Hey you guys...

Oh my god, this update took me like, forever!
And I'm so, so sorry!

I know where I wanna go with this story, but I got stuck in the details and it blocked about everything.
But finally, I had the brainwave I so desperately needed and here we are.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews, especially for the last one, since that triggered my brain to come up with this chapter.
For those who have reviewed Breaking The Habit, if you read this; thanks!
Really appreciate it.

And now, on with the story!
Enjoy! ^^

Chapter 16

"I'm not buying it. Not for a single moment", Vinnie told his friends as he looked at the HQ of the Plutarkians with his arms folded, his tail sweeping back and forth, giving away his unease.
"You're only saying that because you don't remember how it's like to live in peace", Modo contradicted, also staring at the building that as far as he could tell was, indeed, deserted.
The white-furred mouse grinded his teeth in annoyance, for his older bro was right.
As fucked up as it was, he had no idea how to live a life without having a war raging around him. Truth to be told, it scared him more than he liked to admit.
But no way that he was going to say that out loud.
"And you are only saying that because you desperately hold on to a world where everything is all happy happy joy joy, so you can settle down, go fishing every day and have an army of kids. But that ain't my life, bro. Simply because I don't believe in it. It doesn't exist. Something ain't right."

"What are you saying, Vincent?", Throttle asked while using his helmet to zoom in on the building.
"I'm saying that this is a trap. It's too easy."
"Maybe Eguzkia is finally on our side for once, punk", Stoker pointed out, rubbing his chin as he leaned back on his bike.
"Ha, right. Like I believe that. She wasn't here when we needed her the most, so fuck Eguzkia."
"Vinnie is right, guys. I don't trust this. It doesn't feel right", Kiwi's voice came over the speakers.
"I dunno… Maybe we're being too paranoid. I mean, we knew we were close to winning the war, right? Maybe they gave up, finally knowing that they will never have Mars", Carbine mused.
"Ugh, come on! Winning, dying, we all do that in a blaze of glory, no exception! They can't just leave like this! Not without a grande finale!", Vinnie protested, sounding more panicked than he wanted.
But the thing was, this whole thing made him more than just nervous.
What if they were really gone?
Just like that?
That would mean no more fighting, no more unexpected occurrences, no more distractions, no more Vinnie van Victory...
No more pain, no more death...

"Easy now, adrenaline mouse. We still don't know what is going on here", Throttle tried to calm down his young bro, but as usual, the effect was counterproductive.
"Let's find out then."
And before anyone could stop him, the white-furred mouse was already gone.
"Vinnie, stop! You said it yourself, it's a trap!", Kiwi tried to stop her beloved macho mouse, but not even she could get through to him.
"So? Like that's gonna stop me. It never did, so why now?"
Throttle shook his head and shared a look with Stoker before closing his visor.
There was only one thing to do.
"Vinnie, wait up. We're coming with you."
And with roaring engines, the group followed the distressed white-furred mouse, some with hope, some with suspicion, some with both.

Vinnie was the first one to reach the building and he hit the brakes as he opened his visor to sniff the air, searching for a clue that this was an ambush.
But the air was fresh, almost like it had been before the war and goosebumps spread across his body.
This wasn't happening, right?
Not like this.
As he jumped off his bike, he noticed that his legs were a bit shaky and he clenched his teeth.
This was crazy.
Beyond crazy.
Why was he panicking about peace?
That was like the definition of uncool and besides, wasn't that where he'd fought for, all this time?
Where he'd risked his life for, over and over again?
Freedom.
All he ever wanted was freedom.
And now he was about to get it and all he could do was panicking.
Because he had no idea how to handle it.
How to live a life in peace.
How stupid was that?
Next to pathetic.
Ugh.

When the group reached him, Throttle stopped next to Vinnie and laid a hand on his shoulder.
The young mouse looked up at him, his ruby-red eyes filled with despair and confusion, but the tan-furred mouse only gave him a small nod, to tell his young bro that he understood.
That he knew what was going on right now and that it was okay.
Soon, a certain calmness washed over Vinnie.
It didn't take away the panic, but it at least made it a bit more bearable and the white-furred mouse let out his breath as his muscles started to relax.
After giving him a warm smile, Throttle looked at Stoker, waiting for orders.

The brown-furred leader of the resistance rubbed his temples in an attempt to ease his pounding headache, the one that had popped up right after taking a Mind Walk through Rose's mind, but it didn't make it better.
A good night sleep was all that would, but there was no time.
There never was.
Well, maybe soon, there would be and he let out his breath.
"Let's split up. Throttle, you, Modo and the punk take this side of the building. Carbine, you're with me. You too, Kiwi", he added over the radio.
"Copy that", the human girl answered and the drone now floated near Carbine's head, much to the light-grey-furred female's annoyance.
"Get that thing out of my face", she snapped while waving a hand as if she tried to slap away a fly and the drone took a bit more distance in response.
"Sorry."

Stoker looked at Throttle, somehow feeling proud at who the tan-furred mouse had become.
A good leader.
Wise.
Patient.
Calm.
Okay…
This kind of came out of the blue.
Even for him.
This whole thing made him more sentimental than was realistic.
He still had no idea if this was the end he so desperately yearned for, for Vinnie could be right.
Although he hoped not for many obvious reasons.
Still.
It could be a trap.
Therefore, he needed to keep his head in the game.
And so he did.
"Check in every five minutes, okay rookie? We meet in the middle."
"Got it. Come on, bro's. Let's find out what the hell is going on here."
And after giving Carbine a quick kiss, the tan-furred mouse pulled the door open and disappeared in the dark, followed by his bro's.
"Be careful, Throttle…", Carbine whispered before following Stoker to the other side of the building, the drone flying with them on a safe distance this time.

...

"Is Rose gonna be okay?", Modo asked as they made their way through the hallway, checking every room they encountered.
Throttle shrugged while looking into the room on his right, which was empty, he soon found out.
"I guess we'll find out when she wakes up."
Modo nodded in response, contemplating if he needed to tell his bro's that Amira was pregnant, but he wasn't sure if this was the right time.
It only seemed to be the right time if this whole thing was a trap, because who knew what would happen if it was and he felt a certain sadness by the thought alone that his bro's would die without knowing this unexpected but great news.
But his guts told him that it wasn't a trap.
Or perhaps he just hoped it wasn't.
Vinnie was right, he truly believed in a peaceful world.
There was nothing he wanted more right now.
To just be able to breathe.
To be free.
They all deserved that, especially after everything they all had been through.
So, maybe his hope for this peaceful life was blurring his vision, stopping him from seeing things the way they were.
But was that really a bad thing?
He thought it wasn't.
Having hope was all that kept him going.
To stay on his feet.

Not to mention that he was going to be a father.
He would do anything to make sure that his child was going to grow up in a peaceful world.
To protect him or her from the pain and misery that came with war.
To protect him or her from being damaged.
Because they all were.
Especially Vinnie, a thing that became painfully clear again by seeing his distress.
The poor guy had no idea how the handle the prospect of a quiet and peaceful life and knowing him, he was probably convinced that he needed the war to feel alive.
Maybe he did.
They were all living in this mess for so long now.
Even Modo found it hard to remember how things were before all this.
All he knew was that it was peaceful.
Filled with love.
It was blurry though.
Nothing more but a vague memory, overshadowed by death itself.
He also knew that there was nothing he could say or do to take away Vinnie's unease, so he didn't even try and focussed his attention back on their task, namely; searching the building.

The very same building that carried so many memories, all bad.
The building where he got his arm, where Throttle got his eyes, where Vinnie got his PTSD…
That building.
Which now felt empty.
Dead.
Almost serene.
As if it was cleansed of all evil.
Still, the grey-furred giant decided that it wasn't the place to tell his friends about the pregnancy.
Not here.
Not in this place where their world had stopped spinning that awful day.
Not even something beautiful like new life could beat the darkness they had seen while being captured here.
Nothing could.
So, he kept his mouth shut and continued his search, but still with his mind miles away.
Almost praying for this rumor to be true.
Freedom.
It had never been this close.
He could only hope it wouldn't slip through their furry fingers again.
Not now it was so close that he could taste it and by the Gods, he really tasted something sweet.
Hope.
Hope was all he needed.

…

Meanwhile, Carbine and Stoker silently wandered through the empty hallways with the drone zooming closeby and the former General glanced at the brown-furred mouse next to her, who was awfully quiet.
Since this wasn't a conversation she wanted Kiwi to witness, Carbine turned to the drone.
"Kiwi, you fly ahead and check the right part of the building. We'll catch up."
"Copy that", and the drone disappeared in the hallway on their right, taking its annoying zooming sound with it and Carbine heaved a sigh in relief as she muted the small microphone from the radio inside her helmet, telling Stoker he needed to do the same.
The brown-furred mouse gave her a questionable look, but did what he was told.
"What did you see?", Carbine asked point-blank.
Stoker gave her another confused look in response, but Carbine suspected him from knowing perfectly well what she was referring to.
"Rose. You haven't said a word since you left that room. Was it that bad?"
"This hardly seems the place to talk about that, Carbine", Stoker answered shortly and opened a door on his left, only to see another empty room.
"Hey, we're walking straight into an ambush for all I know. So the way I see it, it's the perfect place to tell me what you've seen."

When Stoker didn't answer, Carbine sighed and grabbed his arm to stop him.
"Listen, I need to know, okay? She's my niece, and next to Jax the only family I've left. So, just tell me. I can handle it, no matter how bad it is."
"It's not necessarily bad, more like crazy and I haven't decided yet whether it's just me seeing things or that it's actually true", Stoker eventually answered a bit evasive and Carbine rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"Stop talking in riddles and just tell me already. I can decide for myself if it's crazy or not."
She already realized how sharp her tone of voice was even before the brown-furred mouse gave her a meaningful look and she bit on her tongue.
She didn't mean to sound so angry all the time, even if she was.
But Stoker didn't deserve to be targeted, not after everything he had done for her.
So, she took a deep breath to calm herself down and gave her mentor and friend a pleading, but sincere look.
"Please. I need to know."
"You're gonna make fun of me, I just know it."
"I won't. I promise."

Stoker ran a hand through his hair as he heaved a sigh before looking Carbine straight in the eye.
"I think that Vinnie is the reincarnation of Rose's deceased brother."
Carbine stared at him for a while before bursting into laughter, despite her promise.
But this was crazy, even for Stoker and she just couldn't stop herself.
Much to Stoker's annoyance.
"See, I told ya. This is why I didn't wanna tell. I just knew you were gonna react like this", the brown-furred mouse grumbled as he walked away, clearly she had bruised his ego.
"Oh, Stoker, come on! Don't be like this. You've gotta admit that this sounds ridiculous", Carbine called after him, but he ignored her and she now felt a pang of guilt.
So, she quickly followed him and blocked his way.
"I'm sorry, okay? It's just… well, this was the last thing I expected, but still, I shouldn't have laughed. I'm sorry", she apologized while looking up at him from under her lashes.
Stoker sighed when he saw her puppy-eyes.
"Okay, fine. Let's just forget it ever happened and move on, before the punk finds something first. I'm not in the mood to deal with him rubbing in my face that he was right all along."

As he walked further, Carbine followed him with his eyes.
Even though her initial reaction was one in disbelief, she couldn't stop herself from wondering what had made him come to this crazy conclusion.
So, after a moment of searching the rooms in silence, she opened her mouth again.
"What makes you think that Vinnie is Finn's... you know what?"
Somehow, she couldn't say the word out loud, probably because she was still having a hard time believing this.
A very hard time, actually.
But she couldn't deny the fact that her curiosity was piqued as well.
Stoker opened a few drawers and pretended to be interested in the content before answering her question.
"It's hard to explain, actually. But her connection with him felt different. Stronger than a love connection and, as far as I know, there is only one bond stronger than love."
"Family", Carbine said softly and Stoker nodded.
"Twins, to be exact. Look, it's just a guess. Vinnie is born in the same year as Rose and if I've got my facts straight, only a few minutes after Finn died. When I saw Rose, how far gone she was, along with the story Jax told me about her brother, my guts told me there was more to it, even more than the whole broken twin concept. That feeling grew even bigger when I crawled inside her head, because the connection was almost impossible to break, which is weird if we're just talking about a love connection here. This is more than just love."
"But did it work? Did you manage to break it?"
"I think so, yes. But we know for sure when she wakes up."

Carbine nodded as she processed his words, but it was a lot to take in.
"So you think that when Finn died, his soul searched for another body and that happened to be… Vinnie's?", she asked a bit hesitant.
"Something like that. Twin souls are different than others. They always need another half to feel whole, to feel… complete, so it isn't a strange thought that Finn searched for another twin to be part of. I think that's the reason why Rose's soul clicked with Vinnie's as soon as she laid eyes on him. Because that's how it was initially meant to be."
"But why didn't Vinnie's soul click with Rose's?"
"Maybe because he didn't need her the way she needed him… Or maybe, in the end, it wasn't meant to be. Look, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, so did Finn's death. There must be a reason why the universe wanted to let Rose walk alone."
"What reason?"
"Beats me, to be honest", Stoker snickered sheepishly.
"There are so many things we don't understand."

Carbine bit her lower lip and looked at Stoker.
"Still… It kind of makes sense, you know? I'm not sure why, but it just feels… logic."
"I know, right? I had the same feeling after taking that Mind Walk. Ah well, we'll probably never know exactly what happened. All I know for sure is that I did everything within my power to set Rose free from her demons. I can only hope it worked."
"I'm sure it did."
"We'll see, and I hope we do. Come on, we need to hurry", and Stoker continued his search, followed by Carbine.
Who was still deep in thought, praying for Rose.
For her niece.
If this didn't work, there was nothing she could do to save her.
Maybe that's why Stoker's explanation made sense, somehow.
Because she was clearly powerless here.
There was nothing she could do to help Rose.
Nothing.
And she hated it.
Therefore, she clung to every other person who could.
Everything was better than to feel completely powerless, no matter how crazy the theory was.
As long as it could help Rose, it was good.

…

As they came closer to the center of the building, Vinnie's distress grew and grew and not only because they were approaching the lab where Jester had broken his soul.
No, as they wandered through the building, it became more and more clear that it was deserted, for there wasn't a single clue that the fish were still here, hiding, waiting to jump on them.
When the white-furred mouse walked into another empty room, he let out a growl in frustration.
"Goddammit, show yourself, you cowards! I know you're here! So come out and fight like a man instead of hiding like the weak fish you pretend not to be!"
"I dunno, Vin, it seems like they're really gone…", Modo told his youngest bro as he too walked into the room and he opened the closet in the corner, as if it was able to hide an entire army.
"This ain't Narnia, for fuck sake", Vinnie snapped at him as he pushed the grey-furred giant aside and closed the doors with a loud bang.
"Hey, a mouse can dream, right?", Modo responded imperturbably as he already continued his way, soon followed by a very agitated white-furred mouse.

Throttle joined them and together, they walked to the door that led to the lab.
Well, there was supposed to be a door, but a certain white-furred adrenaline junkie had blown it up during their latest rescue mission.
Throttle glanced at the very same certain mouse, to see how he was handling the fact that they were about to walk into the lab, but Vinnie was too riled up to notice.
"This ain't right, goddammit. This ain't how you end a war. You don't just disappear into nothingness. Honestly, I fucking hate my life right now", he muttered under his breath, his fur bristled and exaggerating as usual.
The tan-furred mouse wasn't sure whether it was the fact that the Plutarkians were gone without giving him one last fight that made him this upset or simply because he had no idea what to expect if it turned out that the war was really over.
He suspected the latter, and he had to admit, even he felt a bit uncomfortable by all this.
Still, he would be more than happy if this was the end of all misery.
That would mean that they had survived and that they were safe now.
But as mentioned before, this was easy, too easy and not how he'd pictured it all this time, not even close.
Therefore, he shared Vinnie's worries.
Then again, maybe the war had made him a bit too paranoid.
Who knew?
There wasn't really that much left for the fish to transport to Plutark, given the fact that the war had turned the once beautiful planet called Mars into a carcass.
And after their last fight, the Plutarkian army was seriously depleted.
So why stay?
Why don't take your losses and get the hell out of here?
He would, if this planet wasn't his home.
But it was.
And it always will be.
No matter how broken it was.

They walked into the lab at the same time Stoker and Carbine did.
"And?", Throttle asked when they came together, even though he already knew the answer.
Stoker shrugged as he looked around him.
"Nothing. It seems to be deserted, which means that they're really gone."
"Why does everyone make it sound like that's a bad thing? This is good, right? This means that the war is over", Carbine interfered, even though she felt the same suspiciousness but she tried to be optimistic for once.
One was never too old to try something new.
"Sure. Now all we need to do is rebuilt", Stoker added tiredly, squeezing the bridge of his nose.
"He's right. The war might be over, but there's still a lot of work to do", Throttle agreed with his mentor.
"But we'll be safe, right? Isn't that what counts the most?", Modo contradicted.
"Who wants to be safe? Safe is boring", Vinnie spat out, but the group ignored him.
Nothing new.

So, as they were trying to figure out what their next move would be, Vinnie broke from the group and made his way towards the room where he'd lost about everything.
He wasn't sure why, but he felt this unexplainable need to take a look inside the room, which was weird, for he usually ran away from his pain, preferably as far as possible.
Hearing the zooming sound of the drone, he knew Kiwi followed him and despite his bad mood, his lips curled into a small smile.
Always so helpful, his Kiwi.
And she knew him just too well.
"Are you sure you wanna do this?"
"No", he answered, but he still didn't stop and before he knew it, he was already standing at the door with his hand on the doorknob.
"Maybe you shouldn't go in there… I mean, what if it triggers too much?"
"But what if it doesn't?"
"Hm. Fair point."
"I know."
"My my, that ego of yours…"
"You love it."
"I do, strangely enough."
"I know, sweetheart."

But despite his bravado towards Kiwi, Vinnie felt his heart almost exploding out of his chest by only standing at this door.
The door to hell.
He was somehow scared to open it, but going back wasn't an option either.
Come on, it's just a room.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So, after taking a deep breath, he turned the doorknob and with a soft click, the door opened.
But instead of going inside, Vinnie kept staring at his feet.
He needed a little time to scrape every bit of courage he owned together, if only to look inside the room where his life had changed forever.
Softly and without any warning, he heard Jester's soft humming in his head and sweat already streamed down his back.
Every cell in his body screamed that he needed to get the hell out of here, to run away and never look back.
But he didn't.
In fact, he even raised his head and looked inside the room.
The room from which he'd thought he would never see again.
Well, at least he'd hoped that he wouldn't.
It looked different than he remembered though.
Less… scary.
Perhaps it had been Jester's presence that had made it feel like hell itself.

He took a few steps forward as his ruby-red eyes wandered through the room, along the moldy walls, the bloodstains on the floor and eventually, his gaze landed on the table in the middle of the room.
The black leather cushions.
The with blood-stained leather belts.
The rusty base.
The humming in his head became louder and nausea pressed against his windpipe, making breathing difficult all of a sudden.
The panic he'd felt the moment he'd heard that the war might be over was now threatening to overwhelm him and his legs almost gave out.
But then there was Kiwi.
His reason and his life.
His savior.
"Easy now, Vin. Breathe. Just breathe. You're safe. No one is gonna hurt you."

He tried.
He really tried.
But even if it had seemed to be a good idea to go in here, he now wished he hadn't.
It brought back too many memories.
Too much pain.
Too much horror.
If he had to be honest, it was still too much for him to bear.
Coming here was clearly a mistake.
"Breathe, love, breathe."
Jester's humming now overruled the beautiful sound of her voice and Vinnie fell on his knees, ripping off his helmet in the process so he could cover his ears.
"Stop…"
But the sound only became louder and louder.
"Please, stop…"

"Oh, oh, oh, you... you silly you... I'm only trying to help you."

The pain was back.
As if the right side of his face was on fire.
It was unbearable.
This wasn't real.
This wasn't happening.
This was just a sick game his brain played with him in order to deal with the immense trauma.
He knew, and yet, it felt so real.
As if he was back.
Back to that horrible day.
That day when Jester broke his spirit.

"Easy now, mousie. Things will be okay!"

It was crazy how this all still affected him.
Here he was, lying helplessly on the floor, begging for it to stop.
So weak.
It made him furious all of a sudden.
"Shut up!", Vinnie screamed as he hit the floor with clenched fists.
"They will NOT be okay, goddammit! I will NEVER be okay! Thanks to you! So STOP pretending that it's okay what you did to me because it's NOT!"
His voice echoed against the walls and when the last tone slowly faded, Vinnie opened his eyes, breathing heavily.
The humming was gone.
The pain in his face was gone.
He was still shaking and tears still streamed down his face, but he was alone again.

"Vinnie? Vinnie, are you okay?", he heard Kiwi's voice in the distance and he looked around him a bit dazed, rubbing away his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.
But just when he wanted to grab his helmet to put it back on so he could answer her, he froze again.
Something wasn't right here.
Something was different.
Or was it because he didn't remember it right?
Did trauma cloud his memory?
No.
That crate hadn't been there.
And now it was.
Still too shaky to stand up, he crawled to the black box in the corner, the one that wasn't there in his memory.
"Vinnie, please, talk to me."
But the white-furred mouse ignored her as he reached out a trembling hand, his stomach already tied in a knot again.
Something was wrong.
Very wrong.
Slowly, he took off the lid and when he saw what was inside, his eyes grew big.
"Uh oh…"

…

Meanwhile, in Braavos, Kiwi almost crept into her screen, her heart pounding in her chest.
"What do you mean, 'uh oh'? What the hell is going on, Vinnie?", she demanded, sounding way more hysteric than she wanted.
But seeing him like this just broke her heart and all she wanted right now was to pull him in her arms.
To hold him.
To tell him that everything was going to be okay.
That his fears were far behind him.
But she couldn't, simply because she wasn't physically there.
And now, something seemed to be wrong and all she could do was watch.
"Come on, grab your helmet and talk to me, goddammit!"

He didn't though.
Her eyes followed him every movement as she clung to the table in fear.
She saw how he scrambled back on his feet.
How he stumbled to the door.
How he yelled something to the others, something she couldn't hear since he was too far away from the radio.
"Vinnie, what…"
But suddenly, a loud bang almost blew up her eardrums and she reflexively ripped the headphone off of her head while her heart made few backflips, so did her stomach.
She looked back at the screen with her blue eyes wide open, but only to see a flash of light before it became black.
For a moment, she was too shocked to react and she just stared at the screen, her entire body tensed.
But then, sheer panic suddenly rushed through her veins, spreading it like wildfire and she started to pound on the keyboard like some kind of maniac in an attempt to get back visual, even though she already knew that it was pointless.
But she had to try.
She had to do… something.
She was willing to do anything to stop this pain from entering her body.

It was then when two silver-furred hands grabbed hers and her first reaction was one in anger.
Well, more like pure fury.
"LET ME GO! I need to fix this, goddammit, so let me go! I can fix this!", she yelled almost hysterically, hardly recognizing her own voice.
Not that she cared right now.
It did scare her though.
But why didn't he just let her go?
She could fix this and she would, if he just...
"There's nothing you can do, Kiwi. They're gone…"
Jax's words crawled through her head like spiders.
They're gone…
They're gone…
They're…
...gone…

"NO! No, they're not! He would never leave me! Not like this!", she cried with breaking voice as she still tried to get her hands free, but Jax didn't let go.
In fact, he even pulled the struggling and hysterical human girl in a tight hug, tears burning behind his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Kiwi. I'm so, so sorry…"
"No, no, no, no, don't say that. He's fine! He's fine", Kiwi sobbed, still trying to push him away, but her attempts became weaker and weaker as an unbearable pain crawled into her body.
A pain that crushed her soul, quickly and without remorse.
"He's fine, I'm sure… He would… He's just... Oh god, Vinnie…"
Only saying his name was enough for her to just break and instead of pushing him away, she now clung to Jax, holding him as if he was her lifeline that stopped her from drowning.
But she was already drowning.
And the sad truth was that nothing could save her now.
Not anymore.

"No, Vinnie, please… please, come back to me…. please… don't leave me… all alone..."
She almost choked in her heartache and deep down, she realized that she'd never felt a pain so heavy such as this one.
Not even when her parents died.
It made her even more distraught.
Scared.
Because it could only mean one thing and it all had to with their connection.
A connection, created from love…
Now brutally broken.
Ripped apart.
To never heal again.

Oh my, whatta cliffhanger.
Please don't kill me XD

I aim to update this story more often now, but I can't make any promises.
It kind of depends on my moods, which aren't exactly stable, hehe.
But trust me when I say that I'll do my best!

Feel free to leave a review and till next time, my loyal readers.
Later!