A/N: Avatar the Last Airbender is wholly owned by Nick.

Self-awareness isn't always full awareness. How others view us is truly in the eye of the beholder.

(This was meant to be a one-shot but it's evolved.)

Chapter 16

Insecure

As Katara and Toph walked out of the side room, oddly enough, Suki was waiting for them midway to the reception hall.

"What do you want, another kiss?" the new bride sniped.

The former Kyoshi warrior fell to her knees, placing her forehead to the floor.

The earthbender hovered over the cowtowing woman."So, you overheard us, heh? How much?"

"Something about an imaginary friend."

Katara placed a hand over her mouth and turned in embarrassment.

"No need to be ashamed sweetness, Suki already understood how you felt about Sokka, didn't you fangirl?"

"Yeah, I think everyone in camp back then kind of saw how you felt," Suki disclosed as she sat up.

"EVERYONE?"

"Well not, everyone, Katara, just most of us, the people who knew you two best. Sokka told me you guys had a complicated childhood and that it was far from normal. I never held it against you. Spirits, my childhood can't be called normal either. I was never expected even to have a boyfriend; let alone get married."

"So, why is the Fire Lady out here on her knees?" Toph asked as she crossed her arms. "Are you looking at having this type of floor in your palace? I can recommend some really good carvers."

"No, Toph. The flooring we have is fine. I saw you two leave, and I wanted to talk to both of you. Toph, you don't hide your feelings very well, and I know you've been mad at me for a long time."

"No skunk-bear shit! You must be a fricken genius!"

Suki's entire body shook at the sarcastic comment. "I… I get it Toph. I really do, and not just because of what I just heard. You've always have had a tender spot for Sokka, and I know you would do just about anything to protect him."

"So what's your point?"

"My point is… well, can we go back into that room, and… close the door this time? I really don't want anybody else hearing this."

Both Katara and Toph blushed at their prior oversight.

After Suki got to her feet, the three entered the room, and this time the waterbender made sure to close the door.

"So spill it, cheater," Toph growled. "What excuse do you want to make now about why you broke his heart!"

Suki began to pace the floor. "This isn't an excuse for what I did to Sokka. I hurt him, but I never meant to! I mean, yeah, I was jealous of you…"

"Jealous of me? You had him, Suki. You guys were hitting it whenever you were together! Why were you jealous of me? Your screw up is not my fault! I didn't do anything to lead him on! So I don't get it!"

"She has the same reason I've had! I've been jealous of you Toph, like forever!" Katara interjected unexpectedly.

Toph rubbed her blind eyes in frustration. "Whoa! This isn't making any sense! You and Suki, jealous of me Sugar Queen? I mean, you had Aang and you… fangirl, you and Sokka weren't shy or quiet about what the two of you were doing! You guys were worse than screech-cats in heat, making all that noise!"

Katara placed a hand on Toph's shoulder. "We're not talking about the sexy stuff Toph. We're talking about how they looked at you… both Aang and Sokka. How they always talked like you were so special. When I started to whine to Sokka, he would say to me; hey, Toph isn't complaining, and she's blind! I hated it so much when he did that, I just wanted to freeze that smirk right off his face. And then Aang would say what a great Sifu your were and how strong and talented you were. I swear, he'd go on about it forever!"

"Well, Aang I could understand, I am pretty amazing, but Sokka has always seen me as a little kid."

Suki shook her head. "That's not true. That time you thought I was him saving you, and you gave me that kiss on the cheek, well that lit a fire under me Toph. I tried before to connect with him, but he was shutting me out, and I didn't know why. I thought for sure we would be doing it by then, but he pushed me away. I figured he had a crush on somebody else, and with Katara being his sister, that just left you! That kiss confirmed my suspicions, so I figured if I didn't get his attention, you would," she confessed. "That's why I was determined not to leave until I sealed the deal. Pretty shameless, right? Me jealous of a kid."

"I'd say."

Tears began to roll down Suki's cheeks. "It was all your fault you know, for being so great, that I even suspected that he would be interested in you! He just kept going on about how you fought at that Earth Rumble thing and took out all those guys, singlehandedly. Then, do you remember how you stopped that guy from falling and him from being crushed in the Serpent's Pass? He would remind me of how we owed our lives to you… again and again and again."

"He did? I didn't think he noticed any of that. He seemed to be just looking at you, Suki."

"That's what it may have seemed like to you, but I can tell you, he was watching your every move, especially that big butt."

Toph couldn't help but smile and flush. "He… he was looking at my butt?"

"Couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of it. I got distracted by seeing how distracted he was, looking at your ass Toph! I figured since we weren't going out at the time, if I said anything, I would just look like a jealous bitch."

"Huh, maybe you were over thinking that Suki," Katara offered. "Toph was walking ahead of him and going uphill. Perhaps just the angle... or something like that?"

"Whatever, I just know he seemed to me to be following those hips! As much as I wanted him to look at me, he kept looking her way!"

"See, you were a jealous bitch," Toph pointed out with a smirk. "That idiot probably wanted to make sure I didn't fall off the edge or something like that. He always worried about me being blind."

"I guess that could have been the case. You just didn't seem like a blind person to me, and you still don't. Were you pretending not to be able to swim?"

"What? No, I wasn't pretending! I never even got into anything deeper than a bath before that!"

"And just getting her into a bath was a struggle," Katara mumbled.

"What was that Sweetness?"

"Nothing Toph, nothing at all."

"So Suki, because he pushed you away, you thought he was interested in me? But here you are, this big, bad Kyoshi warrior and you felt intimidated my... me?"

Suki threw up her hands as if in surrender. "Guilty! I thought I couldn't compete with your earthbending skills or that backside of yours. But I knew one thing I was willing to do that you weren't."

"So you laid him," Katara stated bluntly.

Suki looked away and nodded. "Yeah, we stole away and, well, it was quick, but it left me a big mess, both physically and emotionally. I… I didn't know if I would ever see him again, and I knew we were headed back to Kyoshi Island. I wanted that memory with him, especially after what he told me about losing someone special. She seemed to be an amazing girl I figured, and then here was Toph. What if he died, I thought, or if he was injured or something. I knew it was only a matter of time before he saw her as more than a kid?. I would have to live with the regret of never telling him, showing him, how I really felt. Toph was willing to put her feelings out there! I had to admit that she was pretty, in her own way. I just couldn't risk her getting him."

"What do you mean, in my own way?"

"Well, you have this unique look. Most of us put on makeup, but except for special occasions, you don't. Still, the guys go all nuts over you. Not many women can pull that off. Back in the day, I'd sleep with you."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Toph replied with a smirk. "Does getting propositioned by other women happen on every bride's wedding day? I thought a kiss was the only thing allowed."

"See, told you, Toph. You got it going on!" the waterbender exclaimed with a hoot.

"So why were you jealous of me, Sweetness? I know it wasn't for my stunning looks or full-size rump. From what I hear, you come fully equipped."

Katara grinned, pushing up her boobs. "Yeah, nature has been good to me. I may lag behind you a centimeter or two in the measurements department Toph, but I make up for it in quality."

"Keep telling yourself that… Water Jugs."

Suki snickered at the sly remark.

"I don't think you should be laughing, tiny tits," Katara blustered as she pointed towards Suki's chest.

"Only pig-cows need udders, plus mine aren't that small! They say more than a handful is a waste and mine aren't wasted. I won't ever have to worry about sagging and tripping over my own boobs, like you two!"

"Ladies, no need to get your panties in a bunch, We all know who's got em and who don't," Toph declared as she stuck out her ample chest. And until gravity has its way; I'm going to flaunt these girls!"

"Amen to that!" Katara agreed.

The Fire Lady frowned as she sighed deeply. "Sokka never complained about them," she stated under her breath.

"So are you going to spill what you meant by being jealous of me, Sugar Queen? Don't tell me you were jealous of Sokka and me too?"

"Of course I was Toph. You know my whole story now. Any time he mentioned you, I would remind him you were just a spoiled little rich kid."

"Harsh Sweetness… that was harsh."

"But that wasn't my only reason. Before you joined, I got all the guys attention, except for Haru, and then I figured out he was more interested in Aang and my brother than me. But the other guys would be super nice and tell me how pretty I was. That was until you joined us, Toph."

"That's not true Sugar Queen. I heard all the compliments! All the sweet things they would say about you. I listened when they were saying that you were the prettiest girl on earth. They never said one earth-damn good thing about me except that I was… scary."

The waterbender rolled her big blue eyes at the self-deprecation. "Okay Toph, if you heard them say so much about me, why don't you tell us what they said?"

Toph began to shuffle her feet on the marble tiled floor. "Do you really want to know what they said, Sweetness? I mean, even Sokka made a more than a few… well, embarrassing comments. I was surprised back then he would say something like that about his own sister."

"Don't worry about me Toph; I don't think I'll be too embarrassed, even coming from my dumb, horny brother."

The earthbender released a slow, long breath. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you, Sweetness."

"I'll take that under advisement, even if I do get shocked."

Toph started playing with her fingers as she recalled the many things she overheard years ago when they were still fighting Ozai. "Well, there was the time Sokka told me about how he didn't remember your mother all that well and saw you when he thought of her."

Katara also recalled that conversation that she had accidentally eavesdropped on. "Yeah, that's pretty embarrassing but sweet. Can you remember more?"

Toph nodded. "Well, once I heard Aang tell Zuko about how dark your nipples were. He kept going on about how amazing they looked. I guess they were peeking in on you when you took a bath."

"I hate to tell you Toph, Katara's nipples are just a little darker than her skin. You have this really light skin and almost jet black nipples girl," Suki explained. "If they were peeking at anybody… it was you. I'm surprised Aang would share that with him."

Toph felt a flush move through her entire body. "Uh, well, maybe, but then there was this time Sokka was… uh, you know, rubbing the rock… so to speak. Sorry Katara, but he kept moaning about some painted babe. I guessed when you got all dressed up as that spirit, it got him going."

"That was about me," Suki admitted. "He had a lot of nicknames for me… most of them having to do with me dressing up. Painted Babe, Mistress Fan, Green Bush of Happiness..."

"That's enough!" Katara noted. "I think we get the point."

"Okay, how about when Zuko told Aang that he wanted to burn through your thick, black forest, Katara."

"That's you again Toph!" Katara informed her. "You're the only one here with black hair, in both places. I'm practically bald in that region. It's a tribal thing. We are just not hairy people."

As more incidents came to mind, Toph felt her knees getting weak. "I think I n-need to sit down."

Suki guided her to the seat that Katara had before.

"You see Toph, well not literally see, but uh, understand that Aang and Zuko and I know sometimes my brother saw you as sexy. The only one who didn't see you that way, well, was you. I remember in Ba Sing Se those girls making fun of you, and we dumped them in the river. They really were jealous."

"Jealous and wet!" Toph laughed. "I was grateful you were there for me, Sugar Queen. We had fun."

"Listen, Toph; I want you to know that I knew what happened between you and Aang on Roku's Island. I saw the spark. Even if Aang was too slow to notice, I knew. I let my jealousy get the best of me when we had that mud fight. I made sure you stayed off of him, most of the time. Just like Suki, I wasn't going to risk you taking him. I wasn't willing to go as far as she did, but I wasn't opposed to making sure he got an eyeful."

Toph nodded with a smirk. "I think the only one who was clueless in our little tussle was my husband. I think Sokka suspected that we were targeting the same guy."

"He knew and he thought it was funny we were fighting over a skinny kid!" Katara huffed. "He said, let the best girl win!"

Toph resisted saying the obvious.

The waterbender massaged her tense brow until it relaxed. "The last straw for me was when we were flying to Ba Sing Se after the war to celebrate at Iroh's place; I watched you and Aang. You two were laughing, and you let him tickle you. You both must have thought I was asleep, even though you were making all that racket. Then we landed you go running off."

"I had to take a pee, Sweetness."

"And did you mean to let him see you taking one, Toph?"

"It's not like I meant him to, but it didn't bother me at the time that he did," she admitted. "I knew you were strutting your wares, Sweetness. I figured all was fair in love and war. Besides, it was night; how much could he have really seen?"

"There was a full moon Toph. I think he got a pretty good view of your moon too."

The new bride shook her head. "I didn't think about that. I was just trying to tease him, not treat him to a show."

Katara laughed. "I thought that was the case. If you were starting to tease him, then it wasn't going to be long before he would be noticing you more. So, I decided to go on the attack once we got to Ba Sing Se."

"So you set up that whole balcony deal?"

"Yep, I wasn't going to let you take away my promised future."

"Promised future?" Toph and Suki asked in stereo.

"Yeah, my promised future. There was this wonderful fortune teller, Auntie Wu, that everyone swore was so accurate that she could predict the entire coming year. She told me that I would marry this powerful bender and live happily-ever-after!"

"Did she really say, happily-ever-after?" Suki asked cynically.

"Not in so many words, but that is what she meant! She said I was going to have three kids and four grandchildren and die at an old age. Sounds perfect, right?"

"I think there are a lot of missing details Katara, like love. Besides, do you think that is still your future?" the former warrior inquired, staring into her wide optimistic eyes. It seems she told you some basic stuff but left out the love and happiness thing."

Katara shrugged. "I don't know now. It could have been all in my head like Sokka said. There was this one little annoying girl who, now that I think about it Toph, she reminded me a lot of you? I think she was trying to get Aang to like her. She didn't think I heard her, but sometimes she would call me a floozy."

"I like her already!" Toph declared with a giggle.

"Well, I didn't. When I saw Aang stop this volcano and lava flow, I thought for sure he was the guy Auntie Wu was talking about."

"Why didn't you snatch him up then? I know he probably wouldn't have minded it," Suki stated as she took a seat too.

"Ugh, I know! But I had all these mixed up feelings at the time. I didn't want to take the chance of him rejecting me, leaving me… you know. I lost my mom, and then dad leaves us… it was just too much. Sokka was saying that we make our own futures and there is no such thing as fate. I wanted to believe that too. Despite how I sometimes act, I count on my big brother a lot. He's the one who pointed out how awesome a bender Aang is. But I guess I couldn't stop destiny."

Suki looked puzzled. "What's the difference?"

"The difference is…. Aang sees Toph in a vision. He runs after her… and never stopped, even when I was in the way. I guess he's stopped running now."

"And you need to seek your own, destiny… future or whatever, Sweetness. That awesome bender may still be out there. You and I know, Aang is awesome with air, pretty good with water, so-so with fire and totally sucks at earth. If he didn't have that Avatar thing going, he'd be average at best. And don't get me started on that wishy-washy personality of his! Face it Sugar Queen, if you married him, there would be no happily-ever-after, and that's for sure."

Katara nodded. "I'll never know unless you take me up…"

"No!"

The waterbender smiled. "I mean, I was just thinking, you're a pretty awesome bender, Toph."

"And you're a few spokes short of a wheel, Sugar Queen. The answer is still no!"

"Can't blame a girl for trying."

"Yes I can," Toph countered. "Why don't you ask Suki? She might be more open."

"Ask me what?"

Katara shook her head, "Nothing Suki. I don't think that arrangement would work. We'd just make steam."

Suki was more bewildered than before. "What are you talking about Katara. Toph, she's not making any sense!"

"When does she ever?"