Eleven days after Aizen's escape:
Kira had an excellent, work-related reason to visit the Fifth; he really did, but Gin had laughed at him the moment he heard it and told him to take the morning off. Kira wanted to argue that he really did have work, but time off was time off. Now all he needed to do was come up with a reason to give Hinamori for his visit.
He took the walk to the Fifth to think something up. It wasn't the nice, pleasant walk it usually was. The people along the street were tense. The vendors did not push their wares so loudly, and there were far fewer shoppers than usual. Everyone, shinigami and civilians alike, grew quiet as he passed and watched him go by.
He was used to a little extra attention as a lieutenant. He was higher up the food chain than most ever aspired to, but this was different. He was certain he could feel fear in the air.
The Fifth was worse. There was a definite air of mourning. Every shinigami in the division had once been proud to proclaim they were part of the Fifth, handpicked from the Academy by Captain Aizen himself. They were the most promising youths; the division contained few older members, only officers ever stayed long. The others tended to trade out once they were trained to specialties. In other divisions they would learn to perfect their skills, but here was where the best started.
Now, they all seemed lost. They went about their daily routines without any of their previous enthusiasm. Most had loved their captain, a few had been even as dedicated as Hinamori. None of them seemed sure what to do now that their direction had been lost.
The atmosphere reminded Kira of how lucky he was. The Third had gotten their captain back. Sure they all knew he had killed for Aizen, but they'd all been pretty sure he was some sort of psychopath before then. Knowing he'd been working against Aizen actually made him look a little better, even with all the killing. They hadn't lost anything. They had even gained a certain amount of confidence; they now knew that their captain had not been acting on thoughtless whims but had been working and continued to work toward a single goal, the destruction of Aizen Sosuke.
And Kira was now going to check on a girl who would happily die for that same Aizen Sosuke. He sighed as he knocked on the office door.
It was opened immediately by the division Third Seat, who bowed his head slightly before allowing Kira to enter and stepped out, closing the door behind him.
Kira looked around the room nervously. Hinamori was alone, working at her desk, surrounded by stacks of paper.
She finished whatever she was writing before she raised her head. "Good morning, Kira," she said, a small, embarrassed smile turning up her lips.
Kira wondered how much more embarrassed she would be if she knew his captain had seen her in his bed. She probably wouldn't even be able to speak to him after that. Not that he was much better; he could feel his own cheeks heating up as he struggled to force words out. "Good—good morning," he repeated, painfully aware of how awkward he sounded. "Are you—how are you doing—I mean—are you—you know, keeping up with everything ok? Do you need any help or anything?"
"I'm fine," she said, softly, her eyes dropping to her desk. "You have your own work to do. You don't have to come check on me."
"I didn't," he said quickly. "I just—Captain Ichimaru gave me the morning off so I thought I'd--I'm going to go check on--on Renji--and Rukia. Wanna come?"
Hinamori turned a shade paler at his suggestion, but after a moment she nodded. "Captain Kuchiki and Renji have been taking turns looking after her so we'll need to find out who's at the Sixth this morning."
"I already checked," Kira answered. "There's another meeting this morning so Renji will be with Rukia--are you sure you want to go? You don't have to if it's going to bother you. I mean you have to be really busy with--everything."
She looked down at the stack of paperwork, and Kira could see her wavering. "Renji's our friend. We have to support him any way we can," she said finally.
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It was an awkward and uncomfortable walk. Hinamori knew Kira was worried about her. She knew he wanted to ask her if she'd come to terms with her captain's betrayal, but she couldn't honestly answer him. She was so terribly confused. Kira's explanation of everything that had happened did make sense, if she could believe that Captain Aizen was a monster who would torture a girl just to send a message and that Captain Ichimaru Gin was some sort of hero who'd risked his life trying to stop Captain Aizen. Only she knew both Captain Aizen and Captain Ichimaru, and it was easy to see who was evil.
On the other hand, Third Seat Nakajima had sat down with her and explained to her each and every fact they knew about the conspiracy Captain Aizen was trying to uncover. It seemed so obvious when he explained it that something dark had infected the Gotei. Even the fact that Captain Aizen was working with an Arrancar could be explained. He had discovered the Gotei's experiments on hollows and had freed the Arrancar from Kurotsuchi's laboratory in return for assistance trying to end the experiments forever.
An Arrancar did not have to be evil. It was a hollow who had regained its human reason if not its heart. Nakajima had even told her he could arrange for her to meet Ulquiorra if she wanted. She could see for herself that all he wanted was to be freed from his cursed existence.
And the injuries Rukia had suffered? Probably inflicted by Captain Ichimaru himself. Captain Aizen had mistakenly believed that returning the girl to Ichimaru's home, with his children and his poor ignorant wife present, would protect her from any harm. He had never imagined Ichimaru would hurt her just to further the lie that Captain Aizen was a monster.
In the end, Hinamori didn't know what to think. Nothing made sense anymore. She couldn't take Kira's word for it that Ichimaru was not the monster he seemed to be, but could she really believe he had done so much to Rukia in so short a time? Maybe some sort of kido had broken her mind?
All she knew for sure was that Rukia and, to a lesser extent, Renji were innocent victims and they needed all the help and support she could give. That was why she had chosen to join Kira because maybe she couldn't figure out who else was doing the right thing, but she, herself, could choose to do what was right. Kindness toward a friend in need was completely unambiguous, and that was what she needed right now. She just needed to do the right thing.
So with Kira by her side she braved the Kuchiki Estate and faced off with the Kuchiki servants and was led to her friends, and it was all just as horrible as she imagined it would be. That was alright, though. Her misery was probably deserved. She distrusted her friends, her captain, and everyone around her because she didn't have the brains to see the truth. A person like her did not deserve happiness.
Even as they approached Renji, and she could see his brilliant red hair through the densely packed bamboo, she found herself wondering if she could really trust him. He had been in the Eleventh for years, and the Eleventh had switched sides so easily it was clear all they cared about was fighting. Right and wrong were immaterial to them--but Renji wasn't like that. She hated herself for even wondering. Renji was a good person, just like her and Kira; all of them were caught up in events beyond their control or even their understanding.
She smiled sadly when she saw them. Renji had taken Rukia out to a little tea house. The servant who led them there had explained that the household noise disturbed Rukia, so he had taken her to the quietest place on the grounds. It was a pretty little building, quaint and humble in the way that rich people do when they're playing at humility. It was a single room and the roof was thatched, but even the thatching was cleaner and tidier than a peasant's roof would ever be. Nothing else from the fine white rice paper in the shoji walls to the highly polished dark wood porch floor even attempted to imitate a more humble lifestyle.
Rukia and Renji sat side by side on the porch. Renji's entire attention was focused on the girl beside him, and Rukia, looking thinner and more fragile than she had even looked after weeks imprisoned, stared blankly out at the bamboo grove that surrounded the tiny tea house. Only her hand locked onto Renji's showed she had any awareness of her surroundings at all.
"I will leave you here," the servant said as they came to the clearing, and he bowed before retreating back down the narrow path.
Hinamori stood beside Kira, unsure if they should speak up or try to approach silently so as not to disturb Rukia. Two nights before the distant sound of men on the practice ground had set Rukia off. She thought speaking would probably be alright, but she wasn't sure.
Renji got to his feet, slowly, speaking to Rukia as he did. It still surprised Hinamori how gentle he could sound reassuring Rukia, promising he wasn't leaving her, promising she was never, ever going to be alone. It was so unlike the Renji she was used to who was always gruff and clumsy with his words, who could never communicate anything deep or meaningful. He'd never had the guts to tell Rukia he liked her, and now he was promising to be with her forever.
It wasn't like he had to be here either. He'd had to fight Captain Kuchiki to be allowed to help. The captain had intended to do everything alone, certain that he was the only person who could protect and care for his sister properly. Renji could be running the Sixth right now, but he had given up that once in a lifetime opportunity. He had convinced his captain that he had a right to be here for Rukia.
Renji crossed the raked sand to meet them, but he stood so that he could keep an eye on Rukia even while he spoke to them. "Hey," he said shortly.
"She looks like she's doing a lot better," Hinamori offered. It was true; when she'd left Rukai had been pinned in Renji's arms, screaming and trying to claw out her own eyes.
"She is," he answered. Then he added. "The captain had to give in. He let Unohana give her something to block out her memories. It's not permanent, but it's supposed to let them come back slowly so she can, I guess, process them or something. Now she's all fuzzy and, you know after you've had a really horrible nightmare and you can't remember it, but you can't breathe you're so scared? That's how she is. And it's kinda mucked up her other memories too so she's kinda confused, but I guess she'll know you. It was nice of you to come."
"We just wanted to see how you were doing, and if we can help--"
"Nah, there's nothing--well, could you tell Kaien-san, I think she'd like to see him? She's asked about him a couple times. I think she sorta remembers seeing him fighting Tosen, but when I tell her what happened she doesn't really get it--hey, Rukia, look who dropped by!"
Rukia turned abruptly. Her huge eyes were suddenly on Kira and Hinamori. Hinamori immediately understood what Renji had meant by fuzzy. Her eyes focused on them for a moment but almost immediately began to drift away, like she had never really seen them in the first place. She was distracted by memories she could no longer find.
"It's Kira and--"
"I know Kira and Momo. I'm not stupid," Rukia interrupted him impatiently, and Hinamori was happy to hear she sounded like herself, even if she didn't have quite the spark she'd once had, and the apology that followed certainly wasn't like her. "Sorry. I'm sorry, Renji. I am stupid. You're just trying to help."
"Hey, it's alright. You're not stupid, Rukia," Renji said, but her attention had already wandered.
She was looking off to one side. Her expression was puzzled and a little worried as she stared vaguely at something only she could see. "Renji?" she said, and there was an edge to her voice, like she was fighting the urge to panic. "Did--did something happen? Did--something's wrong--"
Renji was beside her instantly, taking her hands and telling her nothing was wrong. Hinamori fought the urge to cry as she watched him, practically begging Rukia to let it go, to not try to remember, to just trust him and not worry about any of it. He was trying so hard to protect her, but in the end there wasn't really anything he could do. Rukia was lost and incomplete without her memories, but the memories, when they came back, would probably still be too much. They would probably shatter her all over again.
In her head, Hinamori could hear Rukia screaming like she had two nights earlier. Had Captain Aizen done that to her? It was unthinkable, and yet Kira believed it. Everyone believed it. How could they believe her beloved Captain Aizen was a monster, because only a monster could have hurt Rukia like this. She couldn't stand it; she couldn't stand to even consider it. The idea was just too horrendous. The Third Seat had to be right. There had to be some sort of dark plot corrupting the Gotei from within because the alternative was just too awful. Hinamori could never accept that Captain Aizen was a monster.