Trigger warning: attempted suicide. You have been warned.

Chapter 9: Second Thoughts

"Spare the others. I am ready."

-The leper (Darkest Dungeon)

Ralsei stood silent in the night, a few feet away from his sleeping companions. They had chosen to sleep in shifts to prevent another ambush, and it was currently his turn on watch. He leaned against a tree, sighing in boredom. While he appreciated the lack of imminent danger, he found this task to be a very uninteresting one.

He looked around, taking in the sights around him. While the snowy forest did indeed look beautiful, it had lost its luster after the first hour. He sat down on the ground, removing his scarf. For a moment, he simply enjoyed the feeling of the cool breeze on his face. It didn't alleviate his boredom, but it was at least pleasant.

He jumped slightly as he heard the sound of crunching snow behind him. He turned around, conjuring a magical orb in his hands. There was nothing behind him. He glanced at his companions. Susie was sprawled out on the ground in a deep sleep, with Noelle curled into a ball just beside her.

Ralsei watched for a moment, keeping his spell at the ready. He saw no assailants, heard no sound aside from his own breathing. He began to relax, allowing the orb in his hand to dissipate.

Then he noticed that Kris was missing.

He looked around, but he was nowhere to be seen. He noticed a trail of fresh footprints in the snow, leading off into a secluded part of the forest.

'What are you doing, Kris...?' Ralsei pondered, following the trail.

He walked slowly, quietly navigating through the trees. The trail led through a thick patch of trees before emerging into a small clearing. At the center of the clearing, Kris sat on a tree stump, his back turned to Ralsei. He was holding his head in his hands.

Ralsei prepared to step toward him, but stopped when he suddenly broke the silence.

"Why the hell won't you just leave me alone?" he asked. Ralsei stayed silent and watched.

"Now, you know I can't do that, partner," Chara replied in that condescending tone of hers, her voice unheard by Ralsei. "We're going to be together for a very long time."

"Why, though? Seriously, why? I didn't ask for this." Anger crept into his voice. Ralsei quickly deduced who he was talking to.

"Circumstances forced me to pair up with you, Kris. Believe me, if I didn't need you, you'd already be dead."

"'Circumstances', huh? Enlighten me."

"Didn't I already explain everything to you?"

"Actually, no. You just showed up one day and violently ripped my soul from my body without even saying hello. Terrible first impression, by the way."

"Yes, I guess you're right. If you haven't pieced it together already, I'm not a demon in the traditional sense of the word. In fact, I was a human once."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes. I'm not from this world, though. You see, this isn't the only timeline that exists. The one I came from is entirely different from this one. In fact, I'm not even sure you existed in that one."

"I thought there was something off about you. What does that have to do with you possessing me, though?"

"Most of the details aren't important, but long story short, I died. My soul didn't fade away, though. I wasn't finished in that world quite yet. The only problem was, human souls can only last for so long after the human dies before they start to fade. I needed a body."

"So you preyed on other humans."

"Exactly. Unfortunately, most of them weren't... determined enough for my purposes. They died, too. It took six humans before I finally found a workable vessel."

"Well, good for you. It's never easy finding your soulmate."

Kris' arm suddenly began to move against his will, possessed by Chara. She forced him to slap himself across the face, then returned control of the limb.

"You're starting to remind me of a certain someone... Someone I hated more than anyone else."

"Uh-huh. So you stole a body from another human after a lot of failed attempts. Why?"

"I'll say this in no uncertain terms: I despise humanity, Kris. I have never felt more genuine hatred for anything else in my life. I wanted the humans to die. All of them."

"Why? Did a human kill you or something?"

Chara went silent for a moment. "I'd rather not say. It's not important anyway. The important part was that if I wanted to fulfill my goal, I needed power. And there was only one way to get that kind of power."

"Apocalyptic genocide."

"Correct. I didn't have access to any other humans, so I had to make do with monsters. I wasn't happy about it, and neither was my new partner, but it was the only way. We couldn't let anyone live... Not the ones I made friends with so long ago, not those weird skeleton brothers... not even my own parents."

"Forgive me for not feeling sympathy for the bloodthirsty psycho. So, you wiped out the monsters. Then what?"

"At the end of it all, we had the power to destroy that entire timeline. My partner tried so hard to stop me... but at that point, it wasn't her choice anymore. As far as I know, there's no trace of that world left."

Kris was stunned. "You... destroyed an entire timeline...?"

"And I didn't even stop there. That was the most interesting part about it all. After the world ended, I had the ability to invade the other ones. There are so many, Kris... infinitely many."

"...And you want to eradicate all of them."

"As many as I can before I finally fade away for good."

"Right... How'd you end up here?"

"Eventually, it got boring reliving the same story over and over. Some timelines had a gimmicky twist on them, but not enough to keep me engaged. Then I noticed this one, completely unrelated to the rest. How could I resist?"

"And this time, I was the lucky human that got to be your host."

"Exactly. Now you know the state of things. That's why I'm here with you, and why I'll be here with you until you finally stop resisting."

"Then you're gonna be here for a long, long time."

"I think you're underestimating my own determination, Kris. The only reason I'm still around is through sheer force of will. Besides, I can tell your will is getting weaker."

"What gave you that idea?"

"You're filled with regret. You feel like a danger to everyone else. You feel like a burden. You're losing your will to carry on because you care about your friends so very much."

Kris said nothing.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"You're... not wrong."

A ghostly laugh echoed in Kris' head. "It's just a matter of time. You'll break soon enough."

He buried his face in his hands. What if she was right? What if he couldn't outlast her? If she was capable of conquering entire timelines, could she even be stopped?

Ralsei looked on in sadness. His every instinct was telling him to pull Kris into a hug and tell him everything would be alright. He was clearly miserable about something, and whatever it was, it was obviously taking a toll on him. Slowly, Ralsei began to step toward him, only to stop in his tracks when he spoke again.

"What was that you said about needing a host?" he asked.

"I don't like repeating myself," Chara replied, clearly annoyed.

"Your soul will fade away if you don't have a body, right?"

"Where are you going with this...?"

Kris wordlessly drew his sword. For a moment, he simply stared at it, looking into the eyes of his reflection in the blade.

"If your soul fades away, then you're not a threat anymore," he whispered. His grip on the weapon trembled slightly.

"Don't even try it, Kris," Chara hissed. "I swear on my life, I will slaughter everyone you love."

"How are you gonna manage that? Don't you need a determined human as a host?"

"I'll find a way. I always do."

"Someone'll stop you, I know it. If I can at least slow you down, that's good enough for me."

"You're really willing to leave your friends behind to mourn you? Your family?"

"I'm doing this to protect them. If I have to die to make sure they live... then I'm content."

Kris held his sword mere inches from his heart. His hands began to shake. He hesitated. He didn't want to die. But he had to stop Chara. This was the best way to protect everyone else. But how would they feel? Surely someone would miss him.

'What the hell am I gonna do?' He let out a shaky sigh, lowering his weapon a bit.

"Kris, stop!" Ralsei's voice suddenly broke the silence.

Kris jumped in fright, dropping his sword. "Ralsei? What are you doing here?"

Ralsei ran to Kris' side, reaching for the sword. "What are you doing here, Kris?"

Kris snatched the weapon from Ralsei's grasp. "I couldn't sleep... I came here to clear my head."

"And what are you doing with your sword?"

Kris looked away.

"Kris, talk to me. Please." Ralsei sat beside Kris, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"This... isn't your problem."

Ralsei shook his head. "Kris, I've been behind you for a while now. I heard you talking. I know what you were about to do."

There was no reply.

"Why, Kris? Why were you about to do that?"

Still no reply.

"You don't have to do this! We'll find a way to stop Chara, I promise. You don't have to die, Kris."

"What if we can't stop her?" Kris finally snapped. "Ralsei, she never gives up. She never stops trying to take control. I can't even remember a time when she wasn't whispering in the back of my mind." He hung his head.

"She can't be invincible. If there's a way to beat her, we can find it. I know we can. But we need you, Kris."

"How can you be so confident? The best plan we've got is, 'hope the royal scientist can help and that the Knight doesn't freaking kill us'."

"He will be able to help, I know it." Ralsei cringed a bit. The mere mention of the royal scientist dredged up unfond memories.

"And what about the Knight? Or Chara? What's going to stop them from hurting the three of you? What's going to stop them from killing you?"

Kris' eyes shifted to the sword in his hands.

"If I do this, then you guys can at least go home and live your lives."

"Kris, I can't let you do this. Please, don't do this." Ralsei's voice began to crack.

"I'm trying to protect you. Please, don't make this any harder." Kris struggled to force back the tears forming in his eyes.

"You can't expect me to sit back and watch you kill yourself!"

"Ralsei, you're all in danger because of me!" Kris suddenly shouted. "You saw what Chara's been doing. You know the Knight's not gonna hesitate to kill us. And it's..."

The tears began to flow freely.

"...it's all because of me, Ralsei. This is all my fault..."

Kris allowed the weapon to fall to the ground. He buried his face in his hands.

"Kris, you know that's not true," Ralsei began to console him. "You didn't ask for any of this. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I brought Chara here, Ralsei." Kris' voice was muffled and shaky. "I led the Knight to us. I put you all in danger."

"You can't blame yourself for this," Ralsei whispered. "What else were you supposed to do?"

"I... I don't know..."

Ralsei pulled Kris into a hug. He immediately returned the embrace, burying his face in Ralsei's shoulder. His body trembled as he wept softly.

"I'm so sorry..." he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't need to apologize, Kris," Ralsei replied, gently caressing his head. "Everything's going to be okay."

Kris nodded silently.

The two remained in that position for several minutes. No words were spoken, no movements made. Slowly but surely, Kris' breathing steadied. His tight grip on Ralsei's cloak began to loosen.

He pulled away, his face stained with tears. "Ralsei... thank you. I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

"It's okay, Kris," Ralsei reassured him. "You have the right to cry."

Kris wiped his eyes. "I don't normally break down like that. It's just..." he trailed off.

Ralsei nodded. "You know I'm here for you, right? We all are. Whenever you need us. We want to help you through this, Kris. We don't care how dangerous it is."

Surprisingly, Kris began to smile. "That... means a lot to me. You have no idea how much I appreciate all of you."

Ralsei began to smile himself. "We all really care about you. I..." he faltered, "...I care about you a lot."

"Are you blushing?"

"Huh?" Ralsei hid his face behind his scarf. "N-no..."

Kris chuckled. "If you say so."

"You seem to be in a better mood already," Ralsei observed. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I've got you guys backing me up, right?"

"Always."

"Great. Let's head back, then. I'm exhausted."

Together, they left the clearing, returning to Noelle and Susie's location. Kris immediately threw himself onto the ground, overcome with exhaustion. He briefly glanced at the two girls, then at Ralsei. He smiled to himself.

'What did I ever do to deserve friends like these?' he wondered, before drifting off to sleep.