Scott collapsed onto his bed. It had been one of the longest days he could remember. Technically it was now the next morning, and Scott had spent the day running around, fighting, and half aroused-damn Reyes-the entire time. He should be exhausted, but sleep seemed a long ways off. His thoughts kept drifting and filling with a certain, sexy accent; kept seeing beautiful, piercing golden eyes. He'd just left the smuggler but a large part of him wanted to go back to that seedy little lounge and spend the night exploring the secretive man.

"Does this mean you and Mr. Vidal have established a romantic relationship, pathfinder" SAM said quite suddenly.

Scott closed his eyes and smiled. "No, SAM."

"That is what he appears to want," SAM persisted. "And you do not seem to be against the idea."

Scott sighed. "It's not as easy as simply deciding what we want."

"Why is that?"

Scott frowned. He didn't know exactly how to answer. He wished SAM would let it go, but past inquiries from the AI taught him that the subject never truly dropped until Scott could answer to some satisfaction.

"In a perfect world I suppose what we wanted would be all that mattered," Scott said, slowly. "But Reyes has made a life for himself here on Kadara and I suspect my life will not allow me to settle in a single place for long. Knowing what you do of the family dynamic, SAM, what does that tell you?"

"My experience is limited to Alec's experiences before yours, pathfinder. However, I observed that distance and separation among a family that loves each other matters little. It is the time spent together that is of true importance."

"Damn," Scott muttered under his breath. "You're right, of course. But that's...not the only concern." There was silence, indicating SAM was waiting for him to continue. He didn't know quite how to put it into words. How do you explain the complexities of a broken heart to a being that has never felt love for itself. Perhaps it would be better to show him.

"Do-" Scott swallowed, "you have access to my memories, right SAM?"

"Yes, pathfinder."

"To my memories before we integrated-before I went into cryo sleep in the Milky Way?"

A pause.

"I have never had need to access memories before Alec transferred me to you, pathfinder."

Scott braced himself, cleared his throat before speaking carefully. "I give you permission to access my memory of the night before my scheduled cryo sleep, twenty-first day of Earth month September, 2185."

Nothing could have prepared him for the pain that followed. The events of that night played through his head like a movie as SAM unburied them. Everything down to the last detail, every sight, every sound, every scent was as fresh and raw, and beautiful and terrible as he remembered. He was back in his temporary room assigned to him by the Initiative as he awaited his turn to go into cryo when his lover came to him.

Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you trust me? Scott had begged. Nothing hurt more than knowing he'd been lied to. It didn't matter the reasons, even though deep in his heart he understood. His lover knew this, had reached for him, and though Scott wanted to punish him, yell at him, punch him, he went into that embrace like a drowning man, clutching to the one he loved, soaking in his scent, memorizing his touch and the way he felt.

Why can't you just come with us?

He couldn't, and Scott understood his reasons, but he hated it. He was angry, but he had no one to focus his anger on-no outlet for this hurt, this terrible shattering of his heart and life and everything in it.

Later, Scott wept in his lover's embrace as they moved, and breathed, and rocked together. He made Scott promise him to go to Andromeda and be safe, and happy, and live. He lovingly slid the black ring on Scott's finger with a kiss that relayed every aching emotion they shared in that moment. And when they came together Scott never remembered feeling his heart so full and so achingly hollow at the same time. Even when his mother died, he'd never felt so hopelessly alone and broken.

His lover had stayed inside him, and Scott wouldn't let him go anyway even for a moment. He couldn't let go of that comforting warmth, that deepest physical connection because everything else was falling apart around him. Eventually, Scott slept, and when he woke he was alone.

Sara had found him soon after, somehow she knew. She stayed with him while he cried out his pain-stood guard so their father wouldn't see, wouldn't find out. It was long hours before Scott could hold himself together in order to report for his appointment to go to sleep for centuries. The only solace was he would not have to dream in that time.

Scott gasped painfully, tears streamed down his face. He was back on the Tempest again, back in his room. He admittedly had no idea what he was subjecting himself to when he granted SAM permission to access that memory, but he didn't know he would have to relive it in such detail...feel it all, again...and it wasn't going away. He glanced around the room. It was his room on the Tempest, certainly, he could see it, but he could still see and feel that night, as if he were living both at the same time.

"Fuck," he groaned as if in physical pain. He put his hands over his face and tried to breathe as the memory started over like a nightmarish rerun.

Scott lay there a long time attempting to force the ghost of his lover out of his head. But such a feat was impossible when he could taste the man on his tongue, and feel those strong, caring hands caressing, loving every inch of his body. He could still feel his lover pushing into him over and over, and see the depths of that love and pain in those gray-blue eyes that had only ever held warmth and kindness and adoration for Scott. Try as he might to think of anything else, he couldn't. The memory had opened wounds that had never healed, but somehow he'd managed to push them deep down so that he could function because duty had called the moment he was woken from cryo. Now, it was swallowing him whole.

"SAM," he gasped. He clutched the pillow to his face to muffle the wracking sobs. "Please, make it stop. I can't-" he cried out into the pillowy softness as his ghost of a lover pushed into him again. His lover's beautiful mouth was on his throat, his chest, the heat and weight of his body was on top of him, between his legs and inside him. Scott was trapped, and he didn't understand how, except that something must have gone wrong. He knew that SAM had helped his father recall important details in his memory from time to time, but he knew for certain it had never been like this. It couldn't have been. Not to this extent.

Scott groaned low into the pillow through the arousal that wasn't his-it was his, but it was six hundred years old and did not belong here and now. "SAM." It was no more than a whimper, a pathetic sound on his lips. But finally, the memory faded and the physical impressions with it-not instantly like a switch being flipped, but quickly enough like a giant thing being hastily forced and stuffed behind a closed door, leaving Scott gasping and his heart hammering.

"Forgive me, Scott. I did not mean to cause you such pain," SAM said quietly.

"What the fuck happened?" Scott hissed between clenched teeth.

"I was not adequately prepared for the strength of the memory. When I pulled the memory to the surface for my viewing I did not understand the effect it would have on you, Scott. Nor did I intend to entrap you there with me while I experienced the memory. I know now for next time and it will not happen again."

"Shit," Scott whispered, rubbing his eyes with a shaking hand. He tried to laugh, to make light of what he'd just experienced but it was a bitter, terrible sound. In truth, he was shaken to his very soul.

It took some time before he even remembered why he'd asked SAM to access the memory in the first place. "I guess now you understand my reservations about Reyes," he said at last. "Human hearts can love so fiercely, so completely...sometimes there's only room enough for one person in there."

There was silence for what felt like ages to Scott in the aftermath of what he'd just experienced. He wondered if SAM was truly just contemplating or if the AI was experiencing some things himself. Like guilt, perhaps. Scott couldn't help but feel like SAM deserved to feel badly about what he'd done-intentionally or not.

"I have felt the loss of a loved one once before," SAM finally said. "Through Alec I experienced Ellen's death. I understood through him that loving another would not be the same." A pause. "And now I understand that love does not have to be separated by death to be just as painful." Another pause. "I am truly sorry, Scott, for my ignorance. My purpose always is to help you. I feel tonight I have failed."

"Please, SAM, it's all right," Scott said, even as he wiped a tear away-they just wouldn't stop coming. "Just please don't let that happen again." No one should ever have to go through that once, let alone two and three times.

"You have my word, Scott."

The next morning Scott went straight to the showers. Liam and Gil were both in front of the mirror shaving, talking quietly. Neither of them had any snide or playful comments about Reyes, for which Scott was grateful. He didn't believe they had heard anything from Scott's hellish night, but he knew they could see the rough, sleepless hours in his eyes when he walked into the bathroom. They certainly knew something was wrong when Scott let his clothes fall on the floor as he walked before stepping naked into the small partitioned room where the showerheads protruded from the walls. Normally, their pathfinder took great care in folding his clothes and stacking them neatly on the countertop. It was a habit they had teased him about since the clothes were going to be tossed into the wash afterward anyway.

Scott just stood under the spray for a long time. He planned to reset the monoliths today, and just thinking about the desert heat caused him to turn the cold water way up. He heard the door to the crew's quarters open and close, thought he was alone until someone cleared their throat behind him. He didn't need to turn to know it was Gil. But he looked over his shoulder just in time to see the engineer's eyes dart away from Scott's nudity. Gil had been one of the people to express interest with harmless looks and flirting but they both realized pretty quickly getting involved might not be a good idea. They'd mutually agreed that friendship was the best way to go. That's not to say that Scott hadn't thought about it. Gil was a handsome man with a tenor English accent that sometimes made Scott feel pleasant things. He thought of Reyes' voice. Maybe he had something for accents.

"Ryder," Gil said, hesitantly. Scott could see the concern in the other's frown. "Are you all right?"

Scott turned back to the wall. Took a deep, steadying breath.

"I'm not an expert or anything," Gil continued softly. "I don't know much about your life before you came here. But I do know you've been struggling with something beyond just pathfinder stuff." Gil paused. "An' I know we gave you shit yesterday about that Reyes guy, but if he's it..."

Scott smiled. He knew talking about feelings was not Gil's forte, but he certainly appreciated the effort.

He looked back over his shoulder. "Thanks, Gil. Really."

Gil nodded, looked at his feet before recovering that snarky grin.

"The man better know how lucky he is because," he looked at Scott, backing away to the door, "damn, Ryder."

"Yeah, all right," Scott chuckled, turning back to the spray.

"Fine piece of ass," Gil hollered over his shoulder, walking out the door.

"Trying to take a shower here," Scott called after him.

It wasn't much, but it felt good to know someone cared, even if that someone had to cover up their concern with smartass comments. No pun intended.

Scott stepped off the Tempest intending to start solving Kadara's water problem. However, there was a commotion in the market that drew his attention. The last thing he expected was to walk into a murder scene. There, practically in the exact spot he'd stopped a man being beaten to death, was an angaran male, gutted, lying face down.

Scott cringed slightly at the sight of the gore. Someone had really had it in for the poor guy.

"Ew," Peebee said quietly at his side.

There was an Outcast guard standing over the scene directing people back.

"What happened?" Scott asked the man.

The guard looked at the Andromeda Initiative insignia on Scott's chest, looked Ryder in the eye. After Scott's meddling in Outcast affairs and mocking Sloane Kelly, he expected the man to tell him to go to hell or something equally colorful and rude. But the man straightened a little, said, "Murdered early this morning, after most of the bar's crowds had gone home." He pointed to the door of Kralla's Song. "No one saw anything-least, none that admit to seeing anything." The man huffed. "Again. I don't get paid enough for this shit."

"Again?" Scott frowned. "There's been more?"

"Seven by my count, but that's all I know," the guard offered.

Perhaps Mr. Vidal will have more information, SAM suggested helpfully over their private channel.

Scott winced even as he laughed. "Seriously?" he muttered under his breath. "It seems I just can't get enough of embarrassing myself in front of the man."

"He is the most likely person to have information who will speak to you, pathfinder," SAM said.

"I know, I know." Scott looked over his shoulder at Peebee and Liam. "Shall we?"

When the three of them arrived at Tartarus, Scott's companions slowed up. Scott turned to question them, but paused at the uncontrollable grin on Peebee's face. His eyes slid to Liam. The man laughed and cleared his throat.

"We'll just hang out here, ya know, enjoy the view," he swept a hand out over the sulfur-smelling, acid-water mud puddles littering the ground of the cave-like slums.

Scott arched a brow at that. "Uh-huh," he said slowly, with no small amount of suspicion. Throwing the pair another look over his shoulder Scott entered the club. He heard Peebee giggle before the door closed behind him.

When he entered the private lounge for the third time in two days his heart immediately raced at the sight of the man sitting on the couch. Reyes' elbow was resting on the arm of the couch, his closed fist resting over his mouth as he stared at a spot on the floor. Whatever was on his mind had drawn a frown between his brow. However, the moment he heard Scott enter and looked up, a sincere smile appeared as Reyes stood to greet him.

"Ryder, I'm glad you're here..." he trailed off. "Is everything all right? You don't look well."

Scott knew the awful night before showed in his eyes, even if he'd managed to hide the rest of the evidence with a cold shower and a large mug of his favorite coffee. Reyes indicated for Scott to sit and then sat next to him-their thighs touching. Scott couldn't help but be acutely aware of Reyes' touch. He looked at the other man and followed Reyes' gaze down to his ring-which he was twisting with his thumb again. He instantly stopped and squeezed his left hand into a fist.

"Just a rough night," Scott said. "Couldn't sleep."

"Mm," Reyes hummed, the tone told Scott the man knew there was much more to it than that, but was graciously letting him keep his secrets for now. Reyes gripped Scott's knee firmly, a brief show of support, let it linger a moment before pulling his hand away. "I'm sure you've heard about the murders?"

Scott nodded. "There's a fresh body outside of Kralla's. Some people seem to think the Charlatan is involved."

Scott saw a sexy flash of teeth when Reyes smiled before his lips settled into a charming smirk. The man leaned back into the couch cushion. "The Charlatan, hm? I don't buy it. The Charlatan is discreet, careful. Whoever did this wanted the bodies found."

Scott turned a little on the couch to face the smuggler. "To send a message, perhaps?"

"But to whom?"

Scott smiled, remembering his disastrous meeting with her royal highness. "Maybe someone's not happy about the way Sloane's running things," he said.

"Less than a third of the victims are Outcasts," Reyes pointed out. "No. If I were a betting man-which I am-I would put my money on the Roekaar. The port is angaran-built and until Sloane took over, angaran-run. I think the Roekaar might have come looking for new recruits-things got out of hand."

"And the angara victims?"

"I did a little digging," Reyes casually pointed at his datapad on the short table. "The angara that were killed were public Milky Way sympathizers."

"Everyone dead is either from the Milky Way-"

"Or supported us," Reyes finished with a smile.

"Makes sense, I guess," Scott agreed. "Better than any theory anyone else has, myself included. Could the Resistance help with this?"

Reyes shook his head. "They don't want to antagonize the Roekaar."

Scott sighed. "I guess that's where I come in." Scott rubbed his eyes. "I was going to fix the whole damn planet today, but I suppose you lot can survive another day, right?"

Reyes gave a surprised laugh. "Spoken like a true hero." He placed a hand on Scott's thigh. "Truly you do amazing things, Ryder. But I appreciate your help with this. I can only investigate so far. I need that fancy AI of yours to scan for evidence."

"You hear that, SAM?" Scott said, with a small smile at Reyes. "Reyes thinks you're fancy."

"I appreciate the compliment, Mr. Vidal," SAM said.

Reyes winked at Scott. "You are remarkable, SAM, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." He sobered up a little, his thumb lightly caressing back and forth where his hand still rested on top of Scott's leg. "People are scared, Ryder. Even more than is normal for this place. This is your opportunity to win over friends in the port. I want that to happen. I don't like the idea of so many lunatics out there gunning for you, looking for their ten minutes of fame."

Scott smiled gently, touched by the other's concern. "If you think I'm so easy to take down, you grossly underestimate my skill." He meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but Reyes only became more adamant.

"Skill won't always win out against numbers, or people with nothing to lose. Just," he paused, looking Scott in the eye. "Be careful. The Roekaar especially hate you. You're giving us a foothold in Heleus-they don't like that."

"Understood," Scott said, in a tone that indicated he paid Reyes' concern the seriousness it deserved. In a moment of weakness Scott reached down and squeezed Reyes' hand before standing up. "Since I'm so integral in this plan, I'll get going."

Reyes chuckled. "SAM is integral, you're a bonus. One of the crime scenes isn't far. I'll send you the coordinates. And Ryder," he spoke up as Scott turned away. "If you're having trouble sleeping...I could help you with that."

Scott silently cursed as his body betrayed him with a strong tingling sensation in intimate areas. He managed a half smile. "I will try to keep that in mind." Try? That was going to be all he thought about now.

Reyes' golden eyes pierced into Scott's very soul.

"See that you do," he said.