymore, so stop acting like one!", Carbine yelled furious, her eyes fuming as she looked from Stoker to Vinnie and back.

Stoker let out his breath.
Dammit, she was right. He should've known better.
They all knew that that white furred loudmouth wasn't the most grown-up mouse on this base and that sometimes, when the going got tough, he could act downright childish.
It was up to him to be the grown-up, to rise above it.
But this time, the punk got the best of him.
Simply because he was nearing the end of his rope.
The whole thing with Harley had cost him more than he liked to admit.
And the fact that she almost died today didn't help either

"You're right, Carbine. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"I wonder where I heard that before…", she answered sarcastically, but then her face softened. "Did you talk to the girl?"
Stoker signed to Cas he had himself back under control and the auburn furred mouse let him go, saluted and left the room.
"I tried, but she's stonewalling. Maybe you should give it a try."
"Hey! I wanted to talk to her, but you didn't even let me near her! And now Carbine…", Vinnie started, but Throttle gave him such a deathly glare, he ate the rest of the words and bit his lower lip in anger.
"Of course he didn't let you near her, you're not exactly subtle, jesus", Carbine snapped at him.
"She's right, Vincent. You're too emotionally involved", Throttle added.
"Besides, dead people don't talk", Stoker weighted in.
Vinnie's fur bristled, but Throttle had it.
"I'm so not in the mood for this, Vincent. Get out of my face, now."
"But…"
"NOW!"
"Okay, okay! Slow your roll, dude. Jesus…", Vinnie mumbled as he made a hasty retreat.

Provoking Stoker and Carbine was one thing, but provoking Throttle…
Well, that was a suicide mission.
And he was way too cool to die.
Time to track down Kiwi.
He needed some serious stress release and no better way to do that than with sex.
Besides, it was their wedding night after all.
Weren't you supposed to have sex during your wedding night?
And nothing, not even a crazy ass bitch trying to kill his girl was gonna be able to stop him and his beloved Kiwi.
Not tonight.

…

Carbine took place across the girl, who was sitting on a chair with her hands tied to the table that was standing between the two Martian females.
The light grey furred female mouse studied the one who was responsible for this mess and she couldn't help getting the feeling she knew her.
But it was hard to tell.
The girl was all skin and bone.
By the looks of things, her fur used to be silver, but that was just a guess since it was covered with dirt.
Her fingernails were gnawed to the bone and she was wearing a few rags that used to be clothes.
It was clear to Carbine that the girl, whoever she was, went through a rough time.

She cleared her throat, but the girl kept her brown eyes low, avoiding any sort of contact with Carbine.
"Is there something I can get for you?", Carbine started.
No response.
"Something to drink, maybe? Or to eat?"
Still nothing.
"Clothes?"

Suddenly, the head of the girl jerked up and looked at Carbine with fuming eyes.
"You can drop the act now, Carbine. We all know this ain't who you are."
Carbine blinked a few times.
"How do you know my name?"
The girl let out a humorless laugh.
"Out of sight, out of mind, huh? Harsh. But not surprising at all."

Carbine started to feel annoyed, I mean, who did she think she was, talking to her like that?
"I don't know what I did to make you this angry, but I don't appreciate your tone, lady. And above all, let's not forget it was you who showed up at a wedding while waving a gun. You want me to drop the act? Fine. Since the time for games is over, you better start talking. Who are you and why are you here?"
"You really don't recognize me, now do you?", the girl asked with her eyes narrowed and a slightly disgusted look on her face.
"Why don't you help me refresh my memory a little, huh?"
"Sure. I used to live on this base. I was a happy girl until I met him."
"Who?"
"Vinnie."

Carbine stared at her, suddenly it started to dawn on her.
But that was impossible…
"You're dead."
"Apparently, I'm not. I don't feel particularly alive either, but dead… not that much."
"You killed yourself, I found your letter…"
"My letter, not my body. I just left. I never said I was going to kill myself…", the girl interrupted her.

Carbine's heart almost exploded in her chest.
"How did you get in here?"
"Like I said, I used to live here. I know the way, including the few secret entrances. It really wasn't that hard."
"And you came back, because...?"
"To kill her. If I can't have him, no one can."

The girl spoke calmly, but her whole body gave away her anger.
It was more than anger.
Hatred came closest.

Insanity.

Carbine couldn't sit here for a second longer.
She needed to get the hell outta here, she needed time to process this.
Without saying a word, she jumped at her feet and almost ran outta the room.
She closed the door behind her with a bang and leaned against it, the back of her head resting against the cold metal.
Her whole body was shaking, her stomach tied in a knot.
Jesus.

"Babe, you okay?"
Throttle's husky and calm voice brought her back to reality. He was standing in front of her, a worried look on his face.
"Hey, easy now… You look like you've seen a ghost…"
"I kinda did…", Carbine breathed, wiping off her forehead. "I know who she is."
Throttle gave her a questionable look.
Carbine took a deep breath.
"Rose. Her name is Rose."

…

"Come on little fella, it's time to go to bed", Modo said gently, but firm.
Shaylon shook his head as he clung onto his mother.
"No, I need to be here when she wakes up", he answered.
"I know you want to, but ya can't help your mom if you're too tired. If ya wanna help her, you need to take care of yourself first."
Shaylon still didn't let Harley go, who was lying in one of the beds at the infirmary.
Modo gave him some time.

"I… I don't think I can sleep…", Shaylon whispered after a long silence.
His small voice caused a pang of pain in the gray furred giant's heart.
The poor little fella had already seen too much for a boy of his age.
"Why don't we go for a ride?', Modo blurted out.
That took the boys attention, looking over his shoulders with his blue eyes wide open in surprise.
"A.. a ride?"
"Yeah, why not?. When I've got a lot on my mind, I go for a ride. Helps me clear the head a little."
"And I can come with you?"
Modo chuckled as he lay a hand on Shaylon's shoulder.
"You can even sit in front of me if that's what you want. So, what do ya say?"
Shaylon jumped at his feet and already sprinted to the door.
Modo quickly followed him, still a smile on his face.
"I'll take that as a yes."

Earlier this week, he had noticed that Shaylon was crazy about bikes and even more crazy about Lil' Hoss.
The whole way to the garage, Shaylon kept babbling about everything he knew about bikes, his voice finally sounding more to his age.
The glitter in his eyes showed Modo that despite everything the boy had been through, he wasn't lost yet.

That gave him hope, actually. A feeling he desperately needed after tonight.
It had been such a beautiful night, full of love and joy.
And of course, it had to end like this.
He didn't know what he was surprised about.
I mean, this had become the story of his life.
Their life.

Death.

Everywhere they looked, there was death.
But seeing this little boy this happy, made him forget about all that.
Even if it was just this moment.
But better small moments than nothing at all.

When they drove out of the garage, they didn't see that someone was watching them leave.
Amira was leaning against the doorway, a smile on her face as she watched them go.
For the first time she'd met Modo, he looked happy.
Well, actually every time he was with the boy, he was happy.
Real happy.
The always visible worried glance in his eye gone for a moment.
He loved children.
He was crazy about them.
And he was good with them.

Amira lay her hand on her flat stomach, a dreamy expression on her face.
Thank the Mothers of Mars he loved children.

…

"Sweetheart! Sweetheart, I… OH."
Vinnie burst inside Kiwi's room but stopped dead in his tracks when he found her crying on her bed.
She was still wearing her dress, but her hair was already back to the usual mess.
As she held her pillow tightly, tears streamed down her face.
Vinnie walked closer and sat down on the bed next to her.
"Hey babe, why are you crying?"
Kiwi jerked upright and gave him a deadly glare with swollen eyes.
"You really just asked me that?", she asked with a shaky voice.

Vinnie, taken back by this sudden hostility, blinked a few times.
Guess there was something after all that was gonna stop him and his beloved Kiwi.
He just was surprised it was his beloved Kiwi herself...
"I uh… Yeah, but I guess it was a stupid question…", he mumbled.
"Ya think? Lemme tell ya what I think; stupid is not covering the load at all. Stupid is nothing more but an understatement!"
Vinnie stared at her as he created some distance between them.
"Uh… okay?"

But Kiwi wasn't finished yet.
"I just don't know how long I'm gonna be able to take this! Every time, every goddamn time when I feel a pang of happiness, something happens and BAM! Misery all over again! Even tonight, even at our fucking wedding, that was supposed to be a night full of love and joy, someone ends up almost dead! It's starting to become a habit and I am NOT amused! My life was almost perfect; my parents die in the most gruesome way right in front of me. I meet you; I end up living on a different planet in the middle of a war. Our relationship is going well; your long lost ex-girlfriend shows up. I get pregnant; I lose the baby and if that's not already bad enough, I also lose the chance to be a mom FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! And no, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be a mom in the first place but now the choice is made for me, goddammit! I'm getting married; a random girl shows up and tries to kill me, but remember that long lost ex-girlfriend I mentioned? She catches the bullet for me because she wants YOU to be happy! I'm just a little fucking pawn in this game that's called my life and you ask me why I'm crying?!"

She ended her rant, breathing heavily as she looked at him with piercing eyes, one finger pointed at him.
Vinnie opened his mouth but closed it again. His ears twitched, so did the top of his tail.
But he was completely whelmed by Kiwi's outburst and therefore speechless.
His ears drooped and he bit his lower lip as he lowered his gaze.

So here it was.
He knew from the moment the doc spoke to her after the surgery that this day would come.
That everything that was happening in their lives was getting too much.
That the emotions, the pain, was getting too heavy to just lock it away.
It always found its way out, always.
And when it did, it was twice as painful as it was before.

He needed to be there for her.
He wanted to be there for her.
But what could he say?
It wasn't that he could promise everything would be better one day.
That everything was gonna be alright.
That one day, they would live in peace.

Heck, even if he wanted to win this war so desperately, he had no idea what to do when the moment was there.
This war was all he had, it was his life.
What if it was gone, all of a sudden?
What the hell would happen then?
He probably would fall in an abyss darker than imaginable.

Ugh.

He needed to stop thinking like this.
To stop thinking so far ahead.
For now, they were still in war and the biggest problem at this point was Kiwi.
His reason and his life was now standing in the middle of the room, still pointing her finger at him with shaking hand, her eyes narrowed and her usual lovely face now twisted in pain and anger.

Here goes nothing.

"Sweetheart…"
"Do NOT call me sweetheart, not now! Don't you dare to 'sweetheart' me!"

Okay… Note to myself; don't call her sweetheart in a fight.

"Kiwi…", he breathed as he climbed off the bed and he took a few steps into her direction, his hands in front of his body.
"I know, okay? Trust me, I know. This life… It ain't fair. You deserve so much more. I grant you so much more than this…"
He was now close to her and reached out with caution, expecting that she would push him away.
But she didn't.
She just stood there.
Frozen.

So, he gently took her hand and pulled her in his arms.
As he wrapped his arms around her, she started crying again.
He sank on the floor cross-legged and with her in his lap, he just held her.
"Oh, Kiwi… there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for ya… I would shift heaven and Earth if that was possible… I wish I could. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could ease your sorrow… But I can't. All I can is give me to you. All the way. I'll be always here for ya. And for better or for worse… I'm standing by your side. That's all I can give. That's all I can do... I can only hope it's enough...", he whispered with a faint blush under his fur.
It still felt weird to open up.
It took some time to get used to that, that's for sure.

After crying for almost an hour, Kiwi slowly calmed down.
Completely drained out she fell asleep in his arms.
And Vinnie just sat there, holding the most precious person he had in his arms.
He just sat there, the whole night, his whole body cramped from sitting in the same position for such a long time.
But like he said; there's nothing in this world he wouldn't do for her.
For his Kiwi.

Hehehe, and you guys all thought that it was Kiwi who got shot.
Surprise!
So funny.

Anyway, this chapter also had a few small cliffhangers on its own.
And I will do my best to update as soon as possible.

Feel free to leave a review, always helps me to stay motivated.
And thanks for reading my story.

Later dudes!