Thirteen Days after Aizen's Escape
Zaraki Kenpachi frowned as he looked down at his three top officers sharing a mid-morning snack. Yumichika was setting out the tea tray with all the grace and dignity of some sort of noble while Yachiru bounced up and down, exclaiming excitedly over the strawberry jam Yumichika had gotten her, and Ikkaku was yawning and complaining about his nap being interrupted. They were a strange bunch, even he could see that, but it worked, and he was very much of the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' mentality, but then nobody really gave a damn what he thought.
"The higher up's want one of you two to test for lieutenant," he said shortly.
"The hell I wanna be a lieutenant for?" Ikkaku demanded.
And Yumichika followed with, "I'm only a Fifth Seat. They could hardly expect me to pass."
"You beat up Hisagi, didn't you?" Ikkaku pointed out.
"It doesn't make me qualified," Yumichika answered and raised a teacup to his lips.
Kenpachi looked back and forth between the two of them, judging their relative talents and value to the division. "They need somebody to run the Fifth since Hinamori's out and their Third Seat went batshit for Aizen. They can't trust nobody in the division so they need someone else good enough to make lieutenant. We're the ones with extra captain class officers so we get to volunteer. Yumichika, you do it," he said, finally. "I need Ikkaku here."
Yumichika's mouth fell open, and he stared at his captain like he'd just been deeply insulted. "I do all of the paperwork and requisition all of the division supplies, and balance the budget and--"
"Yeah, but we can make people do that when they screw up, an hour in the office if you lose a match or something. That should probably cover it," Kenpachi said with a great air of thinking it over. "Why the hell don't you wanna be a lieutenant anyway? The hell's with you two? No ambition at all."
"I'm here to fight," Yumichika answered. "Why would I want to leave the Eleventh for the Fifth? Everyone knows they're just a bunch of precious little kido lovers who don't want to get their hands dirty."
"You'll fit in perfectly!" Ikkaku declared, slapping Yumichika on the back. "Finally have someone to talk hair products with."
Yumichika just glared at him.
"But I don't want Yu-yu to leave!" Yachiru declared loudly. "Why do we have to give up our Yu-yu? Why can't somebody else do it?"
"Ain't nobody else available," Kenpachi said. "Bout everybody else's stretched to their limits. Most of the lieutenants are running double duty at the moment and taking turns guarding Ichimaru's woman on top of that. Nobody gives a rat's ass if you'd rather keep your playmates here, they got a duty to the Gotei."
Then he turned his gaze back to Yumichika. "You go on down to the First and you knock their test outta the water. If you don't I'll knock your head clean off. I'm not gonna have anyone thinking my Fifth Seat's weak."
Yumichika flinched slightly at Kenpachi's words. "Yes, sir."
--
Ayasegawa Yumichika glared darkly at his reflection in the full length mirror. That was not an expression his reflection usually received, but his appearance was not usually marred by an ugly white strap tying a wooden plaque to his upper left arm. The lieutenant's badge was really spoiling the entire effect, and worse than that it was proof that despite his best efforts he had finally lost his place in the Eleventh.
The test administrators had been a little too interested in his shikai for comfort, too. Sasakibe, the lieutenant of the First, had suggested his shikai was incomplete, and that alone might disqualify him from becoming a lieutenant, and for a moment Yumichika had felt hopeful, but Captain Ukitake had turned his dark eyes to Yumichika and after a long moment considering the Fifth Seat, said, "I see no reason Ayasegawa Yumichika should not advance to the rank of lieutenant. He has more than adequate reiatsu; his skill in kido, kenpo, and shunpo are all at or exceeding the required levels. He is not the first shinigami to clash with his own zanpakuto. The conflict between shinigami and zanpakuto is a conflict within oneself, and can only be resolved through a complete acceptance of every part of one's own character. This acceptance is key in achieving bankai, however it is not expected of anyone below the rank of captain. As long as Ayasegawa does not allow his conflict with his zanpakuto to affect his ability to perform his duties, and I see no evidence that it has, then it is no one's business but his own."
Sasakebi had mumbled his agreement, and Captain Ukitake had congratulated Yumichika on his success, and Yumichika had done his best to seem appreciative--but he wasn't. He had absolutely no desire to ever spend any time at all in the Fifth, and had grumbled, the entire walk back to the Eleventh, about how incredibly dull the Fifth was going to be.
His frown deepened as he continued to consider the problem. He really hated the way the band looked on his arm. For one thing it messed up the line of the sleeve.
He was just about to take it off and try tying it on his belt when Yachiru and Ikkaku appeared behind him.
"Stupid Yu-yu," Yachiru declared. "Can't even fail a stupid test!"
"Don't start thinking that stupid badge means you can take me," Ikkaku told him.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Yumichika answered.
"Damnit," Ikkaku added. "Who're you gonna have watch your back now? The Fifth's weak as hell without even Hinamori. First time you're in a fight with more than one hollow you're gonna be in serious trouble."
Yumichika frowned. He was already plenty aware of that without Ikkaku pointing it out. The Fifth had lost its top three officers and the next two were on 'administrative leave' while their connections to Aizen were investigated. He'd been informed he'd probably be losing the Fifth but possibly not the Fourth, and a number of other members of the division were also going to be investigated, so that was just great. Who wouldn't want to be put in charge of a disintegrating division? Next time he went to a sakaya he was going to be competing with Hisagi to see who could pickle their liver first.
"It's just more for me to kill," he said, aloud. "You're always taking more than your fair share anyway."
"That so?" Ikkaku demanded.
"Yes," Yumichika answered coolly. "And it's about time I did more than sit around watching you fight. I do have skills of my own, you know. The test proves that much, at least."
"Sure it does. What do I care anyway? Go get yourself killed. Have fun," Ikkaku stomped off.
Yachiru glomped onto Yumichika and burst into tears. "We're gonna miss you so much!" she wailed.