Hey you guys...

Thank you so much for the reviews!
For every single one of them.
Warms my heart, really.

So, I took some time off writing to reread Breaking The Habit. It's been a while since I wrote the last chapter of that beast of a story, so I figured a little refreshing of my memory couldn't hurt anyone.
Never had I thought that I got sucked back in the story as I did (despite the toe-curling English XD) and man, I just luh-ove the bond I created between Kiwi and Vinnie.
Really, I never give myself any credits for anything, but their love hit me straight in the heart, so I think I did a good job there.
Crazy, huh?
I mean, I wrote it myself.
I was there.
But like I said, it's been a while.
I kind of forgot how well they fit, hehe.

Aaaaaanyway.
On with the story.
I hope you guys like it, despite that it's all a bit sad and all.
Trust me, it will get better, one day.
That's all I'm gonna say for now.

Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.
Till next time, my loyal readers.
Thanks for your support and stay safe, y'all.

Later dudes!

Chapter 20

"Here it is", Modo said as he pointed at a house completely made out of the characteristic red stone that defined Mars.
Kiwi pulled off her helmet before she stepped off Throttle's bike, looking at the house with awe.
It was huge, even for Martian standards, but elegant at the same time.
Her gaze wandered over the porch, the balcony above it, the many windows, the big front door…
"It's beautiful", she whispered, deeply impressed by the majesty the house radiated.
It reminded her of the country house of her grandparents, where her mother grew up in peace, not knowing how cruel and abruptly her life was going to end, years later.

But now wasn't the time to think about that.
Perhaps there was never a good time to think about that.
Perhaps she needed to stop living in the past and be here, in the present.
As in; really here.
But wasn't that why she was standing here in the first place, staring at this house that reminded her of the past but contained a chance for the future?
Her future?
And to take it even a step further; their future?
Yes.
Yes, it was.
But one step at a time.
There was no need to get ahead of herself.

"It's great, huh?", Modo broke her out of her thoughts, standing next to her with folded arms.
"How on Mars is it possible that it's still standing?", Kiwi wondered out loud as she shifted her weight to her left leg, her hand resting on her hip.
"I guess we just got lucky, or something like that... ", the grey-furred giant shrugged, scratching the back of his head a bit sheepishly.
Kiwi glanced at him as she arched a brow.
"Luck? What the hell is luck?"
"Never heard of it", Throttle chuckled a bit darkly as he joined them with his hands in his pockets.
"Now you mention it, bro, me neither. Guess I lost it there for a moment", Modo snickered as he walked to the small fence that surrounded the property.

"Anyway, this is one of the houses we've found where the children can stay to fully unwind and when the time is there, we find them a suitable and loving home where they can spend the rest of their lives in peace and quietness", he explained as he opened the small stone gate and stepped on the path that led to the front door of the big house.
"But who's taking care of them while they're here?", Kiwi asked curiously as she followed Modo to the house, soon followed by Throttle.
After all, when they weren't on a search mission, Modo and Rose still lived on the Freedom Fighter base, aka 'Vault Brimstone'.
"The houses are run by volunteers only. People Rose and I came across on our search for children who need our help. Of course, we screen them before we leave them alone with the kids, but you'd be surprised by the number of people, good people, who are willing to leave their own home and family behind to move in, so they can be there for the children twenty-four seven. They need constant care, for most of them are severely traumatized…"

The sad tone in his voice didn't elude Kiwi and she laid a hand on his arm.
"You're their savior, you know that right?"
"Well, I ah… I'm doing the best I can, Kiwi ma'am", the grey-furred giant answered a bit evasive, staring at his feet.
"You're way too modest, big guy", Kiwi smiled, shaking her head and she patted him on the back.
"Without you, they would still be out there, lost and alone and no one would give a damn. But you do. So don't be so hard on yourself."
"The lady is right, big fella. You're doing good work here", Throttle agreed.
Modo had clearly no idea how to deal with all this attention, as usual, so Kiwi quickly pulled back her hand and pointed at the house again.
"So, how many children are there?"
"Usually around ten to fifteen, but right now, only three. But Rose and I will head out in about a week, so it will be a full house again soon", Modo answered, clearly relieved that the attention was drawn away from him.

They had now reached the house but when Modo stepped on the porch and reached for the door knocker, one of the double stone doors already opened.
A blond-furred female Martian Mouse appeared in the doorway, giving Modo a stern look through the glasses that rested on the tip her nose and magnified her green eyes.
If Kiwi had to guess, she was in her 60s, perhaps even 70s, making her the oldest Martian Mouse she had ever met.
The grey hair in the blond, almost yellow fur confirmed that theory, but despite her age, this was no mouse one wanted to mess with, judging by the way she looked at Modo.

But her face soon softened and a warm smile replaced the stern look, making her look about ten years younger in only the blink of an eye.
"Ah, Modo, it's so good to see you", she greeted the grey-furred mouse warmly as she took off her glasses and let it dangle on the bead necklace that was around her neck.
Then, she did a few steps forward while wiping her hands on the apron she wore over her spotless yet casual outfit before she took Modo in her arms, the fact that he was about twice her size didn't seem to bother her.
Still, even though the greeting warmed her up from the inside, it was a ridiculous sight at the same time and Kiwi quickly turned her gaze the other way to stop herself from bursting into laughter.

She glanced at Throttle out of the corner of her eye, to see him looking up at the sky as he twiddled his thumbs, clearly feeling the same as her.
One corner of her mouth curled up, but she managed to keep herself in check.
"It's good to see you too, Abigail ma'am. How are you holding up?", Modo broke the awkward silence and the older female let him go.
"Oh, I'm holding up just fine, young man. Now tell me, who are your friends?", Abigail asked as she looked at Throttle and Kiwi with curiosity written upon her face.
Kiwi cleared her throat as she did a step forward with an outstretched hand.
"My name is Kiwi, ma'am. Nice to meet you."

Abigail quickly put her glasses back on before she took the human girl's hand in a surprisingly firm grip.
"No, the pleasure is all mine, Kiwi. I never met a human before", and she studied Kiwi with an intensity that made the latter feel a bit uncomfortable.
But she said nothing and let the older Martian do her thing, for she knew how mind-blowing it was to see alien life standing right in front of you.
"Oh my, your skin is so soft and smooth… and how on Mars are you able to hear with these tiny little ears?", Abigail called out, clearly deeply impressed and she firmly but gently took Kiwi by the arm to turn her around.
"And no tail! Most interesting…"
Kiwi looked at Modo, who only shrugged with an apologetic look on his face.

But luckily, the Martian female let her go and focussed her attention on Throttle now, who looked back a bit reserved, as if he was scared for what was to come.
And, as it turned out, with good reason.
"Great moons of Mars, you look like you haven't had a good meal in days, boy. What's your name?"
"Throttle, ma'am."
"Well, Throttle Ma'am, let's get you inside before you collapse from hunger", and she grabbed the tan-furred mouse by the hand.
"You're lucky I just made pot-roast, the best you have ever eaten, I can assure you. Good heavens, look how skinny you are! Don't they feed you up there? And they say that the Freedom Fighters take good care of their people", the blond-furred female babbled as she dragged Throttle with her.
The latter gave Modo a helpless, almost cramped look and Kiwi now had to bite her lower lip to stop the hysterical laughter that bubbled up out of nowhere.

It had been so long since she had a good laugh, and she wasn't sure why this urge was there all of a sudden.
But whatever the reason was, it was there and it felt somehow liberating.
To be, if only for a small moment, released from her burden.
And let's face it, the look on Throttle's face was absolutely priceless.
Kind of like a lamb being led to the slaughter.
Poor guy.

The woman did have a point though.
Throttle had lost a lot of weight during the past year and he, indeed, looked like he could use a good meal.
But she, and Modo with her, knew it needed a whole lot more than just a good meal to get the tan-furred mouse back to his old weight.
To his old self.
Modo must have thought the same thing at the exact same time, because he quickly blocked Abigail's path and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"As much as we appreciate the offer, we ain't here for the food. Ma'am", he quickly added when she gave him the same stern look as when she had opened that door, but this time with narrowed eyes and Modo coughed a bit uncomfortable before giving the woman a small smile.

Kiwi shook her head in both disbelief and amusement.
Really, who would've thought that it only took one older woman to take the famous Biker Mice From Mars by the balls, huh?
Respect really was everything.
After a short moment of silence, the blond-furred mouse let go of Throttle and adjusted her glasses.
"Oh, why didn't you say so? To what do I owe this little visit then?"
As soon as she let go of him, Throttle quickly did a few steps back, rubbing his sore hand and glancing at Abigail suspiciously.
Kiwi giggled, she just couldn't help it.
But to see the tough and usual unflappable leader this uncomfortable was simply too much.
He was clearly way out of his comfort zone here.
She quickly put a hand over her mouth and looked at Modo with her blue eyes wide open, her way of telling him that she was sorry for being this disrespectful.
Modo only winked at her before he looked back at Abigail again.
"We're here for Zevvi."

That was enough for Kiwi to snap back to reality and she looked at Abigail, crossing her fingers that the woman wouldn't ask who Zevvi was.
But perhaps luck really was on their side this time, because Abigail nodded, recognition clearly visible in her green eyes and without realizing it, Kiwi let out her breath.
She was here.
But, next to recognition, a shadow flickered across Abigail's face.
It was hardly visible, but it was there and Kiwi wondered why that was.
But before she could ask, Abigail already turned around and walked to the door.
"Sure. Follow me, I'll take you to her."
Kiwi shared a look with Throttle, who nodded to tell her that he'd seen it too and a heavy feeling washed over the human girl.
Could there be something wrong with Zevvi?
Well, only one way to find out.
And both Throttle and Kiwi quickly followed Modo and Abigail inside, the first closing the door behind him once they were all inside.

The house was even more beautiful from the inside.
Given the fact it was completely made out of stone, it kind of felt as if they were standing in a cave.
Or an ancient castle.
Again, it reminded Kiwi of Hogwarts.
Martians sure knew how to make things all cozy and warm, which was such a contrast with them being badass soldiers at the same time.
There was a fire burning in the fireplace on their right, a large pan hanging above it, probably the great stew that Abigail had mentioned moments ago.
Well, it sure smelled great.
But before Kiwi had the chance to take a closer look at the interior of the house, Abigail was already halfway the stairs and Throttle gave the human girl a soft push to tell her to keep going.

As they walked up the stairs, Kiwi's heartbeat increased with every step she took.
Even her hands were sweaty.
She was nervous.
Beyond nervous.
About a thousand questions went through her mind.
What if they were wrong?
What if Rose was wrong?
What if it wasn't her?
And what if it was?
What if it was her but it wouldn't have the snowball effect she so desperately hoped for?
What if her future would still be empty and lonely like it was before Throttle had given her this file?
So many questions.
So few answers.

Before she even realized it, they were already on the landing of the first floor and without thinking, Kiwi looked at the room on her left.
What she saw warmed her up from inside and she stopped for a moment to take a closer look.
Two Martian children were playing with blocks, clearly having a good time.
They couldn't be much older than 10 and when the tower they were building collapsed, they both burst out into laughter.
The sound caressed Kiwi's heart and she closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy this sound of pure innocence.
It reminded her of Mika, how his laughter was supposed to cheer her up but didn't because she was so lost after losing Vinnie.
But now she felt it.
Hope.
It was crazy what hope did to a person.

But then, the laughter stopped quite abruptly and she opened her eyes again, seeing the two children staring back at her, their eyes wide open.
Their empty eyes.
It gave her goosebumps.
Well, perhaps not that empty.
There was a glimpse of something else.
They were scared, Kiwi realized and she quickly gave them a soothing smile, to tell them she wasn't here to harm them, but they both still didn't move.
One of them was even trembling, she could tell and it broke her already broken heart.
These poor little things.
Damaged by the war before their life even had the chance to begin.

Abigail suddenly popped up next to her.
"It's okay, my dear children. These people are here to visit Zevvi, not to harm you. Now, go on and play. Everything is alright", she said soothingly before she closed the door with a soft click.
"I'm sorry you had to see that, my dear. But these children aren't normal children", and the older Martian put an arm over Kiwi's shoulders, clearly feeling her distress.
"They're damaged. Traumatized. Most of them have seen horrific things. Things that would even give the toughest soldiers PTSD."
The human girl glanced at the door one last time before she looked back at Abigail, touched by her warmth and love.
"Why isn't Zevvi playing with them?", she asked a bit hesitant as she let herself be carried away by the woman who reminded her of her grandma.
Her loving grandma.

"Because she pretty much just keeps to herself. She's… she's not like the others", Abigail answered as she guided Kiwi up the second stairs.
The slight tremble in her voice didn't elude the clever and sensitive human, in fact, it confused her.
"What do you mean, not like the others?"
Abigail heaved a sigh as they came to a halt in front of a closed door.
"You'll see…", and she knocked softly on the door.
Kiwi looked at Modo and Throttle with worry, perhaps even fear, but they both gave her an encouraging smile and she swallowed with difficulty as she turned back to the door.
That was still closed.
In fact, there was no form of response whatsoever.
"Zevvi? It's me, sweetie. Abigail. I've brought some people who would love to meet you", the older mouse spoke to the closed door, her voice warm and soft.
But silence was all that followed and she now turned to face the three visitors, a sad glance in her green eyes.
"Perhaps it's better if you come back another time…"

Kiwi's heart just dropped and she already shook her head as despair was about to take over.
Again.
"No, I need to see her. As in; now…", she breathed, tears already burning behind her eyes.
Again.
God, she was so sick and tired of this.
Of being this unstable.
When Abigail opened her mouth, Kiwi already saw that she was going to say no and there it was.
The panic.
The despair.
That agonizing pain.
It washed over her as soon as she saw her one and only chance for a better future going up in smoke.
Without thinking, she grabbed the blond-furred mouse by the arms.
"Please, let me see her. I can't… I don't… I just need to see her. Please…", she begged desperately, ashamed of her strong reaction at the same time.
But it wasn't like she was in control of her emotions, because she wasn't.
Not since he had left her.
Alone.
Abandoned.
Broken.

"Kiwi, Zevvi ain't going anywhere. We can come back tomorrow to give it another shot", Modo started, but Kiwi violently shook her head as she kept looking at Abigail, almost burning a hole in the woman's skull with her intense blue eyes.
"No. I need to see her now. Not tomorrow. Not the day after tomorrow. No. Today. Now. Please… You have no idea how much depends on this…"
Her voice broke and forced her to stop talking when she suddenly felt a warm hand on her shoulder from which she knew it was Throttle's.
"Kiwi, calm down. I know how important this is to you, it is to all of us, but we're dealing with a traumatized kid here. We can't just barge in like this. She's been through too much."
He was right.
Of course, he was.
Goddammit.

Therefore, Kiwi let go of Abigail, trying very hard to get her emotions back under control.
"I'm sorry, I just… I meant no disrespect…", she mumbled as she adjusted her clothes, avoiding Abigail's look.
But then, she felt two furry fingers gently grabbing her chin, forcing her to look up, straight into Abigail's loving eyes.
"Five minutes. You have five minutes."
Kiwi's stomach made about ten backflips by hearing these words.
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't wanna make things worse…"
"Five minutes. And remember, whatever you do, don't come too close and most certainly don't touch her. Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Abigail nodded and let her go.
She opened the door and stepped aside to let Kiwi through.
"Thank you", the latter whispered before she took a deep breath and stepped into the room.
She wasn't sure what exactly had made the older Martian change her mind, but she was grateful that she did.
Forever grateful.

When the door softly closed behind her, Kiwi rubbed her arms a bit insecure as she looked around her.
But her eyes needed some time to get used to the dimly lit environment and so, she just stood there, her heart pounding in her chest.
After a little while, she was able to differentiate the multiple pieces of furniture in the room and her gaze wandered over the closet in the corner, the two big windows across the room that were hidden behind heavy curtains that stopped the sunlight from entering.
Movement on her right caught her attention and she slowly turned her head as she held in her breath.
And there she was.
Zevvi.

She was hiding behind the bed, but her head now popped up from behind it, her ears flat to the side of her head.
As soon as Kiwi laid eyes on her, her heart just stopped and she put a hand over her mouth to stop the gasp that almost made its way out of her mouth.
Despite the poorly lit room, she was perfectly able to see the ruby-red eyes staring back at her and holy shit, the resemblance was striking.
Beyond that.
It was as if he was looking back at her and her legs just gave out.
With her hand still over her mouth, she slid down against the door as silent tears streamed down her face, her eyes fixated on the young mouse, who hadn't even moved.
The shape of her face.
The snow-white fur.
Those piercing eyes...

God.
It was her.
Mireya's daughter.
They were twins, after all.
Identical twins.
It shouldn't be that big of a surprise that this girl looked so much alike Vinnie.
So much, that it took her breath away.
It felt as if he was here.
Looking at her.

Fucking hell.
She missed him so much.
She just wanted him to hold her.
But he didn't.
Because he was gone.
He had left her.
All alone…

Sorrow washed over her again and she buried her head in her hands, her body shuddering from crying.
She didn't want to scare this girl, this little girl, who was clearly terrified of her.
This girl, that was Vinnie's cousin.
His blood.
His only living relative.
Being in one room with her made her feel closer to him than she had felt this entire year and it simply overwhelmed her.
She just couldn't stop crying, her heart yearning for his arms around her.
If only he was here…

"Why are you crying?"
Kiwi froze when she heard the small voice, a voice as fragile as glass and she slowly looked up.
Zevvi was still sitting behind the bed, but now leaning on the edge with her arms, her chin resting on her folded hands as she looked at Kiwi with those big eyes that were so familiar.
Despite her fear, she seemed to be a bit worried and that was just enough to give Kiwi the strength to get herself back under control.
She didn't mean a child, a traumatized child, to worry about her.
That's like putting the world upside down.
And so, she wiped off her face as she sat a bit more upright, giving herself a firm mental shake.
"Because you look like someone I know", she answered the question honestly with a voice thick of emotion.
Even though this was only a child, that didn't necessarily mean she had to be lied to.

Zevvi tilted her head a bit, her ears now upright and twitching and Kiwi closed her eyes for a moment to stop herself from breaking down again.
Jesus.
This was crazy.
"But… then why are you crying? Was this person not nice to you?", Zevvi asked a bit confused and Kiwi smiled, she couldn't help it.
"He was very nice to me. In fact, he's the kindest person I ever met. But he needed to be somewhere else."
"So… you miss him? Is that why you're crying?", the white-furred child concluded after a long silence and Kiwi nodded as she swallowed away her tears.
"Yes."

For a moment, Zevvi studied her with a seriousness that just wasn't healthy for a child of her age.
But then, she slowly climbed on the bed, keeping a close eye on the human girl who still sat on the floor, leaning against the door.
Kiwi held in her breath and did everything within her power not to move, for she didn't want to scare this child even more than she already did.
But Zevvi didn't stop.
Slowly, she climbed off the bed and walked over to Kiwi, approaching her with caution but also with a certain determination.
When she reached the human, she kneeled next to her and, much to Kiwi's surprise, climbed on her lap.
"I'm sorry you miss him", Zevvi told her as she wrapped her little arms around Kiwi's waist and pressed herself against her.

After a short hesitation and with Abigail's warning still fresh in her memory, Kiwi slowly wrapped her arms around the white-furred child, who was shaking like leaf but was, despite her fear, here to comfort her.
"Me too…", she whispered as she carefully buried her nose in Zevvi's long hair.
Her white hair, with black strands, just like her mother.
Jesus, she even smelled like him.
This was beyond crazy.
"I miss my mommy. But Abigail told me that she's in heaven now. That she's helping Eguzkia with taking care of all the children on Mars. And that she's with me, right here…", and Zevvi pointed at a place close to her heart.
"But I still miss her."

Kiwi's already broken heart just broke a little more, as far as that goes, while listening to Zevvi's fragile voice.
And she suddenly felt this strong desire to take all her pain away, even though she knew that was impossible.
"Sounds like your mother has a very important job. You can be proud of her", she sniffed as a tear rolled down her cheek.
"I am."
Zevvi then looked up, her ruby-red eyes burning with curiosity and sympathy.
"Is that person who makes you cry also in heaven? To help other children?"
Kiwi smiled as she smoothened the wild brunch of hair a bit.
"Something like that. He's not in heaven, but he is helping others."
Zevvi nodded seriously and reached out one hand.
"I'm sure my mommy is helping him too", she said as she wiped away a tear from Kiwi's face with her thumb, but as a result of these words, more soon followed.

Sweet Mothers and all other holy persons of Mars…
Abigail was right.
There was absolutely nothing normal about this kid.
She didn't even seem to care that she was a human.
An alien.
She was clearly able to see right through all that, which was a bit worrying for a child of her age but it made her special at the same time.
Zevvi...

She was special, just like her uncle.
And even though she never had the pleasure to meet Mireya, she knew she had been special too.
How could she not be?
She was a van Wham.
And the van Wham's had special genes.
That fact was proven many times already.
And it was proven again today.

Seconds ticked by as they just sat there, holding each other tightly.
But as always, the time didn't stop.
It didn't slow down.
It just went by, steady as ever.
Seconds became minutes and soon, way too soon in Kiwi's opinion, someone knocked on the door.
"Time's up, sweetie", Abigail's muted voice sounded through the door and Kiwi slowly opened her eyes when she felt Zevvi tense in her arms.
Five minutes.
It felt like five seconds.

Strangely enough, time had the ability to mess with one's head.
Time was such an incomprehensible thing.

If only she could let it stop.
To stay in this moment forever.
Or turn it back.
To stop her macho mouse from leaving.
But she couldn't.
And she didn't want to get on Abigail's bad side, for she had a strong feeling that she was going to see her again.
Still, letting Zevvi go felt like an almost impossible task.

It got even worse when the white-furred child clung to her, already trembling again.
"Please, don't go…", she whispered and Kiwi needed all her self control to not burst into tears again.
She gently untangled herself and carefully took Zevvi's head in her hands.
"I have to, otherwise I betray Abigail's trust and she doesn't deserve that, now does she?", she asked as she tucked a strand of hair behind Zevvi's big ear with a soothing smile.
"No. She's nice. So we need to be nice to her as well."
"Exactly. But I promise you, little girl, that I'll come back for you. If that's okay with you, of course", Kiwi added hastily, suddenly feeling very insecure.
But Zevvi nodded violently, her ears flapping and the human girl smiled relieved.
"That's a deal then."

After pressing a soft kiss on the black and white hair of this child that already had captured her heart, she scrambled back on her feet.
"I see you soon, okay?"
"You promise?", Zevvi asked quietly, looking up at her with those ruby-red eyes which were so familiar and yet so heartbreaking.
Perhaps they were heartbreaking because they were so familiar.
A trauma...
Again, Kiwi swallowed away her tears as she reached out her hand.
"Pinky swear."
After a small hesitation, Zevvi took Kiwi's pink with hers.
"Pinky swear", she repeated, still with that serious look on her face.
Kiwi gave her one last smile and then quickly stumbled out of the room, already overwhelmed by tears again.
Tears she didn't want Zevvi to see but were now impossible to stop.
Impossible to ignore.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she threw herself in Throttle's arms and she let her tears run freely.
"It's her, Throttle... Oh my god, it's really her…", she sobbed, her hands on his back, holding the leather jacket in a firm grip.
The tan-furred mouse said nothing, he just held her as he stroked her back.
And Kiwi cried.

She cried for Zevvi.
For all the things the poor thing had been through.
All the bad things that had made her the scared and fragile little girl she was nowadays.
For being alone.

She cried for Vinnie.
For all the things he had been through.
All the bad things that had made him the troubled mouse he was nowadays.
For being alone.

She cried for herself.
For all the things she had been through.
For all the bad things that eventually had taken away her soulmate.
For being alone.

She cried for Mireya, who wasn't able to see her daughter grow up.
For Throttle.
For Modo.
For Stoker.
For everyone she knew, dead or alive.

But strangely enough and for the first time since forever, it weren't only tears of sadness.
There was hope, too.
Hope for a better future.
Hope for recovery.
To heal these wounds that ran so deep.
This little girl could be the key to everything.
And maybe, just maybe, she could be the key to this little girl's happiness.

Slowly, she calmed down a bit, knowing exactly what the next step was.
And that was going back to the base and do something she had wanted to do from the day he left.
Something he had strictly forbidden her right before he drove away.
After giving her that stupid and empty promise.
She had listened to him.
To respect his wishes.
Until now.
Everything was different now.
Everything.
And so, she looked up at Throttle with swollen eyes, still sniffing but with a certain determination written upon her face.
"We need to call him, Throttle. He needs to know."

…

"Carbine, we need to talk to Vinnie", Kiwi immediately cut to the chase as she burst into Carbine's room, soon followed by Throttle and Modo.
The light-grey-furred female looked up from her book a bit surprised.
"What? Why?"
"Because I need to tell him something", Kiwi answered when she stopped in front of the big table in the middle of the room.
The very one which Carbine was sitting at right now.
"Why now? He's gone for over more than a year and you never asked this before. So why now?", Carbine asked in return, her eyes a bit narrowed, clearly confused by this sudden request.
Kiwi placed her hands on the table and leaned forward, her blue eyes burning with something Carbine hadn't seen for a very long time.
Determination.
"I just need to talk to him. I figured you know how to reach him, right? Since it's your team that he's in..."

Carbine slowly closed her book and put it on the table before she cleared her throat, her eyes still fixated on the human girl.
"Listen, Kiwi, I know how much you miss him, just as much as you know that I couldn't care less about what he wants. But the fact remains that he's working in a team now, my team, to be exact, and he can't afford it to be distracted. You calling him will distract him, obviously, and will put lives at risk. In addition to this, he told me that, and I'm sorry to say this out loud, I really am, he doesn't wanna talk to you."
Her words hurt.
They really did.
But instead of backing down, Kiwi leaned further forward.
"But you do know how to reach him, right?"

Carbine sighed and leaned back in her chair with folded arms.
"Of course I do, who do you think I am? The war might be over, but I haven't lost my touch as a General. Unfortunately for you, that means I'm not gonna let you rile up one of my soldiers who need to be focussed on the job and the job only. And we all know how easily distracted he is. It's a risk I'm not willing to take."
Kiwi's determination was starting to crack and Throttle decided to intervene before the human girl would lose her patience.
He laid a hand on Kiwi's shoulder as he looked at Carbine.
"Just make the call, Carbine. We wouldn't be here and asking this from you if it wasn't important."

Perhaps if this had happened when the war was still raging, the former General would've remained adamant.
Silent and obstinate, for the war had been her life, back then.
But things were changed.
Of course, she was still devoted.
It would be cold-hearted not to be.
It was her job to prevent as much suffering as possible in the wake of the war.
There were still mice out there, risking their lives to clean up the mess the Plutarkians had left behind.
And they were doing that under her command.
But after living in somewhat peace for over more than a year, she'd relearned to value the most important things.
Family.
And not war.
Certainly not war.

And so, she raised her hands in defeat as she blew a strand of hair out of her face.
"Okay, fine. If you insist", and she stood up.
She grabbed the radio and put it on the table with a loud bang, but Kiwi knew she wasn't really angry.
Peace had taken away Carbine's anger and the result was refreshing.
Gone was the bitterness.
The resentment.
The everlasting agony.
Even though she had been beyond heartbroken by the death of Stoker, she had managed to get back on her feet again.
And despite the difficult relationship she had with Carbine, Kiwi admired her for that.
For being so strong.
So resilient.
Maybe she would be able to climb back on her feet as well.
One day.
And maybe, just maybe, that day would be sooner than expected.
Staring at the radio on the table, she could only hope it would be.

Her heartbeat already increased again and she was surprised she didn't have a heart attack already.
This whole thing asked a lot of her body and she wasn't sure how long she was able to keep this up.
She looked at Throttle, a bit pleading, suddenly doubting if she was ready for this.
But the tan-furred mouse carefully pushed her down on a chair and after taking place beside her, he grabbed her hand in a tight and comforting grip.
Modo sat down on her other side and wrapped his tail around her ankle, just like… he used to do whenever she was restless.
But even though it wasn't him who was comforting her, it still felt good.
She felt loved.
Supported.
But so scared at the same time.

What if he refused to talk to them?
To talk to… her?
She had no idea what would happen if that turned out to be true.
After all, the seed had been planted again.
It's what kept her going.
It couldn't be crushed again.
It just couldn't.
But right now, there was nothing she could do.
For now, it was up to Carbine.
She just had to wait and see.
And so she did, holding Throttle's hand in a tight grip.

Carbine dropped down on the same chair as she was sitting on when they came inside and grabbed the microphone of the radio.
After glancing at Kiwi one last time, she pushed the small button.
"Denver, come in."
It didn't take long before a heavy but clear male voice responded.

"Denver here. To what do I owe this pleasure, General? Our briefing was only yesterday. Started to miss me already?"

Kiwi blinked a few times by hearing the slightly teasing tone and kept a close eye on Carbine to see how she was going to react, but much to her surprise, the light-grey-furred female only smiled at this comment and she almost fell out of her chair.
She really was changed.
The old Carbine would've chewed him up before spitting him back out again.
She probably would've crushed him, too, like a bug that just got stepped on.
But not the new Carbine.
The relaxed Carbine.
Kiwi glanced at Throttle, who was watching his girl with pride and bliss.
Peace was peaceful.
Peace was strange.
Beautiful.
It healed.
Some of them, that is.

"Don't flatter yourself too much, Denver. I'm not calling for you and it isn't a social call either. Is Vinnie around?"
Hearing Carbine say his name snapped Kiwi out of her thoughts and sweat already started to form on her forehead as she tightened her grip around Throttle's hand.
This was beyond nerve-wracking and she stared at the radio with a pounding heart, crossing her fingers that he would be there.
He had to be there.

"Now that's a serious blow to my ego. But I think he's outside. You want me to go get him?"

"Yes, please. He might need a little… encouragement though", Carbine added as she glanced at Kiwi again, who sat on the edge of her seat, staring at the radio with those big blue eyes of her.
Eyes full of hope and insecurity.
That white-furred snowball would better come to the radio and talk, otherwise, she was going to get her bike and drive the whole there to kill him personally.

"Oh, I can be very persuasive when I need to be. Just give me a moment. Stand-by."

Only listening to this voice, that belonged to someone who was only a few feet away from… him was enough to give Kiwi goosebumps all over her body.
It was crazy, she knew, and yet, it was just how it was.
He was there.
He was really there.
God, Vinnie…
Was she finally about to hear his voice again?