Gin did not react when he heard the door open. He continued to stare at the same page of text he'd been staring at for the last hour. He'd left it to Rangiku to deal with Kin-chan and closed himself up in his study after cleaning the blood off his face and changing his clothes. Nemu had broken his nose as well as knocking out a couple of teeth, but he could manage enough of a healing kido to put off going to the Fourth until morning, if he bothered at all.

He'd heard Toshiro come home with food, but decided to let them enjoy their dinner. There really was no reason to force them all to endure his presence. Cold food had never bothered him anyway.

He heard the door fall shut again, and Rangiku spoke. "I brought you some dinner."

She set the plate in front of him when he didn't respond and reached a hand across the desk to run her fingers through his hair. "How's your nose?" she asked. Her voice sounded teasing, but he could tell it was strained.

"I'm fine, Rangiku," he said, not looking up.

"Rangiku?" she repeated. "Really? Do you really think calling me Rangiku is enough to get me to leave you alone to wallow in guilt and self-loathing? You did what you believed you had to do. Shiro-chan understands; Kin-chan and Yuki both will too someday. You--"

"Toshiro despises me," Gin said softly. "Not that I can blame him."

Rangiku slid her hand under his chin and forced him to raise his head, to meet her eyes as she leaned across the desk. An enormous smile spread across her face as a thought suddenly occurred to her. "This is just like back in the old days when you tried to avoid me and called me Matsumoto-san, and I'd come and bug you at the Fifth--and you still don't look down my top!"

"I've seen what's under it."

"You hadn't then."

"And I was trying very hard not to. You were tempting enough as it was."

Rangiku sighed, and the smile faded from her lips.

"Shiro-chan doesn't despise you," she said. "He's very angry at you. He wishes you'd done pretty much everything differently, straightforward and directly, like he would have, not lying and waiting and deceiving everyone, but he understands or he's starting too. He knows you're not like him, and you couldn't have done things the way he would have. You could only be who you are. You did the very best you could, and you did it because you love us and you want to keep us safe. He understands that, and that's the part that matters. He could never hate you, knowing all you were trying to do was save us."

"I don't know, Ran. There are plenty of people who are finding it very easy to hate me, pretty much everyone but you, and I think we can all agree that your judgement is not the best where I'm concerned."

"It's not just me," Rangiku interrupted. "You heard Nemu; Captain Ukitake's forgiven you, and Kira adores you--I have no idea why, the way you always pick on him, but he really does. I don't think one of the people who was here the other night hates you--maybe poor little Momo, but that's just so she can keep lying to herself--I do wish there was some way you could help her. You knew the real Aizen. It seems like you should be able to help her see the truth."

"She sees what she wants to see, like you do."

Rangiku laughed at that. "Is that what you think? You think I'm like Momo, making up some beautiful, perfect picture of you to love? I know exactly what you are, Gin. I know you're a liar and a murderer, and whatever conscience you ever had you've buried so deep you've almost forgotten what guilt feels like. I know you made yourself into a monster, and for a long time it scared me. But it never made me love you any less because I do see the real you. I could see that you were fighting like hell for us. You were tearing yourself up, inside and out, pushing yourself harder than any sane person ever would for us. Despite what you and Shiro think, I've never been blind to what you are. I've always known, and I've always known you are worth loving anyway."

Gin stared at her wordlessly. His thoughts could not progress beyond how very undeserving he was of Rangiku and her love. She was too kind, too forgiving. He didn't know what to do or say in the face of such absolute and unconditional love. He would happily have spent the rest of his existence making whatever amends she demanded. This, this asking nothing; he had no idea what he was supposed to do with this.

"And now you're going to go read Kin-chan a bedtime story to show him that no matter what scary things Captain Ichimaru Gin may have done, here at home he's still just Daddy, who complains when he has to read children's stories and cheats at games and loves his family more than anything in the world."

Gin smiled slightly. Kinta had always had such absolute faith in him. Maybe he really could just separate 'Daddy' from 'Captain Ichimaru' and not worry too much about what he had heard this afternoon. "You really think he wants me to read to him?"

"No," Rangiku answered, still smiling. "He's scared and confused and told me Niichan should read his story tonight, but you need to show him you're the same person you've always been--and if he asks you any questions you have to answer honestly. He's always trusted you, and as long as you honor his trust, I think he always will. You're his daddy. He loves you, and he wants to believe in you."

Gin sighed as he got to his feet. "At least I never had to worry about disappointing Shiro."

Rangiku sighed. "No, I don't think he's ever expected much from either of us. It's kind of sad if you think about it. I wasn't really much of a mom back then. He's practically had to raise himself. I hope I'm doing a little better with Kin-chan and Yuki."

Gin reached out and pulled her to him. "Don't say that. You're the best mom any kids ever had. You were exactly what Shiro needed. You gave him space to grow, but you were always there when he needed you. You still are. You're his lieutenant, and he knows you've always got his back, and Kin-chan's the happiest little kid I've ever seen, and that's because of you, too, and I know Yuki will be, too. You are a fantastic mom!"

Rangiku hugged him back for a second before pulling away. "Well, if I'm going to be a fantastic mom I'd better go get Yuki so Shiro-chan can take his bath."

"It's really going to be too bad when Shiro moves out," Gin said as he followed Rangiku from the office. "No more built in babysitter."

"I'm not a babysitter," Shiro declared, shoving Yuki into his mother's arms as he met them in the hall. "And I'm moving out as soon as Aizen is dealt with. All this back and forth is a pain in the neck. I have work to get done."

"Shiro-chan, you promised!" Rangiku protested, following as he turned back to the living room.

"I could get tons more done if I didn't have to spend all my time carrying papers back and forth, not to mention being the only person who cooks, the babysitter, and the Kinta corraller," Toshiro argued.

"I'll be back to work soon and you won't have nearly so much to do!" Rangiku said. "And no one asks you to cook. I thought you liked to."

"Don't you ever get sick of eating bento or in the Division mess hall?" Toshiro answered.

Gin turned away from their argument. Rangiku would probably win for the time being. Toshiro really was just a kid, and he couldn't completely hide the fact that he enjoyed being able to act like one at home. He'd always been a responsible child, but being able to whine and complain and blame other people for his problems was a luxury he enjoyed at home that the stoic Captain of Division Ten would never do.

So while Rangiku argued, Gin went to face son number two, the only one of their children who appeared to have inherited Rangiku's sunny disposition.

Kinta was already bathed and in bed. His golden curls were almost red as they hung in damp ringlets around his face. He was staring intently at the glossy pages of a children's book, taking in the picture of a boat on the sea, an image of a world as unreal to him as Soul Society must be to humans.

It suddenly struck Gin as funny that reality was just a matter of perspective. Humanity thought shinigami were mythical, and he'd never heard of any philosophy that included Soul Society as it really was, but to Kinta the idea of an ocean was equally unimaginable. Both were real but hidden from each other.

But Aizen had his eye on every world and every dimension. He wanted to replace the Soul King, but Gin knew that was not the end of his ambition. Every reality would be forced to align to his will. Hueco Mundo was already his, but he had his eyes on Heaven and Soul Society and probably even Hell. Everything and everyone would bow to him--and Gin knew no way to stop him or to protect his family from him.

Despair hit him once more with the force of a million lead bricks. It was crushing. Usually he could separate himself from it. He'd spent his entire life separating himself from anything he felt so he could do what needed to be done. But this time he had no plan, no direction, and only an impossible goal. Every day he was having a harder time not dwelling on it.

"Are you sad, Daddy?" Kinta asked, startling Gin from his thoughts.

"Nah," Gin answered with a quick smile. He didn't like realizing he'd allowed his feelings to be evident on his face, but then he remembered what Rangiku had said, be honest--like that was even possible for him. "A little worried, maybe."

"Do you think the White Man is going to come back?" Kinta asked, wide-eyed. They hadn't allowed him to see Rukia, but it was impossible to keep the knowledge of her injuries from him completely, and the White Man had become the villain in his young mind, and he had woken more than once to nightmares of the White Man chasing him. Gin understood. The emotionless Ulquiorra had featured in more than one of his nightmares, usually with hands dripping with Rangiku's blood.

"If the White Man comes back I will kill him," Gin promised, being much more straightforward and direct than Rangiku with her comforting 'Daddy will protect us' and 'Daddy won't let anyone hurt us' that she had told the boy when he awoke screaming.

Kinta stared at Gin a moment longer. Then, suddenly, he smiled. "You're a captain so you're stronger than the White Man, aren't you? You can fight him and beat him! You can beat anyone!"

Gin returned the smile, although he wondered. He'd tested his bankai on a Vasto Lorde once because it seemed wise to be sure of the potency of the poison, but, just like with Aizen, the trick with killing an Espada would be managing to make the killing blow. Not that he didn't have a plan worked out for taking out each and every one of Aizen's pets. He had studied them, just as he had studied the captains and lieutenants of the Gotei, learning their strengths and weaknesses and working out as many counters as possible because you never knew when someone might decide you were the enemy. Gin believed in being prepared.